and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cur'd. Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady. Beat. Do, good friend. Leon. You'll ne'er run mad, niece. Beat. No, not till a hot January. Mess. Don Pedro is approach'd. Enter Don PEDRO, JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHAZAR, and others. D. Pedro. Good signior Leonato, are you come to meet your trouble? the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it. Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for, trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but, when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave. D. Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your daughter. Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. Bene. Were you in doubt, sir, that you ask'd her? Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself: "Be happy, lady, for you are like an honourable father. Bene. If signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. 13 This phrase is common in Dorsetshire: "Jack fathers him self," is like his father. Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, signior Benedick: nobody marks you. Bene. What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living? Beat. Is it possible disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. - But it is Bene. Then is courtesy a turncoat: certain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. Beat. A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind! ro some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestire scratch'd face. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an were such a face as yours were. Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beat. A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your :ongue; and so good a continuer: But keep your way o'God's name! I have done. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old. D. Pedro. This is the sum of all: Leonato, signior Claudio, and signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato, hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn. Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. Leon. Please it your grace lead on? D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato: we will go together. [Exeunt all but BENEDICK and CLAUDIO. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato ? Bene. I noted her not; but I look'd on her. Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? Claud. No; I pray thee, speak in sober judg ment. Bene. Why, i'faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her; that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. Claud. Thou think'st I am in sport: : I pray thee, tell me truly how thou lik'st her. Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow, or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? 14 Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? 15 Claud. In mine eyę, she is the sweetest lady that ever I look'd on. Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possess'd with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you? Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is't come to this, i'faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with suspicion ? 18 Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again? Go to, i'faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays." Look, Don Pedro is re turned to seek you. Re-enter Don PEDRO. D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's! Bene. I would your grace would constrain me to tell. D. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on 14 Do you scoff and mock in telling us that Cupid, who is blind, is a good hare-finder; and that Vulcan, a blacksmith, is a good carpenter ? 15 That is, join you, go along with you, in singing. 16 That is, subject his head to the disquiet of jealousy. H. 17 That is, become sad and serious, alluding to the manner i which the Puritans usually spent Sunday, with sighs and grunt ings, and other hypocritical marks of devotion. my allegiance, - He is in love. grace's part. mark you this, on my allegiance. With whom?· now that is your Mark, how short his answer is: With Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it utter'd. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.18 18 In illustration of this passage Mr. Blakeway has given his recollections of an old tale, which he thinks may be the one alluded to, very like some that we in our boyhood have often lain awake to hear, and been kept awake with thinking of after the hearing. "Once upon a time there lived a Mr. Fox, a bachelor, who made it his business to decoy or force young women to his house, that he might have their skeletons to adorn his chambers with. Near by dwelt a family, the lady Mary and her two brothers, whom Mr. Fox often visited, they, especially the lady, being much pleased with his company. One day, the lady, being left alone and having nothing else to do, thought to amuse herself by calling upon Mr. Fox, as he had often invited her to do. Knocking some time, but finding no one at home, she at length opened and went in. Over the portal was written, Be bold, be bold, but not too bold. Going forward, she saw the same over the stairway, and again over the door of the chamber at the head of the stairs. Opening this door, she saw at once what sort of work was carried on there. Retreating hastily, she saw out of the window Mr. Fox coming, holding a sword in one hand, and with the other dragging a young lady by the hair. She had just time to hide herself under the stairs before he entered. As he was going up stairs the young lady caught hold of the banister with her hand, whereon was a rich bracelet; he then cut off her hand, and it fell, bracelet and all, into Mary's lap, who took it, and, as soon as she could, hastened home. A few days after, Mr. Fox came to dine with her and her brothers. As they were entertaining each other with stories, she said she would tell them a strange dream she had lately had. She said, — I dreamed, Mr. Fox, that as you had often invited me to your house, I went there one morning. When I came, I knocked, but no one answered; when I opened the door, over the hall was written, Be bold, be bold, but not too bold. But, said she, turning to Mr. Fox and smiling, It is not so, nor it was not so. Then she went on with the story, repeating this at every turn, till she came to the room full of dead bodies, when Mr. Fox took up the burden of the tale, saying, It is not so, nor it was not so, and God forbid ử should be so; which he kept repeating at every turn of the dread |