No longer Deary, Duck, and Love, At times we had a spar, and then The maid declared her master wrong- My Susan's taste was superfine, I never had a coin to spend ! Lay down my pipe, retrench my grog- What d'ye think of that, my dog? Each Sunday night we gave a rout To fops and flirts, a pretty list; And when I tried to steal away, I found my study full of whist! Then, first to come, and last to go, There always was a Captain HoggWhat d' ye think of that, my cat? What d'ye think of that, my dog? Now was not that an awful dream For one who single is and snugWith Pussy in the elbow-chair, And Tray reposing on the rug?If I must totter down the hill, "T is safest done without a clog What d'ye think of that, my cat? What d'ye think of that, my dog? THE WEE MAN. A ROMANCE. It was a merry company, And they were just afloat, When, lo! a man, of dwarfish span, Came up and hailed the boat. "Good-morrow to ye, gentle folks, And will you let me in? A slender space will serve my case, They saw he was a dwarfish man, Not seven such would matter much. They laughed to see his little hat, They laughed to note his dapper coat, But barely had they gone a mile, His coat had got a broader skirt, His hat a broader brim, His leg grew stout, and soon plumped out Still on they went, and as they went More rough the billows grew,- And, lo! where room had been for seven, For five!-for four! -for three!-not more There was not even room for one! "Good sir, you must not sit astern, Good sir, the boat has lost her trim, With smiling face and courteous grace, But still, by constant quiet growth, His back became so wide, Each neighbor wight, to left and right, Lord! how they chided with themselves, To see him grow so monstrous now, That came so small and thin. On every brow a dew-drop stood, Loud laughed the Gogmagog, a laugh "When first I came, my proper name now I'm Moore!" DEATH'S RAMBLE. ONE day the dreary old King of Death His head was bald of flesh and of hair, His joints at each stir made a crack, and the cur Took a gnaw, by the way, at his shank. And what did he do with his deadly darts, He dabbled and spilled man's blood, and he killed The first he slaughtered it made him laugh, To think how the mutes, and men in black suits, Death saw two Quakers sitting at church; He saw two duellists going to fight, He saw a watchman fast in his box And he gave a snore infernal; for he knew Said Death, "He may keep his breath, for his sleep Can never be more eternal." He met a coachman driving a coach So slow that his fare grew sick; But he let him stray on his tedious way, For Death only wars on the quick. Death saw a tollman taking a toll, In the spirit of his fraternity; He found an author writing his life, For Death, who strikes whenever he likes, Death saw a patient that pulled out his purse, And a doctor that took the sum; But he let them be - for he knew that the "fee" Was a prelude to "faw" and "fum." |