Joseph Grummet was found loitering about | the ghost ?"-"Why, sir, I wanted to have the door of the young gentlemen's berth. "Any milk to-morrow, Joseph? said the caterer." No, sir," with a most sensible shake of the head.

SOLID FOR MULHOOLY.

A POLITICAL SATIRE.

[RUFUS E. SHAPLEY was born in Carlisle, Pa., August 4, 1840; graduated at Dickinson College in 1860; was admitted to the bar in 1861, and has been actively engaged in the practice of his profession in Philadelphia since 1868. He has taken a somewhat active part in politics as a speaker, but has never held any political office. With the exception of occasional contributions to newspapers, he has published nothing except "Solid for Mulhooly," which appeared in 1881, and at once be

came immensely popular.]

learned to regard it as a disgrace that no member of the family of their acquaintance had ever learned to read and write. Had such a view of the case been suggested to them, they would, doubtless, have pointed proudly to that long line of Irish kings, from whom they, and all of their countrymen, are descended, not one of whom had ever troubled himself to acquire such useless accomplishments.

When Michael was eighteen years of age, chance brought about a change in his life which laid the foundation of his fortunes, and proved to be the starting-point in his career of greatness. Dennis Mulhooly, a 1. MICHAEL MULHOOLY: HIS ANTECEDENTS. distant cousin, while on a visit to the tombs of his ancestors, conceived the idea of takMichael Mulhooly owed nothing of his ing the boy back with him to America, and greatness to high birth or early advantages. putting him at work in his saloon, known On the contrary, when he first opened his as the "Tenth Precinct House, by Mr. Deneyes his surroundings must have struck his nis Mulhooly." So Michael, not unwillinginfant mind as offering far from encourag-ly, yet not without many tears, bade fareing prospects to one about to begin life.

ever return in the flesh; owing probably to the surprising dearth of native talent for statesmanship which they discover here as soon as they land upon our hospitable shores.

II. HIS FIRST SCHOOL.

well to that beautiful green isle which all his The ancestral halls of the Mulhoolys, countrymen from time immemorial have situated among the bogs of County Tyrone, sworn, and until time shall be no more will Ireland, consisted of a cabin of the style of continue to swear, is the finest spot of green architecture then fashionable in that section earth on this large globe; but which, neverof the country, containing a single apart-theless, so many of them leave at the first ment, inhabited, at the moment of his birth, opportunity, and to which so few of them by his parents, ten rapidly-maturing pledges of their love, and two pigs, which, encouraged by the example of the elder Mulhoolys, annually contributed somewhat more than their share towards the common wealth. These humble but faithful dependents of the family joined their voices to the general welcome which greeted the arrival of the future statesman, and, as soon as he was able to crawl upon the cabin floor, treated him as a foster brother to their own latest addition to the family circle. Thus his infancy, like that of so many of his countrymen who have become leaders of men in our free and happy country, was spent in a condition of poverty and squalor not apparently conducive to exceptional mental growth, but which is, nevertheless, as experience has demonstrated, especially calculated to develop a genius for leadership in American politics.

Education, such as is derived from books, he did not acquire as he advanced towards the years of manhood, on account of circumstances over which he had no control. The fact is, there was not a school-house, or a school-teacher, and probably not a printed book of any kind, within fifty miles of his parental home. The Mulhoolys had not

UPON his arrival he began at the very foot of the ladder. The Tenth Precinct House, by Mr. Dennis Mulhooly," was not situated in what certain people would call a fashionable neighborhood, nor was it patronized by the most exclusive circles of society. Ministers of the gospel, bank presidents, and merchant princes never crossed its threshold. Public banquets to foreign potentates, men of letters and great generals, were never given in this hostelry. There were safer places in the world for a man to fall asleep in if he wished to retain his watch or pocket-book. An oyster counter, a bar, three or four chairs, and a stove, comprised all the furniture of the one low room where Mr. Dennis Mulhooly catered to the appetites of the public. Two men were all the assistants he required prior to the arrival of Michael, who was immediately installed in the responsible but unremunerative post of boy-of-all-work.

young imagination and fired his soul with the daring ambition to be, some day, so great a man and so perfect a gentleman.

He scrubbed the floor, carried out oystershells, made fires, ran errands, and occasionally lent a hand behind the oystercounter and the bar. But he was happy. As he approached the age of manhood, For the first time in his life he knew the his eyes were opened to his want of educaluxury of having enough to eat, a warm tion and the advantages which he might deplace in which to sleep when it was cold, rive from being able to read and write. and clothing enough to cover his entire Nothing daunted by the difficulties before body at one and the same time. He re- him, he set to work under Pat's instructions, ceived no wages beyond his board and in his leisure moments, to master these acclothing, but an occasional dime, earned complishments. It was slow work for such by some menial service cheerfully perform-a pupil, under such a tutor, but other men ed, lit up his dreams with the rose tints of have become senators, judges of the Suapproaching prosperity and made him preme Court, aye, and even Presidents, who smile in his sleep.

began to study under scarcely more favoraBut this humble bar-room, or low grog-ble circumstances. Michael had industry, gery, if you please, was the school-room in which his first lessons of life were learned, and where was revealed to his young ambition the shining ladder, like that which Jacob saw in a dream, leading up to the political Olympus upon which he was destined one day to stand and talk with the gods.

Here the party-workers of the precinct were wont to congregate to discuss the affairs of the nation; and here, prior to party conventions, occasionally came the leaders of the ward, and, sometimes, those greater statesmen whose comprehensive minds ward-limits could not confine, to make those preliminary political arrangements for the good of the country, which they call "getting in their work."

Why continue to talk of the free-school on the hillside as the hope of the Republic, when every day, under your very eyes, you see the indubitable proof that the despised grog-shop is the birthplace of statesmanship, and the maligned gin-mill the very cradle in which shall be rocked into manhood the coming American politician?

It was not surprising that the visits of these great men gave to the young Irish lad glimpses of a world which seemed very far above him, and in which he hardly yet dared to hope some day to live and move. It was not surprising that the fluency of their conversation about politics, sporting matters, and the women of their acquaintance; the richness and elegance of their clothing; the massiveness of their watch chains; the size of their seal rings; the brilliancy of their diamonds; their lavish expenditure of money, and the lordly grace with which they smoked the fragrant Reina Victoria," and ordered Pat, the bar-keeper, to "set 'em up agin," or open another bot.," dazzled his

perseverance and ambition, and, though great was his labor, great also was his reward. When he became able to spell out, in the Police Record, or the Sporting Man's Own, the chaste and graphic accounts of the latest prize-fight, he felt something of that mental exaltation with which more fortunate schoolboys read of the days and deeds of chivalry, when kings and princes contended in knightly tourney. And, as he read of these exhibitions of science and courage, he longed to be some day spoken of as a Heenan, a Morrissey, a Mace, or a Sayers. He lost no opportunity to perfect himself in the manly art, and, as opportunities for practice were not wanting in his neighborhood, before he had reached the age of manhood he had won the reputation of being the hardest hitter and most scientific sparrer in that end of the ward. Happy the youth who wisely selects his ideal of true manhood, and molds his own life in strict accordance with its example!

III.-LEARNS THE A B C OF POLITICS.

BEFORE he came of age he had commended himself to the party-workers who frequented the saloon by acting as the representative at the polls in his precinct, of a gentlemanly young clerk, who, when he offered to vote in person, was surprised to learn that he had already voted at an hour when he could have sworn he was perfecting his toilet, and who was rudely hustled from the polls, glad enough to escape being beaten and afterwards arrested on the charge of attempting to violate the sanctity of the ballot.

At the age of twenty-one Michael Mulhooly was duly naturalized. It was true that by the ordinary methods of computing

V. AN UPWARD LEAP.

constitutional interference with a voter while | ately placed upon his Ward Committee; in the exercise of the elective franchise and, at the next election, was appointed by Michael objected, and commenced to dis- the court an election officer to fill a vacancy, cuss the constitutional questions involved at the instance of one of the ward leaders with so much spirit and force that the offi- who was a candidate for constable. This cer, overcome by his arguments, twice lay duty he also discharged so successfully that down upon the pavement, while Michael when the returns were made up by the elecpersisted in his effort to impress upon him tion officers it was found that his candidate the soundness of his own views of the case. for constable had received nearly a hundred While thus occupied a squad of policemen more votes than those who kept the lists under the command of a sergeant came up, could account for or believed had been cast. and mistaking the meaning of Michael's Thus he commenced to comprehend those gestures, captured him, and, not without unknown quantities in politics which so some difficulty, at last got him inside the materially affect results. station-house, where they preferred against him charges of assault and battery, resisting an officer, and vouching for a repeater known to them as "Big Pat." Michael's detention, however, lasted for only a few minutes, until Hon. Hugh McCann, who had heard of the misunderstanding, came to hunt him up, entered bail for his appearance, and assured him that early in the morning he would himself see the Boss, who would see Judge Coke and have the whole thing "squared." Michael had not yet reached that clause in the Constitution which referred to the office of Boss, and, therefore, he failed to understand, as clearly as he would have done a few years later, the nature of this office and the process of getting such matters "squared." He had now won his political spurs. He had proved himself worthy of citizenship. He had given unmistakable evidences of possessing talents by which, with proper training, he could not fail to make his mark upon the political history of his country. He had voted once before he was of age; had voted four times at the election immediately succeeding his naturalization; at the following election had led to the polls six citizens whose votes it was known would be challenged, and had succeeded in persuading the election officers to receive five of them; had twice knocked down a police officer who interfered with him while he was discharging this delicate and important public duty, and was already under indictment for an alleged violation of the election laws, as well as for an alleged assault and battery upon an officer of the law. Such talents are well known to be more valuable in politics than a knowledge of Greek prosody, or familiarity with the writings of Adam Smith. Such men never fail to receive that recognition from the party leaders to which such invaluable party services entitle them, and accordingly Michael Mulhooly was immedi

ABOUT this time he formed an acquaintance by which he was enabled, at a single jump, to mount several rounds of the political ladder which, in his young dreams, he had seen leading from obscurity to that Olympus above the clouds where the political gods sit and control the destinies of men. This acquaintance he owed partly to his personal charms, partly to his recognized position among the party leaders of his ward, and partly to his fame as an athlete who could hit straight from the shoulder, and who feared not even the formidable officers of the law. He had by this time learned how to improve his natural personal advantages by those arts of dress which gentlemen of his class so well understand. As he sauntered along the fashionable thoroughfares on Saturday afternoons when he was off duty, clad in light plaid breeches, tight at the knee and thence curving gracefully until nearly the whole foot was hidden, cut-away coat of darker plaid pattern, trim at the waist, and with shoulders projecting like the eaves of a Swiss chalet, red silk cravat, Derby hat, yellow kid gloves, and fancyheaded cane, you knew at a glance that you beheld one of those butterflies of the sidewalk known as "mashers." It was not strange, therefore, that all these advantages of person, position and reputation won the regard of a woman some years his senior, whose house, situated within a square of his saloon, was frequented by most of the political leaders of his acquaintance. Nor was it strange that, flattered by her unconcealed preference, he became a constant visitor at her house; her escort to the fashionable minstrel halls and variety shows which she loved to frequent, and stood ready at all times, like a knight of old, to throw down