no politics."-" What," exclaimed the committee in surprise, "no politics?" "No, gentlemen," rejoined the imperturbable Joseph, "not a d-d politic." He was elected unanimously, as many of our readers from will doubtless remember, and we hope, should it ever come to pass that we are a candidate for public office, we may meet with the like good fortune.

So farewell, oh, Leonidas, we trust you are not yet "boiling with indignation"; but if unhappily that is the case, we can only placidly remark— 66 Boil on."

As an incident of the election we are told that late in the afternoon an elderly gentleman, much overcome by excitement and spirituous potations, was found, like Peter, "weeping bitterly," as he reclined on the cold, cold ground behind the Court House. "I'm an old man, gentle-men," sobbed he, "and a poor old man, and a d-d ugly old man, and I've gone and voted for Bigler!" "Well, you have done it," remarked one of the crowd, and with this expression of sympathy the unhappy old fellow was left to the stings of his conscience. A melancholy instance of misplaced attachment.

A GAME OF POKER.-An Eastern paper mentions the case of an individual in Terre Haute, Ind.,

who attacked his wife with a poker, and was arrested by a gentleman attracted by the lady's screams. Ah, the gentleman passed, the lady saw him, and called.

We carelessly threw a bucket of water from our office door the other day, the most of which fell upon an astonished Spaniard sitting upon his horse before the Colorado House. He made the brief remark "Carajo," meaning that we were courageous, and on observing his stalwart form and the ferocity of his expression and mustaches, we thought we were.

A SYLLOGISM. David was a Jew-hence, "the Harp of David" was a Jewsharp. Question-How the deuce did he sing his Psalms and play on it the same time?

We recommend this difficult question to "Dismal Jeems" for solution, the answer to be left at Barry and Patten's, directed to "Phoenix."

RETURN OF THE EDITOR

"Te Deum Laudamus."-Judge Ames has returned. With the completion of this article my labors are ended; and wiping my pen on my coat-tail, and placing it behind my sinister ear, with a graceful bow and bland smile for my honored admirers, and a wink of intense meaning for my enemies, I

shall abdicate, with dignity, the "Arm-Chair," in favor of its legitimate proprietor.

By the way, this "Arm-Chair" is but a pleasant fiction of "the Judge's "-the only seat in the Herald office being the empty nail-keg which I have occupied while writing my leaders upon the inverted

sugar-box that answers the purpose of a table. But such is life. Divested of its poetry and romance, the objects of our highest admiration become mere commonplaces, like the Herald's chair and table. Many ideas which we have learned to love and reverence, from the poetry of imagination, as tables, become old sugar-boxes on close inspection and more intimate ac

quaintance. "Sic "--but I forbear that sickening and hackneyed quotation.

During the period in which I have had control over the Herald, I have endeavored to the best of my ability to amuse and interest its readers, and I can not but hope that my good-humored efforts have proved successful. If I have given offense to any by the tone of my remarks, I assure them that it has been quite unintentional, and to prove that I bear no malice I hereby accept their apologies. Certainly no one can complain of a lack of versatility in the last six numbers. Commencing as an Independent Journal, I have gradually passed through all the stages of incipient Whiggery, decided Conservatism, dignified Recantation, budding Democracy, and rampant Radicalism, and I now close the series with an entirely literary number, in which I have carefully abstained from the mention of Baldo and Wigler, I mean, Wagler and Bildo, no- never mind — as Toodles says, I haven't mentioned any of 'em, but been careful to preserve a perfect armed neutrality. The paper this week will be found particularly stupid. This is the result of deep design on my part; had I attempted anything remarkably brilliant, you would all have detected it, and said, probably with truth: Ah, this is Phoenix's last appearance; he has tried to be very funny, and has made a miserable.

failure of it. Hee! hee! hee! Oh, no, my Public, an ancient weasel may not be detected in the act of slumber in that manner. I was well aware of all this, and have been as dull and prosy as possible to avoid it. Very little news will be found in the Herald this week: the fact is, there never is much news in it, and it is very well that it is so; the climate here is so delightful, that residents, in the enjoyment of their dolce far niente, care very little about what is going on elsewhere, and residents in other places care very little about what is going on in San Diego, so all parties are likely to be gratified with the little paper, "and long may it wave."

In conclusion, I am gratified to be able to state that Johnny's office (the fighting department) for the last six weeks has been a sinecure, and with the exception of the atrocious conduct of one miscreant, who was detected very early one morning in the act of chalking A s s on our office door, and who was dismissed with a harmless kick, and a gentle admonition that he should not write his name on other persons' property, our course has been peaceful, and undisturbed by any expression of an unpleasant nature.

So, farewell Public, I hope you will do well; I do, upon my soul. This leader is ended, and if there be any man among you who thinks he could write a better one, let him try it, and if he succeeds, I shall