"Heavens, what an ass!" I muttered,
"Not before to think of that!"-
And again I rushed excited
To the rail, without a hat.

"Mandolina! Mandolina!"

When her house I reached, I cried: "Pardon, dearest love!" she answered"I'm the Russian Consul's bride !"

Thus, by Muscovite barbarian,

And by Fate, my life was crossed; Wonder ye I start at shadows? Types of Mandolina lost.

THE RETORT.

GEORGE P. MORRIS.

OLD Nick, who taught the village school,

Wedded a maid of homespun habit;

He was stubborn as a mule,

She was playful as a rabbit.

Poor Jane had scarce become a wife,

Before her husband sought to make her

The pink of country-polished life,

And prim and formal as a Quaker.

One day the tutor went abroad,

And simple Jenny sadly missed him;

When he returned, behind her lord

She slyly stole, and fondly kissed him!

The husband's anger rose!--and red
And white his face alternate grew !

"Less freedom, ma'am !"-Jane sighed and said,

Oh, dear! I did n't know 't was you !”

SATIRICAL.

SATIRICAL.

THE RABBLE: OR, WHO PAYS?

How various and innumerable

SAMUEL BUTLER.

Are those who live upon the rabble!
'Tis they maintain the Church and State,
Employ the priest and magistrate;
Bear all the charge of government,

And pay the public fines and rent;
Defray all taxes and excises,

And impositions of all prices;

Bear all th' expense of peace and war,
And pay the pulpit and the bar;
Maintain all churches and religions,
And give their pastors exhibitions;
And those who have the greatest flocks
Are primitive and orthodox;
Support all schismatics and sects,
And pay them for tormenting texts;
Take all their doctrines off their hands,
And pay 'em in good rents and lands;
Discharge all costly offices,

The doctor's and the lawyer's fees,
The hangman's wages, and the scores
Of caterpillar bawds and whores;
Discharge all damages and costs
Of Knights and Squires of the Post;
All statesmen, cut-purses, and padders,
And pay for all their ropes and ladders;
All pettifoggers, and all sorts
Of markets, churches, and of courts;

All sums of money paid or spent,
With all the charges incident,

Laid out, or thrown away, or given

To purchase this world, Hell or Heaven.

THE CHAMELEON.

MATTHEW PRIOR.

As the Chameleon who is known
To have no colors of its own:
But borrows from his neighbor's hue
His white or black, his green or blue;
And struts as much in ready light,
Which credit gives him upon sight:
As if the rainbow were in tail
Settled on him, and his heirs male;

So the young squire, when first he comes
From country school to Will or Tom's:
And equally, in truth is fit

To be a statesman or a wit;
Without one notion of his own,
He saunters wildly up and down;
Till some acquaintance, good or bad,
Takes notice of a staring lad;
Admits him in among the gang:

They jest, reply, dispute, harangue ;
He acts and talks, as they befriend him,

Smear'd with the colors which they lend him.
Thus merely, as his fortune chances,

His merit or his vice advances.

If haply he the sect pursues,
That road and comment upon news;
He takes up their mysterious face:
He drinks his coffee without lace.
This week his mimic tongue runs o'er.
What they have said the week before;
His wisdom sets all Europe right,
And teaches Marlborough when to fight.
Or if it be his fate to meet

With folks who have more wealth than wit: