CUPID AND MERCURY, OR THE BARGAIN. Sly Cupid late with Maia's son Agreed to live as friend and brother; In proof, his bow and shafts the one Chang'd for the well-fill'd purse of t'other. And now, the transfer duly made, Together through the world they rove; FRITZ. Quoth gallant Fritz, "I ran away ON DORILIS. That Dorilis thus, on her lap as he lies, Should kiss little Pompey, excites no surprise; But the lapdog whom thus she keeps fondling and praising, Licks her face in return-that I own is amazing! TO A SLOW WALKER AND QUICK EATER. So slowly you walk, and so quickly you eat, You should march with your mouth, and devour with your feet. ON TWO BEAUTIFUL ONE-EYED SISTERS. Give up one eye, and make your sister's two, THE PER-CONTRA, OR MATRIMONIAL BALANCE. How strange, a deaf wife to prefer! True, but she's also dumb, good sir. EPIGRAMS S. T. COLERIDGE. ΑΝ EXPECTORATIΟΝ, Or Splenetic Extempore, on my joyful departure from the city of Cologne. As I am rhymer, And now, at least, a merry one, Mr. Mum's Rudesheimer, And the church of St. Geryon, Are the two things alone, That deserve to be known, In the body-and-soul-stinking town of Cologne. EXPECTORATION THE SECOND. In Clon, the town of monks and bones, Ye nymphs that reign o'er sewers and sinks, Doth wash your city of Cologne. But tell me, nymphs, what power divine TO A LADY, Offended by a sportive observation that women have no souls. Nay, dearest Anna, why so grave? I said you had no soul, 'tis true, For what you are you can not have; 'Tis I that have one since I first had you. AVARO. [STOLEN FROM LESSING.] There comes from old Avaro's grave BEELZEBUB AND JOB. Sly Beelzebub took all occasions But cunning Satan did not take his spouse. But Heaven, that brings out good from evil, His servants, horses, oxen, cows- SENTIMENTAL. The rose that blushes like the morn, And so dost thou, sweet infant corn, But on the rose there grows a thorn, AN ETERNAL POEM. Your poem must eternal be, Dear sir, it can not fail, For 'tis incomprehensible, And wants both head and tail. BAD POETS. Swans sing before they die-'t were no bad thing, Did certain persons die before they sing. TO MR. ALEXANDRE, THE VENTRILOQUIST. SIR WALTER SCOTT. Of yore, in Old England, it was not thought good, To carry two visages under one hood: What should folks say to you? who have faces so plenty, Or are you, at once, each live thing in the house ? THE SWALLOWS. R. BRINSLEY SHERIDAN. The Prince of Wales came into Brooke's one day, and complained of cold, but after drinking three glasses of brandy and water, said he felt comfortable. THE prince came in and said 't was cold, Then put to his head the rummer, Till swallow after swallow came, When he pronounced it summer. FRENCH AND ENGLISH. THE French have taste in all they do, ERSKINE. EPIGRAMS BY THOMAS MOORE. TO SIR HUDSON LOWE. SIR Hudson Lowe, Sir Hudson Low As thou art fond of persecutions, When thrown among the Lilliputians. They tied him down--these little men did-- Upon the Mighty Man's protuberance, To see their pigmy pride's exuberance! And how the doughty mannikins And needles in the great man's breeches ; That pass'd for Lords, on scaffoldings Got up and worried him with speeches. Alas! alas! that it should happen DIALOGUE BETWEEN A CATHOLIC DELEGATE AND HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE DUKE OF CUMBERLAND. Said his Highness to NED, with that grim face of his, "Why refuse us the Veto, dear Catholic NEDDY ?"'Because, sir,” said NED, looking full in his phiz, "You're forbidding enough, in all conscience, already!" |