this Style that Tacitus talks like a Coffce-house Politician, Jofephus like the British Gazetteer, Tully is as fhort and as fmart as Seneca or Mr. Afgill, Marcus Aurelius is excellent at Snipfnap, and honest Thomas à Kempis as Prim and Polite as any preacher at court. 3. The ALAMODE Style, which is fine by being new, and has this happinefs attending it, that it is as durable and extenfive as the poem itself. itfelf. Take fome examples of it, in the defcription of the Sun in a Mourning coach the death of Queen Mary. upon See Phœbus now, as once for Phaeton, Has mafk'd his face, and put deep Mourning on; Of Prince Arthur's Soldiers drinking. Whilerich Burgundian wine, and bright Champaign Chafe from their minds the terrors of the main. (whence we alfo learn, that Burgundy and Champaign make a man on fhore defpife a ftorm at fea.) Of the Almighty encamping his Regiments. He funk a vast capacious deep, Where he his liquid Regiments does keep, • Amb. Philips. Blackm. Pf. civ. p. 261. P Pr. Arthur, p. 16. Thither the waves file off, and make their way, Where they encamp, and in their station ftand. Of two Armies on the point of engaging. All perfectly agreeable to the present Customs and best Fashions of our Metropolis. But the principal branch of the Alamode is the PRURIENT, a Style greatly advanced and honoured of late by the practice of Persons of the firft Quality; and by the encouragement of the Ladies, not unfuccessfully introduced even into the Drawing-room. Indeed its incredible Progrefs and Conquefts may be compared to those of the great Sefoftris, and are every where known by the fame Marks, the images of the genital parts of men or women. It confifts wholly of metaphors drawn from two most fruitful sources or fprings, the very Bathos of the human body, that is to fay * ** and * Hiatus magnus lachrymabilis. * * ** * And felling of Bargains, and double Entendre, and Κιβέρισμος and Ὀλδριέλδισμος, all derived from the faid fources. Lee, Sophon. 4. The FINICAL Style, which confifts of the most curious, affected, inincing metaphors, and partakes of the alamode. S τ X As this, of a Brook dry'd by the Sun. • Won by the fummer's importuning ray, Of an easy Death. When watchful death fhall on his harvest look, Of Trees in a Storm. Oaks whofe extended arms the winds defy, Of Water fimmering over the Fire. The fparkling flames raife water to a Smile, 5. LASTLY, I fhall place the CUMBROUS, which moves heavily under a load of metaphors, and draws after it a long train of words. And the BUSKIN, or Stately, frequently and with great felicity mixed with the former. For as the first is the proper engine to depress what is Blackm. Job, p. 26. " Denn. t Ibid. p. 23. high, fo is the second to raise what is bafe and low to a ridiculous Vifibility: When both thefe can be done at once, then is the Bathos in perfection; as when a man is fet with his head downward, and his breech upright, his degradation is compleat: One end of him is as high as ever, only that end is the wrong one. Will not every true lover of the Profund be delighted to behold the most vulgar and low actions of life exalted in the following manner? Who knocks at the Door? For whom thus rudely pleads my loud-tongu'd gate, W See who is there? Advance the fringed curtains of thy eyes, Shut the Door. The wooden guardian of our privacy Bring my Cloaths. Bring me what Nature, taylor to the Bear, Light the Fire. Bring forth fome remnant of Promethean theft, w Temp. x Snuff the Candle. Yon Luminary amputation needs, Wax! render up thy trust.— Uncork the Bottle, and chip the Bread. CHA P. XIII. A Project for the Advancement of the TH Bathos. HUS have I (my dear Countrymen) with incredible pains and diligence, difcovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may fay, broke open the Abyffes of this Great Deep. And having now established good and wholefome Laws, what remains but that all true moderns with their utmost might do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I fhall in the second place highly deserve of my Country, by propofing fuch a Scheme, as may facilitate this great end. Theob. Double Falfhood. |