Quashee, that his intention was not in strict conformity to the laws of chivalry, but it cannot be denied that this was the true Machiavelian policy. Fortunately, however, the seconds, who had been considerably alarmed for their personal safety by the first shot, succeeded in preventing further bloodshed, representing to Quashee that his well earned laurels would fall from his brow, were he to attack his fallen enemy. Quashee, who feared that such another opportunity might never again occur, was very reluctant to comply, growling like a hungry lion, when his prey has escaped from his relent less grasp. Sambo's wound was not mortal. Neither party was satisfied, though both were probably willing to avoid another engagement. Sambo contended that he had not an equal chance, not having had a dram during the whole morning, while Quashee had been stuffing his skin with numerous potations of peach brandy; besides, he was constantly rubbing his hands and face with a pocket handkerchief steeped in gunpowder and whiskey. This accusation Quashee indignantly repelled, taking it for a direct assault upon his reputation for courage. He stated upon his honour that the handkerchief had been borrowed from Miss Dinah, and that it was only perfumed with burgamot, to counteract any noxious effluvia, that might be occasioned by the contest; that Sambo, in making such an assertion, proved himself "no gentleman." Quashee regretted very much that he had condescended to fight with a man of such a character; but that if Mungo, the second of Sambo, would furnish incontestible evidence, that he was himself a gentleman, Quashee would have no objection to give him a shot. The correspondence between the parties would have been sent herewith, but a school-master in the neighbourhood has consented to give it a polish, the partiesnot being very conversant in those matters, or a meeting, no doubt, would have been avoided. The correspondence will fully evince that honour and sensibility are confined to no situation or colour. 66 Reputation-that's man's idol, "Set up 'gainst God, the maker of all laws, P "Who has commanded us we shall not kill BEN JOHNSON. N. B. Sambo is "is perfectly comfortable and doing well." XX. GULLING. [Observer. Salem.] "I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it; knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence." SHAK.-MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. THE Custom of dedicating any article of sale, or invention, to those, who have been pleased to patronize it by their gracious approbation, which so generally prevails within the precincts of a royal court, seldom fails of incurring our ridicule. When we see it officially announced, that Mr. A. is appointed a peruke-maker to his majesty, and Mr. B. by special permission, is to be maker of lozenges, and caudle-provider to her serene highness, we deem it our prerogative to smile on the occasion. We do not consider that there are many of our own peculiarities equally open to ridicule, and which have not even the shadow of an apology for their support. The rights and privileges of royal patronage seem, in some degree, essential to the parade, if not existence, of his court. But with all their farcical display of patronage, the advertisements of the English courtdependants are not, in this respect, more ridiculous, than many of those puffing credentials, which our own learned men so indiscriminately bestow on every thing submitted to their inspection. The inventor of a threshing machine, or a new theory of the earth, of improved blacking or improved grammar, a compounder of systems, or a compounder of pills, have each a peculiar patron, selected for his literary titles, to whom a public reference is made for the qualities ascribed to the subject of invention. It would seem, that a certificate of approbation from an A.M. LL.D. or D.D. was absolutely essential to a smooth chin, or a good cup of coffee. If it is so, then farewell to the en joyment of our morning pleasures. We often indulge ourselves with a full bowl of cafe du Bourbon, and it is with no small degree of gout, that we imbibe its savoury elements; but alas, this innocent enjoyment is now to be withheld from us; our coffee is not Columbian, and therefore it cannot claim the recommendation of the governour. We frequently pay a morning visit to the knight of the comb and razor, to obtain relief from that torment of manhood, a beard; but now, the bristled sedge must flourish unshorn in spite of the " magnum bonum" and "Dutch rattler," for they are not edged on "Pomeroy's improved strap," so warmly recommended by a college professor. If physic is necessary for our bodily comforts, it must first be approved by the learned judges of the land, who deem it no derogation from their honours, to become the patrons of a pill box. They leave the bench, to judge their drops and pills, What, a governour to descend from the chair of state, to assume the office of herald to a coffee vender!-a judge to decide on the merits of a pill! and a learned professor to enroll his name on the mortal tablet of a razor-strap case! These separate offices seem, in our humble apprehension, so utterly incompatible with each other, that we should consider it impossible for them to be faithfully administered by the same person. It is true, that in the paucity of dramatis personæ, of a village theatre, we have seen buskined royalty disguised in a candle snuffer, and a cidevant princess reduced to her proper person, a chambermaid. But surely, amidst the varieties of character, that may be found in the community, there can be no necessity for our governours, judges, and professors to become the genii of domestic coffeemakers, pill-compounders, and barber's blocks. We are willing to trust either of those gentlemen, in recommending any work belonging to their peculiar departments, but in the mysteries of the kitchen, mortar or pestle, or barber's trade, we hope it will not be deemed derogatory to their character, if we do suggest doubts of their being competent standards of public opin ion, Certain we are, that our coffee, especially if do mestic, would not be a whit more palatable from the circumstance, that a governour has publickly recommended it; and we should hardly rely with more confidence on the efficacy of that sovereign specific, for all maladies, a pill, because a judge has pronounced a judgement in its favour, and we should anticipate no smoother chin, from a razor rubbed, secundum artem, on a college professor's favourite strap. This system, of puffing by authority, is mere gulling. Names of distinguished men are used for the purpose of securing the sale of any article in the market, with as little ceremony, as a sportsman would use in springing woodcocks. Be it a washing machine, or a cooking apparatus, a steam engine or improved rat-trap, some name of eminence must be subscribed to its "probatum est," or its public utility will never be duly valued. There is another custom which is, in some degree, assimilated to this, and which seems quite as ridiculous; we mean the rendering, to the ex-presidents of the United states, annual tithes of the first fruits, that are forced by a July sun, and ardent temperament, from young professional scions. These premature productions are generally too insipid, and can never be preserved in a fit state to suit such delicate palates. The exemption of all letters and addresses, to these honourable gentlemen from post charges, has often times proved a luckless act for their patience. Congress could not have anticipated the perversion of their frank, to a passport for the numerous orations, that are annually engendered by the warmth of July and liberty, or it certainly would have made some provision, against this imposition on the people's pockets, and the ex-presidents' patience. Indeed, this custom seems to us, like "carrying coals to Newcastle;" and we hope, it will be carefully avoided by all future orators, who may be called on, in course, to spout the flames of liberty, and blood of revolutiona ry patriots, till their history shall cease to be outraged by an incorrect recital. Truths would you teach to save a sinking land, All fear, none aid you, and few understand. I HAVE often felt a strong degree of sympathy for those unfortunate individuals who are obliged to delve in the mire of popularity for subsistence, or even for amusement. The task of pleasing every body is attended with a thousand circumstances of difficulty, of hazard, and of mortification, which, to a mind at all affected by outward events, are peculiarly painful and wearisome. If your attempts miscarry, you have your labour for your pains, and no thanks for your good will; should success crown one experiment, you are not insured against a failure of the next--and thus a succession of anxious hopes or trying fears, of humiliating discomfitures or doubtful rewards, is the certain portion of all those who have the temerity to aim at serving what is called the "public in general." The class of public servants most exposed to these capricious casualties, is composed of authors and editors -of those who write, and those who publish works calculated for the immediate perusal of their masters, the community; and subject to be handled by characters of all descriptions-to be turned over and over-to be picked, garbled and smelled at by every pudding-witted oaf, as well as by that rare phenomenon, the candid critic. A partial illustration of these facts was afforded me not long since. My niece, Miss Lavinia Laurelia Leath erlip, dropped in at my study the other afternoon, attended by three top-knotted ladies in full convoy. Miss Lavinia is not yet an old maid, for she has been only twenty-nine these ten years-her companions are ditto, all having been brought out during the last century, and belonging to "the class of 1799." After exchanging questions about each other's health, without waiting for answers, and informing each other that the weather was pleasant, but rather dry, the next topic in course related to the newspaper. Upon my |