Luth. Three great virtues, which, in my opinion, far outface what Papifts are. fo tenacious, and pride themselves upon, Faith, Hope and Charity.

Hoft. I find your Reverence, God be praised, is a Genevan, my own country-man.

Luth. You lie; How dare you grovel me in fo pitylefs degree, an English divine reduced to a Genevan Minifter.

Hoft. I beg your pardon; but you do not know the defpicable and uncouth degreee you hold in all true Proteftant communities. You are Baftard-Papifts.

Luth. I am, Sirrah, as a true-born Englishman, of no account with a hungry belly; give me one hour to give a proper account of this. Mince-flew, when I fhall be able, I hope, to furnifh you and family with fpiritual food. Give me fome drink, you bumkin, quick. Your favoury meat is delicious but exceeding faucy,' choice, dainty, tender, fmooth, pure, rare, nice, fweet, pleafant, charming, compofed, and replete with the full-fraught, fulgent, and dazzling brightnefs of Paradife. O fweet heavenly Sion, my heart's defire, what more can an immortal foul require, the fulness of all fulness. O Adam, how did you fall, and Luther rife, enchafed, careffed, fondled, inebriated, and made drunk, O you Gods and Goddeffes: your nectar never will inebriate and make fat, as I appear this inftant, with the delight of my foul, this favoury and most exquifite fmells as the odoriferous, fragrant, and never-to be forgotten Scripture odor and fweet

per

perfame that iffued and difplayed delicious fweets in Rachael's noftrils, tempting her lovely eyes, and captivating her tender heart, fhe is loft in the bed of rich perfumes, as you fee me, 'cries out in extacy to Leah, Give me mandrakes, and take my deareft prize, Jacob, my darling. O them dear languishing eyes of beauteous Rachel ; the thought fills my deluded foul with foft delights; What means the wifh? Did you put any thing more in the delight of my foul than what I ordered; I find myself infpired with extacies of a refined and spiritual excellence, exciting a paffion, which, though vain, prompts me to fufpect the addition of Ambrofia. I am loft in the bed of amorous delights.

Hoft. There has been no addition more than what was abfolutely neceffary to qualify, if poffible, and in fome fort ftifle the unparalled, naufeous, difgufting, fickly, unpalatable, filthy, unmannerly, and peftilential effluvia, which rendered my houfe a peft-hofpital; family and ftrangers have been yawning and reaching their hearts out fince the death-fmell entered the kitchen. I have been obliged to throw a bottle of vinegar about the house to destroy the putrid fimell, and I added to the Mince-ftew, a pint of Canary, and glafs of old Holland Geneva, three heads of garlick, one onion, and a quarter of ground mustard. But your Reverence will take notice, no fuch venemous, poisonous, noxious, deftructive, mischievous, peftiferous, deftructive, and malignant pipkin will ever be prepared in my houfe in future. So be it.

Luth,

Luth. Rafcallion, Fellow, Scoundrel, Villain, worthlefs, vile, low, dirty, nafly, fpiteful. implacable, malicious and uncouth monfter, where, or in what line were you trained, to find fault and gain-fay the nofegay of princely nobility. O yon Genevan pig, Scaramouch, motely buffoon, and unfashionable Calviniitical prude; Ambrofia the life-giving, with cordial nectar, the fole, inebriating, ineffable and celeftial folace, cheer, alleviation and delight of the Gods and Goddeffes to be contemned and held in derifion by you Screechowl, pufs, uncivilized backbiter, and uncircumci fed plebeian, dare you touch. on the laws of refinement.

Hoft. None fuch dog's or crow's carrion fhall enter my house in future, and, if your Reverence pleafes, I fhall be glad to have your bill difcharged

to-morrow.

Luth. Scullion, What may your demands be?

Hoft. A very trifle; as your feeding have been chielly (the brawn and a few trifles excepted) what fhould be thrown to the crows: I never will in future.confent or permit fuch indecency in my kitchen; I muft therefore, infilt on your removal, or live like a Gentleman.

Luth. You certainly entertain none of our English nobility, who cannot digeft, or think it confonant with true nobility, to grace a bit, until it has hung about one month down the privy, if poffible, or fome place apart, where the flies and other communicative infects might drefs it, by drawing out and digefting the vulgar juices, and

depo

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depofiting their eggs and trail, in return, into the fmall tubes, pipes or fiphons, prepared by thefe angelic and molt exquifite confectioners.

Hoft. None fuch crows fhall fealt on carrion in y houfe; but fuppofe it fo, you have no pretenfions to nobility.

my

Luth. Sirrah, I am of high extraction, of the moft fublime fpiritual nobility.

Hoft. Explain yourself, if you pleafe,

Luth. My primitive, firt Grandfire, from whole days I have fucked my nobility, whofe mark in baptifm (Luther, I am honoured with, is confidered by the children of God, as the pri-. mogenial and great champion of Christendom, the great Sun that in thefe latter days have illuminated our earth.

Hoft. If you hold your nobility from wormeaten ancestry, you become a pifmire.

age,

Luth. If Luther had lived in an heathen he would have been honoured as a divinity. Hoft. His actions, that has reached us, bespeak him heathen and not chriftian.

Luth. You can make no difpute against my relation's nobility, Doctor Tillotson, late great Primate of all England, whofe Chair of State I purpofe filling, when vacant, by heirfhip.

Hoft. A Calvinift confiders the race of Luther as baftard papifts, unworthy notice.

Luth. You are truly of the breed of Calvin, the most stiff-necked, and flint-hearted crew that the Lutherans ever had to do with. I have now finished my mince-stew. What is your next dainty? What is that?

E

Hoft.

ཛཱ་ཝཱ།

Hoft. The pottage you ordered. The ingre dients are a green goard fliced, rofemary, wild lettuce, one quarter pound anchovies, rice, with other herbs of various kinds, a German sausage; all ftirred until it becomes one pafte, as you fee. with half a fmoked goofe in the centre, fauled with a pint of brandy.

Luth. You are a faithful cook; I wish I was a Calvinian, how you would feed me! It beats every thing; it is really fine. I would have you. keep yourfelf in readiness, free from all engage.. mments, and I give you the folemn promile of my.

ifhopric, that you fhall enter mafter-cook, commencing from the first day of my nuptials. I will allo raile you and your family, by placing them in different departments of the care of what is to fupply the cookery; one a pig driver; another fheep-keeper; your wife hen-huffy, and so on; and if any fpare-fragments, you fhall have them for your hire.

Hoft. Sir, I fhall give in my in my account to-mar row, and will be paid.

Luth. I purpofe ftaying fome weeks longer, in which time I shall be punctual, one hour every morning, to inftruct you and family, explaining our fublime doctrine as by law eftablished, which will make you proficients by the time I fhall be Metropolitan, and feated in my Throne; befides this grace, I will give you the moft lucky, good and fortunate legacy, that will not only put you above want, but will raffe fortunes to each of you, which is this Common Prayer-book. The value is goo pounds hard Englith fterling, annu

ally.