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LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST.
Moth. No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your love, perhaps, a hackney. But have you forgot your love?
Arm. Almost I had.
Moth. Negligent student! learn her by heart.
Moth. And out of heart, master: all those three
Arm. What wilt thou prove?
Moth. A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon the instant: By heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by her in heart you love her, because your heart is in love with her; and out of heart you love her, being out of heart that you cannot enjoy her.
Arm. I am all these three.
Moth. And three times as much more, and yet
Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose befat.-
Moth. By saying that a Costard was broken in a
Arm. Ha, ha! what sayest thou?
Moth. Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the
Moth. As swift as lead, sir.
Then call'd you for the l'envoy.
Cost. True, and I for a plantain: Thus came
And he ended the market.
Arm. Thy meaning, pretty ingenious?
You are too swift, sir, to say so:
Arm. But tell me; how was there a Costard broken in a shin?
Moth. I will tell
I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Arm. We will talk no more of this matter.
Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at
He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's he:-
Thump then, and I flee.
Re-enter MOTH and COSTARD.
Arm. Some enigma, some riddle: come,-thy
Cost. No egma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve
Moth. Do the wise think them other? is not
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Moth. I will add the l'envoy: Say the moral again.
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Cost. True, true; and now you will be my pur-
Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee from dur-
Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony [Exit Moth. Jew! ration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: Now will I look to his remuneration. Remunethree farthings-remuneration.-What's the price of this inkle? a penny:-No, I'll give you a remuneration: why, it carries it.-Remuneration!never buy and sell out of this word. why, it is a fairer name than French crown.
Biron. O, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met.
Cost. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon
Biron. O, why then, three-farthings worth of silk.
you Cost. Well, I will do it, sir: Fare Biron. O, thou knowest not what it is. Cost. I shall know, sir, when I have done it. Biron. Why, villain, thou must know first. Cost. I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.
Biron. It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this ;
And in her train there is a gentle lady;
When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her
And Rosaline they call her ask for her;
(Gives him money.) This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go. Cost. Guerdon,-O sweet guerdon! better than remuneration; eleven-pence farthing better: Most
sweet guerdon!-I will do it, sir, in print. Guerdon-remuneration.
Biron. O!And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip;
A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
SCENE I. Another part of the same. Enter the PRINCESS, ROSALINE, MARIA, KATHARINE, BOYET, Lords, Attendants, and a Forester. Prin. Was that the king, that spurr'd his horse so hard
Against the steep uprising of the hill?
Boyet. I know not; but, I think, it was not he. Prin. Whoe'er he was, he show'd a mounting mind.
Well, lords, to-day we shall have our despatch;
For. Here by, upon the edge of yonder coppice; A stand, where you may make the fairest shoot. Prin. I thank my beauty, I am fair, that shoot, And thereupon thou speak'st, the fairest shoot.
For. Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so. Prin. What, what? first praise me, and again say, no?
O short-liv'd pride! not fair? alack for woe!
As I, for praise alone, now seek to spill
Only for praise' sake, when they strive to be Lords o'er their lords?
Prin. Only for praise: and praise we may afford To any lady, that subdues a lord. Enter COSTARD.
Prin. Here comes a member of the commouwealth. [the head lady? Cost. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is Prin. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.
Cost. Which is the greatest lady, the highest? Prin. The thickest, and the tallest.
Cost. The thickest, and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit, One of these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit. [here. Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest Prin. What's your will, sir? what's your will? Cost. I have a letter from monsieur Biron, to one lady Rosaline. [of mine: Prin. O, thy letter, thy letter; he's a good friend Stand aside, good bearer.-Boyet, you can carve; Break up this capon. Boyet. I am bound to serve.This letter is mistook, it importeth none here; It is writ to Jaquenetta. Prin. We will read it, I swear : Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear. Boyet. (Reads.) By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible; true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that thou art lovely: More fairer than fair, beautiful than beauteous; truer than truth itself, have commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say, veni, vidi, vici; which to anatomize in the vulgar, ( O base and obscure vulgar!) videlicet, he came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw, two; overcame, three. Who came? the king; Why did he come? to see; Why did he see? to overcome: To whom came he? to the beggar; What saw he? the beggar; Who overcame he? the beggar: The conclusion is victory; On whose side? the king's: the captive is enrich'd; Ou whose side? the beggar's; The catastrophe is a nuptial; On whose side? The king's?—no, on both in one, or one in both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison: thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may: Shalt I enforce thy love? I could: Shall I entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes; For tittles, titles; For thyself, me. Thus, expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy picture, and my heart on thy every part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry, DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO. Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar 'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey; Submissive fall his princely feet before,
And he from forage will incline to play: But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then? Food for his rage, repasture for his den.
Prin. What plume of feathers is he, that indited this letter? [better? What vane? what weather-cock? did you ever hear Boyet. I am much deceived, but I remember the style. Lerewhile. Prin. Else your memory is bad, going o'er it Boyet. This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;
A phantasm, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport To the prince, and his book-mates.
Prin. Thou fellow, a word: Who gave thee this letter?
I told you; my lord. | Prin. To whom should'st thou give it? From my lord to my lady. Prin. From which lord, to which lady? Cost. From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
To a lady of France, that he call'd Rosaline.
Here, sweet, put ap this; 'twill be thine another day.
Ros. Well then, I am the shooter.
[near. Mar. You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes at the brow. [her now? Boyet. But she herself is hit lower: Have I hit Ros. Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was a man when king Pepin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it?
Boyet. So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when queen Guinever of Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it.
Ros. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it, (Singing.) Thou canst not hit it, my good man. Boyet. An I cannot, cannot, cannot, An I cannot, another can. [Exeunt Ros. and Kath. Cost. By my troth, most pleasant! how both did fit it! [both did hit it. Mar. mark marvellous well shot; for they Boyet. A mark! O, mark but that mark; Ă mark, says my lady! [be. Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may Mar. Wide o' the bow hand! I'faith your hand is out. [hit the clout. Cost. Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er Boyet. An if my hand be out, then, belike your hand is in. [the pin. Cost. Then will she get the upshot by cleaving Mar. Come, come, you talk greasily, your lips grow foul. Cost. She's too hard for you at pricks, sir; lenge her to bowl. Boyet. I fear too much rubbing; Good night, my good owl. [Exeunt Boyet and Maria. Cost. By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown! Lord, lord! how the ladies and I have put him down! O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony vulgar wit! [were, so fit. When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it Armatho o' the one side,-O, a most dainty man! To see him walk before a lady, and to bear her fan! To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a’ will swear!And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit! Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit! (Shouting within.) Sola, sola!
sweetly varied, like a scholar at the least: But, ir, I assure ye, it was a buck of the first head. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
Dull. 'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket. Hol. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, in via, in way of explication; facere, as it were, replication, or rather ostentare, to show, as it were, his inclination,-after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or, ratherest, unconfirmed fashion,-to insert again my haud credo [a pricket. Dull. I said, the deer was not a haud credo; 'twas Hol. Twice sod simplicity, bis coctus!--O thou monster ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!
for a deer.
Nath. Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts;
And such barren plants are set before us, that we thankful should be
(Which we of taste and feeling are) for those parts, that do fructify in us more than he. For, as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool, [a school: So, were there a patch set on learning, to see him in But, omne bene, say I; being of an old father's mind, Many can brook the weather, that love not the wind. Dull. You two are book-men: Can you tell by your wit
What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five weeks old as yet? [man Dull. Hol. Dictynna, good man Dull; Dietynna, good Dull. What is Dictynna? Nath. A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon. Hol. The moon was a month old, when Adam was no more; [fivescore. And raught not to five weeks, when he came to The allusion holds in the exchange.
Dull. 'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.
Hol. God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds in the exchange.
Dull. And I say the pollusion holds in the exchange; for the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside, that 'twas a pricket that the princess kill'd.
Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extempora epitaph on the death of the deer? and, to humour the ignorant, I have call'd the deer the princess chal-kill'd, a pricket.
Nath. Perge, good master Holofernes, perge; so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility.
Hol. I will something affect the letter; for it argues facility.
The praiseful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty
The dogs did yell; put I to sore, then sorel jumps
[Exit Costard, running. SCENE II.-The same. Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL. Nath. Very reverent sport, truly; and done in the testimony of a good conscience. Hol. The deer was, as you know, in sanguis,mory, blood; ripe as a pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of cœlo,-the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra,--the soil, the land, the earth.
Nath. Truly, master Holofernes, the epithets are
Dull. If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent.
Hol. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish, extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of menourished in the womb of pia mater; and deliver'd upon the mellowing of occasion: But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it.
Nath. Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my parishioners; for their sons are well tutor'd by
Jaq. Good Costard, go with me.-Sir, God save your life! Cost. Have with thee, my girl.
[Exeunt Cost. and Jaq. Nath. Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very religiously; and, as a certain father saith
you, and their daughters profit very greatly under you: you are a good member of the commonwealth. Hol. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, they shall want no instruction: if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them: But, vir sapit, qui pauca loquitur: a soul feminine saluteth us.
Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD.
Ruminat,-and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan ! I may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice: Vinegia, Vinegia,
Chi non te vede, ei non te pregia. Old Mantuan! old Mantuan! Who understandeth thee not, loves thee not.-Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or, rather, as Horace says in his-What, my soul, verses? Nath. Ay, sir, and very learned.
Hol. Let me hear a staff, a stanza, a verse; Lege, domine.
Nath. If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love? Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vowed! [prove Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like osiers bowed. [eyes; Study his bias leaves, and makes his book thine Where all those pleasures live, that art would comprehend: [suffice; If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall Well learned is that tongue, that well can thee commend: All ignorant that soul, that sees thee without wonder; (Which is to me some praise, that I thy parts admire ;) Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder, [fire.
Which, not to anger bent, is music, and sweet Celestial, as thou art, oh pardon, love, this wrong, That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly
Hol. You find not the apostrophes, and so miss the accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret. Ovidius Naso was the man: and why indeed, Naso; but for smelling out the odoriferous flowers of fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari, is nothing: so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper, the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin, was this directed to you?
Jaq. Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange queen's lords.
Hol. I will overglance the superscript. To the snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline. I will look again on the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party written unto.
Your Ladyship's in all desired employment, BIRON. Sir Nathaniel, this Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger queen's, which, accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried.-Trip and go, my sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the king; it may concern much: Stay not thy compliment; I forgive thy duty; adien.
Hol. Sir, tell not me of the father, I do fear colourable colours. But, to return to the verses; Did they please you, sir Nathaniel?
Nath. Marvellous well for the pen.
Hol. I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil of mine; where if, before repast, it shall please you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned, neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I beseech your society.
Nath. And thank you too: for society, (saith the text,) is the happiness of life.
Hol. And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.-Sir, (to Dull) I do invite you too; you shall not say me, nay: pauca verba.-Away; the gentles are at game, and we will to our recreation. [Exeunt.
SCENE III.-Another part of the same.
Biron. The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself: they have pitch'd a toil; I am toiling in a pitch; pitch, that defiles; defile! a foul word. Well, Set thee down, sorrow! for so, they say, the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as Ajax it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep: Well proved again on my side! I will not love: if I do, hang me; i'faith, I will not. O, but her eye, by this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love and it hath taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme, and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my sonnets already; the clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin, if the other three were in: Here comes one with a paper; God give him grace to groan. (Gets up into a tree.)
Enter the King, with a paper. King. Ah me!
Biron. (Aside.) Shot by heaven!- Proceed, sweet Cupid; thou hast thump'd him with thy birdbolt under the left pap:-I'faith secrets.
King. (Reads.) So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not
To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,
Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
So ridest thou triumphing in my woe;
And they thy glory through my grief will show: But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep My tears for glasses, and still make me weep. O queen of queens, how far dost thou excel!" No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.— How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper; Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here? (Steps aside.) Enter LONGAVILLE, with a paper. What, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear.
LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST.
(Aside.) Biron. Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!
Long. Ah me! I am forsworn.
Biron. Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing
Long. I fear, these stubborn lines lack power to
This same shall go.(He reads the sonnet.) Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye (Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,) Persuade my heart to this false perjury?
Vows, for thee broke, deserve not punishment. A woman I forswore; but, I will prove,
Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee: My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;
Thy grace, being gain'd, cures all disgrace in me. Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is:
Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine, Exhal'st this vapour vow; in thee it is:
If broken then, it is no fault of mine;
Dum. On a day, (alack the day!)
And deny himself for Jove,
This will I send; and something else more plain,
Biron. (Aside.) This is the liver vein, which
A green goose, a goddess: pure, pure idolatry.
Long. Dumain, (advancing) thy love is far from
That in love's grief desir'st society:
King. Come, sir, (advancing) you blush; as his
You chide at him, offending twice as much;
Enter DUMAIN, with a paper.
Long. By whom shall I send this?-Company!
Dam. As upright as the cedar.
Biron. Ay, as some days; but then no sun must
Dum. O that I had my wish!
(Descends from the tree.)
Dum. I would forget her; but a fever she
Dum. Once more I'll read the ode that I have
(Aside.) Biron. Once more I'll mark how love can vary