Moth. Negligent student! learn her by heart. Moth. And out of heart, master: all those three I will prove. Arm. What wilt thou prove? Moth. A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon the instant: By heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by her: in heart you love her, because your heart is in love with her; and out of heart you love her, being out of heart that you cannot enjoy her. Arm. I am all these three. Moth. And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all. [a letter. Arm. Fetch hither the swain; he must carry me Moth. A message well sympathized; a horse to be embassador for an ass! Arm. Ha, ha! what sayest thou? Moth. Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse, for he is very slow-gaited: But I go. Arm. The way is but short; away. Moth. As swift as lead, sir. Arm. Thy meaning, pretty ingenious? Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow? Thump then, and I flee. [Exit. Arm. A most acute juvenal; voluble and free of grace! [face: By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place. My herald is return'd. Re-enter MOTH and COSTARD. Moth. A wonder, master; here's a Costard broken in a shin. Arm. Some enigma, some riddle: come,-thy l'envoy ;-begin. Cost. No egma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain; no l'envoy, no l'envoy, no salve, sir, but a plantain! Arm. By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly thought, my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling: O, pardon me, my stars! Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and the word, envoy, for a salve? Moth. Do the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve? [make plain Arm. No,page: it is an epilogue or discourse, to Some obscure precedence, that hath tofore been sain. I will example it: The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee, Were still at odds, being but three. There's the moral: Now the l'envoy. Moth. I will add the l'envoy: Say the moral again. Arm. The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee, Were still at odds, being but three: Moth. Until the goose came out of door, And stay'd the odds by adding four. Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with my l'envoy. The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee, Were still at odds, being but three: Arm. Until the goose came out of door, Staying the odds by adding four. Moth. A good l'envoy, ending in the goose: Would you desire more? Cost. The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat: Sir,your pennyworth is good, an your goose befat.To sell a bargain well, is as cunning as fast and loose : Let me see a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose. Arm. Come hither, come hither: How did this argument begin? Moth. By saying that a Costard was broken in a shin. Then call'd you for the l'envoy. Cost. True, and I for a plantain: Thus came your argument in ; Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought; Arm. But tell me; how was there a Costard broken in a shin? Moth. I will tell you sensibly. Cost. Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth! I will speak that l'envoy. I, Costard, running out, that was safely within, Arm. We will talk no more of this matter. Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, bound. Cost. True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose. Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this: Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta: there is remuneration; (giving him money) for the best ward of mine honour is, rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow. [Exit. Moth. Like the sequel, I.-Signior Costard, adieu. Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew! [Exit Moth. Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three farthings-remuneration.-What's the price of this inkle? a penny:-No, I'll give you a remuneration: why, it carries it.-Remuneration!— why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word. Enter BIRON. Biron. O, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met. Cost. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration? Biron. What is a remuneration? Cost. When would you have it done, sir? Cost. Well, I will do it, sir: Fare you well. Biron. It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this ; The princess comes to hunt here in the park, sweet guerdon!-I will do it, sir, in print. Guerdon-remuneration. [Exit. Biron. O!—And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip; A very beadle to a humorous sigh; This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy; And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop! ACT IV. SCENE I.-Another part of the same. Enter the PRINCESS, ROSALINE, MARIA, KATHARINE, BOYET, Lords, Attendants, and a Forester. Prin. Was that the king, that spurr'd his horse so hard Against the steep uprising of the hill? Boyet. I know not; but, I think, it was not he. Prin. Whoe'er he was, he show'd a mounting mind. Well, lords, to-day we shall have our despatch; Prin. I thank my beauty, I am fair, that shoot, And thereupon thou speak'st, the fairest shoot. For. Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so. Prin. What, what? first praise me, and again say, no? O short-liv'd pride! not fair? alack for woe! A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.- When, for fame's sake, for praise, an outward part, As I, for praise alone, now seek to spill reignty Only for praise' sake, when they strive to be Prin. Only for praise: and praise we may afford Prin. Here comes a member of the commouwealth. [the head lady? Cost. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is Prin. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads. Cost. Which is the greatest lady, the highest? Prin. The thickest, and the tallest. Cost. The thickest, and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth. be fit. An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit, lady Rosaline. Prin. We will read it, I swear : Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear. Boyet. (Reads.) By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible; true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that thou art lovely: More fairer than fair, beautiful than beauteous; truer than truth itself, have commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say, veni, vidi, vici; which to anatomize in the vulgar, ( O base and obscure vulgar!) videlicet, he came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw, two; overcame, three. Who came? the king; Why did he come? to see; Why did he see? to overcome: To whom came he? to the beggar; What saw he? the beggar; Who overcame he? the beggar: The conclusion is victory; On whose side? the king's: the captive is enrich'd; Ou whose side? the beggar's; The catastrophe is a nuptial; On whose side? The king's?-no, on both in one, or one in both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison: thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may: Shalt I enforce thy love? I could: Shall I entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes; For tiltles, titles; For thyself, me. Thus, expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy picture, and my heart on thy every part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry, DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO. Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar 'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey; Submissive fall his princely feet before, And he from forage will incline to play: But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then? Food for his rage, repasture for his den. Prin. What plume of feathers is he, that indited this letter? [better? What vane? what weather-cock? did you ever hear Boyet. I am much deceived, but I remember the Lerewhile. Prin. Else your memory is bad, going o'er it Boyet. This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps style. here in court; A phantasm, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport Cost. Cost. I told you; my lord. | Prin. To whom should'st thou give it? From my lord to my lady. Prin. From which lord, to which lady? Cost. From my lord Biron, a good master of mine, To a lady of France, that he call'd Rosaline. Here, sweet, put up this; 'twill be thine another day. Why, she that bears the bow. Ros. Well then, I am the shooter. Boyet. And who is your deer? Ros. If we choose by the horns, yourself: come Finely put on, indeed![near. Mar. You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes at the brow. [her now? Boyet. But she herself is hit lower: Have I hit Ros. Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was a man when king Pepin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it? Boyet. So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when queen Guinever of Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it. Ros. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it, (Singing.) Thou canst not hit it, my good man. Boyet. An 1 cannot, cannot, cannot, An I cannot, another can. [Exeunt Ros. and Kath. Cost. By my troth, most pleasant! how both did fit it! [both did hit it. Mar. A mark marvellous well shot; for they Boyet. A mark! O, mark but that mark; Å mark, says my lady! [be. Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may Mar. Wide o' the bow hand! I'faith your hand [hit the clout. Cost. Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er Boyet. An if my hand be out, then, belike your hand is in. [the pin. Cost. Then will she get the upshot by cleaving Mar. Come, come, you talk greasily, your lips grow foul. is out. Cost. She's too hard for you at pricks, sir; challenge her to bowl. Boyet. I fear too much rubbing; Good night, my good owl. [Exeunt Boyet and Maria. Cost. By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown! Lord, lord! how the ladies and I have put him down! O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony vulgar wit! [were, so fit. When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it Armatho o' the one side,-O, a most dainty man! To see him walk before a lady, and to bear her fan! To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a' will swear! And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit! Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit! (Shouting within.) Sola, sola! [Exit Costard, running. SCENE II.-The same. Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL. Nath. Very reverent sport, truly; and done in the testimony of a good conscience. Hol. The deer was, as you know, in sanguis, blood; ripe as a pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of cœlo,-the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra,-the soil, the land, the earth. Nath. Truly, master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied, like a scholar at the least: But, ir, I assure ye, it was a buck of the first head. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo. Dull. 'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket. Hol. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, in via, in way of explication; facere, as it were, replication, or rather ostentare, to show, as it were, his inclination,-after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or, ratherest, unconfirmed fashion,-to insert again my haud credo for a deer. [a pricket. Dull. I said, the deer was not a haud credo; 'twas Hol. Twice sod simplicity, bis coctus!-O thou monster ignorance, how deformed dost thou look! Nath. Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts; And such barren plants are set before us, that we thankful should be (Which we of taste and feeling are) for those parts, that do fructify in us more than he. For, as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool, [a school: So, were there a patch set on learning, to see him in But, omne bene, say I; being of an old father's mind, Many can brook the weather, that love not the wind. Dull. You two are book-men: Can you tell by your wit What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five weeks old as yet? [man Dull. Hol. Dictynna, good man Dull; Dietynna, good Dull. What is Dictynna? Nath. A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon. Hol. The moon was a month old, when Adam was no more; [fivescore. And raught not to five weeks, when he came to The allusion holds in the exchange. Dull. 'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange. Hol. God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds in the exchange. Dull. And I say the pollusion holds in the exchange; for the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside, that 'twas a pricket that the princess kill'd. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extempora epitaph on the death of the deer? and, to humour the ignorant, I have call'd the deer the princess kill'd, a pricket. Nath. Perge, good master Holofernes, perge; so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility. Hol. I will something affect the letter; for it argues facility. The praiseful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasing pricket; Some say, a sore; but not a sore, till now made sore with shooting. The dogs did yell; put l to sore, then sorel jumps from thicket; [hooting. Or pricket, sore, or else sorel; the people fall aIf sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores; O sore L! [more L. Of one sore I an hundred make, by adding but one Nath. A rare talent! Dull. If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent. Hol. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish, extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater; and deliver'd upon the mellowing of occasion: But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it. Nath. Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my parishioners; for their sons are well tutor'd by you, and their daughters profit very greatly under you: you are a good member of the commonwealth. Hol. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, they shall want no instruction: if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them: But, vir sapit, qui pauca loquitur: a soul feminine saluteth us. Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD. Jaq. God give you good morrow, master person. Hol. Master person,-quasi pers-on. And if one should be pierced, which is the one? Cost. Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead. Hol. Of piercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a turf of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough for a swine: 'tis pretty, it is well. Jaq. Good master parson, be so good as read me this letter; it was given me by Costard, and sent me from Don Armatho: I beseech you, read it. Hol. Fauste, precor gelidá quando pecus omne sub umbrá Ruminat,-and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan ! I may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice: Vinegia, Vinegia, Chi non te vede, ei non te pregia. Old Mantuan! old Mantuan! Who understandeth thee not, loves thee not.-Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or, rather, as Horace says in his-What, my soul, verses? Nath. Ay, sir, and very learned. Hol. Let me hear a staff, a stanza, a verse; Lege, domine. Nath. If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love? tongue! Hol. You find not the apostrophes, and so miss the accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret. Ovidius Naso was the man and why indeed, Naso; but for smelling out the odoriferous flowers of fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari, nothing: so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper, the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin, was this directed to you? Jaq. Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange queen's lords. Hol. I will overglance the superscript. To the snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline. I will look again on the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party written unto. Your Ladyship's in all desired employment, BIRON. Sir Nathaniel, this Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger queen's, which, accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried.-Trip and go, my sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the king; it may concern much: Stay not thy compliment; I forgive thy duty; adien. Jaq. Good Costard, go with me.—Sir, God save your life! Cost. Have with thee, my girl. [Exeunt Cost. and Jaq. Nath. Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very religiously; and, as a certain father saith Hol. Sir, tell not me of the father, I do fear colourable colours. But, to return to the verses; Did they please you, sir Nathaniel? Nath. Marvellous well for the pen. Hol. I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil of mine; where if, before repast, it shall please you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned, neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I beseech your society. Nath. And thank you too: for society, (saith the text,) is the happiness of life. Hol. And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.-Sir, (to Dull) I do invite you too; you shall not say me, nay: pauca verba.-Away; the gentles are at game, and we will to our recreation. [Exeunt. SCENE III. Another part of the same. Enter BIRON, with a paper. Biron. The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself: they have pitch'd a toil; I am toiling in a pitch; pitch, that defiles; defile! a foul word. Well, Set thee down, sorrow! for so, they say, the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as Ajax it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep: Well proved again on my side! I will not love: if I do, hang me; i'faith, I will not. O, but her eye, by this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love and it hath taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme, and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my sonnets already; the clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin, if the other three were in: Here comes one with a paper; God give him grace to groan. (Gets up into a tree.) Enter the King, with a paper. King. Ah me! Biron. (Aside.) Shot by heaven! sweet Cupid; thou hast thump'd him with thy birdbolt under the left pap:-I'faith secrets. King. (Reads.) So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not To those fresh morning drops upon the rose, Through the transparent bosom of the deep, So ridest thou triumphing in my woe; And they thy glory through my grief will show: But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep My tears for glasses, and still make me weep. O queen of queens, how far dost thou excel! No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.— How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper; Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here? (Steps aside.) Enter LONGAVILLE, with a paper. What, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear. Disfigure not his slop. Long. This same shall go.(He reads the sonnet.) Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye ('Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,) Persuade my heart to this false perjury? Vows, for thee broke, deserve not punishment. A woman I forswore; but, I will prove, Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee: My row was earthly, thou a heavenly love; Thy grace, being gain'd, cures all disgrace in me. Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is: Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine, Exhal st this vapour vow; in thee it is: If broken then, it is no fault of mine; Biron. (Aside.) This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity: A green goose, a goddess: pure, pure idolatry. God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way. Enter DUMAIN, with a paper. Long. By whom shall I send this?-Company! stay. (Stepping aside.) Biron. (A side. ) All hid, all hid, an old infant play: Like a demi-god here sit I in the sky, And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'er-eye. More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish! Dumain transform'd: four woodcocks in a dish! Dum. O most divine Kate! Biron. O most profane coxcomb! (Aside.) Dum. By heaven, the wonder of a mortal eye! Biron. By earth, she is but corporal; there you lie. (Aside.) Dum. Her amber hairs for foul have amber coted. Biron. An amber-colour'd raven was well noted. (Aside.) Dum. As upright as the cedar. Biron. Stoop, I say;. Her shoulder is with child. (Aside.) Dum. As fair as day. Biron. Ay, as some days; but then no sun must shine. (Aside.) And I had mine! (Aside.) King. And I mine too, good lord! (Aside.) Biron. Amen, so I had mine: Is not that a good word? (Aside.) Dum. O that I had my wish! Dum. I would forget her; but a fever she Reigns in my blood, and will remember'd be. Biron. A fever in your blood, why, then incision Would let her out in saucers; sweet misprision! (Aside.) Dum. Once more I'll read the ode that I have writ. Biron. Once more I'll mark how love can vary (Aside.) wit. Dum. On a day, (alack the day!) That I am forsworn for thee: And deny himself for Jove, This will I send; and something else more plain, Long. Dumain, (advancing) thy love is far from charity, That in love's grief desir'st society: You may look pale, but I should blush, I know, To be o'erheard, and taken napping so. King. Come, sir, (advancing) you blush; as his your case is such; You chide at him, offending twice as much; (To Long.) And Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath. What will Birón say, when that he shall hear I would not have him know so much by me. |