Boyet. Ladies, withdraw; the gallants are at hand. Prin. Whip to our tents, as roes run over land. [Exeunt Princess, Ros. Kath, and Maria. Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habits. King. Fair sir, God save you! Where is the princess? Boyet. Gone to her tent: Please it your majesty, Command me any service to her thither? King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one word. Boyet. I will; and so will she, I know, my lord. That put Armado's page out of his part! Biron. See where it comes!-Behaviour, what wert thou, Till this man show'd thee? and what art thou now? King. All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day! Prin. Fair, in all hail, is foul, as I conceive. King. Construe my speeches better, if you may. Prin. Then wish me better, I will give you leave. King. We came to visit you; and purpose now To lead you to our court: vouchsafe it then. Prin. This field shall hold me; and so hold your VOW: Nor God, nor I, delight in perjur'd men. King. Rebuke me not for that which you provoke; The virtue of your eye must break my oath. Prin. You nick-name virtue: vice you should have spoke; For virtue's office never breaks men's troth. A world of torments though I should endure, Prin. Ay, in truth, my lord; Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state. Ros. Madam, speak true:-It is not so, my lord; My lady, (to the manner of the days,) In courtesy, gives undeserving praise. We four, indeed, confronted here with four In Russian habit; here they stay'd an hour, And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord, They did not bless us with one happy word. downright. Dum. Let us confess, and turn it to a jest. Prin. Amaz'd, my lord? Why looks your highness sad? Ros. Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon? Why look you pale?— Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy. Biron. Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury. Can any face of brass hold longer out?— Here stand I, lady; dart thy skill at me; Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout; Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance; Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit; And I will wish thee never more to dance, Nor never more in Russian habit wait. O!'never will I trust to speeches penn'd, Nor to the motion of a school-boy's tongue; Nor never come in visor to my friend; Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song: Taffata phrases, silken terms precise, Three-pil'd hyperboles, spruce affectation, Figures pedantical: these summer-flies Have blown me full of maggot ostentation: I do forswear them: and I here protest, By this white glove, (how white the hand, God Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd Biron. Prin. No, they are free, that gave these tokens to us. Prin. When she shall challenge this, you will reject her. King. Upon mine honour, no. Peace, peace, forbear; Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear. King. Despise me, when I break this oath of mine. Prin. I will; and therefore keep it :-Rosaline, What did the Russian whisper in your ear? Ros. Madam, he swore, that he did hold me dear As precious eye-sight; and did value me Above this world: adding thereto, moreover, That he would wed me, or else die my lover. Prin. God give thee joy of him! the noble lord Most honourably doth uphold his word. King. What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth, I never swore this lady such an oath. Ros. By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain, You gave me this: but take it, sir, again. King. My faith, and this, the princess I did give; I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve. Prin. Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear; That smiles his cheek in years; and knows the trick (To Boyet.) Forestal our sport, to make us thus untrue? Boyet. Full merrily Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray. Whether the three worthies shall come in, or no. No, sir; but it is vara fine, For every one pursents three. Biron. You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we know what we know: I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir, Is not nine. Biron. Cost. Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount. [nine. Biron. By Jove, I always took three threes for Cost. O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living by reckoning, sir. Biron. How much is it? Cost. O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors, sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for my own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man,-e'en one poor man; Pompion the great, sir. Biron. Art thou one of the worthies? Cost. It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the great for mine own part, I know not the degree of the worthy; but I am to stand for him. Biron. Go, bid them prepare. some care. Cost. We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take [Exit Costard. King. Birón, they will shame us, let them not approach. Biron. We are shame-proof, my lord: and 'tis some policy To have one show worse than the king's and his Arm. Anointed, I implore so much expence of thy royal sweet breath, as will utter a brace of words. (Armado converses with the King, and delivers him a paper.) Prin. Doth this man serve God? Prin. He speaks not like a man of God's making. Arm. That's all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch: for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical; too, too vain; too, too vain: But we will put it, as they say, to fortuna della guerra. I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement ! [Exit Armado. King. Here is like to be a good presence of worthies: He presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas Machabæus. And if these four worthies in their first show thrive, These four will change habits, and present the other five. Biron. There is five in the first show. King. You are deceiv'd, 'tis not so. Biron. The pedant, the braggart, the hedgepriest, the fool, and the boy : Abate a throw at noyum; and the whole world again, [vein. Cannot prick out five such, take each one in his King. The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain. (Seats brought for the King, Princess, &c.) Pageant of the Nine Worthies. Enter COSTARD arm'd, for Pompey. Cost. I Pompey am, Boyet. Cost. I Pompey am Boyet. You lie, you are not he. With libbard's head on knee. Biron. Well said, old mocker; I must needs be friends with thee. Cost. I Pompey am, Pompey surnam'd the big ;— Dum. The great. Cost. It is great, sir;-Pompey surnam'd the great; That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my foe to sweat: And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance; And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of Cost. 'Tis not so much worth: but, I hope, I was perfect: I made a little fault in, great. Biron. My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best worthy. Enter NATHANIEL arm'd, for Alexander. Nath. When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander; By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering might; My 'scutcheon plain declares, that I am Alisander. Boyet. Your nose says, no, you are not; for it stands too right. Biron. Your nose smells, no, in this most tendersmelling knight. Prin. The conqueror is dismay'd: Proceed, good Alexander. Nath. When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander ; Boyet. Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander. Biron. Pompey the great, Cost. Your servant,and Costárd. Biron. Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander. Cost. O, sir, (to Nath.) you have overthrown Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds his poll-ax sitting on a close-stool, will be given to A-jax he will be the ninth worthy. A conqueror, and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander. (Nath.retires.) There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an honest man, look you, and soon dash'd! He is a marvellous good neighbour, in sooth; and a very good bowler: but, for Ålisander, alas, you see, how 'tis ;-a little o'erparted:-But there are worthies a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort. Prin. Stand aside, good Pompey. Eater HOLOFERNES arm'd, for Judas, and MOTH arm'd, for Hercules. Hol. Great Hercules is presented by this imp, Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canus; And, when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp, Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus : Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish. [Exit Moth. Biron. Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer: And now, forward; for we have put thee in coun tenance. Hol. You have put me out of countenance. And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay? Biron. For the ass to the Jude; give it him :Jud-as, away. Hol. This is not generous, not gentle, not humble. Boyet. A light for monsieur Judas: it grows dark, he may stumble. [baited! Prin. Alas, poor Machabæus, how hath he been Enter ARMADO arm'd, for Hector. Biron. Hide thy head, Achilles; here comes Hector in arms. Dum. Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry. King. Hector was but a Trojan in respect of this. Dum. I think, Hector was not so clean timbered. Boyet. No; he is best endued in the small. Dum. He's a god or a painter; for he makes faces. Arm. The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty, Gave Hector a gift. Dum, gilt nutmeg. Long. Stuck with cloves. Arm. Peace! The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty, That mint. Dum. Long. That columbine. Arm. Sweet lord Longaville, rein thy tongue. Long. I must rather give it the rein; for it runs against Hector. Dum. Ay, and Hector's a greyhound. Arm. The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks, beat not the bones of the buried: when he breath'd, he was a man-But I will forward with my device: Sweet royalty, (to the Princess.) bestow on me the sense of hearing. (Biron whispers Costard.) Prin. Speak, brave Hector; we are much delighted. Arm. I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper. Dum. He may not by the yard. Arm. This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,— Cost. The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way. Arm. What meanest thou? Cost. Faith, unless you play the honest Trojan, the poor wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in her belly already; 'tis yours. Arm. Dost thou infamonize me among poten tates? thou shalt die. Cost. Then shall Hector be whipp'd for Jaquenetta that is quick by him; and hang'd, for Pompey that is dead by him. Dum. Most rare Pompey! Boyet. Renowned Pompey! Biron. Greater than great, great, great, great Pompey! Pompey the huge! Dum. Hector trembles. Biron. Pompey is mov'd:-More Ates, more Ates; stir them on! stir them on! Dum. Hector will challenge him. Biron. Ay, if he have no more man's blood in's belly than will sup a flea. Arm. By the north pole, I do challenge thee. Cost. I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man; I'll flash; I'll do it by the sword :-I pray let me borrow my arms again. Dum. Room for the incensed worthies. Cost. I'll do it in my shirt. you, Dum. Most resolate Pompey! Moth. Master, let me take you a button-hole lower. Do you not see, Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean you? you will lose your reputation. Arm. Gentlemen, and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat in shirt. my Dum. You may not deny it; Pompey hath made the challenge. Arm. Sweet bloods, I both may and will. Biron. What reason have you for't? Arm. The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go woolward for penance. Boyet. True, and it was enjoin'd him in Rome for want of linen; since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none, but a dish-clout of Jaquenetta's; and that 'a wears next his heart, for a favour. Enter MERCADE. Mer. God save you, madam ! But that thou interrupt'st our merriment. Mer. I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring, Is heavy in my tongue. The king your fatherPrin. Dead, for my life. Mer. Even so; my tale is told. [cloud. Biron. Worthies, away; the scene begins to Arm. For mine own part, I breathe free breath: I have seen the day of wrong through the little hole of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier. [Exeunt Worthies. King. How fares your majesty? For all your fair endeavours; and entreat, King. The extreme parts of time extremely form From what it purpos'd; since, to wail friends lost, Prin. I understand you not; my griefs are dou- For Biron. Honest plain words best pierce the ear of And by these badges understand the king. your fair sakes have we neglected time, Play'd foul play with our oaths; your beauty, ladies, Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humours Full of strange shapes, of habits, and of forms, Long. So did our looks. Ros. We did not quote them so. King. Now, at the latest minute of the hour, Grant us your loves. Prin. A time, methinks, too short Come challenge, challenge me by these deserts, King. If this, or more than this, I would deny, To flatter up these powers of mine with rest, The sudden hand of death close up mine eye! Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast. Biron. And what to me, my love, and what to me? Ros. You must be purged too, your sins are rank; You are attaint with faults and perjury; Therefore, if you my favour mean to get, A twelvemonth shall you spend, and never rest, But seek the weary beds of people sick. Dum. But what to me, my love? but what to me? Kath. A wife!-A beard, fair health, and ho nesty; With three-fold love I wish you all these three. Dum. I'll serve thee true and faithfully till then. Mar. At the twelvemonth's end, I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend. Long. I'll stay with patience; but the time is long. Mar. The liker you; few taller are so young. Biron. Studies my lady? mistress look on me, Behold the window of my heart, mine eye, What humble suit attends thy answer there; Impose some service on me for thy love. Ros. Oft have I heard of you, my lord Birón, Before I saw you: and the world's large tongue Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks; Full of comparisons and wounding flouts; Which you on all estates will execute, That lie within the mercy of your wit: To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain; And, therewithal, to win me, if you please, (Without the which I am not to be won,) You shall this twelvemonth term, from day to day, Visit the speechless sick, and still converse With groaning wretches; and your task shall be, With all the fierce endeavour of your wit, To enforce the pained impotent to smile. Biron. To move wild laughter in the throat of death? It cannot be; it is impossible: Mirth cannot move a soul in agony. Ros. Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit, Whose influence is begot of that loose grace, Of him that hears it, never in the tongue Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans, King. Call them forth quickly, we will do so. Arm. Holla! approach. Enter HOLOFERNES, NATHANIEL, MOTH, CosTARD, and others. This side is Hiems, winter; this Ver, the spring; the one maintain'd by the owl, the other by the cuckoo. Ver, begin. Spring. [befall, Winter. 'Biron. A twelvemonth? well, befall what will I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital. Prin. Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave. (To the King.) King. No, madam: we will bring you on your way. Biron. Our wooing doth not end like an old play; Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesy Might well have made our sport a comedy. [day, King. Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a And then 'twill end. Biron. That's too long for a play. Enter ARMADO. Arm. Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,— Dam. The worthy knight of Troy. Arm. I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave: I am a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the plough for her sweet love three years. But, most esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that the two learned men have compiled, in praise of the owl and the cuckoo? it should have followed in the end of our show. SONG. I. When daisies pied, and violets blue, Do paint the meadows with delight, Cuckoo, cuckoo,--O word of fear, II. When shepherds pipe on oaten straws, Cuckoo, cuckoo,-O word of fear, III. When icicles hang by the wall, And Dick the shepherd blows his nail, And Tom bears logs into the hall, And milk comes frozen home in pail, Tu-whit, to-who, a merry note, IV. |