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Bian. Why, I am past my gamut long ago.
C faut, that loves with all affection:
Enter a Servant.
Serv. Mistress, your father prays you leave your books,
And help to dress your sister's chamber up;
Hor. But I have cause to pry into this pedant;
SCENE II.-The same. Before Baptista's House. Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA, LUCENTIO, and Attendants.
Bap. Signior Lucentio, (to Tranio) this is the 'pointed day,
To give my hand, oppos'd against my heart,
Who woo'd in haste, and means to wed at leisure.
That Katharine and Petruchio should be married,
What will be said? what mockery will it be,
Bap. Why, that's all one.
Bion. Nay, by St. Jamy, I hold you a penny,
Kath. No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be A horse and a man is more than one, and yet not
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour:
He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,
Tra. Patience, good Katharine, and Baptista too;
and an old jerkin; a pair of old breeches, thrice turned; a pair of boots, that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced; an old rusty sword ta'en out of the town armoury, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points: His horse hipped with an old mothy saddle, the stirrups of no kindred besides, possessed with the glanders, and like to mose in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of wind-galls, sped with spavins, raied with the yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, beknawn with the bots; swayed in the back, and shoulder-shotten; ne'er-legged before, and with a half-checked bit, and a head-stall of sheep's leather; which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repaired with knots; one girt six times pieced, and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name, fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with pack thread.
[Exit, weeping, followed by Bianca, and others.
Bion. Master, master! news, old news, and such news as you never heard of!
Bap. Is it new and old too? how may that be?
Bion. He is coming.
Bap. Who comes with him?
Bion. O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg, and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat, and The humour of forty fancies pricked in't for a feather: a monster, a very monster in apparel; and not like a Christian footboy, or a gentleman's lackey.
Tra. 'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this Yet oftentimes he goes but mean apparell'd. fashion;
Bap. I am glad he is come, howsoe'er he comes.
Bap. Ay, that Petruchio came.
Bion. No, sir; I say, his horse comes with him on his back.
As I wish you were.
Pet. Were it better I should rush in thus.
And wherefore gaze this goodly company;
Tra. And tell us what occasion of import
Pet. Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:
To me she's married, not unto my clothes:
[Exeunt Petruchio, Grumio, and Biondello.
Bap. I'll after him, and see the event of this.
Tra. But, sir, to her love concerneth us to add
It skills not much; we'll fit him to our turn,—
Luc. Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster
Tra. That by degrees we mean to look into,
Signior Gremio! came you from the church!
Gre. As willingly as e'er I came from school.
Ay, by gog's-wouns, quoth he; and swore so loud,
Tra. What said the wench, when he arose again?
As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
But that his beard grew thin and hungerly,
I know, you think to dine with me to-day,
Bap. Is't possible, you will away to-night? Pet. I must away to-day, before night come :Make it no wonder; if you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go than stay. And, honest company, I thank you all, That have beheld me give away myself To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife : Dine with my father, drink a health to me; For I must hence and farewell to you all. Tra. Let us entreat you stay till after dinner. Pet. It may not be. Gre.
Let me entreat you.
Pet. It cannot be.
Let me entreat you.
Pet. I am content. Kath. Are you content to stay? Pet. I am content you shall entreat me stay; But yet not stay, entreat me how you can. Kath. Now, if you love me, stay.
Grumio, my horses. Gru. Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten
Kath. Nay, then,
Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day ;
Pet. O Kate, content thee; pr'ythee, be not
Kath. I will be angry: What hast thou to do?Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.
Gre. Ay, marry, sir: now it begins to work. Kath. Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner :I see a woman may be made a fool, If she had not a spirit to resist.
Pet. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy com
Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
I will be master of what is mine own:
I'll bring my action on the proudest he,
I'll buckler thee against a million.
[Exeunt Petruchio, Katharina, and Grumio. Bap. Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones. Gre. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.
Tra. Of all mad matches, never was the like! Luc. Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister? Bian. That, being mad herself, she's madly mated. Gre. I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.
SCENE I.-A Hall in Petruchio's Country House. Enter GRUMIO.
Gru. Fy, fy, on all tired jades! on all mad masters! and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so ray'd? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me :-But I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, hoa! Curtis!
Curt. Is she so hot a shrew, as she's reported? Gru. She was, good Curtis, before this frost : but thou know'st, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.
Curt. Away, you three inch fool! I am no beast. Gru. Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand,) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office.
Curt. I pr'ythee, good Grumio, tell me, How goes the world?
Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and, therefore, fire: Do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Curt. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news?
Gru. Why, Jack boy! ho boy! and as much news as thou wilt.
Curt. Come, you are so full of coney-catching:Gru. Why, therefore, fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order?
Curt. All ready; And therefore, I pray thee, news? Gru. First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out.
Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt; And thereby hangs a tale.
Curt. Let's ha't, good Grumio.
Gru. Lend thine ear.
(Striking him.) Curt. This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale. Gru. And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale: and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. ow I begin: Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mis
how he beat me, because her horse stumbled; how she waded through the dirt, to pluck him off me; how he swore; how she prayed that never pray'd before; how I cried; how the horses ran away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper;with many things of worthy memory; which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave. [she. Curt. By this reckoning, he is more shrew than Gru. Ay; and that, thou and the proudest of you all shall find, when he comes home. But what talk
this?-call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brushed, and their garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsy with their left legs; and not presume to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail, till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
Curt. They are.
Gru. Call them forth.
Curt. Both on one horse?
Gru. Tell thou the tale :- -But hadst thou not crossed ine, thou should'st have heard how her horse fell, and she under her horse; thou should'st have heard, in how miry a place: how she was bemoiled; how he left her with the horse upon her;
Enter several Servants.
Gru. Welcome, you;-how now, you;-what, you;-fellow, you;-and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat? [master? Nath. All things is ready: How near is our Gru. E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not,Cock's passion, silence!- -I hear my master.
Gru. Here, sir; as foolish as I was before. Pet. You peasant swain! you whoreson malthorse drudge! Did I not bid thee meet me in the park, And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
Gru. Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made, And Gabriel's pumps were all unpinck'd i'the heel; There was no link to colour Peter's hat,
And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing: There were none fine, but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory: The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly; Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you. Pet. Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in. [Exeunt some of the Servants. Where is the life that late I led— (Sings.) Where are those- -Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud!
Re-enter Servants, with supper.
Why, when, I say?-Nay, good sweet Kate, be
Off with my boots, you rogues, you villains; When? It was the friar of orders grey, (Sings.) As he forth walked on his
Out, out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
[Exit Servant. One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.
Where are my slippers?-Shall I have some water? (A basin is presented to him.) Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily:(Servant lets the ewer fall.) You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?
(Strikes him.) Kath. Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.
Pet. A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave! Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach. Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I ?— What is this? mutton?
Pet. 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat: What dogs are these!-Where is the rascal cook? How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser, And serve it thus to me, that love it not? There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all: (Throws the meat, &c. about the stage.) You heedless joltheads, and unmanner'd slaves! What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight. Kath. I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet; The meat was well, if you were so contented.
Pet. I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away; And I expressly am forbid to touch it, For it engenders choler, planteth anger; And better 'twere, that both of us did fast,Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh. Be patient; to-morrow it shall be mended, And, for this night, we'll fast for company :Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.
[Exeunt Petruchio, Katharina, and Curtis. Nath. (Advancing.) Peter, didst ever see the like?
Peter. He kills her in her own humour.
Gru. Where is he?
Curt. In her chamber,
Who brought it?
Making a sermon of continency to her:
And rails, and swears, and rates; that she, poor soul,
Pet. Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
And, in conclusion, she shall watch all night: And, if she chance to nod, I'll rail, and braw), And with the clamour keep her still awake. This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong hu
He, that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Enter BIANCA and LUCENTIO.
Luc. Now, mistress, profit you in what you read? Bian. What, master, read you? first resolve me that.
Luc. I read that, I profess; the art to love. Bian. And may you prove, sir, master of your art! Luc. While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart. (They retire.) Hor. Quick proceeders, marry! Now, tell me, You that durst swear that your mistress Bianca Lov'd none in the world so well as Lucentio.
Tra. O despiteful love! unconstant womankind!— I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.
Hor. Mistake no more: I am not Licio,
Tra. Signior Hortensio, I have often heard
Hor. See, how they kiss and court!-
Tra. And here I take the like unfeigned oath,— Ne'er to marry with her, though she would entreat: Fy on her! see, how beastly she doth court him. Hor. 'Would, all the world, but he, had quite forsworn!
For me, that I may surely keep mine oath,
Ere three days pass; which hath as long lov'd me,
[Exit Hortensio.-Lucentio and Bianca advance. Tra. Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace As 'longeth to a lover's blessed case! Nay, I have ta'en you napping, gentle love; And have forsworn you, with Hortensio.
Bian. Tranio, you jest: But have you both forsworn me?
Tra. Mistress, we have.
Enter BIONDELLO, running.
Bion. O master, master, I have watch'd so long Upon entreaty, have a present alms;
What is he, Biondello?
Tra. If he be credulous, and trust my tale,
Ped. God save you, sir! Tra. And you, sir! you are welcome. Travel you far on, or are you at the furthest? Ped. Sir, at the furthest for a week or two: But then up further; and as far as Rome; And so to Tripoly, if God lend me life. Tra. What countryman, I pray? Ped.
Of Mantua. Tra. Of Mantua, sir?-marry, God forbid! And come to Padua, careless of your life?
Ped. My life, sir! how, I pray? for that goes hard.
Tra. 'Tis death for any one in Mantua
Tra. Well, sir, to do you courtesy,
Ped. Ay, sir, in Pisa have I often been;
Tra. Among them, know you one Vincentio? Ped. I know him not, but I have heard of him; A merchant of incomparable wealth.
Tra. He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say, In countenance somewhat doth resemble you.
Bion. As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one. (Aside.)
Tra. To save your life in this extremity, This favour will I do you for his sake; And think it not the worst of all your fortunes, That you are like to sir Vincentio. His name and credit shall you undertake, And in my house you shall be friendly lodg'd:Look, that you take upon you as you should; You understand me, sir;-so shall you stay Till you have done your business in the city: If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it.
Ped. O, sir, I do; and will repute you ever The patron of my life and liberty.
Tra. Then go with me, to make the matter good, This, by the way, I let you understand ;My father is here look'd for every day, To pass assurance of a dower in marriage 'Twixt me and one Baptista's daughter here: In all these circumstances I'll instruct you: Go with me, sir, to clothe you as becomes you. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-A Room in Petruchio's House. Enter KATHARINA and GRUMIO.
Beggars, that come under my father's door,
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity:
Kath. I like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me.
Or else you get no beef of Grumio,
Kath. Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt. Gru. Why, then the mustard without the beef. Kath. Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave, (Beats him.) That feed'st me with the very name of meat: Sorrow on thee, and all the pack of you, That triumph thus upon my misery! Go, get thee gone, I say.
Gru. No, no, forsooth; I dare not, for my life. Kath. The more my wrong, the more his spite
appears: What, did he marry me to famish me?
Enter PETRUCHIO with a dish of meat; and HORTENSIO.
Pet. How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all Hor. Mistress, what cheer? [amort? Kath. 'Faith, as cold as can be. Pet. Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me. Here, love; thou see'st how diligent I am, To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee: (Sets the dish on a table.) I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks. What, not a word? Nay then, thou lov'st it not; And all my pains is sorted to no proof :Here, take away this dish.
Kath. 'Pray you, let it stand. Pet. The poorest service is repaid with thanks; And so shall mine, before you touch the meat. Kath. I thank you, sir.
Hor. Signior Petruchio, fy! you are to blame : Come, mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.
Pet. Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lov'st me.(Aside.)
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
Enter Tailor. Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments; Enter Haberdasher.
Lay forth the gown.-What news with you, sir?
Kath. I'll have no bigger; this doth fit the time, And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.