nine ropes of onions, and actually ran out at her eyes, before half the hideous task was accomplished.

Whiston, the fame ingenious philofopher who rivalled Ditton in his researches after the longitude, (for which the mischief-loving Swift discharged on their heads a moft favoury stanza) has distinguished himself by a very admirable theory respecting the earth. He conjectures that it was originally a chaotic comet, which being selected for the abode of man, was removed from its eccentric orbit, and whirled round. the fun in its present regular motion; by which change of direction, order fucceeded to confufion in the arrangement of its component parts. The philofopher adds, that the deluge was produced by an uncourteous falute from the watery tail of another comet; doubtless through sheer envy of its improved condition: thus furnishing a melancholy proof that jealoufy may prevail, even among the heavenly bodies, and difcord interrupt that celestial harmony of the spheres, so melodiously fung by the poets.

But I pafs over a variety of excellent theories, among which are thofe of Burnet, and Woodward, and Whitehurst; regretting extremely that my time will not suffer me to give them the notice they deferve-And fhall conclude with that of the renowned Dr. Darwin. This learned Theban, who is as much distinguished for rhyme as reafon, and for good natured credulity as serious research, and who has recommended himself wonderfully to the good graces

of the ladies, by letting them into all the gallantries, amours, debaucheries, and other topics of scandal of the court of Flora; has fallen upon a theory worthy of his combuftible imagination. According to his

opinion, the huge mafs of chaos took a fudden occafion to explode, like a barrel of gunpowder, and in that act exploded the fun-which in its flight, by a fimilar convulfion, exploded the earth-which in like guife exploded the moon-and thus by a concatenation of explosions, the whole folar fyftem was produced, and set most systematically in motion!*

By the great variety of theories here alluded to, every one of which, if thoroughly examined, will be found furprisingly confiftent in all its parts; my unlearned readers will perhaps be led to conclude, that the creation of a world is not fo difficult a task as they at first imagined. I have fhown at least a score of ingenious methods in which a world could be conftructed; and I have no doubt, that had any of the philofopher's above quoted, the use of a good manageable comet, and the philofophical ware-house chaos at his command, he would engage to manufacture a planet as good, or if you would take his word for it, better than this we inhabit.

And here I cannot help noticing the kindness of providence, in creating comets for the great relief of bewildered philofophers. By their affiftance more

*Drw. Bot. Garden. Part I. Cant. i. 1. 105.

fudden evolutions and transitions are affected in th fystem of nature, than are wrought in a pantomimi exhibition, by the wonder-working fword of Harle quin. Should one of our modern fages, in his theo retical flights among the ftars, ever find himself lof in the clouds, and in danger of tumbling into th abyfs of nonfenfe and abfurdity, he has but to feize a comet by the beard, mount aftride of its tail, and away he gallops in triumph, like an enchanter on his hyppogriff, or a Connecticut witch on her broomstick "to sweep the cobwebs out of the sky.”

It is an old and vulgar saying, about a "beggar on horfe back," which I would not for the world have applied to thefe reverend philofophers; but I must confefs, that fome of them, when they are mounted on one of those fiery steeds, are as wild in their curvettings as was Phaeton of yore, when he afpired to manage the chariot of Phoebus. One drives his comet at full speed against the fun, and knocks the world out of him with the mighty concuffion; another more moderate, makes his comet a kind of bealt of burden, carrying the fun a regular supply of food and faggots a third, of more combuftible difpofition, threatens to throw his comet, like a bombshell into the world, and blow it up like a powder magazine; while a fourth, with no great delicacy to this planet, and its inhabitants, infinuates that some day or other, his comet-my modest pen blushes while I write itshall abfolulely turn tail upon our world and deluge.

it with water!-Surely, as I have already obferved, comets were bountifully provided by providence for the benefit of philofophers, to affist them in manufacturing theories.

And now, having adduced feveral of the most prominent theories, that occur to my recollection, I leave my judicious readers at full liberty to choose among them. They are all serious speculations of learned men—all differ effentially from each other-and all have the fame title to belief. It has ever been the task of one race of philofophers to demolish the works of their predeceffors, and elevate more fplendid fantafies in their stead, which in their turn are demolished and replaced by the air caftles of a fucceeding genera❤ tion. Thus it would feem that knowledge and genius, of which we make fuch great parade, consist but in detecting the errors and abfurdities of thofe who have gone before, and devifing new errors and abfurdities, to be detected by those who are to come after us. Theories are the mighty foap bubbles, with which the grown up children of fcience amuse themselves-while the honeft vulgar stand gazing in stupid admiration, and dignify these learned vagaries with the name of wisdom!-Surely Socrates was right in his opinion, that philosophers are but a soberer fort of madmen, bufying themselves in things totally incomprehenfible, or which, if they could be comprehended, would be found not worthy the trouble of discovery.

For my own part, until the learned have come to an agreement among themselves, I fhall content myfelf with the account handed down to us by Mofes ; in which I do but follow the example of our ingenious neighbours of Connecticut; who at their first fettlement proclaimed, that the colony fhould be governed by the laws of God-until they had time to make better.

One thing however appears certain-from the unanimous authority of the before quoted philofophers, fupported by the evidence of our own fenfes, (which, though very apt to deceive us, may be cautiously admitted as additional testimony,) it appears, I fay, and I make the affertion deliberately, without fear of contradiction, that this globe really was created, and that it is compofed of land and water. It further appears that it is curiously divided and parcelled out into continents and iflands, among which I boldly declare the renowned ISLAND OF NEW-YORK, will be found by any one who feeks for it in its proper place.