scoff! King. Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits. [Exeunt KING, Lords, MOTH, Music and Attendants. Prin.Twenty adieus,my frozen Muscovites.Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at? Boyet. Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out. Ros. Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat. Prin. O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout! Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight? Or ever, but in visors, show their faces? This pert Birón was out of countenance quite. Ros. O they were all in lamentable cases! The king was weeping-ripe for a good word. Prin. Birón did swear himself out of all suit. Mar. Dumain was at my service, and his sword: No point, quoth I; and my servant straight was mute. [heart; Kath. Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his And trow you, what he call'd me? Prin. Qualm, perhaps. Kath. Yes, in good faith. Prin. Go, sickness as thou art! Ros. Well, better wits have worn plain sta Kath. And Longaville was for my service born. Mur. Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree. Boyet. Madam, and pretty mistresses, give Immediately they will again be here In their own shapes; for it can never be, They will digest this harsh indignity. Prin. Will they return! [ear: Boyet. They will, they will, God knows; And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows: Therefore, change favours; and, when they repair, Blow like sweet roses in the summer air. Prin. How blow? how blow? speak to be understood. Boyet. Fair ladies, mask'd, are roses in their bud: [shown, Dismask'd, their damask sweet conmixture Are angels veiling clouds, or roses blown. Prin. Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do, If they return in their own shapes to woo? A quibble on the French adverb of negation. Ros. Good madam, if by me you'll be advis'd, Let's mock them still, as well known, as disguis'd: Let us complain to them what fools were here, Boyet. Ladies, withdraw; the gallants are at hand. Prin. Whip to our tents, as 10es run over land. [Exeunt PRIN. Rós. KATH, and MARIA. Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habits. King. Fair Sir, God save you! Where is the princess? Boyet. Gone to her tent, Please it your majesCommand me any service to her thither? [ty, King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one word. Boyet. I will; and so will she; I know, my lord. [Exit. Biron. This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons pease; And utters it again when God doth please: King. A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart, That put Armado's page out of his part! Enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BOYET; ROSA LINE, MARIA, KATHARINE, and Attendants. Biron. See where it comes!-Behaviour, what wert thou, [now? Till this man show'd thee? and what art thou King. All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day! Prin. Fair, in all hail, is foul, as I conceive. King. Construe my speeches better, if you Now, by my maiden honour, yet as pure As the unsullied lily, I protest, A mess of Russians left us but of late. Trim gallants, full of courtship, and of state. We four, indeed, confronted here with four Biron. This jest is dry to me-Fair, gentle sweet, [greet Your wit makes wise things foolish; when we With eyes best seeing heaven's fiery eye, By light we lose light: Your capacity Is of that nature, that to your huge store Wise things seem foolish, and rich things but poor. Ros. This proves you wise and rich; for in my eye, Biron. I am a fool, and full of poverty. Ros. But that you take what doth to you belong, It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue. Biron. O, I am yours, and all that I possess. Ros. All the fool mine? Biron. I cannot give you less. Ros. Which of the visors was it, that you wore? Biron. Where? when? what visor? why demand you this? Ros. There, then, that visor; that superfluous case, That hid the worse, and show'd the better face. King. We are descried: they'll mock us now downright. Dum. Let us confess, and turn it to a jest. Prin. Amaz'd, my lord? Why looks your highness sad? Ros. Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon! Why look you pale?— Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy. Biron. Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury. Can any face of brass hold longer out?Here stand I, lady; dart thy skill at me; Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout; [rance; Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignoCut me to pieces with thy keen conceit; And I will wish thee never more to dance, Nor never more in Russian habit wait. O! never will I trust to speeches penn'd, Nor to the motion of a school-boy's tongue; Nor never come in visor to my friend;t Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's Taffata phrases, silken terms precise, [song: Three-pil'd hyperboles, spruce affectation, Figures pedantical; these summer-flies Have blown me full of maggot ostentation: + Mistress. * After the fashion of the times. I do forswear them and I here protest, Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd Biron. Yet I have a trick Of the old rage :-bear with me, I am sick; As precious eye-sight; and did value me Above this world: adding thereto, moreover, That he would wed me, or else die my lover. Prin. God give thee joy of him! the noble lord Most honourably doth uphold his word. King. What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth, I never swore this lady such an oath. Ros. By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain, You gave me this: but take it, Sir, again. King. My faith, and this, the princess I did give; I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve. wear; And lord Birón, I thank him, is my dear:What; will you have me, or your pearl again? Biron. Neither of either; I remit both twain. I see the trick on't ;-Here was a consent,t (Knowing aforehand of our merriment,) To dash it like a Christmas comedy: [zany,t Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight * Make no difficulty. † Conspiracy. + Buffoon. Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick, [trick That smiles his cheek in years; and knows the shrowd. You leer upon me, do you? there's an eye, Wounds like a leaden sword. Boyet. Full merrily Hath this brave manage, this career, been run. Biron. Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace; I have done. Enter COSTARD. [no. Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray. Biron, And three times thrice is nine. You cannot beg us, Sir, I can assure you, Sir; we know what we know: I hope, Sir, three times thrice, Sir, Biron. Is not nine. Cost. Under correction, Sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount. Biron. By Jove, I always took three threes for nine. Cost. O Lord, Sir, it were pity you should get your living by reckoning, Sir. Biron. How much is it? Cost. O Lord, Sir, the parties themselves, the actors, Sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for my own' part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man,-e'en one poor man; Pompion the great, Sir. Biron. Art thou one of the worthies? Cost. It pleased them, to think me worthy of Pompion the great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of the worthy; but I am to stand for him. Biron. Go, bid them prepare. Cost. We will turn it finely off, Sir; we will take some care. [Exit COSTARD. King. Birón, they will shame us, let them not approach. Biron. We are shame-proof, my lord: and 'tis some policy To have one show worse than the king's and his company. King. I say they shall not come. Prin. Nay, my good lord, let me o'er-rule [how: That sport best pleases, that doth least know Where zeal strives to content, and the contents Die in the zeal of them which it presents, Their form confounded makes most form in [birth. you now; mirth; When great things labouring perish in their | * Rule. Biron. A right description of our sport, my lord. Enter ARMADO. Arm. Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet breath, as will utter a brace of words. [ARMADO Converses with the KING, and delivers him a paper.] Prin. Doth this man serve God? Prin. He speaks not like a man of God's making. Arm. That's all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch: for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical; too, too vain; too, too tuna della guerra. I wish you the peace of vain: But we will put it, as they say, to formind, most royal couplement! [Exit ÂRMADO. King. Here is like to be a good presence of worthies: He presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas Machabæus. And if these four worthies in their first show thrive, These four will change habits, and present the other five. Biron. There is five in the first show. Biron. The pedant, the braggart, the hedgepriest, the fool, and the boy : Abate a throw at novum ;* and the whole world again, Cannot prickt out five such, take each one in his vein. [Seats brought for the KING, PRINCESS, &c. Pageant of the Nine Worthies. Enter COSTARD arm'd, for Pompey. Cost. I Pompey am,― Boyet. You lie, you are not he. Boyet. With libbard's head on knee. Biron. Well said, old mocker; I must needs be friends with thee. Cost. I Pompey am, Pompey surnam'd the big,— Dum. The great. Cost. It is great, Sir;-Pompey surnam'd the great; That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my foe to sweat: And, travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance; And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France. If your ladyship would say, Thanks, Pompey, I had done. Prin. Great thanks, great Pompey. Cost. 'Tis not so much worth; but, I hope, I was perfect: I made a little fault in, great. Biron. My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best worthy. Enter NATHANIEL arm'd, for Alexander. Nath. When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander ; By east, west, north, and south, I spread my Biron. Your nose smells, no, in this, most tender-smelling knight. Prin. The conqueror is dismay'd: Proceed, good Alexander. Nath. When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander ; Boyet. Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander. Biron. Pompey the great, Cost. Your servant, and Costárd. Biron. Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander. Cost. O, Sir, [To NATH.] you have overthrown Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds his poll-ax sitting on a close-stool, will be given to A-jax: he will be the ninth worthy. A conqueror, and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander. [NATH. retires.] There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an honest man, look you, and soon dash'd! He is a marvellous good neighbour, insooth; and a very good bowler: but, for Alisander, alas, you see, how 'tis ;-a little o'erparted:-But there are worthies a coming will speak their mind in some other sort. Prin. Stand aside, good Pompey. Enter HOLOFERNES armed, for Judas, and MOTH armed, for Hercules. Hol. Great Hercules is presented by this imp, Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-head Dum. For the latter end of his name. Hol. This is not generous, not gentle, not humble. Boyet. A light for Monsieur Judas: it grows dark, he may stumble. Prin. Alas, poor Machabæus, how hath he been baited! Enter ARMADO armed, for Hector. Biron. Hide thy head, Achilles; here comes Hector in arms. I Dum. Though my mocks come home by me, will now be merry. King. Hector was but a Trojan in respect of this. Boyet. But is this Hector? Dum. I think, Hector was not so cleantimber'd. Long. His leg is too big for Hector. Boyet. No; he is best indued in the small. Dum. He's a god or a painter: for he makes faces. Arm. The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty, Gave Hector a gift,— Dum. A gilt nutmeg. Long. Stuck with cloves. Dum. No, cloven. Arm. Peace. The armipotent Murs, of lances the almighty, A man so breath'd, that certain he would fight, yea Dum. That mint. Long. That columbine. Arm. Sweet lord Longaville, rein thy tongue. Long. I must rather give it the rein; for it runs against Hector. Dum. Ay, and Hector's a greyhound. Arm. The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks, beat not the bones of the buried when he breath'd, he was a man-But I will forward with my device: Sweet royalty, [to the PRINCESS.] bestow on me the sense of hearing. [BIRON whispers COSTARD. Prin. Speak, brave Hector; we are much delighted. Arm. I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper. Boyet. Loves her by the foot. Dum. He may not by the yard. Arm. This Hector fur surmounted Hannibal,Cost. The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way. Arm. What meanest thou? Cost. Faith, unless you play the honest Trojan, the poor wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in her belly already; 'tis yours. Arm. Dost thou infamonize me among po. tentates? thou shalt die. Cost. Then shall Hector be whipp'd, for Jaquenetta that is quick by him; and hang'd, for Pompey that is dead by him." Dum. Most rare Pompey! Biron, Greater than great, great, great, great Pompey, Pompey the huge! Dum. Hector trembles. Biron. Pompey is mov'd:-More Ates,* more Ates; stir them on! stir them on! Dum. Hector will challenge him. Biron. Ay, if he have no more man's blood in's belly than will sup a flea. Arm. By the north pole, I do challenge hee. Cost. I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man; I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword:I pray you let me borrow my arms again. Dum. Room for the incensed worthies. Cost. I'd do it in my shirt. Dum. Most resolute Pompey! Moth. Master, let me take you a button-hole lower. Do you not see, Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean you? you will lose your reputation. Arm. Gentlemen, and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat in my shirt. Dum. You may not deny it; Pompey hath made the challenge. Arm. Sweet bloods, I both may and will. Biron. What reason have you for't? Arm. The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go woolward for penance. Boyet. True, and it was enjoin'd him in Rome for want of linen: si ce when, I'll be sworn, he wore none, but a dish-clout of Jaquenetta's; and that 'a wears next his heart, for a favour. Enter MERCADE. Mer. God save you, madam! But that thou interrupt'st our merriment. Mer. I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring, Is heavy in my tongue. The king your fatherPrin. Dead, for my life. Mer. Even so; my tale is told. Biron. Worthies, away; the scene begins to cloud. Arm. For mine own part, I breathe free breath: I have seen the day of wrong through the little hole of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier. [Exeunt Worthies. King. How fares your majesty? Prin. Boyet, prepare; I will away to-night. For all your fair endeavours; and entreat, King. The extreme parts of time extremely [ost, Prin. I understand you not; my griefs are double. Biron. Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief; And by these badges understand the king. For your fair sakes have we neglected time, +Clothed in wool, without linen. Free to excess. * A clown. Play'd foul play with our oaths; your beauty, ladies, Hath much deform'd us, fashioning our humours Prin. We have receiv'd your letters, full of Your favours, the ambassadors of love; Long. So did our looks. Ros. We did not quote them so. King. Now, at the latest minute of the hour, Grant us your loves. Prin. A time, methinks, too short To make a world-without-end bargain in : No, no, my lord, your grace is perjur'd much, Full of dear guiltiness; and, therefore this, If for my love (as there is no such cause) You will do aught, this shall you do for me: Your oath I will not trust; but go with speed To some forlorn and naked hermitage, Remote from all the pleasures of the world; There stay, until the twelve celestial signs Have brought about their annual reckoning: If this austere insociable life Change not your offer made in heat of blood: If frosts, and fasts, hard lodging, and thin weeds, Nip not the gaudy blossoms of our love, King, if this, or more than this, I would deny, To flatter up these powers of mine with rest, The sudden hand of death close up-mine eye! Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast. Biron. And what to me, my love? and what to me? Ros. You must be purged too, your sins are rank; You are attaint with faults and perjury; |