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Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. There's something in me, that reproves my fault; Fab. More matter for a May-morning.
But such a headstrong potent fault it is, Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; 1 That it but mocks reproof. warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Vio. With the same 'haviour that your pasFab. Is't so saucy?
sion bears, Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but Go on my master's griefs. read,
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my Sir To. Give me. [Reads.) Youth, whatsoever Refuse it not, it'hath no tongue to vex you: thou art, thou art but a scuroy fellow. Fab. Good, and valiant.
And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny; mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee That honour, say'd, may upon asking give? no reason for't.
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the
master. blow of the law.
Oli. How with mine honour may I give him Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in which I have given to you?
[that my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in
Vio. I will acquit you. tky throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense- A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. less.
[Exit. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home ; where if it be thy chance to kill me,
Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and FABIAN. Fab. Good.
Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee. Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a vil
Vio. And you, Sir. lain,
Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee Fab. Still you keep o’the windy side of the to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast law: Good.
done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full Sir To. Fare thee well: And God have mercy of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee upon one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck,* be maine ; but my hope is better, und so look to thy- yaret in thy preparation, for thy assailant is self. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy quick, skilful, and deadly. suorn enemy. ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
Vio. You mistake, Sir; I am sure, no man Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is cannot: I'll give't him.
very free and clear from any image of offence Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; done to any man. he is now in some commerce with my lady,
Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: and will by and by depart.
therefore, if you hold your life at any price, Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at betake you to your guard; for your opposite the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as wrath, can furnish man withal. thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to Vio. I pray you, Sir, what is he? pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swagger- Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked ing accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is more approbation than ever proof itself would a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath have earned him. Away:
he divorced three; and his incensement at this Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can
Exit. be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't. the behaviour of the young gentleman gives
Vio. I'will return again into the house, and him out to be of good capacity and breeding; desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. his employment between his lord and my niece I have heard of some kind of men, that put confirms no less; therefore this letter, being so quarrels purposely on others, to taste their excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in valour: belike, this is a man of that quirk. I the youth, he will find it comes from a clod- Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself pole. But, Sir, I will deliver his challenge by out of a very competent injury; therefore, get word of mouth set upon Ague-cheek a nota- you on, and give him his desire. Back you ble report of valour; and drive the gentleman, shall not to the house, unless you undertake (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) | that with me, which with as much safety you into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright sword stark naked; for meddle you must, them both, that they will kill one another by that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about the look, like cockatrices.
Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech Enter Olivia and VIOLA.
you, do me this courteous office, as to know Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give of the knight what my offence to him is; it is them way, till he take leave, and presently something of my negligence, nothing of my after him.
purpose. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some by this gentleman till my return.
Sir To, I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you horrid message for a challenge. (Eseunt Sir Toby, FABIAN, and Maria.
(Exit Sir TOBY. Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of Vio. Pray you, Sir, do you know of this stone,
matter? And laid mine honour too unchary* out:
Fnb. I know, the knight is incensed against * Uncautiously,
you, even to a mortal arbitrement;" but nothing Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am of the circumstance more.
[Draus. Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is
Enter two OFFICERS. he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to
Fab. O good Sir Toby, hold ; here come the read him by his form, as you are like to lind officers. him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed,
Sir To. I'll be with you anon. (To ANTONIO, Sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal oppo
Vio. Pray, Sir, put up your sword, if you sitet that you could possibly have found in any
[To Sir ANDREW. part of Illyria : Will you walk towards him? 1 Sir And. Marry, will I, Sir;-and, for that I will make your peace with him, if I can. promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I
will bear you easily, and reins well. am one, that would rather go with sir priest,
1 Off. This is the man; do thy office. than sir knight: I care not who knows so much 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of my mettle.
[Exeunt. Of count Orsino.
Ant. You do mistake me, Sir. Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir ANDREW. 1 Of. No, Sir, no jot; I know your favour Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have Though now you have no sea-cap on your
[head.not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, Take him away; he knows, I know him well. rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the
Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seeking stuck-in, with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays youş
you; as surely as your feet hit the ground they step But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. on: They say, he has been fencer to the sophy. What will you do? Now my necessity
Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Much more, for what I cannot do for you, Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.
Sir And. Plague on't ; an I thought he had Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz’d; been valiant, and so cunning in fence, l'd have But be of comfort. seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him.
2 08. Come, Sir, away. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him
Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. my horse, grey Capilet.
Vio. What money, Sir? Sir To.' i'll make the motion : Stand here, 1 For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, make a good show on't; this shall end without And, part, being prompted by your present the perdition of souls: Marry, I'll ride your
Out of my lean and low ability (trouble, horse as well as I ride you.
I'll make division of my present with you: I have his horse [TO FAB.] to take up the quar- Hold, there is half my coffer. rel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. Ant. Will you deny me now?
Fub. He is as horribly conceited] of him; and Is’t possible, that my deserts to you pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, heels.
Lest that it make me so unsound a man, Sir To. There's no remedy, Sir; he will fight As to upbraid you with those kindnesses with you for his oath sake: marry, he hath bet- That I have done for you. ter bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds
Vio. I know of none; that now scarce to be worth talking of: there- Nor know I you by voice, or any feature : fore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he I hate ingratitude more in a man, protests, he will not hurt you.
Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption would make me tell them how much I lack of Inhabits our frail blood.
Ant. O heavens themselves! Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. 2 of Comė, Sir, I pray you, go. Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no reme- Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that dy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake,
you see here, have one bout with you: he cannot by the I snatch'd one halt out of the jaws of death ; duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as
Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt And to his image, which, methought, did proyou. Come on; to't.
mise Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath! Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
1 Off: What's that to us? The time goes by; Enter ANTONIO.
Ant. But, 0, how vile an idol proves this I do assure you, 'tis against my will.
(sbame.[Draws. Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature Ant. Put up your sword ;-If this young In nature there's no blemish but the mind; gentleman
None can be call'd deform’d, but tiz unkind : Have done offence, I take the fault on me; Virtue is beauty ; but the beauteous-evil If you offend him, I for him defy you.
Are empty trunks, o'erflourish’d* by the devil,
[Drawing. 1 Of The man grows mad; away with him. Sir To. You, Sir ? why, what are you? Come, come, Sir. Ant. One, Sir, that for his love dares yet do Ant. Lead me on,
[Exeunt OFFICERS, with ANTONIO. Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Vio. Methinks, his words do from such pas.
sion tly, * Decision
+ Adversary. Stocata, an Italian term in fencing. Does for you.
That he believes himself; so do not I. 11 Horrid conception.
Laws of duel.
Prove true, imagination, 0, prove true, lyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no
Sir To. Come hither knight; come hither, Seb. Let go thy hand.
Come, my young soldier, put up your iron :
(Druws. Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have love!
[Erit. an ounce or two of this malapert blood from Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and you.
[Draw's. more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty ap
Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee,
hold. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, re
Sir To. Madam? ligious in it.
Oli. Will it be ever thus ? Ungracious wretch, Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, him,
Where manners ne'er were preach'd ! out of my Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw
Be not offended, dear Cesario:
(E.rit. Rudesby,* be gone!-! pr’ythee, gentle friend, Fab. Come, let's see the event.
(Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and Fabian. Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be no
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway thing yet.
[Exeunt. In this uncivil and unjust extentt
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house ; ACT IV.
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks SCENE I.-The Street before Olivia's House. This ruffian hath botch'd up,t that thou thereby
May'st smile at this : thou shalt not choose but
He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
be rul'd by me! Seb. I pr’ythee, ventt thy folly somewhere Seb. Madam, I will. Thou know'st not me.
(else; Oli. O, say so, and so be! [Exeunt. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word
SCENE II.-A Room in Olivia's House. of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great
Enter Maria and CLOWN. lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I Mar. Nay, I pr’ythee, put on this gown, and pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell this beard; make him believe, thou art Sir ine what I shall vent to my lady; Shall I vent Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call Sir to her, that thou art coming ?
Toby the whilst.
[Exit MARIA. Seb. I pr’ythee, foolish Greek, depart from Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemme;
blell myself in't; and I would I were the first There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, that ever dissembled in such a gown.
I am I shall give worse payment.
not fat enough to become the function well; Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand :
nor lean enough to be thought a good student: These wise men, that give fools money, get but to be said, an honest man and a good themselves a good report after fourteen years' housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful purchase.
man, and a great scholar. The competitors
Enter Sir TOBY Belch and MARIA.
[Striking SEBASTIAN. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson.
hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, Are all the people mad? (Beating Sir ANDREW. very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc,
Sir To. Hold, Sir, or I'll throw your dagger That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am o'er the house.
master parson; For what is that, but that? Clo. This will I tell my lady straight; I would and is, but is ? not be in some of your coats for two-pence.
Sir To. To him, Sir Topas.
[Exit Clown. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison ! Sir To. Come on, Sir; hold.
Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good (Holding Sebastian. knave. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll
Mal. [In an inner chamber. ] Who calls there? way to work with him; I'll have an action of Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit battery against him, if there be any law in Il-Malvolio the lunatic.
Made up. In the reflection of my own figure. + let out,
* Rude fellow.
Ili betide. ll Disguise. 1 Confederates F
Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, , me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, go to my lady.
and do all they can to face me out of my Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou wits. this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies ? Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister Sir To. Well said, master parson.
is here.--Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heaMal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wrongen: vens restore! endeavour thyselt' to sleep, and good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they leave thy vain bibble babble. have laid me here in hideous darkness.
Mal, Sir Topas, Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee Clo. Maintain no words with him, good felby the most modest terms; for I am one of those low.-Who, I, Sir? not I, Sir. God b'wi'you, gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with good Sir Topas.-Marry, amen.—I will, Sir, I courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark? will. Mal. As hell, Sir Topas.
Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows* transparent Clo. Alas, Sir, be patient. What say you, as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards Sir ? I am shent* for speaking to you. the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and yet complainest thou of obstruction ?
some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you, wits, as any man in Illyria. this kouse is dark.
Clo. Well-a-day,--that you were, Sir! Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee
Mal. I say, this house is as dark as igno- more than ever the bearing of letter did. rance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, and I say, there was never man thus abused: 1 are you not mad indeed ? or do you but counam no more mad than you are; make the trial terseit? of it in any constant question.t
Mul. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, con- Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till cerning wild-fowl?
I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and Mal. That the soul of our grandam might paper, and ink. haply inhabit a bird.
Nal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest deClo. What thinkest thou of his opinion ? gree: I pr’ythee, begone.
Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way Clo. I am gone, Sir, approve his opinion.
And anon, Sir, Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in
l'u be with you again, darkness : thou shalt hold the opinion of Py
In a trice; thagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear
Like to the old vice,t to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul
Your need to sustain ; of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas,
Who with dagger of lath, Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas !
In his rage und his wrath, Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.
Cries, ah, lu ! to the devil: Mar. Thou might'st have done this without
Like a mad lud, thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not.
Pure thy nails, dad, Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring
Adieu, goodman drivel. [Erit. me word how thou findest him: I would, we
SCENE III.-Olivia's Garden. were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were ; for I
Enter SEBASTIAN. am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the
Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't: (E.reunt Sir TOBY and Maria. And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin,
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then i
I could not find him at the Elephant :
That he did range the town to seek me out. Mal. Fool,
His counsel now might do me golden service: Clo. Alas, why is she so ?
For though my soul disputes well with my Mal. Fool, I say ;
sense, Clo. She loves another Who calls, ha ?
That this may be some error, but no madness, Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune Well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, So far exceed all instance, all discourse, ink, and paper; as 1 ann a gendeman, I will That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, live to be thankful to thee for't.
And wrangle with my reason, that persuades Clo. Master Malvolio!
To any other trust,ll but that I am mad, [me Mal. Ay, good fool.
Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, Clo. Alas, Sir, how fell you besides your five She could not sway her house, command her wits ?
followers, 1 ously abused : I am as well in my wits, fool, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearMal. Fool, there was never man so notori- | Take, and give back, affairs, and their des
[ing, as thou art.
Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.
That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Mal. They have here propertied me ,il keep
* Scolded, reprimanded. * Bow windows
+ Regular conversation. + A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of Any other gem, as a Topaz.
the modern harlequin Senses.
1 Taken possession of. Account Reason. || Belief. Servants.
Enter OLIVIA and a PRIEST.
I come again. I go, Sir; but I would not have Oli. Blame not this haste of mine : If you you to think, that my desire of having is the mean well,
sin of covetousness: but, as you say, Sir, let Now go with me, and with this holy man,
your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. Into the chantry* by: there, before him,
[Exit Clown. And underneath that consecrated roof,
Enter ANTONIO and OFFICERS. Plight me the full assurance of your faith; That my most jealous and too doubtful soul Vio. Here comes the man, Sir, that did rescue May live at peace: He shall conceal it, Whilest you are willing it shall come to note; Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear’d.
Duke. That face of his I do remember well; What time we will our celebration keep According to my birth.—What do you say?
As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: Seb. I'lĩ follow this good man, and go with A bawbling vessel was he captain of, you;
For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable; And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. With which such scathful* grapple did he make Oli. Then lead the way, good father ;–And With the most noble bottom of our fleet, heavens so shine,
That very envy, and the tongue of loss, That they may fairly note this act of mine! Cried fame and honour on him,- What's the
1 Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, ACT V.
That took the Phoenix, and her fraught,t from SCENE I.-The Street before Olivia's House. And this is he, that did the Tiger board,
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and letter.
state, Clo. Good master Fabian, grant me another In private brabble did we apprehend him. request.
Vio. He did me kindness, Sir ; drew on my Fab. Any thing
side; Clo. Do not desire to see this letter.
But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me, Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recom- I know not what 'twas, but distraction. pense, desire my dog again.
Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief!
What foolish boldness brought thee to their Enter Duke, VIOLA, and Attendants.
mercies, Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends? Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Clo. Ay, Sir; we are some of her trappings. Hast made thine enemies?
Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my Ant. Orsino, noble Sir, good fellow?
Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you Clo. Truly, Sir, the better for my foes, and
give me; the worse for my friends.
Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, friends.
Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither: Clo. No, Sir, the worse.
That most ungrateful boy there, by your side, Duke. How can that be ?
From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth Clo. Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was: an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly, I am His life I gave him, and did thereto add an ass: so that by my foes, Sir, I profit in the My love, without retention, or restraint abused : so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if Did I expose myself, pure for his love, your four negatives make your two affirmatives, Into the danger of this adverse town; why, then the worse for my friends, and the Drew to defend him, when he was beset; better for my foes.
Where being apprehended, his false cunning, Duke. Why, this is excellent.
(Not meaning to partake with me in danger,) Clo. By my troth, Sir, po; though it please Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance, you to be one of my friends.
And grew a twenty-years-removed thing, Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; While one would wink; denied me mine own there's gold.
purse, Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, which I had recommended to his use Sir, I would you could make it another. Not half an hour before. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.
Vio. How can this be? Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, Sir, for Duke. When came be to this town? this once, and let
your flesh and blood obey it. Ant. To-day, my lord ; and for three months Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be
before, a double-dealer; there's another.
(No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; Both day and night did we keep company. and the old saying is, the third pays for all:
Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. the triplex, Sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, Sir, may put you in Duke. Here comes the countess ; now heaven mind; One, two, three.
walks on earth. Duke. You can fool no more money out of, But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are me at this throw: if you will let your lady
madness : know, I am here to speak with her, and bring Three months this youth hath tended upon me; her along with you, it may awake my bounty But more of that apon.--Take him aside. further.
Oli. What would my lord, but that he may Clo. Marry, Sir, lullaby to your bounty, till not have, • Little chapel. + Until.