66 Gave with his hand my chaise a shove, Speak to 'em, little Nan. You've only got to curtsey, whisp- And then you're sure to take: I've known the day when brats, not quite But while I'm speaking, where's papa? And now, good gentlefolks, I go I curtsey like a pretty miss, And if you'll blow to me a kiss, I'll blow a kiss to you. [Blows a kiss, and exit.] James Smith LARRIE O'DEE Now the Widow McGee, And Larrie O'Dee, Had two little cottages out on the green, With just room enough for two pig-pens between. One morning said he: "Och! Misthress McGee, It's a waste of good lumber, this runnin' two rigs, "If ye fale in your heart we are mane to the pigs, Ain't we mane to ourselves to be runnin' two rigs? Och! it made me heart ache when I paped through the cracks Of me shanty, lasht March, at yez shwingin' yer axe; "Now, piggy," says she, "Larrie's courtin' o' me, Wid his dilicate tinder allusions to you; So now yez must tell me jisht what I must do: " William W. Fink TIM TURPIN Tim Turpin he was gravel blind, There's some have specs to help their sight Of objects dim and small; But Tim had specks within his eyes, And could not see at all. Now Tim he wooed a servant maid, By day she led him up and down But just when Tim had lived a month A surgeon oped his Milton eyes, But when his eyes were opened thus, Her face was bad, her figure worse, For she was anything but like He knocked at his wife's head until And when the corpse was stiff and cold, He took his slaughtered spouse, And laid her in a heap with all The ashes of her house. But, like a wicked murderer, The neighbors fetched a doctor in: But when another week was gone, Ah! when he hid his bloody work, How little he supposed the truth But when the parish dustman came, A dozen men to try the fact, But though they all were jurors, yet Said Tim unto those jurymen, "And O, when I reflect upon The blood that I have spilt, Just like a button is my soul, Inscribed with double guilt!" Then turning round his head again He saw before his eyes A great judge, and a little judge, The great judge took his judgment-cap, And sentenced Tim by law to hang So he was tried, and he was hung On Horsham drop, and none can say Thomas Hood THE ELF - CHILD Little Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay, An' wash the cups and saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away, An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth an' sweep An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board an' keep; An' all us other children, when the supper things is done, Ef you Watch Onc't they was a little boy who wouldn't say his prayers bawl, An' when they turn't the kivvers down he wasn't there at all! |