loss for Christ: my boasted reason I discover to be a blind guide, until humbled, enlighted, and sanctified by the Spirit of God; my former wisdom I now know to have been foolishness, and that when I thought I knew much, I knew nothing as I ought to know. Since this period, every thing I have experienced in my own heart, every thing I have heard and read, every thing I observe around me, confirms and establishes me in the assured belief of those truths, which I have received; nor do I in general any more doubt their being from God, than I doubt, whether the sun shines, when I see its light, and am warmed with its refreshing beams. I see the powerful effects of them continually amongst those, to whom I preach. I experience the power of them daily in my own soul; and whilst by meditating on, and rejoicing in the cross of Christ, I find the world crucified unto me, and I unto theworld. By preaching Jesus Christ, and him crucified, I see notoriously immoral persons influenced to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, and to live soberly, righteously, and godly in this pre

sent world, being an example to such as before they were a scandal to.

And now by this change, the conse quences of which I so much dreaded, what have I lost even in respect of this present world? Indeed I have lost some degree of favor, and escape not pity, censure, scorn, and opposition; but the Lord is introducing me to a new, and far more desirable acquaintance; even to that of those, whom the Holy Ghost hath denominated the excellent of the earth; nay the Lord the Spirit conde. scends to be my comforter. In general I enjoy an established peace of conscience, through the blood of sprinkling, and continual application to the heavenly Advocate; with a sweet content, and that peace of God, which passeth all understanding in casting all my cares upon him, who careth for me. And I am not left utterly without experience of that joy, which is unspeakable and full of glory. These the world could not give me, were I in favor with it; of these it cannot deprive me by its frowns. My desire henceforth, God knoweth, is to live to his glory, and by my whole

conduct and conversation, to adorn the doctrine of God my Savior, and to shew forth his praise, who hath called me out of darkness into his marvellous light; to be in some way or other useful to his believing people; and to invite poor sinners, who are walking in a vain shadow, and disquieting themselves in vain, to taste and see how gracious the Lord is, and how blessed they are, who pat their trust in him.

Now would I tell to sinners round,
What a dear Savior I have found;
Would point to his redeeming blood,
And cry, behold the way to God!

Thus hath the Lord led me, a poor blind sinner, in a way, that I knew not; he hath made darkness light before me, crooked things straight, and hard things easy; and hath brought me to a place, of which I little thought when I set out; and having done these things for me, I believe, yea I am undoubtedly sure, he will never leave me, nor forsake me. To him be the glory of his undeserved, long resisted grace; to me be the shame, not only of all my other sins, but also of my proud and perverse opposition_to his of love towards me. purposes

11

But

all this was permitted, that my high spirit and stout heart being at length humbled and subdued, I might remember, and be confounded, and never open my mouth more, because of my shame, now that the Lord is pacified to me, for all that I have done.

And now, as in the presence of the heartsearching God, I have given without one wilful misrepresentation, addition, or material omission, an hitory of the great things, God hath done for my soul; or if that suit not your view of it, an history of that change, which hath recently taken place in my religious sentiments and conduct, to the surprise of some, and, perhaps, displeasure of others of my former friends. The doc trines which I have now received, are indeed charged with being desructive of moral practice, and tending to licentiousness; but, though I know, that my best righteousnesses are as filthy rags, yet, I trust, I may return thanks to God, that, by his grace he hath so upheld me, since this change took place, that I have not been permitted to disgrace the cause in which I have embark

ed, by any immoral conduct. My rejoicing in this respect, is this, that in simplicity, and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God I have my conversation in the world. And sincerely I may avow, that the be lief of these doctrines, hath a quite contrary effect upon me, I most heartily desire, aim, endeavor, and pray to be enabled to love God and keep his commandments, without partiality and without hypocrisy, and so to demean myself, as by well doing to put to silence the ignorance of foolish men. That I fall so very far short in every thing, is not the effect of my new doctrines, but of my old depraved nature, and deceitful heart. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me!

PART III.

Containing Observations on the foregoing Narrative.

My design in writing this account of myself, and my religious inquiries, and change of sentiments, was as follows. I considered myself a singular instance of