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ed to entertain an implacable enmity to the doctrine of election, and those connected with it. But my faith was now fixed upon a crucified Savior; (though I dishonored his person, and denied his deity,) and I had a sincere desire of being devoted to the Lord. He, therefore, in mercy, accepted his own work in my heart, and pardoned all that was mine; and at length extricated me out of that labyrinth of difficulties, in which I was entangled.

About this time, in the course of my lectures, our Lord's discourse with Nicodemus came again under my consideration. Notwithstanding much meditation, and many prayers, I could not satisfy my mind about it. I was convinced some internal change must be impli ed in the expressions, being born from above, and being born of the Spirit; and, according to what I had experienced, I endeavored to explain it; but I was much in the dark, and had many doubts, whether I was right or wrong.

Hitherto, excepting "Leland on the Deistical writers," I had not read any

book, written by a dissenter, with the least degree of candor and attention ; but, at this crisis, I met with the first volume of Doctor Evan's sermons, entitled "The Christian Temper." I was induced to read it, by the recommendation of a friend; but such was my proud, foolish heart, that I opened it with great prejudice, because I understood the author was a dissenter. However, this book came with a blessing; for, by perusing it, I at length perceived, that fallen man, both body and soul, is indeed carnal, and sold unto sin; that, by nature, in every man living, the reasonable and immortal part is destitute of spirituality, immersed in matter, and, by dishonorable and miserable prostitution, is given up to make provision for the flesh to fulfil the lust thereof and, that man must be renewed in the spirit of his mind, new created unto good works, born of the spirit of God, made partaker of a new and divine nature, before he can possibly be made meet for, or admitted into the kingdom of God. In a very little time,

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all my difficulties about this matter vanished, and the truth became so exceedingly plain and evident, that until I had made the experiment, I could scarce be, persuaded, but that every person, who heard it rightly explained, must assent to it. This doctrine I have ever since invariably preached, with good effect, I trust, in opening the eyes of sinners, and turning them from darkness unto light, and from the power of Satan unto God. (Acts chap. xxvi. verse 28.) About this time, my acquaintance with Mr. was resumed. From the conclusion of our correspondence in December 1775 till April 1777, it had been almost wholly dropped. To speak plainly, I did not care for his company, I did not mean to make any use of him as an instructor, and was unwilling the world should think us any ways connected. But under discouraging cir cumstances, I had occasion to call upon him; and his discourse comforted and edefied me, and my heart, being by his means relieved from its burden, became susceptible of affection to him. From

that time, I was inwardly pleased to have him for my friend; though, not as now, rejoiced to call him so. However, I had no thoughts of learning doctrinal truth from him, and was ashamed to be detected in his company; but I sometimes stole away, to spend an hour with him. About the same time, I once heard him preach, but it was still foolishness to me, his sermon being much upon the believer's experience; and, therefore, though I loved and valued him, I considered him as a person misled by enthusiastical notions; and strenuously insisted, that we should never think alike till we met in heaven.

All along, in the progress of this inquiry, I grew more and more concerned about my character. I saw myself continually verging nearer and nearer to that scheme of doctrine, which the world called Methodism; nor could I help it, without doing violence to my convictions. I had indeed set out with the avowed, and, I trust, sincere resolution of seeking for the truth, as impartially as possible; and of embracing it,

wherever I found it, without respect to interest, reputation, or any worldly consideration whatsoever. I had taken patiently, and supported comfortably, the loss of my opening prospect of preferment, I trust mainly from the supports of grace, and the consciousness of hav ing acted with integrity; but I am not sure, but there might therewith creep in some consolation to my deceitful heart, from a vain imagination, that my character would be no loser. Ambi. tious thirst after the praise of men, was much more my peculiar corruption than covetousness; and I had been in no or. dinary degree proud of my natural understanding. The people called Methodists, I had been accustomed to hear mentioned with contempt, as very silly, as fools, and sometimes as madmen: with no small degree of complacency and self-preference, I too had despised them as weak enthusiasts. But I now began to be apprehensive, that the ta bles were about to be turned upon me. If I professed and teached these doctrines, I must no longer be considered

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