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a man of sober understanding; but one of those persons, whose heads being naturally weak, had been turned by re ligious studies; and who, having fallen under the power of enthusiasm, are become no better than fools.

This was the sharpest trial I passed through, having not yet learned, that "when we are reproached for the name of Christ, happy are we." Nor did I remember, that the Apostles were fools for Christ's sake; were deemed to be beside themselves; went through evil report, and good report; as deceivers, andyet true; that they were every where spoken against, as the fellows that turned the world upside down; were treated as vain bablers, and accounted the filth of the world, and the off-scouring of all things. I did not consider, that Jesus himself, the brightness of the Father's glory, the Word and Wisdom of God, who went about doing good, and spake as never man spake, was not only rejected, but despised; as not worth hearing; as one that had a devil; as in league with the devil; as a

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blasphemer, a Samaritan, a madman, a devil himself. I read indeed, but my understanding was not yet opened to understand such plain Scriptures, as these, John ch, xv. v. 19, 20, "If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world; therefore, the world hateth you. Remember the word, that I said unto you; the servant is not greater than the Lord if they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you." And Matt, ch. x. v. 24, 25, "The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his Lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of the household?" And Matt. ch. v. v. 11, 12, "Blessed are ye when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad, for great is your reward in heaven; for so persecuted they the prophets, that were before you." Not be

ing aware of these consequences, when my resolution was first formed, I was as one, who hath begun to build without counting the cost, and was greatly disturbed, when I saw the favorite idol of my proud heart, my character, in such imminent danger.

It must be supposed, this would make me cautious what doctrines I admitted into my creed; and, unwilling to be convinced, that those things were true and important, the profession of which was sure to bring infamy on my character; and that, even after the fullest conviction, I should thereby be render'ed very careful in what manner I preached them. In general, however, though the conflict was sharp, I was enabled to be faithful. The words, "necessity is laid upon me, yea, woe is me, if I preach not the gospel," were commonly upon my mind, when I penned my sermons, and when I entered the pulpit: and though, when a bold declaration of what I believed to be the truth, with an offensive application of it to the consciences of my hearers, drew opposition

and calumny upon me, I have secretly resolved to be more circumspect the next time; yet, when that time came, my heart and conscience being both engaged, I have not dared to conceal one tittle of what appeared to me to be true, and to promise usefulness. But whilst, with perturbation of mind, and with many disquieting apprehensions, I declared the message, with which I supposed myself to be entrusted, to screen myself from the charge of Methodism, and to soften the offence, I was frequently throwing out slighting expressions, and bringing the charge of enthusiasm against those, who preached such doctrines, as I was not yet convinced of. On the other hand, my concern about my character quickened me very much in prayer, and increased my diligence in searching the Scriptures, that I might be sure that I was not, at this expense, preaching cunningly devised fables, instead of feeding the souls committed to my care, with the unadulterated milk of gospel truth.

In this state of mind, which is easier

understood by experience, than description, I met with Mr. Venn's Essay on the Prophecy of Zecharias. I was no stranger to the character he bore in the eye of the world, and did not begin to read his book with great alacrity or expectation; however, the importance of the subject, therein treated of, engaged my attention, and some degree impartially, as I proceeded. I disapproved, indeed, and quarrelled with many things; but others evidenced their truth and importance to my understanding and conscience, especially I. found a word in season, respecting my weak and wicked shame and attention to character, in inquiring after truth, and in the performance of the important duties of a gospel minister. These solemn words, in particular, went home to my heart."If the spirit of the world, pride, carelessness respecting the soul, and the neglect of Christ, be not hateful to God, and destructive to men, the gospel, (with reverence I speak it,) is an imposition. Do you abhor that thought as blasphemy? Abhor as