much a fawning upon Christ from year to year in your closet, calling him there your Lord and your God; and then coming out to consult the world, how far they will allow you to obey his plain commands, without saying, you are a Methodist. Cease rather to profess any allegiance to Christ, than treat him, under professions of duty, with such contempt. I would, saith he to the church of Laodicea, thou wert cold or hot, so then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." Rev. ch. iii. v. 15,

16.

I should as easily be convinced, that there was no Holy Ghost, as that he was not present with my soul, when I read this passage, and the whole of what Mr. Venn has written upon the subject. It came to my heart with such power, conviction, and demonstration of the Spirit, that it lifted me up above the world, and produced that victory, which faith alone can give; and that liberty, which uniformly attends the presence of the Spirits of the Lord.

I became, at once, ashamed of my base ingratitude, and foolish fears; and was filled with such consolation, and rejoicing even in the prospect of sacrificing my character, and running the risk of infamy and contempt, as made me entirely satisfied on that head; and some few unbelieving seasons excepted. I have ever since been very little troubled about being accounted an enthusiast, or a methodist.

But still I remained, as much, and am now more afraid of enthusiasm itself than ever; and the nearer I verged to what I had ignorantly supposed to be enthusiasm, the more apprehensive I became, lest my earnestness in such interesting inquiries, and the warmth of my natural spirit, thus occasionally increased, should put me off my guàrd, and betray me into delusions and mistakes. From this danger I could obtain no security, but by keeping close to the study of the word of God; and by being earnest and particular in praying to be preserved from enthusiasm, and to be enabled to distinguish between the pure

revelations of the Holy Spirit, and the inventions of men, or the delusions of the spirit of lies.

The doctrine of a Trinity of coequal persons in the Unity of the Godhead had been hitherto no part of my creed. I had long been accustomed to despise this great mystery of godliness; I had quarrelled with the articles of the established church about this doctrine; I had been very positive and open in my declarations against it; and my unhumbled reason still retained objections to it. But, about June, 1777, I began to be troubled with doubts about it, and to suspect the truth of Dr Clark's hypothesis. I had just read Mr. Lindsey's Apology and Sequel. Before I saw them, I had made a jest of those, who thought of confuting him on the orthodox scheme, and was not without thoughts of maintaining Dr. Clark's system against him. But when I understood, that he claimed Dr. Clark as a Socinian,I was surprised, and engaged in much anxious consideration of the subject. The more I studied, the more

I was dissatisfied. Many things now first occurred to me, as strong objections against my own sentiments on that head; and being perplexed, and unable to make out a scheme for myself, I ea. sily perceived, that I was not qualified to dispute with another person. My pride and my convictions struggled hard for the victory; I was very unwilling to become a Trinitarian, in the strict sense of the word; though, in my own sense, I had for some time pretended to be one, and yet, the more I considered it, the more I was dissatisfied with all other systems. My esteem for Mr.

was also now very much increased; and though I had hitherto concealed this part of my sentiments from him, yet I knew his to be very different; and though I was not willing to be taught by him in other matters, yet, in this respect, finding his opinion the same, which in all former ages of the church, hath been accounted orthodox. whilst that, which I held, had all along been branded as heretical; my fears of a mistake were thereby exceed ingly increased. in this perplexity, I

applied to the Lord, and besought him to lead me to a settled conclusion, what was the truth. After much meditation upon the subject, together with a careful examination of all the Scriptures, which I then understood to relate thereto, accompanied with hearty prayer for divine teaching, I was at length constrained to renounce, as utterly indefensible, all my former sentiments, and to accede to that doctrine, which I had 'so long despised. I saw, and I could no longer avoid seeing, that the offices and works attributed in Scripture to the Son and Holy Ghost, are such, as none, but the infinite God could perform; that it is a contradiction to believe the real, and consequently infinite satisfaction to divine justice, made by the death of Christ, without believing him to be very God of very God; nor could the Holy Ghost give spiritual life unto, and dwell in the hearts of all believers at the same time, to suit his work of convincing, enlightening, teaching, strengthening, sanctifying, and comforting, to the several cases of every in