(He throws his head back and laughs long) Ho-ho-haha [and sits on Margaret's lap. MARGARET. Get up, Caspar, - - how dare you! CASPAR (still laughing). Say, Margo, when you get your three wishes, life will be one song and dance. Come on, Margo, let's dance! [He gets up and dances, joined later by Margaret. Dance with encore, if necessary. Margaret falls exhausted into chair. CASPAR (Stretches exhausted on table. He yawns, stretches legs and arms, and then sits up). Do you know, Margaret, what I feel like now? MARGARET. I suppose you'll be saying another cup of ale! MARGARET. It's so long since I've tasted sausages, I'd not know one if it bowed to me. CASPAR (getting off table). Yes (Turns round) Sausages, - nice, crisp, crackling, brown sausages. MARGARET. Sizzling in the pan. CASPAR. Brown and bursting! Oh-oh! MARGARET. Oh, I wish we had some sausages now! [Flash of lightning, thunder. Margaret and Caspar fall flat on floor in terror. Sausages are on the table. CASPAR (raising his head in terror). Are you alive? MARGARET I don't know, are you? CASPAR. What happened? — It was like a flash of lightning! MARGARET. What would lightning be doing on a fair day? CASPAR. It left a pleasant smell behind it, though. Sniff now. (They both sniff) If I told you what my nose says, you'd laugh. (She sniffs) It says, sausages! MARGARET. It does smell like sausages, new fried! CASPAR. It's stronger this side. (He rises slowly, looks down at sausages) Look! It's your wish come true! MARGARET. Where? [Getting up. CASPAR. There, as I am alive, a plateful of sausages! MARGARET (sobbing). Oh-oh! Sausages!! CASPAR. Hush — hush, woman. It's no sorrow. It's a bless ing. MARGARET. It's a wish come true. Martin will beat me. One wish gone out of the ring. Oh-oh-oh! CASPAR (smelling sausages). Nothing is wrong with these sausages. They're good to eat! (Margaret sobs) It's true you might have wished for a cart-load. Martin couldn't have got mad at that! Let's sit down and eat the dish clean and not tell him a word about it. He'll think the fairy cheated him. They're deceitful things, those fairies! MARGARET. Well, I don't want a beating. Sit down, eat quick and we'll stuff. DOG. Runs across stage towards entrance door and barks. MARGARET. Be quiet, Fritz!—Oh, he hears Martin. (Martha's voice is heard outside) He'll be as mad as murder. (Caspar get up and begins walking off stage) Stop, Caspar, -I won't take all the blame alone! It was your fault! CASPAR. I think I left my cap outside. [Exit Caspar. MARGARET. Come back, you coward! [Dog enters, barking and jumping. Martin follows. Margaret is sobbing on the table. MARTIN. It's all settled in the wisest way. We're to have What's that smell? (Looks at Margaret) What's the matter with you, Margaret? (Looks at sausages) Sausages! Where'd they come from? -- MARGARET. It was all Caspar's fault! It was. He sang and danced, and addled my brain! His mouth watered for sausages. Before I knew it I was wishing for them! woroo woroo! MARTIN. You wished for sausages and you had the ring? MARGARET (sobbing). I forgot all about the ring. MARTIN (walking over to Margaret). So you've wasted a fairy wish. I'll show you! Take that and that! [Beats her. MARGARET. Help, Caspar - help, Caspar! [Caspar appears a moment, but immediately runs away as Martin continues his beating. MARTIN. Take that - I'll teach you to be wasting wishes! Where's the ring? Give me back that ring! Margaret hands back ring to Martin) Only two wishes left in it now. Cripes, I could bite my thumbs off! CASPAR (reappearing. Be quiet, Martin, two wishes are enough for a simple, quiet man like you! Be sensible. Sit down with us and eat the sausages. MARGARET. Do, Martin, they taste like a salted rainbow! MARTIN. What, eat sausages with you! - You, who have wasted a wish between you!! Cripes, I wish they were growing to the end of your nose!!! (Flash of lightning. Martin falls flat. Margaret falls on table and Caspar over back of chair) What was that? CASPAR. Another wish come true! It's a rough way the fairies have. MARTIN (getting up). Another wish! What wish? CASPAR. That the sausages were grown on Margaret's nose. MARTIN. What do you mean? MARGARET. It's true-it's true! They're grown to me as fast as the tail to a cat. Oh-h-h! I'm a ruined woman. Look-look! MARTIN. They can't be grown to you. Caspar! Pull them off! CASPAR (touching them). Aw! They're hot-they burnt me. MARGARET. Oh oh — I am a ruined woman! CASPAR (laughing inwardly). Never mind. It's not every woman who can nibble her own nose for breakfast! [He laughs. MARTIN. Stop laughing. I tell you stop! Two wishes gone! Two-aw, what good's the third. What good to be rich like the Duke with that beside me for a wife! (He points to Margaret) Look at her look! An elephant with his nose in curl paper. (Caspar gives suppressed laughter.) Stop swinging them, I say! I can't bear it! This ring has brought nothing but torment. By magic they came and by magic they must go. I wish the sausages were off Margaret's nose! [Thunder and lightning. Martin, Margaret and Caspar fall to the floor. The Fairy appears. |