"There was no kindness in my heart, A child! Oh, God! that unto me "I loved him-cursed him with my love! And yet he saved me not! "I dragged him with me night and day, Poor child! through scorn and shame ; I hid him with me in the haunts Where but the wicked came : "There were three of us bound in a dreadful oath, To do a deed of blood, In the Church of Christ we pledged ourselves To that vile brotherhood. "I took the little child with me, In my affection desperate-hearted; I bound him in my oath, that we In any chance might not be parted! "Nor were we parted we were cast Into a horrid dungeon-place; I could not see my hand at noon, "And yet I felt it mattered not, While he was with me, where we lay; "At length, when many weeks were gone, And his complainings chafed my blood, How shall I tell thee !-day by day Went on, and yet they brought no food! "In hell my torment has been great, My misery inexpressible, And yet the torment of that time Was fiercer than all pangs of hell! "I raved for help-I clasped the child— I smote my breast, and fiercely cursed,— And, in my madness of despair, I strove my prison walls to burst. "For me, I heeded not my pangs I bared my arm, and bade him eat! Life was a boon I did not prize But for the weak thing at my feet. Many days went on, many dreadful days, I lay as in a deadly dream; My rage had spent my strength. "My utterest, hopeless misery "Then in a changed and feeble tone "Where got you, child, that prayer?' I cried, "This was the one pang that I lacked, The crowning to my misery given,— Wretch that I was! for one so pure Could only have a place in heaven! "And we must part,-Oh God! oh God! And at that time I tried to pray ;— But I was not a sinless child; I could not find a word to say. "Another frenzy seized my brain, "My doom it is a dreadful one, "But hark! the second cock doth crow--- Farewell-farewell! I must not stay." With this the widow clasped her hands, And "Woe's me!" in her grief she said, "Woe's me! woe's me, that I'm a mother That I have looked upon the dead! "My sons! my pride-my sinful boast! My earliest thought each coming morn, My latest joy each parting eve! Would God, that ye had ne'er been born! "Was it for this ye grew in strength' For this, to comely manhood grew? "Peace! peace!" the youngest spake, "mother, And let thy wailing ended be!— If the third cock crow, I must away, And I am come from heaven to thee. "They sinned-alas! they darkly sinned! And the angels of bliss shed tears for them; Their place in heaven is empty still, And all unwon their diadem! "Of their penal doom I may not speak, "For me, when I left my pleasant home, To the city I too sped, And with the young, for many a year, An idle life I led. "We lived with the world's most beautiful; We raised the wine-cup high; We crowned ourselves with the summer's rose, And let no flower pass by. |