"THE CLUB."

No. VIII.-FRIDAY, MAY 10, 1822.

Here yon a muckworm of the town might see,
At his dall desk, amid his ledgers stall'd,
Eat up with carking care and penury;
Most like to carcase perch'd on gallows-tree.
"A penny saved is a penny got:"
Firm to this scoundrel maxim keepeth he,
Ne, of its rigour will he bate a jot.

THOMSON,

It is probable that the spirit of party had something to do in producing such representations. A great majority of the puritans and independents, the adherents of the long parliament, and of Cromwell, were to be found amongst the tradesmen, who were frequently at once dissenters and roundheads. The wits were generally of the royalist party, dependent upon men of dissolute lives, and the companions of their excesses. When the return of the second Charles gave to these men the ascendency, they would have considered their triumph as incomplete, if they could not have IT has before been stated that our Club is rendered their adversaries ridiculous. This composed partly of men of business, and was probably one cause of the contemptible partly of persons who are engaged in profes- light in which tradesmen were exhibited on the sions. It is perhaps owing to this circum-stage; and the character once introduced, was too valuable as a constant source of mirth, to stance, that we have occasionally amused ourselves with considering those satirical delinea be soon given up. tions of the different classes of society, which are to be found in authors who profess to depict life and manners. As we have learned to bear raillery without ill-humour, we have found a good deal of entertainment in collecting and examining these little malicious representations. Our mirth, however, has not hindered us from discovering, that the witty part of mankind have given very unfair representations of their graver brethren. I shall at present consider this unfairness so far as it relates to tradesmen, and, in a future number, may probably extend my view to other classes of society.

In the dramatic writings which appeared for some time after the restoration, the tradesman took the place, which, in the time of Shakespeare, had been occupied by the clown. He was introduced only to be the butt of the superior characters. His avarice, ill-breeding, and hypocrisy, were contrasted with the careless generosity, the easy manners, and the agreeable licentiousness of the fine gentleman of the piece. His unfashionable vices were punished according to the poetic justice of the day; and the audience saw him cudgelled, cheated, and dishonoured, with great satisfaction. It was part of the dramatic morality of the age, that the children of such a parent might rob him, not only with impunity, but with applause. They gave, by so doing, a proof that they had a spirit above their birth; and when his daughter made free with his money, and threw herself, without waiting for his consent, or the sanction of the church, into the arms of some hattered rake, the poet took care to reward such filial piety, by making her an honest, as well as a happy woman, at the conclusion of the piece.

The increase of trade; the wealth acquired by many tradesmen; and the greater intercourse which took place amongst the different classes of society, gradually lessened the coarseness of those representations of men of business, which were given on the stage. Yet this reformation, like almost every other, made but a slow progress. The lines from Thomson, which I have placed at the head of this paper, are a tolerably correct representation of the opinion which the learned and polite entertained, in his day, of commercial persons. If it began to be discovered that a tradesman might be a worthy man, it was still the current opinion, that his virtues must be of a vulgar and inferior kind. Taste, literature, or politeness, he could not possibly possess. His studies must by no means extend beyond "Cocker's Arithmetic," and the Newspaper; and if he made the least pretension to any knowledge beyond that which might be acquired on the Exchange, or to more goodbreeding than could be expected at a city ball, a host of hungry wits were ready to hold him up to ridicule, and to prognosticate the speedy termination of his career, by his appearance in the gazette.

Our periodical essays furnish instances in abundance, of the mirth which was in this manner derived from the ludicrous exhibition of tradesmen. A foreigner, who should form his notions of our men of business from these writings, must conceive of them as a set of personages generally corpulent-great critics in roast-beef and turtle-soup-great consumers of port and tobacco--wearing fine clothes in an awkward manner-totally destitute of taste and literature, and too well satisfied with full purses, to be at all conscious of empty heads.

WEEKLY.

PRICE 34d.

Such are the Drippings, the Blubbers, the Grograms, the Bulls, the Gingers, the Bearskins, and a long et cetera of personages, who, together with their tawdry wives and affected daughters, are depicted by our popular essayists, or figure on the stage, as the representatives of the commercial part of this commercial nation!

Whenever we talk of these portraits at the Club, one of the members, a man of various reading, and rather quick feelings, never fails to break in upon the mirth which they occasion, by giving us an account of all the learned tradesmen whose history he remembers. If we may believe him, the divine Plato sold oil, and Demosthenes himself was in all probability a cutler. Nay, he pretends that Atticus, the bosom friend of nearly all the great writers of the Augustan age, was in fact only a considerable slave dealer. As our friend is himself a tradesman, he always speaks a little warmly on the subject, and usually concludes his catalogue of literary shop-keepers, by appealing to us against the injustice of the wits.

to

"Is it to be endured," says he, "that a set of men, whose sole merit consisted in being able to polish a period, or to manufacture rhymes; and whose lives were spent in repeat ing, in their own language, what they had read in some other, should thus hold up contempt the most useful members of society? Authors may talk as they please about mental labour, and the superiority of their pursuits over those of tradesmen,--but I could never discover that it was more difficult to select proper images, than to choose good patterns; and I am sure that it is quite as easy to avoid bad grammar, as to escape bad debts. To make a fortune, requires at least as much intellect as to make a book; and the man who raises himself to the possession of wealth by close application to business, is, in my opinion, quite as much deserving of applause, as he who gets a name, by devoting the same time to study."

I would not have the reader imagine that the other members of the Club are exactly of the same opinion as this gentleman. We give due honour to those who have enlightened and instructed mankind by their writings; nor do we by any means undervalue the authors of works of imagination. On the contrary, no writers are more frequently quoted or eulogized amongst us. We think, at the same time, that a tradesman may have a just taste in literature, and be acquainted with books, without neglecting his business; as, on the

other hand, he may be a valuable member of | have scen palates, otherwise not uninstructed of what are called a fine set of teeth. Every the community, and acquire an honourable in dietetical elegances, sup it up with avidity. pair of rosy lips (the ladies must pardon me) competency, without any relish for such pur- I know not by what particular conformation is a casket, presumably holding such jewels; suits. We think the portraits, which have of the organ it happens, but I have always but, methinks, they should take leave to been generally given of tradesmen, to be gross found that this composition is surprisingly "air" them as frugally as possible. The fine caricatures, the productions of men who had gratifying to the palate of a young chimney-lady, or fine gentleman, who show me their much more wit than knowledge of the world, sweeper--whether the oily particles (sassafras teeth, show me bones. Yet must I confess, and whose ignorance and prejudice combined is slightly oleaginous) do attenuate and soften that from the mouth of a true sweep a display to render their descriptions unfaithful. We the fuliginous concretions, which are some- (even to ostentation) of those white and shinhave never yet seen any correct delineations times found (in dissections) to adhere to the ing ossifications, strikes me as an agreeable of the mercantile character, and must be roof of the mouth in these unfledged prac- anomaly in manners, and an allowable piece allowed to remark, that to pourtray with a titioners; or whether nature, sensible that she of foppery. It is, as when faithful, and yet spirited pencil, the manners, had mingled too much of bitter wood in the and feeling, the enjoyments and sufferings, of lot of these raw victims, caused to grow out of 'so large a portion of the community, is a task the earth her sassafras for a sweet lenitive-which would require the ability of no ordinary but so it is, that no possible taste or odour to the senses of a young chimney-sweeper can convey a delicate excitement comparable to this mixture. Being penniless, they will yet hang their black heads over the ascending steam, to gratify one sense if possible, seemingly no less pleased than those domestic animals--cats---when they purr over a new found sprig of valerian. There is something more in these sympathies than philosophy can explicate.

writer.

CHIMNEY SWEEPERS.

T. P.

I like to meet a sweep-one of those tender novices, blooming through their first nigritude, the maternal washings not quite effaced from the cheek---such as come forth with the dawn, or somewhat earlier, with their little professional notes sounding like the peep peep of a young sparrow; or liker to the matin lark should I pronounce them, in their aerial ascents not seldom anticipating the sun-rise? I have a kindly yearning toward these dim specks-poor blots-innocent blacknesses--

I reverence these young Africans of our own growth--these almost clergy imps, who sport their cloth without assumption; and from their little pulpits, (the tops of chimneys), in the nipping air of a December morning, preach a lesson of patience to mankind.

1

A sable clond Turns forth her silver lining on the night. It is like some remnant of gentry not quite extinct; a badge of better days; a hint of nobility:--and, doubtless, under the obscuring darkness and double night of their forlorn disguisement, oftentimes lurketh good blood, and gentle conditions, derived from lost ancestry, and a lapsed pedigree. The premature apprenticements of these tender victims give but too much encouragement, I fear, to clandestine, and almost infantile abductions; the seeds of civility and true courtesy, so often This is Saloop--the precocious herb-woman's discernible in these young grafts (not otherdarling--the delight, and, oh I fear, too often wise to be accounted for) plainly hint at some the envy, of the unpennied sweep. Him then forced adoptions; many noble Rachels mournshouldest thou haply encounter, with his diming for their children, even in our days, counvisage pendant over the grateful steam, regale tenance the fact; the tales of fairy-spiriting him with a sumptuous basin (it will cost thee may shadow a lamentable verity, and the rebut three half-pennies) and a slice of delicate covery of the young Montagu be but a solitary bread and butter (an added half-penny)---so instance of good fortune, out of many irremay thy culinary fires, eased of the o'er-parable and hopeless defiliations. charged secretions from thy worse-placed hospitalities, curl up a lighter volume to the welkin-so may the descending soot never taint thy costly well-ingredienced soups-nor the odious cry, quick-reaching from street to street, of the fired chimney, invite the rattling engines, to disturb for a casual scintillation thy peace and pocket!

When a child, what a mysterious pleasure it was to witness their operation! to see a chit no bigger than one's-self enter, one knew not by what process, into what seemed the fauces Averni-to pursue him in imagination, as he I am by nature extremely susceptible of went sounding on through so many dark street affronts; the jeers and taunts of the stifling caverns, horrid shades!--to shudder populace; the low-bred triumph they display with the idea that "now, surely, he must be over the casual trip, or splashed stocking, of lust for ever!"--to revive at hearing his feeble a gentleman. Yet I can endure the jocularity shout of discovered day-light--and then (O of a young sweep with something more than fulness of delight) running out of doors, to forgiveness.--In the last winter but one, pacing come just in time to see the sable phenomenon with my accustomed precipitation, a treaemerge in safety, the brandished weapon of cherous slide brought me upon my back in an his art victorious like some flag waved over a instant. I scrambled up with pain and shame conquered citadel! I seem to remember hav-enough-yet outwardly trying to face it down, ing been told, that a bad sweep was once left in a stack with his brush to indicate which way the wind blew. It was an awful spectacle certainly; not much unlike the old stage direction in Macbeth, where the " Apparition of a child crowned, with a tree in his hand, rises." Reader, if thou meetest one of these small gentry in thy early rambles, it is good to give him a penny. It is better to give him twopence. If it be starving weather, and to the proper troubles of his hard occupation, a pair of kibed heels (no unusual accompaniment) be superadded, the demand on thy humanity will surely rise to a tester.

There is a composition, the ground-work of which I have understood to be the sweet wood 'yclept sassafras. This wood boiled down to a kind of tea, and tempered with an infusion of milk and sugar, hath to some tastes a delicacy beyond the China luxury. I know not how thy palate may relish it; for myself, I have never adventured to dip my own particular lip into a basin of such ingredients; yet I

as if nothing had happened--when the roguish
grin of one of these young wits encountered
me. There he stood, pointing me out with
his dusky finger to the inob, and to a poor
woman (I suppose his mother) in particular,
till the tears for the exquisiteness of the fun
(so he thought it) worked themselves out at
the corners of his poor red eyes, red from
many a previous weeping, and soot-inflamed,
yet twinkling through all with such a joy,
snatched out of desolation, that Hogarth-
but Hogarth has got him already (how could
he miss him?) in the March to Finchley,
grinning at the pye-man------there he stood, as
he stands in the picture, irremovable, as if the
jest was to last for ever---with such a maximum
of glee, and minimum of mischief, in his
mirth--for the grin of a genuine sweep hath
absolutely no malice in it--that I could have
been content, if the honour of a gentleman
might endure it, to have remained his butt
and his mockery till midnight.

I am by theory obdurate to the seductiveness

In one of the state-beds at Arundel Castle, a few years since--under a ducal canopy--(that seat of the Howards is an object of curiosity to visitors, chiefly for its beds, in which the late duke was especially a connoisseur)encircled with curtains of delicatest crimson, with starry coronets inwoven---folded between a pair of sheets whiter and softer than the lap where Venus lulled Ascanius---was discovered by chance, after all methods of search had failed, at noon-day, fast asleep, a lost chimney-sweeper. The little creature, having somehow confounded his passage among the intricacies of those lordly chimneys, by some unknown aperture had alighted upon this magnificent chamber; and, tired with his tedious explorations, was unable to resist the delicious invitement to repose, which he there saw exhibited; so, creeping between the sheets very quietly, laid his black head upon the pillow, and slept like a young Howard.

Such is the account given to the visitors at the Castle.--But I cannot help seeming to perceive a confirmation of what I have just hinted at in this story. A high instinct was at work in the case, or I am mistaken. Is it probable that a poor child of that description, with whatever weariness he might be visited, would have ventured, under such a penalty as he would be taught to expect, to uncover the sheets of a Duke's bed, and deliberately to lay himself down between them, when the rug, or the carpet, presented an obvious couch, still far above his pretensions--is this probable, I would ask, if the great power of nature, which I contend for, had not been manifested within him, prompting to the adventure? Doubtless this young nobleman, (for such my mind misgives me that he must be) was allured by some memory, not amounting to full consciousness, of his condition in infancy, when he was used to be lapt by his

mother, or his nurse, in just such sheets as he sede the Laurel." All these, and fifty other
there found, into which he was now but creep-fancies, which were rather felt than compre-
ing back as into his proper incunabula, and hended by his guests, would he utter, stand-
resting place. By no other theory, than by ing upon tables, and prefacing every sentiment
this sentiment of a pre-existent state (as I may with a “ Gentlemen, give me leave to propose
call it), can I explain a deed so venturous, so and so," which was a prodigious comfort
and, indeed, upon any other system, so inde- to those young orphans; every now and then
corous, in this tender, but unseasonable stuffing into his mouth (for it did not do to be
sleeper.
squeamish on these occasions) indiscriminate
pieces of those reeking sausages, which
pleased them mightily, and was the savouriest
part, you may believe, of the entertainment.

My pleasant friend JEM WHITE was so impressed with a belief of metamorphoses like this frequently taking place, that in some sort to reverse the wrongs of fortune in these poor changelings, he instituted an annual feast of chimney-sweepers, at which it was his pleasure to officiate as host and waiter. It was a

Golden lads and lasses must,

As chimney-sweepers, come to dust-
James White is extinct, and with him these
suppers have long ceased. He carried away
with him half the fun of the world when he
died--of my world at least. His old clients
look for him in vain; and, missing him, re-
proach the altered feast of St. Bartholomew,
and the glory of Smithfield departed for ever.

ELIA.

FURTHER EXTRACTS FROM LACON.

We seek the society of the ladies with a view to be pleased, rather than to be instructed, and are more gratified by those who will talk, than by those that are silent; for if they talk well, we are doubly delighted to receive information from so pleasant a source, and if they are at times a little out in their conclusions, it is flattering to our vanity, to set them right. Therefore I would have the ladies indulge with somewhat less of reserve in the freedom of conversation, notwithstanding the remark of him who said with more of point than of politeness, that they were the very reverse of their own mirrors; for the one reflected without talking, but the other talked without reflecting.

his way a very eminent preacher, whose eloquence is as copious, and far more lucid than the waters of his beloved Cam, happened to miss a constant auditor from his congregation, Schism had already made some depredations on the fold, which was not so large, but to a practised eye, the deduction of even one was perceptible. What keeps our friend farmer B. away from us?' was the anxious question proposed by our vigilant minister to his clerk. I have not seen him amongst us,' continued he, this three weeks; I hope it is not Socinianism that keeps him away. No, your honour,' replied the clerk, it is something worse than that.' 'Worse than Socinianism! God forbid it should be Deism.' 'No; your honour, it is something worse than that.' 'Worse than Deism! good heavens, I trust it is not Atheism ! No, your honour, it is something worse than that. Worse than Atheism! impossible; nothing can be worse than Atheism! Yes it is, your honour- it is Rheumatism !

MATHEMATICS.

Solution of No. 10, by Amicus,

Inserted in No. 12 of the Iris. Let a represent the side of the given cube, and x that of the cube sought.

Then, we have x3 2u3, or rather, x4 = 2a3x. Suppose x2py, and snbstituting in the preceding equation, we shall obtain y2

=

2a3
P2

difficulty. Thus, having traced the axes ax, ay, at
The construction of these equations involves no
right angles to each other, the point a will be the
vertex of two parabolas, of which we have in one
case ay for the axis of the abscisses, and p for the
parameter. In the other, we have ar for the axis of
243
the abscisses, and for the parameter.

P2

The absciss of the point where these parabolas cut each other, will be the side of the cube required.

solemn supper held upon the yearly return of
the fair of St. Bartholomew. Cards were
issued a week before to the master sweeps,
confining the invitation to their younger fry.
Now and then an elderly stripling would get
in among us, and be good-naturedly winked
at; but our main body were infantry. One
unfortunate wight, indeed, who, relying upon
his dusky suit, had intruded himself into our
party, but by tokens was providentially dis-
covered in time to be no chimney-sweeper (all
is not soot which looks so), was quoited out of
the presence with universal indignation, as not
having on the wedding garment; but in gene-
ral the greatest harmony prevailed. The
guests assembled about seven. In those little
temporary parlours three tables were spread
with napery, not so fine as substantial, and at
every board a comely hostess presided with
her pan of hissing sausages. The nostrils of
the young rogues dilated at the savour. JAMES
WHITE, as head waiter, had charge of the
first table; and myself, with our trusty com-
panion BIGOD, ordinarily ministered to the
other two. There was clambering and jostling
you may be sure, who should get at the first
table--for Rochester in his maddest days could
not have done the humours of the scene with
more spirit than my friend. After some ge-
neral expression of thanks for the honour the
company had done him, his inaugural cere-
mony was to clasp the greasy waste of old
dame Ursula (the fattest of the three), that
stood frying and fretting, half-blessing, half-
cursing "the gentleman," and imprint upon
her chaste lips a tender salute, whereat the
universal host would set up a shout that tore
the concave, while hundreds of grinning teeth
startled the night with their brightness. O it
was a pleasure to see the sable younkers lick
in the unctuous meat, with his more unctuous
sayings---how he would fit the tit bits to the
puny mouths, reserving the lengthier links for
the seniors--how he would intercept a morsel
even in the jaws of some young desperado,
declaring it "must to the pan again to be
browned, for it was not fit for a gentleman's
eating"-how he would recommend this slice
of white bread, or that piece of kissing-crust,
to a tender juvenile, advising them all to have
a care of cracking their teeth, which "were
their best patrimony"-how genteelly he would
deal about the small ale, as if it were wine,
naming the brewer, and protesting, if it were
not good, he should lose their custom; with a
special recommendation to "wipe the lip be- Our vanity often inclines us to impute not
fore drinking." Then we had our toasts--- only our successes, but even our dissappoint-
"The King," the "Cloth,"-which, whether ments, to causes personal, and strictly confined
they understood or not, was equally diverting to ourselves, when nevertheless the effects may
and flattering---and for a crowning sentiment have been removed from the supposed cause,
which never failed, "May the Brush super-far as the poles assunder. A zealous, and inquired my age in years.

He that has energy enough in his constitution to root out a vice should go a little further, and try to plant a virtue in its place, otherwise he will have his labour to renew; a strong soil that has produced weeds, may be made to produce wheat, with far less difficulty than it would cost to make it produce nothing.

Philosophy is a bully that talks very loud, when the danger is at a distance, but the moment she is hard pressed by the enemy, she is not to be found at her post, but leaves the brunt of the battle to be borne by her humbler but steadier comrade religion, whom on all other occasions she affects to despise.

What we conceive to be failings in others, are not unfrequently owing to some deficiencies in ourselves; thus plain men think handsome women want passion, and plain women think young men want politeness; dull writers think all readers devoid of taste, and dull readers think witty writers devoid of brilliance; old men can see nothing to admire in the present days; and yet former days were not better, but it is they themselves that have be

come worse.

Solution of No. 13, by Mr. W. M. Laurie, Put x and y = the years and months, Then (x + y) × x = x2 + xy = 1302. And (x y) x y = = xy — y2 = 220 per question. Hence, by reduction, a≈31, and y=11. Now, put the first and y = the second digit in the number of days. Then x = y 4; and y2 11 y 4 per question. Whence x 2 or 5 and y = 6 or 9; consequently 31 years, 11 months, and 36 days is the

age of Amicus.

4y+ 50

Neat Solutions to the same question were received from J. H.; J. W.; Mr. Wilson; Mr. Robt. Andrew ; F.; Mercurius, and Miss Agues.

Question No. 17, by Miss Agnes. Given, x2 + 3 x = 6 + to find the value of x by simple equations.

Question No. 18, by Mr. W. M. Laurie. Given, x + y + z = 29; xy + x2 + yz 278 and xyz= 880, in which equations, x, y, and z, represent the Solar, Lunar, and Indiction cycle of the year in which I was born; re

'Twas wrecked-wrecked by love's treachery: she pening, some few months since, to be in company

[We must apologize to Mrs. Matadore for any errors which may be detected in the following edition of her letter; for, though we used some care in the revision of it, we were not, in many instances, quite certain of the exact diction of her manuscript. Her hand has lost all traces of its youthful fluency, and is cramped to a most illegible stiffness; her ink is of a palish brown or yellow, as if the glass had frequently been replenished with vinegar; her orthography is a little out of date, and often deviates into the loose, added to which the familiar terms of art are

abbreviated in such an extraordinary manner, and expressed by such an unaccountable system of scores, that they appear more like the arbitrary signs in Mathematics and Astronomy,

than words written in the general and regular course of a lady's correspondence. We state these difficulties as we have felt them: they do not seem to have proceeded from any radical defect in Mrs. Matadore's abilities, but from a habi tude of carelessness, and indifference to such matters, which old ladies frequently fall into, and several of them, undoubtedly, are remains of the school to which Mrs. Matadore belongs. She will have the goodness to pardon the freedom of our observations: we do not urge them with any design of ridiculing her letter, but as an excuse for the occasional lapses from her meaning, into which our ignorance of the subject, and misapprehension of her manuscript may have led us.]

TO WILLIAM VOLATILE, ESQ.

it

SIR,-At first I thought you could not be in earnest in asking me to send you an account of our tea parties, for I supposed that you must be too clever, and too great a scholar to be pleased with any thing of mine. But as you seem more of a gentleman, than to laugh at an old woman if she does her best, and as perhaps it may be amusing for your readers, I take my pen in hand to write you an account of a party that was at Miss Spadille's last night. I am afraid I shall not manage it very well, because as nothing of mine was ever put in the newspaper before, (excepting once when I wanted country lodgings for my poor Mary) I feel very awkward and a good deal embarassed about it, as my language and words may not be quite proper and good enough for printing, and I shall be obliged if you will look over my letter and alter where it wants altering. I wanted Miss Spadille to send you an invitation that you might come and see it yourself, but she said, 'no indeed, do you think I will suffer any of those impudent fellows to come and quiz my company?' but when I have a party of my own shall be very glad to see you, and if it will be pleasant I will invite some young folks to give you the meeting, but perhaps you wont like to come, as then you would be found out who you are. There is Miss Good in our neighbourhood sometimes comes with her mother, and Jane Arnold too, who is reckoned very pretty among you young gentlemen. and I will ask some more, but you must not fall in love with Jane now, and Miss Good is a very fine young woman. For my part I dont think our parties are near as plea sant since the gentlemen gave over coming to them; but somehow they dropped off one by one, and now we never see any of them, but old Mr. Whisk when he comes for his wife, and young Willman who some

I

We are very much obliged to Mrs. Matadore and will certainly have the pleasure of visiting her. We shall have no objection to trust her with our secret. W. V.

times fetches his mother, and they never think it need-
ful to dress themselves, or to spruce up as if they
were coming among ladies, but keep on their boots and
dirty cravats, and young Willman comes in his black
stock, and they never tidy themselves at all, which I
look upon as very ungenteel manners, and not at all
becoming gentlemen in ladies' company, and once I
told Mr. Whisk that if he came in that way to my
house I would order him to be shewn into the kitchen,
like any other servant who comes to take home his
mistress. But what vexes me most, is that they
cant be content to desert us quietly, and let us have
our way while they've their own, but must abuse both
us and our parties, and call them by all the abomina-
able names they can think of, as if we only met to talk
scandal, and win each others money, and not to enjoy
ourselves rationally and innocently. I've a little bit
of a crow to pluck with you on this score my young
gentleman; what's the meaning of a Tab Rout,' as
you call our parties, and it runs in my head that
Eleusinian Mysteries is something that it should not
be, for my part I dont think there's any sin in them at
all, but you young Jackanapes must have your sav.
To be sure all people have their failings, and there's
Mrs. Everdeal is like as if she was never satisfied with
home, and must always be gadding to card parties,
certainly she has a very large acquaintance, and a very
small income, and it may perhaps be convenient for
her to go out as she does, winning every night, and
her luck is really surprising, only to think she won
the great vole twice at Mrs. Reddymaine's last Friday's
a week, and double mats both times, and at Miss Spa-
dilles she took most wonderful cards.

down with her, she'd basto, ponto, king and two hearts, king and queen of clubs, queen of spades, and two little ones, and durst not purchase, stupid woman, but must call a king, mine as ill lack would have it, and then to mend the matter led off with a little spade : and another time when I was her friend, she had spadille, king, knave, two clubs, queen and two diamonds, and two little hearts,-simpleton not to purchase with such a hand as this, and instead of leading with a small trump as any baby might tell she should have done, she played off a heart, I could have boxed her gladly, and then all their strong trumps came in, and her little ones. were lost, and twice we were basted off the board all owing to her trumping improperly, and after this I scarce took any good cards at all, for Mrs. Everdeal ran away with every thing, and changing places was to no purpose at all for luck would follow, and the best trumps always came where she was sitting. She would not tell us how much she won, but it must have been a deal.

Do you know I wish you'd been with us to hear the talk there was about your paper; every body abusing it; Mrs. Dirtcheap said her husband called it the most scurrilous and disgraceful publication, and that it ought not to be sanctioned by any body; for my part I can see no harm in it, I think it is very enlivening and clever and I'm sure they all read it and try to find out who there is in; they thought that about the concert was very poor, and all their reason was because nobody was in it; they say you are going to put the gentlemen in some week and that there will be a rare lash then; they wonder who you are, one said that there, are five of you to it, and another that it is all written Do you know Miss Spadille at all? she is very much by one, and then Miss Poolit said you were frightened respected, and will have it in her power to do very and only going to send it out once a fortnight, Mrs. handsomely for somebody when she dies. Her draw- Everdeal was very much offended, because she thought ing room holds five tables conveniently, and six at a you meant her for Mrs. Primitive; and one lady said push, and very elegantly furnished, quite in the mo- you had been shewn her at the theatre, and that you dern fashion, I think I never saw a more beautiful were a tall young man and fresh coloured, and a carpet nor such handsome drapery. She had quite dandy. No such thing,' said Miss Poolit, he's a new china last night, bought at Ollivants', which little pale fat fellow, with curly locks.' I think it must have cost her a pretty penny. Mrs. Frumblish right to tell you what the world says, for perhaps you guessed fifteen guineas, I said eighteen or twenty at are not in the way of bearing it as you say you dont the least, Mrs. Dirtcheap got a nicish set to be sure come to our sort of parties. We mostly hear every for five guineas and a half, but I like to encourage the thing that's stirring, I understand that Miss Twidge regular traders, and not ramble about to auctions as bought the New Bonnet, and that she has returned some people do, spending foolish money. Well but it because of your paper, thinking every body would you'll think I'm never going to tell you any thing be staring at it, but we can't find out who the old lady about Miss Spadille's party. There was me and Mrs. is that went to buy nightcaps, nor to which shop she Everdeal and Miss Poolit at our table, and Mrs. Rub-orossed over, and we are not quite sure who are Miss Durnoves; some think they must be Miss berit was obliged to join us for for they could not make up a whist table for her; she cant abide Cudderhill, of Oxford Road, but then they went up Mosley-street. and I wonder at her, I think it far before that stupid whist, but she's a good Christian notwithstanding, and so, poor soul, she's only to be pitied. There was two more tables and a round game which was pretty quiet, and so we wer'nt much disturbed. It hurries me

sadly to see how all the young people lose their time
at those silly round games, I can't fancy any amuse-
ment there is in them, it seems to me a shocking per-
version of cards to put 'em to such foolish purposes,
and I'm quite concerned to think what few good
poolers there will be in a few years if they go on in
it is so very provoking to have a bad player at Table;
this way; I hope, Mr. Volatile, you will learn to pool,
only think of Mrs. Rubberit, dear o' me, I hate to sit

My paper is quite full and I don't know that I've any thing else to say, I've told you all about the party that I can think of, only Mrs. Titterwell's new gown which was very smart and well looking, a kind of dove colour trimmed with blue, but perhaps you dont

mind about it. So wishing you success, and advising
you to keep your real name close.
I remain, Sir,
Your

very obedient

And respectful servant to command,
MARY ANNE MATADORE.

April 30th. 1822.

We suppose this alludes to the horsewhipping.-ED.

NOTICES.

We assure the young lady, who hardly dared purchase' that sweet thing' at Mrs. Taylor's this morning, that she need not suffer under any alarm of our displeasure, for we admired it exceedingly.

We are wearied out with our long stroll in the haunt of fashion this forenoon; we were sorry to observe the pretty timidities with which the ladies speak of us. But more of this anon-we are tired. Heigh Ho!-Good night!

THE EDITORS of the MUSAEID at the IRIS OFFICE.