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Or, Literary and

Scientific Miscellany.

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“THE CLUB.”

| It is probable that the spirit of party had Such are the Drippings, the Blubbers, the something to do in producing such represen- Grograms, the Bulls, the Gingers, the Bear

tations. A great majority of the puritans and skins, and a long et cetera of personages, No. VIII.-Friday, May 10, 1822.

independents, the adherents of the long par- who, together with their tawdry wives and

liament, and of Cromwell, were to be found affected daughters, are depicted by our popuHere yon a muckworm of the town might see,

amongst the tradesmen, who were frequently lar essayists, or figure on the stage, as the reAt his dall desk, amid bis ledgers stalla,

at once dissenters and roundheads. The wits presentatives of the commercial part of this Eat up witb carking care and penury;

were generally of the royalist party, dependent commercial nation! Most like to carcase perch'd on gallows-tree.

upon men of dissolute lives, and the compa“A penny saved is a peddy got:"

Whenever we talk of these portraits at the nions of their excesses. When the return of Club, one of the members, a man of various Firm to this scoundrel maxim keepeth he, Ne, of its rigour will he bate a jot.

the second Charles gave to these men the as- reading, and rather quick feelings, never fails

cendency, they would have considered their to break in upon the mirth which they occaTHOMSON triumph as incomplete, if they could not have

sion, by giving us an account of all the IT has before been stated that our Club is rendered their adversaries ridiculous. This

learned tradesmen whose history he rememwas probably one cause of the contemptible bers. If we may believe him, the divine Plato composed partly of men of business, and

light in which tradesmen were exhibited on the sold oil, and Demosthenes himself was in all partly of persons who are engaged in profes

stage; and the character once introduced, was probability a cutler. Nay, he pretends that sions. It is perhaps owing to this circum

too valuable as a constant source of mirth, to Atticus, the bosom friend of nearly all the stance, that we have occasionally amused ourselves with considering those satirical delineabe soon given up.

great writers of the Augustan age, was in fact tions of the different classes of society, which The increase of trade; the wealth acquired only a considerable slave dealer. As our friend are to be found in authors who profess to de- by many tradesmen ; and the greater inter- is himself a tradesman, he always speaks a niet life and manners. As we have learned to | course which took place amongst the different | little warmly on the subject, and usually conBear raillery without ill-humour, we have classes of society, gradually lessened the cludes his catalogue of literary shop-keepers, found a good deal of entertainment in collect coarseness of those representations of men of by appealing to us against the injustice of the ing and examining these little malicious re- | business, which were given on the stage.) presentations. Our mirth, however, has not

this reformation, like almost every other, “Is it to be endured,” says he, “ that a set hindered us from discovering, that the witty made but a slow progress. The lines from of men, whose sole merit consisted in being part of mankind have given very unfair repre | Thomson, which I have placed at the head of able to polish a period, or to manufacture sentations of their graver brethren. I shall at this paper, are a tolerably correct representa- rhymes ; and whose lives were spent in repeat. present consider this unfairness so far as it re tion of the opinion which the learned and poing, in their own language, what they had lates to tradesmen, and, in a future number, lite entertained, in his day, of commercial read in some other, should thus hold up to may probably extend my view to other classes persons. If it began to be discovered that a contempt the most useful members of society? of society.

tradesman might be a worthy man, it was still Authors may talk as they please about mental In the dramatic writings which appeared for

the current opinion, that his virtues must be labour, and the superiority of their pursuits some time after the restoration, the tradesman of a vulgar and inferior kind. Taste, litera- over those of tradesmen,---but I could never took the place, which, in the time of Shakes ture, or politeness, he could not possibly pos- discover that it was more difficult to select beare, had been occupied by the clown. He sess. His studies must by no means extend proper images, than to choose good patterns ; was introduced only to be the butt of the beyond “ Cocker's Arithmetic," and the News- and I am sure that it is quite as easy to avoid superior characters. His avarice, ill-breeding, paper; and if he made the least pretension to bad grammar, as to escape bad debts. To and hypocrisy, were contrasted with the care any knowledge beyond that which might be make a fortune, requires at least as much inless generosity, the easy manners, and the acquired on the Exchange, or to more good-tellect as to make a book; and the man who agreeable licentiousness of the fine gentleman

breeding than could be expected at a city ball, raises himself to the possession of wealth by of the piece. His unfashionable vices were a host of hungry wits were ready to hold him close application to business, is, in my opinion, punished according to the poetic justice of the | up to ridicule, and to prognosticate the speedy quite as much deserving of applause, as he day; and the audience saw him cudgelled, termination of his career, by his appearance who gets a name, by devoting the same time cheated, and dishonoured, with great satisfac- in the gazette.

to study." tion. It was part of the dramatic morality of Our periodical essays furnish instances in! I would not have the reader imagine that the age, that the children of such a parent abundance, of the mirth which was in this the other members of the Club are exactly of might rob him, not only with impunity, but manner derived from the ludicrous exhibition the same opinion as this gentleman. We give with applause. They gave, by so doing, a of tradesmen. A foreigner, who should form | due honour to those who have enlightened and proof that they had a spirit above their birth ; his notions of our men of business from these instructed mankind by their writings; nor da and when his daughter made free with his writings, must conceive of them as a set of we by any means undervalue the authors of money, and threw herself, without waiting for personages generally corpulent-great critics works of imagination. On the contrary, no his consent, or the sanction of the church, in roast beef and turtle-soup--great consumers writers are more frequently quoted or eulointo the arms of some hattered rake, the poet of port and tobacco--wearing fine clothes in gized amongst us. We think, at the same took care to reward such filial piety, by making an awkward manner--totally destitute of taste time, that a tradesman may baie a just taste her an honest, as well as a happy woman, at and literature, and too well satisfied with full in literature, and be acquainted with books, the conclusion of the piece.

| purses, to be at all conscious of empty heads. | without neglecting his business; vis, on the

other hand, he may be a valuable member of have seen palates, otherwise not uninstructed of avhat are called a fine set of teeth. Every the community, and acquire an honourable in dietetical elegances, sup it up with avidity. pair of rosy lips (the ladies must pardon me) competency, without any relish for such pur- I know not by what particular conformation is a casket, presumably holding such jewels; suits. We think the portraits, which have of the organ it happens, but I have always but, methinks, they should take leave to been generally given of tradesmen, to be gross found that this composition is surprisingly “ air" them as frugally as possible. The fine caricatures, the productions of men who had gratifying to the palate of a young chimney- lady, or fine gentleinan, who show me their much more wit than knowledge of the world, sweeper--whether the oily particles (sassafras teeth, show me bones. Yet-must I confess, and whose ignorance and prejudice combined is slightly oleaginous) do attenuate and soften that from the inouth of a true sweep a display to render their descriptions unfaithful. We the fuliginous concretions, which are some- (even to ostentation) of those white and shinhave never yet seen any correct delineations times found (in dissections) to adhere to the fing ossifications, strikes ine as an agreeable of the mercantile character, and must be roof of the mouth in these unfledged prac- anomaly in manners, and an allowable piece allowed to remark, that to pourtray with a titioners; or whether nature, sensible that she of foppery. It is, as then faithful, and yet spirited pencil, the manners, had mingled too much of bitter wood in the

A sable clond and feeling, the enjoyments and sufferings, of lot of these raw victims, caused to grow out of

Turns forth her silver lining on the night. 'so large a portion of the community, is a task the earth her sassafras 'for a sweet lenitive-which would require the ability of no ordinary but so it is, that no possible taste or odour to It is like some remnant of gentry not quite writer.

T. P. the senses of a young chimney-sweeper can extinct ; a badge of better days; a hint of

convey a delicate excitement comparable to nobility :--and, doubtless, under the obseuring

this mixture. Being penniless, they will yet darkness and double night of their forlorn disCHIMNEY SWEEPERS.

hang their black heads over the ascending guisement, oftentimes lurketh good blood, steam, to gratify one sense if possible, soem- and gentle conditions, derived from lost an

ingly no less pleased than those domestic ani- cestry, and a lapsed pedigree. The premature · I like to meet a sweep--one of those tender mals---cats---when they purr over a new found apprenticements of these tender victims give novices, blooming through their first nigritude, sprig of valerian. There is something more but too much encouragement, I fear, to clanthe maternal washings not quite effaced from in these sympathies than philosophy can expli- destine, and almost infantile abductions; the the cheek--such as come forth with the dawn, cate.

seeds of civility and true courtesy, so often or somewhat earlier, with their little profes- This is Saloop---the precocious herb-woman's discernible in these young grafts (not othersional notes sounding like the peep peep of a darling--the delight, and, oh I fear, too often wise to be accounted for) plainly hint at some young sparrow; or liker to the matin lark! the envy, of the unpennied sweep. Him then

journshould I pronounce them, in their aerial as- shouldest thou haply encounter, with his diming for their children, even in our days, councents not seldom anticipating the sun-rise ? visage pendant over the grateful steam, regale tenance the fact; the tales of fairy-spiriting

I have a kindly yearning toward these dim him with a sumptuous basin (it will cost thee may shadow a lamentable verity, and the respecks---poor blots--innocent blacknesses--- but three half-pennies) and a slice of delicate covery of the young Montagu be but a solitary

I reverence these young Africans of our own bread and butter (an added half-penny) ---SO | instance of good fortune, out of many irregrowth--these almost clergy imps, who sport may thy cuinary fires, eased of the o'er-parable and hopeless defiliations. their cloth without assumption; and from charged secretions from thy worse-placed hos In one of the state-beds at Arundel Castle, their little pulpits, (the tops of chimneys), pitalities, curl up a lighter volume to the wel- a few years since---under a ducal canopy in the nipping air of a December morning, kin---so may the descending soot never taint that seat of the Howards is an object of curiopreach a lesson of patience to mankind. thy costly well-ingredienced soups--nor the sity to visitors, chiefly for its beds, in which

When a child, what a mysterious pleasure odious cry, quick-reaching from street to the late duke was especially a connoisseur)-it was to witness their operation ! to see a chit street, of the fired chimney, invite the rattling encircled with curtains of delicatest crimson, no bigger than one's-self enter, one knew not engines, to disturb for a casual scintillation with starry coronets inwoven---folded between by what process, into what seemed the fauces | thy peace and pocket!

a pair of sheets whiter and softer than the lap Averni-to pursue him in imagination, as he I am by nature extremely susceptible of where Venus lulled Ascanius---was discovered went sounding on through so many dark street affronts ; the jeers and taunts of the by chance, after all methods of search had stifling caverns, horrid shades !--to shudder populace; the low-bred triumph they display failed, at noon-day, fast asleep, a lost chim with the idea that “now, surely, he must be over the casual trip, or splashed stocking, of ney-sweeper. The little creature, having lust for ever !"---to revive at hearing his feeble a gentleman. Yet I can endure the jocularity somehow confounded his passage among the shout of discovered day-light--and then (Ol of a young sweep with something more than intricacies of those lordly chimneys, by some fulness of delight) running out of doors, to forgiveness. In the last winter but one, pacing unknown aperture had alighted upon this magcome just in time to see the sable phenomenon with my accustomed precipitation, a trea nificent chamber ; and, tired with his tedious emerge in safety, the brandished weapon of cherous slide brought me upon my back in an explorations, was unable to resist the delicious his art victorious like some flag waved over a instant. I scrambled up with pain and shame invitement to repose, which he there saw exconquered citadel! I seem to remember hav- enough-vet outwardly trying to face it dowu, hibited; so, creeping between the sheets very ing been told, that a bad sweep was once left as if nothing had happened--when the roguish quietly, laid his black head upon the pillow, in a stack with his brush to indicate which way grin of one of these young wits encountered and slept like a young Howard the wind blew. It was an awful spectacle cer-me. There he stood, pointing me out with Such is the account given to the visitors at tainly; not much unlike the old stage direc- his dusky finger to the mob, and to a poor the Castle.---But I cannot help seeming to pertion in Macbeth, where the “ Apparition of a woman (I suppose his mother) in particular, ceive a confirmation of what I have just hinted child crowned, with a tree in his hand, rises.” till the tears for the exquisiteness of the fun at in this story. A high instinct was at work

Reader, if thou meetest one of these small(so he thought it) worked themselves out at in the case, or I am mistaken. Is it probable gentry in thy early rambles, it is good to give the corners of his poor red eyes, red from that a poor child of that description, with him a penny. It is better to give him two- many a previous weeping, and soot-inflamed, whatever weariness he might be visited, would pence. If it be starving weather, and to the yet twinkling through all with such a joy, have ventured, under such a penalty as he proper troubles of his hard occupation, a pair snatched out of desolation, that Hogarth ---- would be taught to expect, to uncover the of kibed heels (no unusual accompaniment) but Hogarth has got him already (how could sheets of a Duke's bed, and deliberately to be superadded, the demand on thy humanity he miss him :) in the March to Finchley, lay himself down between them, when the will surely rise to a tester.

grinning at the pye-man------there he stood, as rug, or the carpet, presented an obvious There is a composition, the ground-work of he stands in the picture, irremovable, as if the couch, still far above his pretensions--is this which I have understood to be the sweet wood | jest was to last for ever--with such a maximum probable, I would ask, if the great power of 'yclept sassafras. This wood boiled down to of glee, and minimum of mischief, in his nature, which I contend for, had not been a kind of tea, and tempered with an infusion | mirth--for the grin of a genuine sweep hath manifested within him, prompting to the adof milk and sugar, hath to some tastes a deli- | absolutely no malice in it--that I could have venture? Doubtless this young nobleman, cacy beyond the China luxury. I know not been content, if the honour of a gentleman (for such my mind misgives me that he must how thy palate may relish it; for myself, I might endure it, to have remained his butt be) was allured by some memory, not amounthave never adventured to dip my own particu- / and his mockery till midnight.

ing to full consciousness, of his condition in lar lip into a basin of such ingredients; yet I! I am by theory obdurate to the seductiveness 'infancy, when he was used to be lapt by his

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mother, or his nurse, in just such sheets as he sede the Laurel.” All these, and fifty other his way a very eminent preacher, whose elothere found, into which he was now but creep- fancies, which were rather felt than compre- quence is as copious, and far more lucid than ing back as into his proper incunabula, and hended by his guests, would he utter, stand- the waters of his beloved Cam, happened to resting place.--By no other theory, than by | ing upon tables, and prefacing every sentiment miss a constant auditor from his congregation, this sentiment of a pre-existent state (as I may with a “Gentlemen, give me leave to propose Schism had already made some depredations call it), can I explain a deed so venturous, so and so,” which was a prodigious comfort on the fold, which was not so large, but to a and, indeed, upon any other system, so inde to those young orphans ; every now and then practised eye, the deduction of even one was corous, in this tender, but unseasonable stuffing into his mouth (for it did not do to be perceptible. “What keeps our friend farmer sleeper.

squeamish on these occasions) indiscriminate B. away from us?' was the anxious question My pleasant friend JEM WHITE was so im- pieces of those reeking sausages, which proposed by our vigilant minister to his clerk. pressed with a belief of metamorphoses like pleased them mightily, and was the savouriest 'I have not seen him amongst us,'continued he, this frequently taking place, that in some sort part, you may believe, of the entertainment.

| this three weeks; I hope it is not Socinianto reverse the wrongs of fortune in these poor

Golden lads and lasses must,

ism that keeps him away.' 'No, your honour,' changelings, he instituted an annual feast of

replied the clerk, it is something worse than

As chimney-sweepers, come to dustchimney-sweepers, at which it was his plea

that.' Worse than Socinianism! God forbid sure to officiate as host and waiter. It was a

JAMES White is extinct, and with him these it should be Deism No; your honour, it is solemn supper held upon the yearly return of suppers have long ceased. He carried away something war

bers have long ceased. He carried away something worse than that. Worse than the fair of St., Bartholomew. Cards were

with him half the fun of the world when he Deism! good heavens, I trust it is not Atheism !" issued a week before to the master sweeps,

look for him in vain ; and, missing him, re- that. confining the invitation to their younger fry.

Worse than Atheism ! impossible ; Now and then an elderly stripling would get | proach the altered feast of St. Bartholomew, I nothin

ud vet proach the altered feast of St. Bartholomew, nothing can be worse than Atheism !' Yes it in among us, and be good-naturedly winked

| and the glory of Smithfield departed for ever. is, your honour- it is Rheumatism !

ELIA. at; but our main body were infantry. One unfortunate wight, indeed, who, relying upon

MATHEMATICS. his dusky suit, had intruded himself into our

FURTHER EXTRACTS FROM LACON. party, but by tokens was providentially discovered in time to be no chinney-sweeper (all

We seek the society of the ladies with a view Solution of No. 10, by Amicus, is not soot which looks so), was quoited out of to be pleased, rather than to be instructed,

Inserted in No. 12 of the Iris. the presence with universal indignation, as not and are more gratified by those who will talk, Let a represent the side of the given cube, and . having on the wedding garment; but in gene- than by those that are silent; for if they talk that of the cube sought.

ral the greatest harmony prevailed. The well, we are doubly delighted to receive in Then, we have x3 = 2u3, or rather, x4 = 2034. · guests assembled about seven. In those little

Suppose x2 = py, and snbstituting in the precedtemporary parlours three tables were spread they are at times a little out in their concluwith napery, not so fine as substantial, and at sions, it is flattering to our vanity, to set them ing equation, we shall obtain y2 = 203 every board a comely hostess presided with right. Therefore I would have the ladies in- 'The construction of these equations involves po her pan of hissing sausages. The nostrils of dulge with somewhat less of reserve in the difficulty. Thus, having traced the axes ax, ay, at young rogues dilated at the savour. JAMES freedom of conversation, notwithstanding the

right angles to each other, the point a will be the WHITE, as head waiter, had charge of the remark of him who said with more of point vertex of two parabolas, of which we have in one first table; and myself, with our trusty cdm-than of politeness, that they were the very case ay for the axis of the abscisses, and p for the panion Bicon, ordinarily ministered to the reverse of their own mirrors; for the one re parameter. In the other, we have ax for the axis of other two. There was clambering and jostling flected without talking, but the other talked you may be sure, who should get at the first without reflecting

the abscisses, and for the parameter. table--for Rochester in his maddest days could

The absciss of the point where these parabolas cut not have done the humours of the scene with He that has energy enough in his consti- each other, will be the side of the cube required. more spirit than my friend. After some ge- tution to root out a vice should go a little neral expression of thanks for the honour the further, and try to plant a virtue in its place, company had done him, his inaugural cere- otherwise he will have his labour to renew ; a

Solution of No. 13, by Mr. W. M. Luurie. mony was to clasp the greasy waste of old strong soil that has produced weeds, may be Put x and y = the years and months, dame Ursula (the fattest of the three), that made to produce wheat, with far less difficulty stood frying and fretting, half-blessing, half-than it would cost to make it produce nothing. I

Then (x + y) x x = x2 + xy = 1302. cursing “the gentleman," and imprint upon

And (x - y) x y = xy - y2 = 220 her chaste lips a tender salute, whereat the Philosophy is a bully that talks very loud, per question. universal host would set up a shout that tore when the danger is at a distance, but the mo Hence, by reduction, a=31, and y=11. the concave, while hundreds of grinning teeth ment she is hard pressed by the enemy, she is

| Now, put x = the first and y = the startled the night with their brightness. O it not to be found at her post, but leaves the

second digit in the number of days. was a pleasure to see the sable younkers lick brunt of the battle to be borne by her humbler in the unctuous meat, with his more unetuous but steadier comrade religion, whom on all Then x = y - 4; and y? - 4y + 50 sayings---how he would fit the tit bits to the other occasions she affects to despise,

= 11 y - 4 per question. puny mouths, reserving the lengthier links for

Whence x = 2 or 5 and y = 6 or 9; the seniors--how he would intercept a morsel What we conceive to be failings in others,

consequently 31 years, 11 months, and 36 days is the even in the jaws of some young desperado, are not unfrequently owing to some deficien

age of Amicus. declaring it “must to the pan again to be cies in ourselves ; thus plain men think hand

Neat Solutions to the same question were received browned, for it was not fit for a gentleman's some women want passion, and plain women

from J. H.; J. W.; Mr. Wilson ; Mr. Robt. Andrew; eating”-how he would recommend this slice think young men want politeness ; dull writers

F.; Mercurius, and Miss Agnes. of white bread, or that piece of kissing-crust, think all readers devoid of taste, and dull to a tender juvenile, advising them all to have readers think witty writers devoid of brilliance; a care of cracking their teeth, which “ were old men can see nothing to admire in the Question No. 17, by Miss Agnes. their best patrimony”-how genteelly he would present days ; and yet former days were not

Given, x2 + 3 x = + to find the deal about the small ale, as if it were wine, better, but it is they themselves that have be- value of x by simple equations. naming the brewer, and protesting, if it were come worse. not good, he should lose their custom; with a special recommendation to “wipe the lip be- . Our vanity often inclines us to impute not

1 Question No. 18, by Mr. W. M. Laurie. fore drinking.” Then we had our toasts--- | only our successes, but even our dissappoint Given, x + y + z = 29; xy + x2 + “ The King,”--the “ Cloth,”- which, whether | ments, to causes personal, and strictly confined | yz = 278 and xyz = 880, in which equathey understood or not, was equally diverting to ourselves, when nevertheless the effects may tions, x, y, and z, represent the Solar, Lunar, and Inand flattering ;---and for a crowning sentiment have been removed from the supposed cause, diction cycle of the year in which I was born ; rewhich never failed, “May the Brush super-'far as the poles assunder. A zealous, and in 'quired my age in years,

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The every hour that hurried by,

fected by it, that he exclaimed, Good Heavens! . To eke the passing day,

how can you possibly add to this couple's distress in Lent restless pleasures wings to fly

the last act ?' Oh, very easily,' said the poet; Till all were down away.

there I intend to put them both into the Spiritual

Court!'
Blest flower, with spring thy joy's begun,
POETRY.

And no false hopes are thine ;
One constant cheer of shower and sun

GENEROUS PATRONAGE.
Makes all thy stay divine.

A poor poet once sent a poem to Mr. Pope, con-
THE CONTRAST.
But life's May-morning quickly Aed,

cluding with these lines :
And dull its poon came on,

• The most I seriously would bope, .. And this is love:

And Happiness is past and dead Can you then say that love is happiness?

Ere half that noon is gone.

Is just to read the words, A. Pope,

Writ, without sneer, or shew of banter,
There were two Portraits ; one was of a Girl

Beneath your friendly imprimantur.'
Ah! smile and bloom, thou lovely thing,

Thoagh May's sweet days are few;
Just blushing into woman; it was not

When Pope had read the poem, be returned it to A face of perfect beauty, but it had

Sull coming years thy flowers shall bring, the author, with the subscription money for two sets A most bewildering smile,--there was a glance

And bid them bloom anew.

of his works, accompanied by the following couplet : Of such arch playfulness and innocence,

But Life, that bears no kin to them,

• May these pat money in your purse, That as you looked, a pleasant feeling came

Past pleasures well may mourn :

For I assure you l've read worse.' A. P.

No bud clings to its withering stem,
Over the beart, as when you hear a sound
Of cheerful music. Rich and glossy curls

No hope for spring's return.

John CLARE.

COBBETT'S OPINION OF JUNIUS. Were bound with roses, and her sparkling eyes Gleamed like Thalia's, when some quick device

JUST PUBLISHED. Of mirth is in ber laugh. Her ligbt step seemed

THE LAWYER AND THE CHIMNEY " An anonymous scribbler; as corrupt a knave, Bounding upon the air with all the life,

SWEEPER.

perhaps, as ever sacked public money; a writer, The buoyant life of one untouched by sorrow.....

who to be damved instantly only needed to have given .... There was another, drawn in after years :

his name ; a booker together of antithesises; the The face was young still; but its happy look A roguish old Lawyer was planning new sin,

writer of a long book without any one sound prinWas gone, the cheek had lost its colour, and

As he lay on his bed in a fit of the gout,

ciple, except by accident; aud without as much useThe lip its smile,--the light that once had played

The mails and the day-light were just coming in, ful knowledge in the whole book as is equal in amount Like sunshine in those eyes, was quenched and dim,

The milkmaids and rushlights were just going out: to what any plough boy can give you respecting the For tears had wasted it: her long dark hair When a Chimney-sweep's boy, who had made a mis

best mode of killing rats and mice. A writer that Floated upon her forehead in loose waves

take,

never was praised by any man of sense, except from Unbraided, and upon her pale thin hand

Came flop down the fue with a clattering rush,

mere fashion, and from carelessness; a writer tbat Her head was bent, as if in pain,-no trace And bawl'd, as he gave his black muzzle a sbake,

owes bis repatation to the sort of mystery that hangs Was left of that sweet gaiety which once

about the book : a foundation for reputation just as Seemed as grief could not darken it, as care

“My master's a coming to give you a brush."

good as that of the ghost of Cock-lane, and not one Would pass and leave behind no memory..... “ If that be the case," said the cunuing old ell, whit better. The matter of the book is bad ; tbe style There was one whom she loved undoubtingly,

" There's no moment to lose it is high time to flee : affected and every way vicious. There is nothing in As youth will ever love,-be sought her smile,

Ere he gives me a brush, I will brush off myself, the book that enlightens the mind or warms the heart. And said most gentle things although he knew

If I wait for the Devil, the Devil take me!"

Strings of coolly framed sentences; and, which is a Another had his vows.-Oh! there are some

great vice with us, antithesises without end; and in Can trifle, in cold vanity, with all

So he limp'd to the door without saying his prayers; general, without point. This book has been praised The warm soul's precious throbs, to whom it is

But Old Nick was too deep to be nick'd of his prey, by that coterie of men calling themselves the learned; A triumph that a fond devoted heart

For the knave broke his neck by a tumble down stairs, inen who solemnly decided that the writings of Wm. Is breaking for them,—who can bear to call

And thus run to the Devil by ronning away. Ireland could have come from no other pen than that Young flowers into beauty, and then crush them!

H. of Shakespeare. A book, in short, containing notbing Affections trampled on, and hopes destroyed,

bat impertinent malignity; and praised by nobody Tears wrong from very bitterness, and sighs

VARIETIES.

but solemp fools.”!!!
That waste the breath of life, these all were her's
Whose image is before me. She had given
Life's hope to a most fragile bark, to love!
A gentleman of a loose and gay turn of mind hap-

THE DRAMA. 'Twas wrecked—wrecked by love's treachery: she

| pening, some few months since, to be in company knew, with a religious man, was ridiculing things of a

MANCHESTER DRAMATIC REGISTER. serious nature, in very profligate language : upon Yet spoke not of his falsehood; but the charm That bound her to existence was dispelled

wbich the good man said, you put me in mind, Sir,

of a deaf man ridiculing the charms of music, and of Monday, May 13th. For the Benefit of Mr. Larkin : Her days were numbered :-She is sleeping now.

a blind man speaking contemptibly of the beauty of | Rob Roy; with the Beggar's Opera.
colours.

Wednesday, 15th.--For the Benefit of Mr. Eland :
TO THE COWSLIP.

READING TAE BIBLE.

Guy Mannering ; Bombastes Furioso; and Therese,

or tbe Orphan of Geneva. Once more, thou flower of childish fame, In the reign of Henry V. a law was passed against

Friday, 17th.-For the Benefit of Mr. W. Rees : Thou meet'st the April wiod;

the perusal of the Scriptures in England. It is enThe self-same flower, the very same acted,

The Africans, or War, Love, and Duty; after that wbatsoever they were that sbould read

which, Dead Alive, or the Merry Mourners. As those I used to find.

the Scriptures in the mother tongue, they should Thy peeps, tipt round with reddy streak, forfeit land, catel, lif, and godes from theyre heyres, Again attract mine eyefor ever; and to be condemned for heretykes to God,

LITERARY NOTICES. As they were those I used to seek

enemies to the crowne, and most errant traitors to Full twenty summers by. the lande. On contrasting the above statute, with

The Fortunes of Nigel are all at stake, and the the indefatigable exertions that are now making to press is expected to clear them in about a fortnight. But I'm no more akin to thee,print and circulate the Bible, what a happy revolution

An admirable character of King James is talked of A partner of the spring; in public sentiment appears to have taken place.

by the peepers ; and the whole as nothing below the For Time bas bad a hand with me,

fame of Waverley, And left an alter'd thing :

SOMETHING WORSE STILL.

Lights and Shadows, a series of short Tales desA thing that's lost thy golden hours,

Mr. Moore, the author of many ingenious pieces, criptive of Scottish manners, and about to appear, is And all I witness'd then; Mix'd in a desert, lost to flowers,

being a long time under an expensive prosecntion in highly spoken of in certain literary circles.

Doctors' Commons, for marrying two sisters, was A satirical Poem, entitled • The Mohawks,' is in Among the ways of men.

called op one morning by his proclor, as he was the press. Report has assigned it to a distinguished Thy blooming pleasures, smiling, gay,

writing his excellent domestic tragedy of The Game- Irish melodist.

ster. The proctor having a leisure boor, Mr. Moore The Provost, by the Author of The seasons still renew;

Annals of the Bat mine were doom'd a stinted stay,

read him four acts of his piece, which were all that Parisb,' • Sir A. Wylie,' &c. will be published in a And they were short and few.

at that time were finished. The proctor was so af- few days.

THE MUSAEID. times fetches his mother, and they never think it need | down with her, she'd båsto, ponto, king and two

ful to dress themselves, or to spruce up as if they hearts, king and queen of clubs, queen of spades, and

were coming among ladies, but keep on their boots and two little ones, and durst not purchase, stupid woman, No. VIII.-THURSDAY, MAY 16, 1822. dirty cravats, and young Willman comes in his black but must call a king, mine as ill lack would have it,

stock, and they never tidy themselves at all, which I and then to mend the matter led off with a little spade : Lasisti satis, edisti satis, atque bibisti ;

look upon as very angenteel manners, and not at all and another time when I was her friend, she had spaTempus abire tibi est.

HOR.

becoming gentlemen in ladies' company, and once I dille, king, knave, two clubs, queen and two diamonds,

told Mr. Whisk that if he came in that way to my and two little hearts, simpleton not to purebase with You've had your fill of tea and muffin ;

house I would order him to be shewn into the kitchen, such a hand as this, and instead of leading with a small or wine and cake you've ta'en enongh in;

like any other servant who comes to take home his trump as any baby might tell she should have done, she You've play'd three pools; and half-a-crown; mistress.* But what vexes me most, is that they played off a heart, I could have boxed her gladly, and Tis surely time that you were gone!

caat be content to desert us quietly, and let us have then all their strong trumps came in, and her little ones. our way while they've their own, but most abuse both were lost, and twice we were basted off the board all

us and our parties, and call them by all the abomina- owing to her trumping improperly, and after this I (We must apologize to Mrs. Matadore for any errors

able names they can think of, as if we only met to talk scarce took any good cards at all, for Mrs. Everdeal which may be detected in the following edition of her

scandal, and win each others money, and not to enjoy
scandal,

ran away with every thing, and changing places was to ourselves rationally and innocently. letter; for, though we used some care in the revision of

I've a little bit no purpose at all for luck would follow, and the best

of a crow to pluck with you on this score my young tramps always came where she was sitting. She it, we were not, in many instances, quite certain of the exact diction of her mannscript. Her hand has lost all I gentleman; what s the meaning of a 'Tab Roat, as I would not tell us how much she won. but it must traces of its yoothful flgency, and is cramped to a most

you call onir parties, and it runs in my head that have been a deal. illegible stiffness ; ber ink is of a palish brown or yellow, as

| Eleusinian Mysteries is something that it should not Do you know I wish you'd been with us to hear theif the glass had frequently been replenished with vinegar ;

be, for my part I dont think there's any sin in them at talk there was about your paper ; every body abusing

all, but you young Jackanapes must have your say. it; Mrs. Dirtcheap said her husband called it the most her orthography is a little out of date, and often deviates

To be sure all people have their failings, and there's scurrilous and disgraceful publication, and that it ought into the loose, added to which the familiar terms of art are

Mrs. Everdeal is like as if she was never satisfied with not to be sanctioned by any body; for my part I can abbreviated in such an extraordinary manner, and expressed

home, and must always be gadding to card parties, see no harm in it, I think it is very enlivening and by sach an unaccountable system of scores, that they appear

certainly she has a very large aoquaintance, and a very clever and I'm sure they all read it and try to find out more like the arbitrary signs in Mathematics and Astronomy,

small income, and it may perhaps be convenient for who there is in ; they thought that about the concert than words written in the general and regular course of a

her to go ont as she does, winning every night, and was very poor, and all their reason was because nobolady's correspondence. We state these difficulties as we

her lack is really surprising, only to think she won dy was in it; they say you are going to put the gentlehave felt them : they do not seem to have proceeded from any | the great vole twice at Mrs. Reddymaine's last Friday's | men in some week and that there will be a rare lash radical defect in Mro. Matadore's abilities, but from a habi

a week, and double mats both times, and at Miss Spa. then ; # they wonder who you are, one said that there. tude of carelessness, and indifference to such matters, which | dilles she took most wonderful cards. .

are five of you to it, and another that it is all written old ladies frequently fall into, and several of them, un Do you know Miss Spadille at all ? she is very mach by one, and then Miss Poolit said you were frightened doubtedly, are remains of the school to which Mrs. Mata- respected, and will have it in her power to do very and only going to send it out once a fortnight, Mrs. dore belongs. She will have the goodness to pardon the handsomely for somebody when she dies. Her draw | Everdeal was very much offended, because she thought freedom of oor observations: we do not urge them with any ing room holds five tables conveniently, and six at a you meant her for Mrs. Primitive; and one lady said design of ridicaling her letter, but as an excuse for the oco push, and very elegantly furnished, quite in the mo- you had been shewn her at the theatre, and that you casional lapses from her meaning, into which our ignorance dern fashion, I think I never saw a more beautiful were a tall young man and fresh coloured, and a of the subject, and misapprehension of her manuscript may carpet nor such bandsome drapery. She had quite dandy. No such thing,' said Miss Poolit, he's a have led us.)

new china last night, bought at Ollivants', which little pale fat fellow, with curly locks. I think it must have cost her a pretty penny. Mrs. Frumblish right to tell you what the world says, for perhaps you

guessed fifteen guineas, I said eighteen or twenty at are not in the way of bearing it as you say you dont TO WILLIAM VOLATILE, ESQ.

the least, Mrs. Dirtcheap got a nicish set to be sure come to our sort of parties. We mostly hear every SIR,_At first I thought you could not be in ear.

for five guineas and a half, but I like to encourage the thing that's stirring, I understand that Miss Twidge

regular traders, and not ramble about to auctions as bought the New Boppet, and that she has returned best is asking me to send you an account of our tea

some people do, spending foolish money. † Well but it because of your paper, thinking every body would parties, for I supposed that you mast be too clever,

you'll think I'm never going to tell you any thing be staring at it, but we can't find out wbo the old lady and too great a scholar to be pleased with any thing

about Miss Spadille's party. There was me and Mrs. is that went to buy nightcaps, nor to which shop she of mine. But as you seem more of a gentleman, than

Everdeal and Miss Poolit at our table, and Mrs. Rob- | to laugh at an old woman if she does her best, and as

orossed over, and we are not quite sure who are Miss berit was obliged to join us for for they could not make Durnoves; some think they must be Miss perhaps it may be amusing for your readers, I take

up a whist table for her ; she cant abide Cadderhill, s of Oxford Road, but then they went up Mosley-street. my pen in band to write you an account of a party that was at Miss Spadille's last night. I am afraid I shall

and I wonder at her, I think it far before that stupid My paper is quite full and I don't know that I've

whist, but she's a good Christian notwithstanding, and any thing else to say, I've told you all about the party not manage it very well, because as pothing of mine

80, poor soul, she's only to be pitied. There was two that I can think of, only Mrs. Titterwell's new gown was ever put in the newspaper before, (excepting once when I wanted country lodgings for my poor

more tables and a round game which was pretty quiet, which was very smart and well looking, a kind of

and so we wer'nt much disturbed. It burries me Mary) I feel very awkward and a good deal embarass

| dove colour trimmed with blue, but perhaps you dont ed about it, as my language and words may not be

sadly to see how all the young people lose their time | mind about it. So wishing you success, and advising quite proper and good enough for printing, and I shall

at those silly round games, I can't fancy any amuse you to keep your real name close. be obliged if you will look over my letter and alter it ment there is in them, it seems to me a shocking per

I remain, Sir, where it wants altering. I wanted Miss Spadille to

version of cards to put 'em to such foolisb purposes,
and I'm quite concerned to think what few good

Your very obedient
send you an invitation that you might come and see it
poolers there will be in a few years if they go on in

And respectful servant to command, yourself, but she said, “no indeed, do you think I will this way; I hope, Mr. Volatile, you will learn to pool,

MARY ANNE MATADORE. suffer any of those impudent fellows to come and quiz

it is so very provoking to have a bad player at Table; my company?' but when I have a party of my own I

April 30th. 1822. only think of Mrs. Rubberit, dear o' me, I hate to sit shall be very glad to see you, and if it will be pleasant I will invite some young folks to give you the meet.

We suppose this alludes to the borsewhipping.-Eo. ing, bat perbaps you wont like to come, as then you

• We quite agree with Mrs. Matadore; we ourselves bave would be found out who you are.* There is Miss poticed the disrespectful fashion of appearing in evening Good in our neighbourhood sometimes comes with company in the ordinary habiliments of the day: nothing can

be more rude. We wish every lady would make a point of her mother, and Jane Arnold too, who is reckoned

NOTICES. pot speaking to such fellows as present themselves in black very pretty among you young gentlemen. and I will |

neck-handkerchiefs, long coats, boots, gaiters, &c. &c.-ED. ask some more, but you must not fall in love with Jane

Bid them wash their faces,

We assare the young lady, who 'hardly dared purchase now, and Miss Good is a very fine young woman.

And keep their teeth clean. CORIOLANUS. that sweet thing' at Mrs. Taylor's this morning, that she For my part I dont think our parties are near as plea

need not suffer under any alarm of our displeasure, for we sant since the gentlemen gave over coming to them; + Right, right, Mrs. Matadore! Besides, as poor Richard admired it exceedingly, but somehow they dropped off one by one, and now we says, “ Buy things you dont want, and you will soon bave to never see any of them, but old Mr. Whisk when he sell your necessaries.'-Er.

We are wearied out with our long stroll in the haunt of fa. comes for bis wife, and young Willman who some

sbion this foredoon; we were sorry to observe the pretty Throughout this letter, we have obeyed Mrs. Matadore's injunctions and have made such alterations as appeared requi

timidities with which the ladies speak of us. But more site. Here however we were in a little dilemma; we thought of this anon-we are tired. Heigh Hol-Good night! We are very much obliged to Mrs. Matarlore and will quadrille was intended but 'Cudderhill' was obviously the certainly have the pleasure of visiting her. We shall have no word, and, not liking to yield too much to our own devices, objection to trust her with our secret. W .Y. we suffered it to remain.-ED.

| Tar EDITORS of the MUSALID at the lass Onrice.

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