INTERESTING NARRATIVE. "Joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons."-Lake xv. 7. MR. EDITOR, THOUGH a sick-bed is a prolonged state for repentance, yet had I still been blest with health, I might have persevered in a course of iniquity, and have summed up the catalogue of my transgressions in a manner that would have ruined my soul, and have entailed disgrace upon my posterity! Though labouring under a disease, which for the last two years had occasionally been accompanied with excruciating agony, still my medical attendants did not appear to entertain any doubt of preserving my life, until within the space of a fortnight, when the malady assumed a more serious aspect; and perceiving by the countenance of my doctors, all was not as they wished it, I entreated that I might candidly be told the real state of my case. That its issue would be mortal, I felt persuaded; and the reply of my surgeon convinced me that my judgment was right. How much is to be done, whispered Conscience, and in how short, how contracted a space of time! Previous, Mr. Editor, to the conviction that my hours were numbered, I had occasionally amused myself by perusing the Imperial Magazine, which an aunt of mine, who kindly came to solace the bed of sickness, had taken in, and persuaded me to read. This work of yours, Sir, allow me to say, recalled to my recollection some of those serious and religious sentiments, which my deceased parents had taken so much pains to impress upon my mind; but which, the pleasures of the world, and the dissipated companions with whom I associated, had for a succescession of years totally effaced. A few evenings back, whilst reflecting upon the waste of those talents which a gracious Creator had bestowed upon me for some wise or beneficent design, it occurred to me, that a No. 19.-VOL. II. [1820. biographical sketch of my own hisyoung, and the unwise; not only cautory, might act as a beacon to the tioning them against the allurements of pleasure, but against the more destructive association with those who attempt to ridicule truths which are Divine! Allow me then to inform you, Sir, that I was the younger son of a gentleman of good family, possessed of landed property to the amount of two thousand per annum; but having thirteen children, it was considered necessary that all but the eldest should be brought up to some profession. The army and navy, law, and physic, had already been the choice of my elder brothers; and being the youngest, and a favourite both with my mother and my sisters, I remained at home, under the care of a tutor, until I had completed my seventeenth year. At that period, my godfather, who held one of the highest situations in the treasury, paid a visit to my parents, and, being highly pleased with my manners and conversation, generously offered me an appointment in that department; assuring my father, that he had come into the country for the sole purpose of discovering whether I was capable of performing the duties of that post, which happened to be vacant. That a proposal, at once so lucrative and respectable, was gratefully accepted, my readers will naturally imagine; and the only circumstance which appeared to excite a moment's hesitation in the breast of my affectionate parents was, that of so many hours in the day, or rather evenings, being at my own disposal.-To obviate as much as possible the evils which might arise from this emancipation from parental authority, my affectionate father accompanied me to the metropolis, under the hope of being able to persuade a clergyman who resided in Westminster, to receive me into his family, and treat me as his son. In compliance with my father's wishes, the worthy man consented, and I was immediately domesticated in his house; and happy 2 X would it have been for me, if the society of that amiable family had been powerful enough to attract me from mixing, more than was necessary, with my pernicious associates. I received my appointment in the treasury, at the commencement of the year Eighteen-hundred-and-two, when the disaffected had frequent meetings for the purpose of disseminating principles of irreligion and democracy. In the department to which I belonged, was a young man of the name of Rainsford, who had formerly been in the army, but who, from some improper behaviour to a superior officer, had been permitted, or rather compelled, to resign. Being naturally overbearing and dissatisfied, Rainsford alone considered himself oppressed and aggrieved; and having formed an acquaintance with Colonel Despard in some of the West India islands, he renewed the intimacy in London, after he had left the service. The manners of this young man were at once elegant and insinuating, and there was something so attractingly persuasive in the tones of his voice, that whatever he asserted, though opposite to a received opinion, seemed to force an immediate passage to the mind. Educated as I had been in the firm principles of religion and loyalty, whilst listening to his arguments, I could scarcely avoid thinking the former a cloak for iniquity, and the latter a proof that the mind was weak; and often have I agreed with the insidious declaimer, that an equal distribution of property was originally designed. Upon this dangerous topic, there is no doubt that Despard and Rainsford had many private conferences; fortunately however for the latter, he was not with him on that memorable night, when a stop was put to the iniquitous plans which had been suggested for the destruction of monarchy, and the overthrow of the state. ble, without hazarding, nay insuring, the loss of his place; yet all that covert acts could perform, or ingenuity imagine, Rainsford did, to ward off his dishonour, Endowed by nature with an exquisite portion of sensibility, when condemnation was justly passed upon the Colonel, I was easily taught to consider him cruelly treated; and I almost ventured to call Lord Ellenborough a murderer, who maliciously deprived a fellow-creature of his life. I have recently, Mr. Editor, re-perused that trial, which near seventeen years ago excited such simultaneous feelings in my mind, and scarcely now can conceive it possible, that I could have thought Despard innocent of his imputed crimes. The execution of that unhappy man, was the only one I ever witnessed; and never will the impression be effaced from my mind; for by bribing the constables, we were within arm's length of the affecting scene! Never to be forgotten, is the dead silence which prevailed throughout the vast multitude, when they discovered that the object of their compassion was about to speak; which he did with a composure of look, and a dignity of manner, that gave his death the appearance of a voluntary sacrifice! That a man in the very act of appearing in the presence of his Maker. should have dared to avow himself innocent of any crime, strikes me now with sensations of horror beyond the power of language to describe; and that he should have been suffered to appeal to the feelings of the misguided multitude then assembled, was, in my opinion, an unwarrantable stretch of clemency. The impression which the speech made upon my mind, was participated in by thousands; and various schemes for avenging the Colonel's death were entered into at that time: it was with Though Rainsford had too much difficulty I could prevent Rainsford sense to make an open avowal of those from avowing his rebellious sentiments, sentiments, which, if known, must in- when, whilst Despard was addressing evitably have deprived him of his the multitude, he accidentally caught place, yet to me, who from our first ac- his eye. "Fellow Citizens," said he, quaintance he had treated with the in a voice at once audible and digniconfidence of friendship, every thought fied, "after having served my country of his heart appeared to be revealed; faithfully, honourably, and I trust useand had Despard been his father, he fully, upwards of thirty years, I am could not more severely have felt his come here, as you see, to suffer death disgrace. Openly to have avowed him- upon a scaffold, for a crime of which I self his friend, however, was impossi-am no more guilty than you, who now 685 Interesting Narrative. 686 The perturbed state of my feelings, previous to the attack of this danger listen me! But though His Majesty's Ministers know I am not guilty, they have availed themselves of the oppor-ous malady, had doubtless tended to tunity they had of destroying me, be- augment the fever's height; whilst the cause they think me a friend to truth ravings of delirium too fatally convincand justice, an enemy to oppression, and ed my respected father, of the demoan advocate for liberty!" cratic principles I had unhappily imbibed. All that I had seen and heard on the fatal morning of the Colonel's execution, appeared to be perpetually passing before my eyes, and repeatedly did I condemn the lukewarmness of Rainsford's feelings, in not making a powerful effort to preserve his friend's life. To this inflammatory declaration, much more was added, equally calculated to rouse the passions, and excite sympathy; and to such a pitch of phrenzy had it wound up my feelings, that I would willingly have sacrificed my own existence, to have preserved Despard's life! That Great Power, however, who in mercy stretched out What acute anguish must this amiahis hand to preserve me from the ble and affectionate parent have sufcommission of any of those wildly sug- fered, at receiving such a decided proof gested plans to which the affecting of the perverted principles of his fascene had given rise, decrced that the vourite child; and how severely did he moment I had quitted the spot, new in- condemn himself for allowing the prosterests should be awakened, and sensa-pect of worldly advantages, to hazard tions more congenial to my nature take possession of my mind. Though totally unfitted for my usual occupation, I was aware of the necessity of appearing to be employed; and approaching my desk, I perceived a letter lying, in the superscription of which, my favourite sister's hand-writing was recognized. An indefinable dread of some melancholy intelligence seized my faculties. It was one of those overwhelming prognostics, for which no reason can be assigned. I hastily tore off the envelop, and found that I had lost the best,-the most affectionate of mothers; that my father felt symptoms of the same malignant disorder; and conjured me to endeavour to obtain leave of absence, that night. The friend who had obtained my appointment, fortunately at that moment entered the oflice, and, perceiving me overwhelmed with sorrow, unhesitatingly granted the wished-for leave. The irreparable loss I had sustained, united to the dread of a still greater, too completely occupied my feelings to admit a thought of Colonel Despard; and when I reached home, the alarming state in which I found my father, kept my mind in a constant state of apprehension. At the expiration of a fortnight, however, he was pronounced out of danger; at the end of which time, it was evident I had caught the infection, and for several weeks I was reduced to such a state of mental and bodily weakness, as not to be sensible of any thing that took place. the corruption of a pure and untainted mind! Alas, he then only knew a small part of that corruption which his unworthy son had imbibed; for, less than a twelvemonth's association with those who termed themselves Freethinkers, had effaced those religious impressions which had been implanted in carly life. As soon as my father thought me sufficiently recovered, not to be agitated by those admonitions which a sense of parental duty enjoined, he, in the most glowing colours, expatiated on the pernicious consequences which must ensue from the perverted sentiments I had imbibed; and in language which had all the pathos of inspiration, warned me of the misery I was laying up for myself in the present and future life! Wretch that I was, to have remained insensible to such a warning! I listened, it is true, to his arguments, and endeavoured to confute them by mine; but in this attempt, indignation got the better of affection, and, with eyes overflowing in tears, he commanded me to quit his sight. Those pernicious counsellors who had taken so much pains to warp my religious sentiments, had been equally successful in weakening those of the moral kind; for frequently had I heard parental authority reprobated as a clog that would bow down the freedom of the human mind! All the proofs of parental tenderness, which from infancy I had received from the Author of my existence, were buried in the imaginary insult of that memorable night; for the having been commanded to quit his presence, I considered as an insult, or a mode of displeasure only applicable to a child. Convinced that the salary I received would support me as a gentleman, and that my father had assumed an authority derogatory to my manhood, I impetuously formed the resolution of quitting the abode of my ancestors before any part of the family were risen, yet not without leaving a letter upon the table, explaining the mortification I had endured from the imaginary insult! Oh! how sincere,-how ardent, has been my repentance for presuming to pen that daring epistle! But, alas! repentance came too late; for I never felt it, until the heart which it had so deeply wounded, was beyond the reach of my contrition! All the ingratitude it contained, I am incapable of recollecting: yet I remember its tendency was to prove, that the child owed no gratitude to the authors of its existence; who had not ushered it into life for the purpose of conferring an obligation upon it, but for their own sensual gratification. This daring letter, is is true, was penned under the influence of those rebellious passions which had been roused by the conviction that my father had treated me as a child, without suffering one moment of cool reflection to calm the tumult which had arisen in my mind. Aware that one of the London coaches passed the gates of the avenue, on the following morning, between four and five, I threw myself on the outside the bed for an hour or two, and then, punctual as a lover, crept silently to the gates. Scarcely had I reached the spot, when I perceived the expected vehicle approaching, which I instantly hailed, eagerly demanding whether I could have an inside place? The door was immediately opened,-my only companion a man, who had fixed himself in one corner of the stage, but whose hat was brought so completely forward, that it was impossible for me to obtain a distinct view of his face. To my observation that the morning was unusually dark and gloomy, he merely assented by an inclination of the body; at the same time, in an under tone, I thought I heard him say," Alas! it bears a striking affinity to the darkness of my fate! We had travelled some miles with out entering into any conversation, and during the whole distance he had never raised his eyes; at length, a sudden shock from the coach coming in contact with some hard body, jerked him forward, and gave me a complete view of his face. It was a countenance on which sorrow appeared deeply indented; but at the same time it was handsome, interesting, and manly: in short, there was a something in it, which in a peculiar manner interested me. That he laboured under some heavy affliction, was evident; and I hope a better principle than curiosity, made me desirous of discovering whether it could be relieved. The coach soon stopped at the accustomed place to breakfast; and I flattered myself I should be able to draw him into conversation, during that generally social meal. When the waiter opened the door, I sprang out of the carriage, concluding my melancholy companion would follow; and entering the room prepared for our reception, ordered the waiter to bring in breakfast for two persons. "The gentleman in the coach, Sir, does not choose any," replied the fellow," and does not mean to get out." The idea that poverty might be his hinderance, suddenly occurred to me, and I was in the very act of returning, to request him to partake of my fare, when his being an inside passenger convinced me I had formed an erroneous opinion. However, when the coffee and hot cakes were placed smoking upon the table, I could not reconcile it to myself to partake of them alone, and, darting out of the room, I unceremoniously opened the door of the coach. "You would pardon this intrusion," said I in a conciliatory accent, "if you knew how insupportably painful it is to me to take any meal alone; besides, my dear Sir, you are either ill or unhappy, and must allow me to act as your physician; in short, you will confer a real favour upon me, if you will alight, and partake of an excellent breakfast." "I cannot reject an offer which evinces so much humanity," he replied, with a dejected bow: “I can drink, I allow; but I assure you on my honour I could not force a morsel of food into my mouth." He, however, complied with my request, and unhesitatingly followed me into the room; and upon taking off his hat, presented [Continued from col. 638.] Your correspondent tells us, that the charge made against the Church of Rome, of holding the obnoxious doctrine, that" no faith is to be kept with heretics," is disproved by the facts of the case; and, in support of this assertion, he refers us to the faithfulness with which the Spanish merchants have fulfilled their mercantile engagements with this country. Surely this is not reasoning. Would any man, who makes any pretences to sound logic, ever think of proving the non-existence of obnoxious tenets in a man's creed, from his conduct on particular occasions, and under particular circumstances? Self-interest, which binds human society together in all cases where nobler principles cease to operate, would prevent the Spanish merchants from breaking their engagements with a great commercial nation; for if they adopted a contrary line of conduct, it would interdict all intercourse, and totally annihilate their foreign commerce; not to mention the danger of provoking hostilities with a people so powerful, both by sea and land, as the British. Many of the most notorious highwaymen have been known, at certain seasons, to mingle with society; to put on the manners of social life; to enter into engagements, and to discharge these engagements with a fidelity truly astonishing, even while carrying on their nightly depredations. And if the better principles of our common nature, as well as selfinterest, and the usual forms of civilized society, should influence Roman Catholics, on all ordinary occasions, to act contrary to certain obnoxious tenets, is that any proof that such tenets have no place in their creeds? That the great Lateran Council, held in 1215, declared that “no faith is to 690 be kept with heretics;" and that the Council of Constance, held in 1415, confirmed the decrees of the Lateran Council, and acted upon them, by committing John Huss and Jerome of Prague to the flames; and that all Roman Catholic priests and bishops swear to hold and maintain all things decreed by the general Councils; are historical facts, which, till now, I thought no man, making any pretence to historical information, would attempt to deny. Permit me, however, to inform the "Member of the Established Church," that it was not intended to bring the obnoxious tenct alluded to, into operation in mercantile transactions. Had he been aware of this, he might have spared himself the trouble of giving us a whole paragraph concerning the Spanish merchants. The decree runs thus: "No faith or promise is to be kept with heretics, to the prejudice of the Catholic faith," cap. 3. Hence it appears evident, that the Church of Rome, in this diabolical tenet, only aimed at the lives of those men whose doctrines and labours might be injurious to her interests. The "Churchman" therefore might be very safe and comfortable at St. Austell, while writing in favour of Catholic Emancipation, and while he took no active part in promoting the interests of the Protestant religion; nay more, he might enter into mercantile engagements with the Spanish merchants for many years, without knowing that the tenet in question had any existence but if he were placed in the circumstances of John Huss, when at the Council of Constance; or of Luther, when at Worms; or of Cranmer, when the British sceptre was under the influence of Papal authority; he would soon be undeceived. It is also asserted, that the Roman Catholic religion is not hostile to civil liberty; and in support of this assertion, we are referred to "the histories of Austria, France, Saxony, Genoa, Venice, Lucca, and Switzerland," as furnishing examples of "all the different degrees of government, from absolute monarchy to the extreme of republican liberty.” It was certainly unnecessary to inform us, that there are despotic governments in Roman Catholic countries; for we are fully aware that Popery is a soil in which despotism will thrive well. But he |