when under the influence of wine, is said to have unjustly condemned a woman, who appealed against his judgment. "To whom then do you appeal?" asked the enraged monarch. "From Philip drunk and slumbering," said the injured woman, "to Philip sober and wakeful."

Besides these, and many more such well-known sayings, there are others of a different character, common only in certain localities. Many of them seem simply to belong to the class of alliterative proverbs which have nothing for their origin but the fact that they first saw the light in the pages of some favourite author. Southey's "Doctor" is rich in sayings, such as those to which we refer. As specimens we give the following: "As lazy as Ludlam's dog, as laid him down to bark;" "As queer as Dick's hat-band, that went nine times round his hat and was fastened by a rush at last."

If any reader wishes further to study this subject, we can promise him instruction and recreation almost without measure or end, if he will get Richardson's invaluable Dictionary, Nares' Glossary, Hallowell's Dictionary of Provincial Words, and last but not least, a little book by Mr. Bellenden Ker, on the "Archæology of our Common Phrases and Words."

W. L.

20

VOL IV.

MISSES AND MATRIMONY.

EDITED BY W. W. KNOLLYS.

(Continued from Page 298.)

CHAPTER XII.

THE WRONG VISITOR-THE RIGHT ONE AFTERWARDS-A RUSE DE FEMME THE EFFECT OF RED HAIR-LORD ADAIR AT DINNER-COLONEL JONES ON THE INFLUENCE OF BLOOD-FLIRTATION AND CONFESSION.

DUм-DUм, December 20, 185-.

Two days after the ball, as I was sitting alone in the drawing-room ready to receive visitors-for aunt very seldom makes her appearance till tiffin*-in walked M'Clusky. I was so mad with the man for coming! I had expected Lord Adair, and when I found it was only M'Clusky, I was quite disappointed. As I didn't feel pleased to see him, of course I appeared so, and smiled, and said how delighted I was, what an age it seemed since we had met, and all that sort of thing which the sharpest men like, even if they know we do not mean it. M'Clusky considers it the right thing to commence any conversation with a lady by paying her a compliment, and such things they are too. One would think he had learnt them from his dancing master, or had taken them out of a "Guide to Etiquette."

This time he said, "It's no need for to ask how ye've been, Miss Aylmer, for ye're looking as bonnee as if the climate was natural to ye."

The animal, it was as much as saying I was a half-caste! I felt so cross; I told him I hadn't been at all well, and that I thought th climate detestable. It was silly of me to lose my temper, but he doe seem so much worse after Lord Adair, that I couldn't resist it. Do you know I think he's becoming fond of me, for he didn't get dignified, but appeared quite sorry, and told me I ought to be very careful; for there were others than myself would grieve if anything happened to me. Just as if I was going to die directly, the stupid!

"Ye should really see a doctor, Miss Aylmer, not that I have much faith in them myself, unless I want sick leave." He laughed heartily at this, which was intended for a joke, and I laughed too, to make up for being cross. "There's a Dr. M'Donald belonging to the Artillery in the station, and Colonel Jones could get him to prescribe for you for nothing, I daresay." He then talked about the M'Clusky tartan, and * Luncheon.

said, "I've been seeing after that for ye, as I tauld ye I would, and I found out at last where it was to be got you said you'd like a dress of it."

"Oh thank you," I replied, "how very kind and generous of you. I shall like it so much."

"Do you really mean it ?" said he.

I began to fear that he repented his fit of generosity, and that I shouldn't get the dress after all; so I answered, "I do indeed, I think it is such a pretty tartan; besides, it will always remind me of a kind friend, not that I need that though."

"Well, if you do want it, you can get one at Gervain's, for I saw it there to-day, but it's vera dear."

Fancy his being so stingy and selling me in that way! I thought all the time he intended to make me a present of the dress, and then to end by merely telling me where I could buy it! Oh, it's too bad; I shall never forgive him as long as I live, the old screw! To pay him out and pique him too, I spoke about the ball, said how nice it was, and what pleasant partners I had. I asked him why he hadn't been there. I knew well enough all the while. He said quite crossly he had too important duties to be able to waste his time in such follies. I then asked him if he knew Lord Adair. He replied: "A little." He never will allow that he doesn't know any great person. I said, "Oh, he is such a charming person, and waltzes exquisitely. I think he is one of the pleasantest partners I ever danced with. So handsome, so clever, so affable, and so very attentive." I knew this would make him come forward, for he's one of those people who, though very vain, is only half satisfied with himself. His own opinion of himself is very favourable, but he isn't quite certain about other people, they are so stupid and envious. The consequence is that he's as jealous as can be. Sure enough he became quite tender directly; when as ill, and good luck too, would have it, Lord Adair himself called. What a distingué air he has, to be sure! There's something so aristocratic about everything he does. His way of saying "how di doo" to you is quite different from everybody else's. was charmed to see him, but I wish he had come a little later. He was so anxious to find out that I wasn't the worse for the ball, and shook hands with me in quite an affectionate manner. It really made my heart flutter, and I thought to myself how I wished Mary Gordon, who used to give herself such airs at school, because her uncle's a trumpery city knight, could see me now. I vow I will write to her by next mail, for the sake of telling her about it. She needn't hold up her head now, for she only married a poor captain in a marching regiment, with about £100 a year besides his pay. They are so badly off I believe, that when she goes out she's obliged to walk, or ride in a cab. I know I wont marry any one who can't give me a carriage. When Lord Adair came in, he just said, "Hallo M'Clusky, how are you; I didn't expect to see you here. I heard they had made a judge of you somewhere up country." M'Clusky

got very angry at this-why I don't know I'm sure, and made some remark about "fowk minding their own beezness." Whenever he's in a rage he always speaks broader Scotch than at any other time. Lord Adair didn't take any notice of him, but began talking to me as if no one else was in the room. He can't bear him, I can see. He asked me what on earth induced me to have that stingy old snob there. I replied that I was obliged to appear to like many people I detested, because they were aunt's or Colonel Jones' friends. Lord Adair is certainly very cool; he actually had the coolness to flirt in the most determined way right before M'Clusky's eyes, just as if he was only a companion or a poor relation, or something of that sort. M'Clusky was furious, and made some very sarcastic remarks. Lord Adair took very little notice of him, but merely stopped in his conversation every now and then to stare at him, and then turning round to say "Miss Aylmer, I think Mr. M'Clusky is speaking to you." What a pity it was the two being there at the same time. I liked flirting with Lord Adair best of course, but still I really felt very sorry for poor M'Clusky. After a little, aunt, who had heard that Lord Adair was there, came into the room. She's awfully fond of great men, poor old thing, and pounced on Lord Adair directly. I took the opportunity of trying to soothe M'Clusky a little, but it was no use; he would go on saying such rude things at Lord Adair, that I thought it time to put an end to the visit. First of all, I became rather silent, then I leaned back in my chair, then I asked M'Clusky to hand me my smelling salts from off the table, and sniffed at them. Both M'Clusky and Lord Adair then said they hoped I was not feeling unwell. I answered, in rather a weak voice, "Oh no, it's nothing; I shall be all right in a moment." Then directly afterwards I said faintly to Lord Adair, "Would you get me a glass of water?" and leaning back, closed

my eyes.

Everybody jumped up now. Aunt called for water; Lord Adair held the salts to my nose so long that he brought the tears into my eyes; and M'Clusky seizing hold of a pretty feather dusk-wisk, stuck it in the fire; there happened, for a wonder, to be one that day, as it was rather cold, and held the burnt feathers under my nose. It nearly made me sick, and left such a dreadful smell in the house. The smoke got down my throat, and caused me to cough violently, on which M'Clusky saying, "She's got hysterics," began rubbing my hands. I pretended to be convulsive, and, to serve him out, gave his great paws one or two pinches that made him cry out, and that, and the absurdity of the whole thing, made me laugh so, that I nearly became hysterical in reality. Meantime aunt was shouting for the bearer to bring water. When it came, I was afraid of my dress being spoilt by its being thrown over me; besides, to have cold water

We think we can explain the indignation which was so incomprehensible to Miss Alymer. Up to very lately, and we are not sure that the custom does not prevail at present, when a civilian of any standing was unfit for every other employment, he was generally made a judge.

dashed in your face is not pleasant, even in India; so I pretended to get gradually better, and in another moment asked aunt to help me to my room, as I thought I would go and lie down. In the evening we all drove out, and one of the first people we met was Lord Adair, mounted on such a beautiful horse, with a long tail, pretty, thin legs, and such a lovely, arched neck. He seemed so anxious about me, and so glad to find I was able to come out. He said he wondered what it was had made me faint in the morning. I replied, I didn't know, I was sure, unless it was the sight of Mr. M'Clusky's red hair. Aunt looked very cross at me; but he laughed till I thought he would have fallen off his horse, and said, I was such fun. Somebody came up to talk to aunt, so he took the opportunity of whispering, "When are we to have that ride together? I have been looking forward to it so much; I think it would do you good too."

"Whenever you like; I am quite ready to begin to-morrow, but you must ask aunt."

He did so directly he got an opportunity, and aunt, after a little talk, said yes. I was terribly afraid all the time lest M'Clusky should come up; so I said "I was rather nervous; perhaps the horse was not tame. Wouldn't it be better for me to see the horse first?" He declared it was very quiet, but I could see it first if I liked. I asked him if he couldn't bring it to our bungalow that evening to show it to me when we came home from our drive. He replied "Oh yes," and that he would go and see about it directly. As he was leaving, Colonel Jones said he had better stop and dine with us. He seemed quite pleased, and rode off, looking so noble and handsome. How fortunate it was I got rid of him, for he had scarcely gone, when M'Clusky appeared. Such a difference from the other; he can't ride a bit, but with his long legs quite in front of the saddle, his lanky figure leaning rather forward, and his right hand. holding the reins very short and low down on the horse's neck, and his left arm hanging back, he looks like a samaphore, or a note of interrogation. Really the man nearly made me sick, he was so distressingly tender. One never knows what may happen, so I didn't snub him. I began by saying there was a spell on their meeting, and added, "How tiresome of Lord Adair to come in just as we were having such a charming talk. Don't you think he's rather conceited?"

"I think he's a presumptuous young puppy to behave as he does to a man of my offeecial poseetion. It's all very weel wi' a set of young officers and such like, and he may think himself a great man in England; but it's no use here. Lord or no Lord, it makes no difference in India. A man just takes precedence according to his rank in the service. But he's not worth my notice."

Of course I agreed with him, and said I thought he deserved snubbing. I took an opportunity too of hinting how superior civilians were to soldiers; that the latter were so idle and frivolous; I couldn't understand what girls found to admire in them. For my part I preferred something