Father William I had a coach with horses four, Three white (though one was black), A little girl ran by my side, And she was pinched and thin. "Enter my coach, sweet child,” said I, The publican was stern and cold, I blotted out the score with tears, And though the past with surges wild Fond memories may sever, The vision of that happy child Will leave my spirits never! 1927 Rudyard Kipling [1865 FATHER WILLIAM From Alice in Wonderland " AFTER SOUTHEY "You are old, Father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head- "In my youth," Father William replied to his son, "I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again." "You are old," said the youth, “as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door- "In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks, "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment-one shilling the box- "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beakPray, how did you manage to do it?" "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw, "You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an cel on the end of your nose— "I have answered three questions and that is enough," Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!" Lewis Carroll [1832-1898] THE NEW ARRIVAL AFTER CAMPBELL THERE came to port last Sunday night Without an inch of rigging on; I looked and looked-and laughed! Disaster It seemed so curious that she Should cross the Unknown water, Yet by these presents witness all And comes consigned in hope and love- She has no manifest but this; No flag floats o'er the water; She's too new for the British Lloyds→→→ My daughter! O, my daughter! Ring out, wild bells and tame ones too; Ring in the little worsted socks, Ring in the bib and spoon. Ring out the muse, ring in the nurse, Away with paper, pen, and ink— George Washington Cable [1844 1929 DISASTER AFTER MOORE 'TWAS ever thus from childhood's hour My fondest hopes would not decay: I never loved a tree or flower Which was the first to fade away! The garden, where I used to delve Short-frocked, still yields me pinks in plenty; The pear-tree that I climbed at twelve, I see still blossoming, at twenty. I never nursed a dear gazelle. But I was given a paroquetHow I did nurse him if unwell! He's imbecile, but lingers yet. He's green, with an enchanting tuft; And knows it--but he will not die! I had a kitten-I was rich In pets-but all too soon my kitten Became a full-sized cat, by which I've more than once been scratched and bitten; And when for sleep her limbs she curled One day beside her untouched plateful, And glided calmly from the world, And then I bought a dog-a queen! I used to think, should e'er mishap And life might e'en be too sunshiny: "TWAS EVER THUS AFTER MOORE I NEVER reared a young gazelle, (Because, you see, I never tried); But had it known and loved me well, No doubt the creature would have died. A Grievance My rich and agèd Uncle John Has known me long and loves me well I would he were a young gazelle. I never loved a tree or flower; But, if I had, I beg to say The blight, the wind, the sun, or shower I would he were a tree or flower! 1931 Henry Sambrooke Leigh [1837-1883] A GRIEVANCE AFTER BYRON DEAR Mr. Editor: I wish to say- If you will not be angry at my writing it- Although this meter may not be exciting, it Which is not what one always is in verse. I used to know a man,--such things befall The observant wayfarer through Fate's domainHe was a man, take him for all in all, We shall not look upon his like again; I know that statement's not original; What statement is, since Shakespeare? or, since Cain, What murder? I believe 'twas Shakespeare said it, or Perhaps it may have been your Fighting Editor. Though why an Editor should fight, or why A Fighter should abase himself to edit, Are problems far too difficult and high For me to solve with any sort of credit. |