Sages their solemn een may steek, An' raise a philosophic reek, An' physically causes seek, In clime and season; But tell me Whisky's name in Greek, Scotland, my auld, respected mither! Tho' whiles ye moistify your leather, Till whare ye sit, on craps o' heather, Ye tine your dam; Freedom and Whisky gang thegither! Tak aff your dram! THE HOLY FAIR*. A robe of seeming truth and trust And secret hung, with poison'd crust, A mask that like the gorget show'd I. Hypocrisy a-la-mode. Upon a simmer Sunday morn, The rising sun owre Galston muirs, Fu' sweet that day. * Holy Fair is a common phrase in the west of Scotland for a sacramental occasion. II. As lightsomely I glowr'd abroad, The third, that gaed a-wee a-back, Was in the fashion shining, Fu' gay that day. III. . The twa appear'd like sisters twin, Their visage, wither'd, lang, an' thin, The third cam up, hap-step-an'-lowp, An' wi' a curchie low did stoop, As soon as e'er she saw me, Fu' kind that day. IV. Wi' bonnet aff, quoth I, "Sweet lass, "Ye, for my sake, hae gi'en the feck Of a' the ten commands "My name is Fun-your cronie dear, The nearest friend ye hae; An' this is Superstition here, An' that's Hypocrisy. I'm gaun to ********* Holy fair To spend an hour in daffin: Cin ye'll go there, yon runkl'd pair, We will get famous laughin At them this day." VI. Quoth I, "With a' my heart, I'll do't; An' meet you on the holy spot; Faith we'se hae fine remarkin! For roads were clad, frae side to side, In droves that day. VII. Here farmers gash, in ridin graith, There, swankies young, in braw braid-claith, In silks an' scarlets glitter; Wi' sweet-milk cheese, in monie a whang, An' farls bak'd wi' butter Fu' crump that day. VIII. When by the plate we set our nose, On ev'ry side they're gathrin, Some carrying dales, some chairs an' stools, An' some are busy blethrin Right loud that day. IX. Here stands a shed to fend the show'rs, Here sits a raw of tittlin jades, Wi' heaving breast and bare neck, An' there a batch o' wabster lads, Blackguarding frae K -ck For fun this day. X. Here some are thinkin on their sins, On this hand sits a chosen swatch, To chairs that day. XI. O happy is that man an' blest! Which, by degrees, slips round her neck, An's loof upon her bosom Unkend that day. XII. Now a' the congregation o'er Is silent expectation; For ****** speels the holy door, The vera sight o' *****'s face, To's ain het hame had sent him Wi' fright that day. XIII. Hear how he clears the points o' faith Wi' rattlin an' thumpin! Now meekly calm, now wild in wrath, On sic a day! XIV. But, hark! the tent has chang'd its voiee; They canna sit for anger. ***** opens out his cauld harangues, An' aff the godly pour in thrangs, A lift that day. XV. What signifies his barren shine, Or some auld pagan heathen, That's right that day. XVI. In guid time comes an antidote Fast, fast, that day. XVII. Wee ******, niest, the guard relieves, An' orthodoxy raibles, Tho' in his heart he weel believes, An' thinks it auld wives' fables: * A street so called, which faces the tent in |