bring down the Perfon envied to his own Level; but if it is on account of Superiority of Fortune, it will operate alike on Men of all Shapes. Eunuchs have but one peculiar Motive to Envy; but that (as Lord Bacon expreffes it) makes them envious towards all: because it is for a Pleasure, which all but themselves may enjoy. Deformed Persons are deprived only of Beauty and Strength, and therefore those alone are to be deemed the extraordinary Motives to their Envy; for they can no more be beautiful or ftrong, than Eunuchs be fuccefsful Lovers. As to myfelf, whatever Sparks of Envy might be in my Conftitution, they are now entirely extinguifhed; for, by frequent and serious Reflexion, I have long been convinced of the fmall Value of moft Things which Men value the moft.

There is another Paffion to which deformed Perfons feem to be more exposed, than to Envy; which is Jealoufy; for, being confcious that they are less amiable than others, they may naturally fufpect, that they are lefs beloved. I have the Happiness to speak this from Conjecture, and not from Experience; for it was my Lot, many Years ago to marry a young Lady, very piously educated, and of a very diftinguifhed Family, and whofe Virtues are an Honour to her Family, and her Sex; so that I had never any Trial of my Temper; and can only guess at it by Emotions I have felt in my younger Days; when Ladies have been more liberal of their Smiles to thofe, whom I thought in every refpect, but Perfon, my Inferiors.

The

The most useful Inference from all this to a deformed Perfon, is to be upon his Guard against those Frailties to which he is more particularly exposed; and to be careful, that the outward Frame do not diftort the Soul. [i] Orandum eft, let us pray, fays Juvenal, ut fit mens fana in corpore fano, for a found Mind in a healthy Body; and every deformed Perfon should add this Petition, ut fit mens recta in corpore curvo, for an upright Mind in a crucked one. And let him frequently apply to himself this Article of Self-examination, [k] Lenior & melior fis accedente Senecta? as Age approaches, do your Temper and Morals improve? It is a Duty peculiarly incumbent ; for if Beauty adds Grace to Virtue itself, Vice must be doubly hideous in Deformity.

Ridicule and Contempt are a certain Confequence of Deformity; and therefore what a Perfon cannot avoid, he should learn not to regard. He fhould bear it like a Man; forgive it as a Chriftian; and confider it as a Philofopher. And his Triumph will be complete, if he can exceed others in Pleafantry on himself. Wit will give over, when it fees itself out-done; and fo will Malice, when it finds it has no Effect: And if a Man's Behaviour afford no Caufe of Contempt, it will fall upon thofe, who condemn him without Cause. It fometimes happens, that Perfons, with whom I have a flight Acquaintance, will take notice of me on fome Days, and overlook me on others; well knowing that they [i] Sat. x. [4] Hor. Ep. ii, 1, 2.

ought

ought to treat one of my Shape, with the precife Degree of Ceremony, which fuits their prefent Hu mour. I will not say, this is a Pleasure; but I can truly fay, it is no Mortification. It excites in me no Resentment, but only Speculation. And not able to find out a very good Reason for their Behaviour, I endeavour to find as good a one as I can. I confider with myself, what it is which makes them at that Juncture of fuch particular Importance to themselves; and ask myself many Queftions of this Sort. Is his Father dead? Has he written a Play? Has he dined with my Lord Mayor? Has he made a Speech? Has he been presented at Court? Has he been spoke to at a Levee? Has he a new Equipage, or Title? Has he had a good Run? Has he got a Place? Is he go. ing to marry a Fortune? Has he been congratulated on the Performance of his French Cook, or his French Taylor? Is he reckoned a Man of Tafte? Is he admitted of White's, or of the Royal Society ?-Such are the Topicks of my Speculations; and though I am a Person of no great Penetration, I fometimes hit on the right Cause.

Fine Cloaths attract the Eyes of the Vulgar; and therefore a deformed Perfon fhould not affume those borrowed Feathers, which will render him doubly ridiculous. He could fcarce expofe himself more by dancing at Court, than by appearing the fineft there on a Birth-day. Ever fince I have arrived at Years of Discretion, I have worn a plain Drefs; which, for near thirty Years, has been of the fame grave Colour; and which I find not the leaft Inclination

to

to alter. It would be monftrous in me to bestow any Ornament on a Person, which is incapable of it; and fhould I appear in Lace or Embroidery, my Friends might affign it as no unreasonable Pretence for a Commiffion of Lunacy against me—I can scarce forbear digreffing on this Subject, when I reflect, what Numbers, who should know better, fet a Value upon thefe Trifles, which are fit Amusements only for Children. If they are pleased with the Finery only; they are no better than Children. If it is to gain refpect; fuch respect must come from the Vulgar, and not from Men of Senfe. Is it to fhew their Quality? it does not, for even Apprentices are fine. Is it to be an Evidence of their Riches? it is not; for the most neceffitous are finest, as Taylors know to their Coft. Do their Figure or Reputation depend on their Drefs? then they are entirely in the hand of the Taylor. He is the Engineer to guard and defend them; the God to fave or deftroy. Do they drefs to please the Ladies? that is the most reasonable End; yet very few of them but are wifer than to be taken with the Coat instead of the Man; and what can be taking in a Man, who invades their Province, and appears by his Actions to be one of them?-If it is a Lady that is fond of Finery; I afk her why? If she is a Beauty, fhe wants no Ornament; if plain, fhe cannot be transformed. Her Dress indeed may enliven her Poet's Fancy, and fave him a Journey to the Sun and Stars for his Similies and Allufions. If the Lady had not put on her Finery, we might have loft this polite and ingenious Stanza:

The

Th' adorning thee with fo much Art
Is but a barbarous Skill:

"Tis like the poifoning of a Dart,
Too apt before to kill.

Every Mother (like her in [1] Juvenal) hath prayed in the Temple of Venus, for the moft exquifite Beauty in her Children. But fince the Goddefs hath been thus deaf and unkind, I cannot advife any one of my Sect to be her profeffed Votary; for fhe will be as little propitious to his Wishes, as fhe was to his Mother's Prayer. A Helen will run away with a Paris; but where is the Nymph that will liften to fuch a Corydon? In vain will he summon the Mufes to his Aid, unaffifted as he is by the Graces. His [m] Sachariffa, Myra, Cloe, or Belinda, may, perhaps, tickle her Ear, but will never touch her Heart:

[n] Not Words alone please her.

Or if (as [0] Waller expreffes it) her high Pride should defcend to mark his Follies, it is the greatest Honour he can expect; unless, in a merry Mood, she should take it into her Head to treat him like [p] Falstaff, or Squire Slender. He will be the choiceft of Cupid's April Fools; and I will not fay an egregious

[] Formam optat modico pueris, majore puellis

Murmure, cùm Veneris fanum videt anxia mater,

Ufque ad delicias votorum.

Sat. x.

[m] Sacharia belongs to Waller, Myra to Lansdown, Cloe to Prior

and Belinda to Pope.

[n] Milton's Paradise loft, Book viii.

[o] In his Poem on Love.

[P] Merry Wives of Windsor,

Afs,