Page images

among those divine writers, as mine do, Thoughts, and we engage to furnish Mr Editor, when the hounds are not abundant amusement for the reader out, he would have known, that one by a review of them. Every one will indispensible requisite in a hunting- thus be a gainer. Here we pause. dinner is plenteousness, or rather profusion. But this is not the matter in hand. My object in writing was to know, whether you could find it consistent with your political conscience These asterisks might have been fillto slip in a little word in his favour. ed up with four hundred, fourscore, You have a powerful way with you; and four letters, (for such, on countand I should think, your lucubrations ing, we find are still left us); but, as must fall occasionally under the obser we before told the reader, we despise vation of the higher powers. Do try humbug,—or, as the grammarians your hand, Mr North. There is some write, “Omne quod exit in hum, seu thing about an accusing and a record. Greek-hum, sive Latine-hum ;", and, ing angel, which, I think, might be had we inserted the whole of our col. quoted with effect; but my English lection, we might have been suspected reading for these many years past has of filling our columns as the Times been confined to Jackson's Chronicle, did, with its list of public rejoicings (with the addition lately of your enters for the Queen; and Heaven forbid taining Miscellany,) and I cannot re that we should resemble that frantic fer to the passage. Perhaps you could Journal in any thing but its expedia extract something out of a dream. tious printing. Justice and Mercy are figures to come Nothing is perfect in life; and the at a beck. Excuse this prompting, and very fountain of pleasure, says a Latin

poet, has a well of bitterness in it.Your's very respectfully, Even our bliss is not without alloy. “ Mr Editor,

We have been the occasion of mischief “An OXFORDSHIRE SQUIRE.” in private families. Many letters, which should have begún My dear papa,

have ; We can devise no way by which the been found to begin My dearest North; law and this Greek-loving Squire may and with what confusion to the fair be equally satisfied, but by proposing writers it pains us to say. We have a commutation. Let Hobhouse take offered our hand to no less than ten the half, or, if possible, the whole of young ladies, to preserve peace in fahis brother-member's punishment; milies; and, through mere forgetfuland though it should extend to two, ness, had nearly subjected ourselves to four, six, or even twelvemonths, we, at an action for polygamy. least, shall not be the men to complain Again,-The Tailor at Yarrow Ford of it. There is a certain look about that has taken umbrage, and returned one little republican, which seems to mark of his copies. What does the ninthhim out fora visitation of this kind; and part of a man mean? But we defy his authorship fits him much more for him. He formerly read two copies confinement than Sir Francis. Let him once over each ; he will now read the amuse himself with writing Prison same copy over twice. Et voili tout.

believe me,

* We suspect that the Squire, (if it be possible that a country squire ever read Euripides,) adverts to a passage in the Hippolytus, implying, that nothing is so delightful, after a hard day's hunt, as a well-replenished table.

Τερπνον εκ κυναγιας
Τραπεζες πληρης.

In Hippol. 110.



Dear North,-You will, no doubt, long decided point with them; and, be both angry and surprised at my de- like my friend Byron, scattering lay in sending you a bulletin of my around cantos of his Don Juan, I can proceedings; but the truth is, that Í șit smoking my pipe in security and have been spending the last half-do- honour, beneath the shade of my alzen months in such a round of dissi- ready hard-earned, but, at the same pation and idleness, that, the devil time, honourably acquired laurels, take me if I could command my intellects, and abstain from the pleasures

“ Sublimi feriam sidera vertice.” of good fellowship, (including rare By the by, I was horribly angry, at stuffing and strong drink,) for half an first sight, with observing, in that exhour together. i have been literally, quisite

morceau of thirty pages, " The since the fragment of a letter I wrote I'ête-a-Tête," what you have said with you from Killarney, hurried about regard to my abstracting the memo from one quarter of the Emerald Isle randum book of your Irish sale, and to the other; and, as I was generally the sarcasm on my pantaloons; but “ no that fou, but just a drappie in my features gradually relaxed to a my e'e,” I have been fortunate enough smile, and my pulse subsided to the to collect such a knowledge of the Irish natural standard ; and at last, to use peasantry, both male and female, at the expression of our friend Hogg, I fairs, and otherwise, as fully to entitle could not help bursting into “ a loud me to commence my intended work gaffaw” at the joke, for you certainly “On the National Manners of Ire- intended it for such. Not that I am land, with a Preliminary Dissertation, by any means thin-skinned—you know. fully and satisfactorily proving that Morgan too well for that, but I was Ossian was a Native, and his Poems afraid that such an imputation thrown Authentic.” But the work is as yet out in public against the honour of a only in limine, as,

military man, allowing me to have taWha o'study then could think, ken away the sale-book by willing mis

Wi' sic gude fallows, by him ? take, might injure me in the eyes of “Pretty goings on,” you will be the comrades at whose side I have very apt to exclaim, most sage Chris- fought in the day of battle ; but these topher,"Pretty goings on, Mr Stan- scruples were speedily hushed to rest, dardbearer.” But hold—what merit, to use a poetical simile, like the cackpray, have you, in your sober, genteel, ling of an old goose, when an ounce of staid, and very retired life, when it is No. 6. is lodged in his head ; and I rea thing not of choice, but of necessity; membered, to my no small satisfaction, and when, (probably,) if you had good that few of them knew any thing of health, and if the spirit of the gout books, except the Heavy Dragoon, and and rheumatism (oh fye, Dr Balfour!) about other six more. were quietly consigned over to the Red I am determined to take a month of Sea, the morning would be spent in hard study to reduce me, as I am three tollowing the hounds, the afternoon stones, seven pounds, and two or three over the bottle with your friends, and neither-here-nor-there ounces heavier the evening at the theatre, (not the since I left “ Edina, Scotia’s darling new one,) or in walking with belles in seat;" and though I have not ordered the George's Street Assembly Rooms? myself to be chained to my chair, in But, joking aside, I am a little asha- imitation of Alfieri, I have ordered my med of my late way of living; and, as landlady for a fortnight to come to the first fruits of my repentance, and, lock my door on the outside, and neiwere it for no other reason than just ther to allow ingress nor egress, except to make up matters between us, you for the sake of recruiting my corporeal will find in the sequel of this packet a man. Eight days are already over and few scraps, which certainly, were this gone, and I am beginning to become my first interview with the public, more reconciled to my situation. I can might not give them any very high now sit with tolerable comfort for a pinion of me; but luckily this is a spare half-hour at my window,

[ocr errors]

6 died away

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Which nought admits save day,
And tasteless food, which I have eat alone,
Till its unsocial bitterness is

And I can banquet like a beast of prey,
Sullen and lonely couching in the cave,

Which is my den, and it may be—my grave! You will doubtless observe that these achiever of this mighty enterprize; lines do not altogether apply; but they and, if I fail, there is certainly no one, certainly are very fine.

but the author of Waverley, who has Speaking of Byron, what the deuce the least chance of succeeding. I am can he mean by thus bantering us, - hesitating whether or not, after the

by thus whetting and disappointing fashion of the Greeks, to introduce a .

the public taste? First, we had among chorus, but I have resolved, notwithour literary notices an annunciation of standing the remonstrances of ArisDon Juan, Cantos Third and Fourth; totle, to pay no attention to the rules but month after month elapsed, and of dramatic unity, but to introduce at length the report

whatever will serve my purpose. It is

to be a national tragedy, and the scene Into the light of common day." laid in the Highlands of Scotland. The Then we had “ Parga, a poem, name you may have heard before ; do but his lordship wishing to try the you think it will do—“ Alexander

taste of the Greek-reading public, (we Macpherson, or the Black Revenge!" 6 would like to know if it be extensive,) The plot I shall not at present trouble

had it translated into Romaic, and dis- you with, but I think it will answer to tributed gratis, like lottery puffs, and a nicety; and for stage effect, let me cheap sales, among the peasants, to alone for that. I am very much of rouse in them the spirit of their an opinion, that a variety of costume in cestors, which seems of late to have the actors, has a grand, and, at the declined a little. We are credibly in same time, a natural effect on the formed, that not a few have put them- stage, and I trust that your humble

selves to school, in order to have a servant has as much good sense as to preading of his lordship's present. follow the suggestions of his judg

Then we had the lamentation of ment. The body-guard of MacpherDante, or rather we were to have, as son consists of five Mamelukes, and a the midwife of the Muses has either negro sharpshooter,--the cher amie of strangled it, or the manuscript has Macgregor Aurora, one of the chiefbeen sent to sea, and lost in a storm tains, is à Circassian damsel, taken by shipwreck. We regret this very captive in Palestine, during the Holy much, as I had a preface of nine pages War; and an itinerant knight, conwritten out to commencé a review of cealed in the disguise of a Jew doctor, it, whenever it appeared ; but which is made to flourish occasionally on the I am quite determined not to lose, as stage, with a Turkish turban, and a I will stitch it to the front of the very long bushy black beard. The fifth first poem, on whatever subject it may act shews blood, and slaughter ad libibe, whether serious or comic, that I tum ; I at once cry havoc, and let may happen to take notice of, in “my slip the dogs of War.” But a tragrandmother's review, the British." gedy needs now and then to be a little The Doge of Venice, which was the enlivening, that the horrors may shew last horse entered for the plate, will the greater by contrast, as the sun

certainly be the first to come in for the seems larger through a smoked glass; Sende sweepstakes. Talking of tragedies, and Shakespeare introduces his grave

what do you think of Barry Cornwall's digger singing in Hamlet, and Lewis Mirandola ? For my part, I think it has introduced Father Philip, with his is simple, and sweet enough, but it cowardice and round belly, into the wholly wants thews and sinews-Ber- Castle Spectre. It takes off the unitram, and Fazio, and Evadne, are but so formly sombre effect, and throws us so; and not at all calculated to do away off our guard, so that

we may be shockhujus seculi opprobrium," as being ed more securely. The Jew-doctor's fine tragedies. *Í blush when I deo address to his customers I have intende clare to you, that I have a fiery and ed do I fail or not?-to be of this unquenchable thirst, to be myself the character.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]


Ye, gentlemen, and laidies, come here, and I assure ye,
Upon the hounor of my showl, most certainly to cure ye;
Just peep


my budget, and whatsoever grieve ye,

Just take a dose,

And off it goes ;
By Moses 'twill relieve ye:
With my rhubarb, aloes, hellabore,

Salts, colocynth, and manna,
My album græcum, devil's dung,

And Ipecacuanha !!
The people swears as how I give unconshunable doses,
That Mordecai just cureth one, for every ten he loses, bir
Ah! goot folks do not heed them, and whatsoever grieve yey

Just take a dose,

And off it goes,
Most certain to relieve ye; -
With my hartshorn powder, senna leaves,

My sassafras, and snake-root,
And other drugs that in the stomach

Very seldom take root.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Macpherson's address to his followers before leading them to the field, is the only soliloquy of another character, with which I will at present treat you.

Ye plumed men of war, ye warriors brave,
Whose steps have trodden down the mountain snows';
From their high nests scaring the eaglets bald ;
To whom the pibroch is a merry hymn,
And danger and destruction are a scoff!
Ye hairy-thigh'd, and sinewy multitude,
Whose fiery tresses, floating on the gale,
Threaten to wrap all nature in a flame !
Ye ever true, whose tartans stream afar,
Like rainbows in the morning sun, when showers
Have pass’d away; and, with a splendid pride,
The orient mountain glows, and round the streams
Flow in perpetual music through the vale
Ye brawny armed! that round your heads can swing
The claymore with an ease, as if no more
Its weight than wheaten straw-too rarely seen
On highland hills, where only green heath blooms ;
Ye high of heart, to whom the glorious deeds
Of ancestors departed, are well known';
How ten times, in one day, upon the field,
They routed Danish foes, and reared their cairns,
With mossy stones in desart solitudes;
How often, stemming with determined prow
The midnight sea, while stormy winds around
Howl'd dismally, they plied the bending oars,
And raising up the blazing torch, illumed
With glorious light the mansions of their foes.
How, round their chieftain, they have thronged to save
His head in battle broil, and spill’d their blood,
That his might run in safety through his veins !

Ye bold determined hosts, surpassing far< < 04.03.13
zato ,VAchilles, and his Myrmidons, or those
13ts)Who follow'd Ajax, son of Telamon,
3.03. To Troy's proud towers; and, after ten years' siege,
31 istrs Destroy'd it, laying waste its palaces,

And leaving only to the serpent train
Dens, where in safety they might crawl and breed.

[ocr errors]

Ye patriot phalanx, firmer than the hosts
Of Grecian Alexander, Philip's son,
(Who caught a cold, by bathing in the stream
Of Cydnus, river cold ; subdued the world,
And died at thirty-two.)-Ye trusty bands !
As trusty and determined as the troops
Of him, the sable prince, Black Edward, young,
That, on the field of Cressy, captive took
France's fallen king, his host and baggage train,
With cars, and carts unnumber'd, fifes and drums;
And brought him home to England's capital,
Upon a war-horse, riding like a god;
While, at his side, upon a galloway,
Of colour dun, the meek-eyed conqueror sate:
As told by Hume, the great historian, dead
Long since, and buried on the Calton-hill.
Ye lions, to whom earth from all her dens

Can furnish forth no parallel, follow me!! I shall make no comment on this, and delicate satire on every thing that but leave it to speak for itself in the is bombastic in description, sounding bosoms of the patriotic.

in epithet, and sickly in sentiment. I Apropos I had almost forgot to will, however, lift the curtains of satire mention to you the novel I have taken with a fastidious hand, and let in the in hand for the edification of society; torchlight of ridicule on those who are mind I do not say amusement, but edi- snoring on the feather-bed of error. I fication. Let not my countrywoman, intend, indeed, to teach my fellowMiss Edgeworth, suppose, that I am creatures “ as if I taught them not." going to take her task out of her teeth, If the satire is too fine to produce its by cutting up the Irish noblemen as prayed-for effect on the readers of cirabsentees, or write flashing chapters on culating libraries, and on those fair morality to conciliate the Jews. Let damsels of the Minerva press, who not my second cousin, Lady Morgan, write more than they read, all that think, that I am going to give such de- Odoherty can say is, that no man, even scriptions of Irish peasantry as those in Duke Wellington himself, can do more Florence Macarthy. Let not Miss Por- than he is able. It will be announced ter imagine, that I am to put flesh and in a few weeks, in seven duodecimo bones on the skeletons of history, as volumes, as follows : she has done in the Scottish Chiefs - GEORGINA GEORGINETTA MacGaw, or represent the Wallace wight, dying Or the forlorn Lady of Castle Turretof hysterics, with a smelling bottle at

Tower. his nose, and a white pocket handkere I will treat you with a portion (to chief between his finger and thumb. use a dear word of my friend Nr Let none of the spinsters of the Mi- Wordsworth) of the first chapter, as a nerva press think, that I am going to specimen of the style, manner, and spicommence a race with them, and write rit in which the work is composed. twenty volumes a-year for their twelve. No such thing; Odoherty has a higher, Janetta Georgina Georginetta, was and more honourable motive in view. the only daughter of Sir Rory MacObserving, of late, the alarminginroads gaw, surnamed, from the colour of his that depraved taste, and sickly senti- nasal protuberance, of the fiery counment, are rapidly making into the ter- tenance. “Fate had reft the widow. ritories of good sense and sound prin- ed heart” of the worthy knight; and, ciple, I have determined, stimulated by like a solitary stockelove in the gloom a deep sense of the duties I owe to mye of the profound forest, he mourned self and society, to put a stop to this over the partner of his youthful days, evil, and direct the national taste into once the source of all his felicity, and proper channels. Mine is not to be a now the object of his bitterest regret. production like “ Thornton Abbey," But providence is kind ; "sufficient

Celebs in Search of a Wife," a for the day is the evil thereof,” and he light work, with a serious object in could not be deemed utterly bereft, view; I intend my book to be a gentle when possessed of such a daughter, the


« PreviousContinue »