Page images


[ocr errors]

Led street, no way distinguishable, ex- the stroke of eight, and hobble off, as cept by our rheumatism, from ordinary if afraid to lose our seat in the coach.

The mile's hobble gives us quite a new In Glasgow, i. e. the West Country, appetite ; and, by the time we are faire we are so excessively popular, that we ly in the heart of the city, we feel ra

have not the smallest doubt, that were ther hungry for breakfast. We have j we to stand for Renfrewshire, we should secured ourselves against this antici

oust young Mr Maxwell, or did we pated emotion, and call in upon a affect the boroughs, might render all bachelor subscriber in Queen or Milthe hopes of squire or cit an empty lar-street, whom we generally find dream. What a scramble for us in with his eyes staring in his head, un

the Coffee-room! We chanced to look der the fumés of a tumbler of soda3.5

in, on the last day of publication. We water, which he is inhaling with the were cooling our heels at the fire, a most savage satisfaction. There, we few chairs from the gander, whose prefer butter-toast, nor decline the face was reflecting additional dulness rizzard haddock. We make ourselves on the Scotsman, when all present, more than usually delightful to ouryoung, old, and middle-aged, sprung selves and the other, till ten strikes in to their feet, and rushed pell-mell to the lobby, and our friend is off to the one table, like bees who had found Coffee-room. We regret exceedingly their

queen. It was Blackwood's Ma- that we leave town by the Telegraph gazine that had been laid down. One at twelve. We accordingly visit another

of the Banditti, dressed in a sort of friend in one of the squares, and are reb

Hussar uniform, had siezed the prize, asked to dinner. The thing is imposand held it so tight, that we trembled sible- mwe must start at twelve. Well, for poor George Buchanan, who grew you will surely take a lunch? Wesmile;

black in the face within his grasp. and Grizzy is ordered to prepare a det

The Bandit's long yellow spurs were beef-stake. Instanter, the sound of by no means idle among the legs be- the wooden beetle is heard, softening low-and at last he cleared his way the obdurate heart of the rump; into a corner, where he sat with us ex- the music of the frying-pan follows ; panded before him, and with about six and before eleven o'clock we have stout under-writers on each shoulder, made shift to swallow a pound of all gloating on the yet unenjoyed stot-beef, which, in the West Country, charms of virgin Maga.

beats our stot-beef bere all to sticks. Would to heaven some ingenious A swig or two of brown-stout, and a person could suggest to us an expedient few bumpers of old port, encourage us for mitigating our sufferings under the to look forward to a six hour's jourhospitality of the unparalleled people ney without fear of starvation ; at least of the West! How can we, in three we trust to ourselves as far as the Halfor four days, and our stay in Glasgow way-house. We never take a ticket rarely exceeds that period, dine with a beforehand, and so contrive to allow the population of 140,000 souls? We do Telegraph to set off without us. our best to gratify them; and our bit- are in despair. At four o'clock we terest enemy will not dare to say that must go, since we have thus been we ever refused an invitation to the cheated out of our seat at twelve. But, smallest or shortest meal of all the six, as good luck would have it, we meet the without evident symptoms of extreme Major and a posse of other friends in sorrow. Our plan is as follows:-We front of the Black Bull, and tell them engage ourselves to breakfast with a of the sad necessity that forces us to married subscriber and ten children, abandon the West Country, and all that at seven o'clock, if in summer, on the our heart holds most dear, in less than plea of being obliged to leave the West four hours, A party is collected, and

Country by the mail at half past eight. we attack the cold round. Being ra* We select a suburban subscriber for ther sharp set, we ply a knife and

this breakfast, either beyond Gorbals fork to the astonishment of the West; or on the Saughie-ha road. Accept- and, half in joke, half in earnest, proing with difficulty our fifth cup of pose a leetle bowl of cold punch. The tea, to wash over the lug of our latest Major mingles and we are blest. In roll, and crushing our last egg-shell in the pride of the moment we volunteer the ear of our host's little daughter by the making of the next bowl. We way of a parting practical, we start up on fail. It is as strong as a horse. We


[ocr errors]


try in vain to mend it. First water, dislike us but the most violent of the then rum, then water again, then a radicals—and it is satisfactory to know, squeeze of the yellow, then a plump of that of the twenty new Sunday-clubs, the saccharine, and finally, another not one takes us in. None of the most splash of the baser fluid. Nothing respectable booksellers think their winwill do; and we hurriedly finish off dow worth looking at unless George the bowl in despair. Thus fleet the Buchanan be there--and many a pretty silver-ladled hours, till the guard's group of brown duffles congregates horn sounds as if it were as tall as near the shop of our good friend Mr the Ram's Horn itself; and Crichton, admiring the placid features must be off to Edinburgh at last. of the sage. Most of those who were Our friends can with difficulty re- accustomed to speak against our work frain from unnecessarily wetting the have left Paisley; and we have under. table with their tears. We fling

stood that it is the intention of some ourselves from them in an agony, but, of the more ingenious among them to meeting the Colonel at the foot of the establish a press in New South Wales. Candleriggs, we give up our design Sale in Paisley about 300. against the “ four o'clock," and, to Port - Glasgow is a pretty little avoid a quarrel, go with him to take town-and the people are becomherrings and hotch-potch. We regret ing considerably more erudite. It having seen so little of our Glasgow may, however, be doubted, if they friends this visit, and beg the Co- yet make punch so well as at Glaslonel to make no apologies for the din- gow. Be that as it may, the sale ner, as hunger is good kitchen, and we of the Magazine is increasing there have not eat any thing all day. After it is quoted as a standard work-and dinner, a few Professors from the cola we shrewdly suspect that we have a lege come stepping in-We have a lurking contributor there, one of the game or two at bowls, and then, af- fair sex, who must be indeed the most ter half-a-dozen rubbers of whist, faithful of women, as she has paid her giving up all idea of supping out, we

addresses to us for the last three years, tackle to some excellent pickle sale in very impassioned and well-spelt mon, and hot kidnies, with an eye oc- epistles, and is regularly ready with casionally leering towards our old her article once a month. Hitherto friend, the punch bowl, on the sile- we have declined to insert-but the board, who, after supper, is brought last piece was the best, and she seems forward in all his sinooth rotundity, now in a promising way. The other and encircled with glasses in a man- piece, to which she alludes in her conner illustrative of the wonders of one versation of August, was safely depart of the Solar System.

livered some time ago. Sale considere 1. For Jove's satellites are less than Jove.” able.

Being fond of early hours, we In Greenock the Magazine is lookwill not, on any account, allow the fas

ing up. We are sorry to understand cination of the Colonel and Professors, that we have given offence there, but to keep us out of our lodgings later we cannot find to whom or wherefore. than three o'clock-and by six, we rise All we know is, that there is a vague again like a giant refreshed, and re- feeling of offence floating over part of sume our depredations. By this pro- the town. A sort of dissatisfaction is cess, which is, however, hard upon us, occasionally seen louring on the faces and which we positively could never of men seemingly well off in the world yet stand above eight days in succes- -and it is whispered in the streets sion, we keep up our Magazine, and that we are the cause of the gloom. contrive to lay in a number of admir- We are perfectly willing to make any able articles.

reasonable apology for occasioning abIn Paisley we are more upon cere- surd faces of that nature. But if we mony with our friends—and at the are disagreeable to them, how much grand dinner lately given to us in that more disagreeable must they be to us? handsor inn, the Abercorn-arms, Only let us know what the Greenock we are told that we left behind us the people want, and they shall have it, most favourable impression. From but this pouting and peevishness is the Sneddon to Maxwell-town there is not like them-so no more of it. 127. not a street in which some families We find that it will not be in our do not patronize the Magazine. None power to give the returns from the


at other towns and villages in Scotland, since Blackwood's Magazine was taken lite in this Number. Let us shortly ad- in there; and the Miss Ritchies in(142 vert to our hill and mountain sale. form us, that from the 20th to the

A party was formed against us for 25th of the month, their house is a while, at first, in the south of like a bee-hive. Young gentlemen ESL Scotland. The old Scots Magazine who go to Peebles for a little trouting, He had always kept a conscientious are seen with the rod in the one hand, out register of the fall of rain, and was and the Magazine in the other; so we

extremely accurate in snow and are literally read all down the Tweed, di hail-storms. The marriage-list had by Inverleithen, Clovenford, Melrose, រដ្ឋ។

a high character, and, be- and Kelso. We ourselves now are m lieve, deservedly so-and the obituary burgesses of Peebles, and a set of the Brew was well conducted. The picture, too, Magazine has been superbly bound, in de of a sheep or a man's face-of the with the arms of the Corporation, and the Rumbling-bridge, or Mr Runciman the deposited in the Town-Hall. the painter, took prodigiously; nor was Froin the Highlands of Scotland

the “ High-water at Leith” without the returns are most encouraging. tp , its effect. In this way the work got The steam-boats carry us to Inverary, e të a footing in the vallies of the South, from which we take the gig to Cladich, Tudit and from Moffat to Kelso the old on to Dalmally, and so up Glenorchy ii woman was taken in and lodged com- and elsewhere. We drop ourselves até fortably in the spence. The worthy all round about Loch Awe, and there the shepherds of the forest, and parts ad- has been some talk lately of having us g the jacent, thought it cruel to give her up, translated into Gaelic. The steamFort- and were afraid to trust her with boat also takes about 250 to Fort e by George Buchanan. But when she William, and when the navigation of ne od got a green gown, at her time of life, the Caledonian Canal is completely I thi she was shewn the door very general- open, which by the late report of the spai ly, and has now left the country-side Commissioners, we see is likely soon rem altogether. Still we were not much to be the case, we have no doubt, that Tek relished. David Bryden constantly in a few years we shall have done more adri abused us, and that set the Farmer's to civilize the Highlands, than either Ho Club at Selkirk and Hawick against Mr Brown of Biggar, or Mr Legh bu us. We question much if at first we Richmond. We have preached at shee were understood in a pastoral country. Icolmkill, as well as that last named Ther Hogg said we were not. Laidlaw reverend gentleman ; indeed, we have

ber: maintained we were. For a while no doubt, much better; though we afat we were suspected of being jocular- believe he thinks that he has con

but by degrees our love of the naked verted a Jew, which is more than truth came to be felt and acknowledg- we hope ever to do. The good peo

ed--and soon as we were admitted to ple of Inverness were nettled with ndas be mere matter-of-fact men, the tide us, for speaking slightingly of their heti changed in our favour, and now there earthquake, but it was only in the her is not a single south country farmer who scientific department where there are

does not pin his faith on our sleeve. no jokes, and when it was explained

Seven hundred copies go monthly that we were serious, our subscribers taro in among the hills and the most were satisfied, and we intend to praise thi1 puzzling subscriber we have is the their next earthquake very much. At her worthy tailor at Yarrow Ford, who Aberdeen we are less read than at Inver

takes two copies--on what principle ness, which is odd, as we believe there we do not, and probably never shall is an University there. Montrose is understand. He regularly reads not so literary a place as Brechin, by both copies ; not as if he were the difference between a dozen and a collating them, but one after the score, and of all kingdoms on the face other; and our present theory is, that of the earth, next to Dahomey, the he imagines them to be two sepa- kingdom of Fife is the most illiterate, rate works, occasionally treating of the that is to say, in the interior of the same subjects, but with an agreeable country. We sell about six score along variety of argument and illustration. the coast, from the East Neuk to the

God preserve us, we had almost bay of Aberdour. forgot to mention Peebles. The busi- Such is a faint sketch of our land ness at the Hotel has just doubled itself, sale. But we have property to a cone

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]


siderable amount afloat. Every steam The publisher takes the one boat in Britain and America has half, and we the other, i. e. £4000. per Blackwood's Magazine; all British annum, each-for the £940 goes for packets, most ships of war, and some bad debts, charity, dinners at Amthousand sail of merchantmen. We brose's, and presents of books, hams, believe that Blackwood and Baldwin &c. to our favourite contributors. We were the first periodical works that ever have become great speculators lately went up in a balloon. Young Sadler in the stocks; and as we bought in took us up. When about 4000 feet £3500 t'other day at 66 and a fraction, above the earth, the balloon remained we hope to clear some hundreds by the stationary, and the intrepid aeronaut spring of the year, which we shall send threw Baldwinout. The balloon in nine to Mr Michael Linning, as our mite toseconds, gained 3000 feet of ascent. wards the erection of the Parthenon. It penetrated a thunder-cloud, and If stocks do not rise, we cannot subMr Sadler, junior, let us gently slip scribe. overboard. As if so much


had We have, we perceive, made a very been allowed to escape, the balloon foolish and important error in this descended with great rapidity, and the statement. Instead of standing us in aeronaut had a narrow escape.

Mr one shilling, each copy costs but nineSadler was of opinion that but for us, pence; so that you must add to our he could not have ascended with annual income a fourth of £8940, or Baldwin. Perhaps no periodical but £2235. It frequently happens, too, ourselves ever went down in a diving, that we ourselves write copiously, and, bell. We accompanied the Bishop of of course, we are paid for what we

and a party of young ladies, write at the highest rate, namely £21 and when we came ashore, were just per sheet. Say we write, one month like fish out of the water. But we are with another, two sheets, and you will forgetting our sale in Ireland, so let find that yields us some poundsover 500. us cross the Channel.

Add this 500 to the half of 2235, and Ireland.- As bad luck would have you have upwards of £1,600! Nay, it, Mr Blackwood has mislaid the farther, whatever article is sent to us book in which he keeps the Irish de- gratis, we pocket for it 20 guineas. partment of our sale. In a note we This is one of the articles of our agreehave this moment received from him, ment. In short, we find that, as edi. he tells us, that he had fondly hoped tor and contributor, we nett about that it had been left at Ambrose's, last £6000 per annum ; and that our pubgreat Quarterly dinner, but that lisher and contributor (for he has writmine host could not find it among his ten some very fair articles) Mr Blackledgers, and has an indistinct re- wool, cannot well pocket less than collection of O'Doherty carrying it £5000 per annum ; which we do most away beneath his arm at day-break. disinterestedly wish he may long live

we request the Adjutant, to enjoy. wherever this meets his eye, to re- Gracious heavens! another most egreturn our Irish register immediately. gious omission is just staring us in the

We find that we must leave Ameri- face, We have been supposing our ca, Asia, and Africa, to a future Num- whole 17,000 copies to be sold at two ber.

shillings only; whereas Mr Blackwood II. We are absolutely coining money. has upwards of 2,500 private subscri-There can be no occasion to dwell bers, who, of course, tip him their long on this part of our subject. Any half-crowns. This, we find, puts into person can calculate the profits on his pocket £375 per annum, and a like 17,000 copies. The trade has them sum into our own. We think that we at 2s. a copy: say that paper, print- foresee other errors in our calculaing, advertising, postages, and all oth- tion-all telling against ourselves; er incidental expenses, cost one shile but we are quite worn out with this ling a copy, you have 17,000 shillings, constant rising up of new objects in or £850, clear profit, per month. We the long vista of our prosperity ; so, pay 10, 15, or 20 guineas per sheet- for heaven's sake, add a few hundreds, take 15 on the average-seven sheets, for errors excepted, and you will have 105 guineas per month, leaving £745 the amount of our income (from this clear profit per month. Multiply that one work at least) with as much accuby 12, and we have 48,940 per an- racy as the nature of the subject ad

If so,


[ocr errors]

mits of. We are inclined to suspect, and the nose? The rope of onions is

that, with the exception of the author really, at present, an imposing rope of 10 of the novels, whoever he may be, li- onions enough, as it keeps swirling

terature has been fully more lucrative about, in obedience to every motion of

to Christopher North than to any of Mr Jeffrey ; but were Mr Jeffrey to sk his great contemporaries.

die, or join us, either of which would II. Having thus, agreeably to our make him immortal, what would bepromise to the public, made her our come of the vegetables ? It is plain,

confident in this momentous affair, then, that our excellent friend cannot, ber

we go on to shew that we are desery- without much cruelty, join us and our ing of our good fortune, and that our party in the state.

Ten years ago, success in life is creditable both to the young Whig was non sordidus ourselves and to our subscribers. Our auctor,” considerable shakes ; but now merits are so numerous, in our opini- they are all asses.

It needs strong on, and so conspicuous, that the great nerves to ask a young Edinburgh

difficulty lies in selection. We hope, Whig the very simplest question. He der therefore, that the Public will pardon immediately takes his ground, and be

us, though we begin by calling her at- gins to bray. Mr Coleridge says, that inge tention, first, to virtues that may seem in nature there is nothing melancholy. biti to her only entitled to after-consider- We beg his pardon---there is. The

ation. She will, we are sure, extend bray of a young Edinburgh Whig 494 indulgence to us, in the midst of the is more melancholy than any thing in

manifold difficulties attendant on an the whole compass of art. There is noELST attempt to do justice to our own in- thing half so much so in Burton's Anaz comparable excellencies.

tomy. What discomforting ups and First, then, it seems to us that we downs! What lugubrious deep draws ! me i have deserved well of our country, by What unintentional shriekings! What ad un putting down, or at least reducing to wretched prosody! What mistakes of Tscient their proper level, the Whigs. Their longs for shorts! Then, with what a pair i extreme arrogance, and their want of of eyes he looks at you, when his oraD!' principle, had been smoked by other tion is closed ! and with what immeas

clear-sighted and intelligent persons urable ears the creature seems listen-
before our time; though, perhaps, we ing for your reply!
have put the finishing strokes to the Of the London Whigs we know less

picture of their pride and dishonesty: now than we did some twenty years met but their incredible dullness and stu- ago. Thomas Moore is the only man the pidity had escaped general observation of genius among them, but, whatever ne bi till we pointed it out; and then, to be else he may have inade of his politics, Mit sure, it was obvious as Arthur's Seat he has most certainly not made good por St Paul's. Mr Jeffrey is the only poetry.

We have heard that he clever Whig in Scotland ; and it please threatened to attack us and our Magaes us to see him so much admired by zine. Now, invaluable little fellow as ourselves and correspondents. His he is, does he think in his heart that followers are but a poor, dull set ; and he is any match for us in playful, we have long felt for him-obliged to kind-hearted, slashing satire. Let tolerate such adherents. We have not him just try--and Mr Wastle will let the least doubt that he would come him have a Canto of the Mad Banker over to us, if his goodness of heart did --Lauerwinkel a letter-and ourselves not prevent him from abandoning the an article. But all this is episodical. helpless. In what a deplorable condi- Well, except this accomplished, witty, tion would he leave them all, were he and fanciful scholar, where is there a to come over to us! What would be- Whig in England-an avowed and come of all that concatenation of young absolute Whig—that, as a literary and elderly gentlemen that now dangles man, is fairly out of the class of third behind him, close to his very heels, raters ? Lord Holland is somewhat like onions on a string, were he to cut feeble, and somewhat clumsy - Mr them all off with a shilling, and let Brougham, who cannot well be called them trundle away, each its several cir- a literary man, has drawn the character cuit; from your large, fat, yellow, in- of my Lord Lauderdale in the Edinsipid onion, to your little, lean, fiery, burgh Review, and the likeness, though bitter onionet, so distressing to both strong, is not flattering—Mr Hobsides of the question, both the eyes house has not an English feeling about

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

2) ,



« PreviousContinue »