Of science and knowledge he chatters,
As fine and as fast as he can;
Though I am no judge of such matters,
I'm sure he's a talented man.
His stories and jests are delightful ;–
Not stories or jests, dear, for you;
The jests are exceedingly spiteful,
The stories not always quite true.
Perhaps to be kind and veracious
May do pretty well at Lausanne ;
But it never would answer,-good gracious!
Chez nous-in a talented man.
He sneers, how my Alice would scold him!— At the bliss of a sigh or a tear;
He laughed-only think!—when I told him How we cried o'er Trevelyan last year;
I vow I was quite in a passion;
I broke all the sticks of my fan ; But sentiment's quite out of fashion, It seems, in a talented man.
Lady Bab, who is terribly moral,
Has told me that Tully is vain,
And apt-which is silly-to quarrel,
And fond-which is sad-of champagne.
I listened, and doubted, dear Alice,
For I saw, when my Lady began,
It was only the Dowager's malice ;-
She does hate a talented man!
He's hideous, I own it. But fame, love,
Is all that these eyes can adore ;
He's lame, but Lord Byron was lame, love,
And dumpy, but so is Tom Moore.
Then his voice,-such a voice! my sweet creaturė,
It's like your aunt Lucy's toucan:
But oh what's a tone or a feature,
When once one's a talented man?
My mother, you know, all the season,
Has talked of Sir Geoffrey's estate;
And truly, to do the fool reason,
He has been less horrid of late.
But to-day, when we drive in the carriage,
I'll tell her to lay down her plan ;-
If ever I venture on marriage,
It must be a talented man!
P.S.-I have found, on reflection,
One fault in my friend,―entre nous;
Without it, he'd just be perfection;-
Poor fellow, he has not a sou!
And so, when he comes in September
To shoot with my uncle, Sir Dan,
I've promised mamma to remember
He's only a talented man!
WINTHROP MACKWORTH PRAED.
THE DASHING YOUNG FELLOW.
O Pygwyggyne is going to marry-
What a number of hearts it will vex!
In fact it will quite play old Harry
With the feelings of half the fair sex.
I believe he's of kin to a Duke,
Or a Marquis, or else to an Earl,
And I know he's a dashing young fellow,
And she's a most fortunate girl!
Yes, indeed, he's a dashing young fellow-
A three-bottle man, as they say;
And he's always good-natured when mellow,
As long as he gets his own way.
Cards, billiards, and hazard he'll play,—
His whiskers most charmingly curl,-
In short, he's a dashing young fellow,
And she's a most fortunate girl!
His horse he can sit like a centaur,
He rides like a trump to the hounds;
His tailor he owes, I may venture
To say, ten or twelve hundred pounds.
His bills and his bets have no bounds,
He can fence, box, row, steer, reef, and furl,Oh! by Jove! he's a dashing young fellow, And she's a most fortunate girl!
Though to business he never attended,
His great talents for it appear,-
For he lives in a style that is splendid,
On an income of nothing a year.
Now his bride's handsome fortune will clear
(For the present) his credit from peril-
In fact, he's a dashing young fellow,
And she's a most fortunate girl!
He keeps dogs and guns in large forces,
A tiger (a comical elf),
And seven or eight tall Irish horses,
Which he loves more than aught save himself.
That he marries the lady for pelf
Sure none can suspect but a churl
For you know he's a dashing young fellow,
And she's a most fortunate girl!
At the pistol to none he'll surrender,
As witness his deeds at Chalk Farm;
Yet his heart as a dove's is as tender,
For to every fair face it can warm.
I would not the ladies alarm,
But you know good advice is a pearl-
Don't marry a dashing young fellow,
If you are a sensible girl!
WILLIAM MACQUORN RANKINE.
THE HANDSOMEST MAN IN THE ROOM.
'VE always been told that I'm pretty
(And really I think so myself),
I'm accomplished, good-tempered, and
witty,
And papa has got plenty of pelf.
My teeth, eyes, and curls, I won't mention,
My shape, nor my delicate bloom;
But I'm sure I deserve the attention
Of" the handsomest man in the room,"
Yes, I know I deserve the attention,
Of" the handsomest man in the room."
When I met that sublimest of fellows,
The sight really made my heart jump; Other men shrank to mere punchinellos, As he towered like a pine in a clump. So noble and classic each feature,
With a touching expression of gloom, That I said to myself "The dear creature! He's the handsomest man in the room!" "Yes!" I said to myself,-"The dear creature! He's the handsomest man in the room!"
He asked me if I'd walk a measure,
(When he came it was nearly midnight)—
I said "With a great deal of pleasure,"
For he danced like a perfect delight.
So in waltzing and polking we sported,
Till supper sent forth its perfume,
And I went down to table, escorted
By "the handsomest man in the room
Yes, I went down to table, escorted
By "the handsomest man in the room."
I thought 'twas a nice situation,
So snugly together we sat,
And in hopes of a pleasant flirtation,
I tried to engage him in chat.
But, to talk of himself never backward,
He strove modest airs to assume,
For he told me, he felt very awkward
As "the handsomest man in the room Really, really, one does feel so awkward, As "the handsomest man in the room!"
Thought I-"This is really too stupid!
Your good looks are very well known,
But you ought to know, Grenadier Cupid,
That I'd much rather hear of my own."
Yet should he reform in this one thing
(Of which there are hopes, I presume),
We still may contrive to make something
Of the handsomest man in the room,
Yes, we still may contrive to make something
Of the handsomest man in the room.
WILLIAM MACQUORN RANKINE.
|