A FAIR PROPOSITION. A man was brought up before an Austin justice of the peace, charged with trying to pass a lead counterfeit half dollar.

What do you mean by trying to palm off such a miserable counterfeit as that on the intelligent people of this University city?"

The prisoner said he didn't mean anything.

"That will not go down with this court. You might have got a better counterfeit than that. How could you expect to deceive the public with that sort of a coin? If I couldn't get up a better counterfeit than that I would be ashamed of my

self."

"Well, judge," said the counterfeiter, "I am a business man, and if you have any better counterfeit than that half dollar, show me your samples, and if the price suits, I'll buy all of my counterfeit money from you. If you don't like that, I'll go in with you on shares."

Judicial indignation, and the committal followed.

A. E. SWEET.

SWALLOWING THE PARROT.

BY TOBE HODGE.

WITH AN ILLUSTRATION (THE FOOL'S CONFESSION).

"What's that you're reading. Colonel? 'Pears to me like you're allus reading something when I come yer. You're like old Parson Booker, that takes onter the Scriptures powerful. I comed in one day, and he wuz a readin' 'em, and he looks over his glasses, and sez he, 'Tim, did you ever read about our Lord and Savior in the corn-patch?'

"Sez I, I disremember, Parson, but I

reckon I has.'

"Sed he, "Tim, I've just been readin' roasten ears as well as the rest of us.' about it, and it 'pears to me he liked

about, Colonel? I see you got a pictur “Now, what's that you're readin'

to it."

I enjoyed Tim's lies so much that I always took a little trouble to start him. So I said, "Tim, before I tell you this story, suppose you take a sip out of my little brown jug."

I handed it to him, and he took an overgrown drink, reviving immediately, with the remark:

"That's the puckerinest stuff I ever took-and sarchin'. Hits too old to stay in this world."

While he was lighting his pipe, I handed him the book I was reading, containing the picture and the story it illustrated.

"Thet's a purty picter, Colonel, but I don't ketch the specifications uv it. Does the fellow with the long stockings, down on his prayer jints, want the feller in his sleepin' shirt to git in him?"

"No, Tim. That is a priest listening to the fool's confession."

Does them kind uv preachers go 'round that away in day time? 'Pears like to me the women 'round yere 'ud rock him if they cotched the Circuit Rider that away any time in big light. They powerful 'pinionated 'bout some things-the women is."

The long legs of Tim Price came over the fence first; the barrel of his rifle was almost up to them; his dog Spider was an accompaniment to the balance of his body, and in shagginess comparable to the rest of him; in his hand swung a crow by a string. I knew that Tim had a lie to tell by the unbusiness-like manner he chucked his leg over the fence. All the rest of Tim Price was business-like in lietelling excepting his legs; they at all "I'll tell you about it, Tim. Once-" times went back on his sobriety and "I'll be pintedly obleeged to you. My truthfulness. After mixing themselves readin' works is spiled. I've seed squrls with the planks of the footwalk, and put ther heads under 'em, an' set on 'em, slight entanglement with mat and door- to keep me frum seein' ther eyes, but Í scraper, they extended themselves, as the haint seed readin' many times sence I majority of Tim Price, on the floor of my felled down a well I wuz diggin' fer Ike little porch, the magnificent lying part of Jeemes, forty-three feet nine inches, head him resting against its post, his face and fust on a rock that wuz agin the bottom hair approaching the shagginess and rud- When I climbed out agin, hit 'peared diness of the unbarked red cedar up-like from bein' powerful good at readin', right. I couldn't see printens uv no kind; an'

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