DESCRIPTION OF A CITY-SHOWER.
In Imitation of Virgil's Georgics.
Careful observers may foretell the hour,
by sure prognostics, when to dread a shower.
While rain depends, the pensive cat gives o'er
her frolicks, and pursues her tail no more.
Returning home at night, you'll find the sink
strike your offending sense with double stink.
If you be wise, then go not far to dine;
you'll spend in coach-hire more than save in wine.
A coming shower your shooting corns presage,
old aches will throb, your hollow tooth will rage.
Sauntering in coffee-house is Dulman seen;
he damns the climate, and complains of spleen.
Mean while the south, rising with dabbled wings,
a sable cloud athwart the welkin flings,
that swill'd more liquor than it could contain,
and, like a drunkard, gives it up again.
Brisk Susan whips her linen from the rope,
while the first drizzling shower is borne aslope :
such is that sprinkling which some careless quean
flirts on you from her mop, but not so clean :
you fly, invoke the gods; then turning, stop
to rail; she, singing, still whirls on her mop.
Nor yet the dust had shunn'd th' unequal strife,
but, aided by the wind, fought still for life;
and, wafted with it's foe, by violent gust,
It was doubtful which was rain, and which was dust.
Ah! where must needy poet seek for aid,
when dust and rain at once his coat invade?
Sole coat! where dust cemented by the rain
erects the nap, and leaves a cloudy stain!
Now in contiguous drops the flood comes down, threatening with deluge this devoted town. To shops in crowds the daggled females fly, pretend to cheapen goods, but nothing buy. The templar spruce, while every spout's abroach, stays till 't is fair, yet seems to call a coach. The tuck'd-up semstress walks with hasty strides, while streams run down her oil'd umbrella's side. Here various kinds, by various fortunes led, commence acquaintance underneath a shed. Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs. Box'd in a chair, the beau impatient sits, while spouts run clattering o'er the roof by fits, and ever and anon, with frightful din,
the leather sounds; he trembles from within.
So when Troy chairman bore the wooden steed,
pregnant with Greeks impatient to be freed,
(those bully Greeks, who, as the moderns do,
instead of paying chairmen, ran them through,)
Laocoon struck the outside with his spear,
and each imprison'd hero quak'd for fear.
Now from all parts the swelling kennels flow, and bear their trophies with them as they go filths of all hues and odours seem to tell
what street they sail'd from by their sight and smell. They, as each torrent drives, with rapid force, from Smithfield or St. 'Pulchre's shape their course, and in huge confluence join'd at Snowhill ridge, and from the conduit prone to Holborn bridge. Sweepings from butchers' stalls, dung, guts, and blood, drown'd puppies, stinking sprats, all drench'd in mud, dead cats, and turnip-tops, come tumbling down the flood.
HORACE, BOOK II. SAT. VI.
I've often wish'd that I had clear,
for life, six hundred pounds a-year,
a handsome house to lodge a friend,
a river at my garden's end,
a terrace walk, and half a rood
of land set out to plant a wood.
Well, now I have all this and more,
I ask not to increase my store;
but here a grievance seems to lie,
all this is, mine but till I die;
I can't but think 't would sound more clever, to me and to my heirs for ever.
If I ne'er got or lost a groat,
by any trick, or any fault; and if I pray by reason's rules,
and not like forty other fools:
as thus, "Vouchsafe, oh gracious Maker! to grant me this and t'other acre;
or, if it be thy will and pleasure,
direct my plough to find a treasure!"<
but only what my station fits.
and to be kept in my right wits,
preserve, Almighty Providence!
just what you gave me, competence:
and let me in these shades compose
something in verse as true as prose;
remov'd from all th' ambitious scene,
nor puff'd by pride, nor sunk by spleen.'
In short, I'm perfectly content,
let me but live on this side Trent;
nor cross the Channel twice a year,
to spend six months with statesmen here.
I must by all ineans come to town,
't is for the service of the Crown.
"Lewis, the Dean, will be of use;
send for him up, take no excuse."
The toil, the danger of the seas,
great ministers ne'er think of these;
or let it cost five hundred pound,
no matter where the money's found,
it is but so much more in debt,
and that they ne'er consider'd yet.
"Good Mr. Dean, go change your gown, my Lord know you're come to town." I hurry me in haste away,
not thinking it is levee-day;
and find his honour in a pound,
hemm'd by a triple circle round,
chequer'd with ribbons blue and green:
how should I thrust myself between?
Some wag observes me thus perplex'd,
and, smiling, whispers to the next,
"I thought the Dean had been too proud,
to justle here among the crowd!”
another, in a surly fit,
tells me I have more zeal than wit,
66 so eager to express your love,
you ne'er consider whom you shove,
but rudely press before a duke.".
I own, I'm pleas'd with this rebuke,
and take it kindly meant, to show
what I desire the world should know.
I get a whisper, and withdraw;
when twenty fools I never saw
come with petitions fairly penn'd,
desiring I would stand their friend.
This humbly offers me his case →
that begs my interest for a place
a hundred other men's affairs,
like bees, are humming in my ears.
"To morrow my appeal comes on;
without your help the cause is gone-
the duke expects my lord and you,
about some great affair, at two
"Put my Lord Bolingbroke in mind,
to get my warrant quickly sign'd:
consider, 't is my first request."
Be satisfy'd, I'll do my best.
Then presently he falls to teaże,
you may for certain, if you please:
I doubt not, if his lordship knew
and, Mr. Dean, one word from you”
'Tis (let me see) three years and more,
(October next it will be four)
since Harley bid me first attend,
and chose me for a humble friend;
would take me in his coach to chat,
and question me of this and that;
as, "what's o'clock ?" and, "how's the wind?" "Whose chariot's that we left behind?"
Or gravely try to read the lines
writ underneath the country signs;
or, "have you nothing new-to day
"from Pope, from Parnell, or from Gay?"
Such tattle often entertains
my Lord and me as far as Staines,
as once a week we travel down
to Windsor, and again to town,
where all that passes inter nos
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