FLIRTING. Thus twilight tells of death. O, learn Wesleyan University, Sept., 1843. 235 [Written for the Young Lady's Friend.] BY MRS. HELEN C. C. KNIGHT. "Is he not splendid-Grant Thorn? Such manners! So handsome!" "The most elegant man in town, decidedly; and then he compliments so delightfully! I declare he has made Mary Lee think herself handsome, in spite of her mirror,” was the sympathizing reply of an interesting young female to her companion. 'O, yes! and did you see him at the Millers? All the time he was so gravely talking to old Mrs. Miller, he was secretly laughing at her. I was so amused with the comic gravity of his expressions and the lady laughed heartily. "The beaux are really jealous of him, he is such a favorite of the ladies-just to see James Hastings treat him with such marked dislike! Why he won't let his sister have a word to say to him." 66 Well, I do not suppose he would let his sister marry Grant Thorn, but he does so well to flirt with!" "Yes, just the person to flirt with. No woman in her senses would ever think of marrying a man of his character." I learned from this conversation two distinct classes of opinions entertained by the visiting young ladies, regarding one Grant Thorn. They were of a somewhat opposite nature, implying characteristics and the want of characteristics, in the gentleman of a very different nature and tendency. He was evidently an object of no small degree of interest. Handsome he was allowed to be, of fascinating manners and address, and yet gentlemen with sisters avoided him, and even his warmest admirers would instantly dismiss the idea of intimate companionship. I was curious to inquire more about him, and oppor tunity soon gratified my wishes. What was my surprise, when I found that he concealed beneath this splendid exterior, habits of a most profligate and sensual character; and yet, not concealed, for they were generally known and often commented upon. Still he could go from scenes of riot and debauchery to the drawing-rooms of high and respected families, and receive the welcome smiles of ladies, distinguished for refinement, education and virtuous sensibility! What a ruinous influence do females exert when they admit to their society and bestow their attentions upon men of such a character; and yet there are a degree of moral blindness and a want of moral firmness among ladies upon this subject, which is both amazing and alarming. While flirting may denote a harmless and playful intercourse with gentlemen, it is too often the manifestation of principles, bordering on the extremest verge which a woman can go and be safe. It is not often ventured upon with the plain, honest and sincere, but with men who would not hesitate in return to trifle with the confidence and love of woman. It originates in a love of admiration, which becomes so wanton in its exercise, that any expedient will be resorted to, to secure its gratification. A lady must depart from that truthful dealing which should ever characterize her intercourse; sincerity is sacrificed and impartial judgments compromised, by the cravings of vanity on one side and the voice of flattery on the other. She lives in social excitements, unhealthy, nay even destructive to the finest adjustment of her moral and intellectual powers. With unsteady desires and low and unworthy aims, her highest energies become weakened from such perversion of their original destiny and high capabilities; at the same time, that clear and keen perception of right and wrong, which woman ought emphatically to possess, becomes blunted; and she discerns no rules so binding, as the artificial distinctions and the factitious morality, which fashion has made and imposed upon society. Let every woman fear there is something wrong in her moral principles, whenever she permits herself to yield to the seductive attentions of any one upon whose character is stamped the marks of profligacy—agreeable as he may be in general society, and possessing as he may, by chance, some amiable qualities; yet he is indulging habits, which must strike at the root of every generous impulse within his bosom, and destroy all which is pure and exalted in principle. Not only upon themselves, do women inflict severe injury, when they flirt thus, but do they know the extent of the vast moral evils which they perpetuate in society? They are evils, vices, which no legislation can affect, no regulations, however severe, can restrain. So cunning and dark is their nature, that they evade the precepts of morality as easily as the interference of civil law. It is only the clear, uncompromising, omnipotent authority of public opinion, among mothers, wives and sisters, which can enforce correct moral principle, with a majesty and a severity, which men shall not dare to tamper with or disregard. Not in the pulpit alone must a distinction be made among men; not in the theories of ethics and the truths of religion; but in a clear and broad outline by ladies in the drawing-room and at the fire-side. There let vice, in however agreeable garb, be forever and unhesitatingly excluded; and let none be admitted to the delightful sympathies of social and intellectual communion, but those who can exhibit that unsullied purity of character, which commands respect, while it seeks to please. Let no brilliancy of talent, or elegance of manner, pervert the judgment and dazzle the senses. Let it be considered no grand achievement, worthy of unusual decoration, to draw such into the train of a lady's admirers, if he be reckless or vicious in his principles. Let him know there can be no passport to her favor, like high, moral rectitude; without which, he must live apart from the refinements and delicacy of woman's friendship, or woman's love. There can she alone become the guardian of her sex. There will she live up to the high trusts of her sex. There alone does she exert an influence worthy of her sex. Fashionable vices will no longer be deemed fashionable, tolerated and perpetuated now, because public opinion winks at their exercise and connives at their allurements. Veiled beneath amiable names, they are freely spoken of, and intelligent and virtuous females are not shocked at imputations upon the lives of their associates, which, if keenly scrutinized as they should be, and private life laid bare to the clear vision of moral purity, they would shrink abashed from such companionship. She carefully excludes from her society, one of her own sex, who becomes in any degree reckless in her principles, and it is well. Were opinion less severe, society would be less secure. But she must also, no less faithfully, no less promptly, no less severely, exclude those of the other 238 A TOUCHING STORY. sex, thus guilty. Then would be placed those strong barriers round "well doing" which young men would find less facility and less inclination to trample down, while they would receive every encouragement which woman can give, to tread firmly and steadily the path of sectitude. Flirting in any degree should be carefully avoided by every female, who would preserve her own self-respect and the respect of all those whose high opinion is worth possessing. Let simplicity and sincerity grace her speech, while she regards good sense and correct judgment of infinitely more value than the elegant compliment or witty repartee. Who does not admire the dignified and simple elegance which characterizes the intercourse of Jeanie Deans with her friend Butler? And who would not prefer the tried and true affections of a heart like hers, regulated and elevated by the purest and sternest sense of rectitude and purity, to the seeming affections and unsteady aims of a woman used in the language of flirting? Portsmouth, N. H., Sept., 1843. A TOUCHING STORY. Richard Bennet, when mortally wounded, in one of Nelson's great battles, had requested that a miniature, and a lock of his hair, should be given by Lieut. P. to his sweetheart, Susette, in Scotland. The gallant Lieut. thus describes the interview:— It was at the close of day, when a bright July sun was on the point of setting, that I arrived at the very pretty cottage of Susette's mother. I tremulously stated who I was to the most respectable looking matron I ever saw, of French extraction. In broken and bitter accents of heartfelt grief, she told me that her daughter's death was daily looked for, and requested time to prepare her to see me. At last Susette expressed a wish to see the friend of Richard Bennet; and I was admitted to the fairest daughter of Eve that ever found this world unequal to her tender blossoms. She was propped up with pillows, near the open lattice of her bed-room, which was clustered with roses. Her white dress, and the drappery of the room accorded with the angelic vision, who now turned her lustrous orbs on me, veiled in long fringed eyelids. She held out her transparent hand, and gently pressed mine, as I knelt to kiss it; and as she felt my tears drop on it, softly murmured, "I wish I could weep. How it would relieve my poor heart." She gasped for breath, and respired with great difficulty. "The lock of hair-quickly, while I can see it," said she. She caught at it, wildly pressed it to her lips and heart, and fell back. Her mother and I thought she had fainted; but the pure and innocent soul had returned to God who gave it.-Nelsonian Reminiscences. |