Dejected Traveller. "I SAY, PAT, DID YOU EVER MAKE AN IDIOT OF YOURSELF ABOUT A WOMAN?" THE GREAT CHESS MATCH. IMPRESSIONS. [Specially con'ributed to "Punch" by Sir Kennedy Bart.] I. As the men sat down there was silence. The moment had come. Fronting them lay the issue. And an issue vastly broader and deeper moved his king's pawn. moved his king's pawn also. III. But JONES And another. Surely this man has always been losing pawns. Go on! Go on! A bishop! JONES has lost a bishop. The two pawns were fronting each other. And fronting them lay the issue. An issue vastly deeper and broader than a personal issue. The checking of- See Section I. But JONES moved his queen also. than a personal issue. The checking He moved his king's pawn, and now of whose king was a thing of itself he moved his queen. As he moved incidental. The supreme fact was his queen the watchers held their that here were two men who were breath. On and on he moved it. to express the instinct of combat. Another square and he would be off Of rivalry. The terrible primeval the board." instinct of aggression. No, he has stopped. Those who Which has made England what were watching were now breathing freely and easily. He has stopped it is. Rule Britannia. II. in front of the castle. The queen in front of her castle! IV. The board is set. The players eyed each other curiously. SMITHI was an Anglo-Saxon; spectacled, The fourth hour. He has lost his reserved. A man, you would say, of queen. SMITH has lost his queen. deep reserve. JONES was a Latin- But he leads. For he has taken two looking man; quiet, cautious. A pawns. And they are at it glorithinker. For a while they were ously again. silent, considering, doing nothing. Again! Oh, the indomitable inAnd SMITH's hand shot out, and he stinct. JONES has lost another pawn. No, it is only another pawn. V. And things went on, and here was the eighth hour. [And the last section. ED.] JONES is done, but he fights on. He has lost another pawn, but he fights on. Good old Englishman. He has a Latin-like face, but he is an Englishman. And he does not know when he is beaten. And he is beaten. Beaten! But what of that? No man is really beaten who fights to the end. His defeat is a fine sacrifice offered up to the glorious god of combat. The instinct of fight. The men of England must never forget that they owe everything to the instinct of fight. JONES is beaten, but he is still an Englishman.. So is SMITH. Rule Britannia. Loader. "No, SIR. NOR ME EITHER!" In and out And round about They swung and swayed As the music played. You could fancy you heard the stormy sea, And soon, as the merry notes were jigging, They gripped the ropes with their sturdy knees, Of the ropes they hauled and the leads they heaved, Of this trippety-rippety sailor-pair As they twinkled through with their hornpipe there. Till at last, when I thought they must have dropped, With a rapturous final stamp they stopped. R. C. L. overlook the little difference of 1776 PHANTOMS TO LET. and to pay a round of country-house HAUNTED houses (says the Daily visits during the festive season. The Mirror of December 5) are in great Royal terms would be probably high, demand just now, especially with and considerable tact would be reAmericans, who have a taste for the quired to bring the affair to a historical variety of ghost, and will business-like footing; but if due conpay any price demanded for a resi- sideration be shown by her American dence frequented by the shade of QUEEN ELIZABETH. Some provision could doubtless be made for exchange of incumbencies, as many apparitions must be tired of haunting the same spot and would be glad of a change of scene. The Berkeley Square ghost, for instance, would appreciate a trip to Glamis, and vice versa. Eventually, a circulating scheme could be evolved, or spectres taken in en pension by the week. We quit this fascinating subject with regret, but hope enough has been indicated for the assistance of Yankee phantom-hunters. ZIGZAG. hosts and no "clash dates" booked with MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS we have We do not know whether her late reason to think that a short and sucMajesty is capable of emulating cessful series of stimulating Tudor BOYLE ROCHE'S bird and simul- week-ends might be arranged. taneously enlivening various de- This would seem to be a feature of mesnes in different parts of the house-letting agency which is capable country; nor, bearing in mind her of great development. At present a well-known and imperious temper, satisfactory and accurate register of could we guarantee that she would ghosts is sadly lacking. A County condescend to oblige the descend- Directory should be forthwith comants of her Virginian planters. piled. It might take the form of a We have, in fact, no influence what-Who's Who of of leading spooks, ever in that quarter ourselves, and such as ANNE BOLEYN of Hampton are not at all sure of her present Court, OLD JEFFREY of Epworth, and address. The only hope would other celebrities. The rather confusappear to be that some reliable firm ing number of Grey Ladies would that understands these delicate nego- thus be differentiated. Telepathic This is the cheery British spirit tiations should take the matter in addresses and recreations should in which never knows when it is hand, and persuade her Majesty to all cases be given where possible. beaten. Unrest in India. "I am quite satisfied with the wedding-ring and will in future always deal with your firm. From an Allahabad jeweller's catalogue. "The flames were under control an hour after the call to the brigade. They had comOlympia lay in |