reverence of God."—"I see a great work before me now, namely, the subduing and mortifying of my perverted will. What am I that I should dure to do my own will, even if I were not a sinner; but now how plain, how reasonable to have the love of Christ constraining me to be his faithful willing servant, cheerfully taking up the cross he shall appoint me.' "Read some of Amos.

The

reading of the Prophets is to me one of the most delightful employments. One cannot but be charmed with the beauty of the imagery, while they never fail to inspire me with awful thoughts of God and of his hatred of sin. The reading of Baxter's Saint's Rest, determined me to live more in heavenly meditation.”—“Walked by moonlight, and found it a sweet relief to my mind to think of God and consider my ways before him. I was strongly impressed with the vanity of the world, and could not help wondering at the imperceptible operation of grace, which had enabled me to resign the expectation of happiness from it."-"How frequently has my heart been refreshed, by the descriptions in the Scriptures of the future glory of the Church, and the happiness of man hereafter.""I felt the force of Baxter's observation, that if an angel had appointed to meet me, I should be full of awe; how much more when I am about to meet God."

of

"Ah! what a heart is mine! The indistinctness

my view of its desperate wickedness is terrible to me, that is, when I am capable of feeling any terror. But now my soul! rise from earth and hell,-shall Satan lead me captive at his will, when Christ ever liveth to make intercession for the vilest worm? O thou! whose I am by creation, preservation, redemption, no longer my own, but, his who lived and died and rose again, once more would I resign this body and soul, mean and worthless as they are, to the blessed disposal of thy holy will! May I have a heart to love God and his people, the flesh being crucified! May grace abound, where sin has abounded much! May I cheerfully and joyfully resign my ease and life in the service of Jesus, to whom I owe so much! May it be sweet to me to proclaim to sinners like myself, the blessed efficacy of my Saviour's blood! May he make me faithful unto death! The greatest enemy I dread is the pride of my own heart. Through pride reigning, I should forget to know a broken spirit: then would come on unbelief, weakness, apostacy."

"Let then," he wrote to a friend, " no obstacle intervene, to prevent the increase of my self-knowledge, in which I am lamentably deficient. Let us both bend our minds to the discipline necessary to obtain it, and communicate our discoveries for our

6

mutual benefit. How strongly is the importance of self-knowledge, and the difficulty of obtaining it, marked by these words; Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.' And to those who cannot keep their hearts for want of knowing any thing about them, very compassionate are the words of our Lord; Because thou knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked, I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eye salve, that thou mayest see. You put me in mind, in your last letter, of former days. What fruit had we then in those things, whereof we are now ashamed? But those days have passed away for ever. And when glory shall open upon our view, neither sorrow nor sin, shall again interrupt our joys for ever. will echo your words, and • What manner of love is this, that we should be called the sons of God!' We may look upon one another, and remember our former selves, and say, What hath God wrought!' Not by works of righteousness which thou hast done, but according to his mercy he saved thee.' Now then, my dear brother, let all the rest of our life be cheerfully devoted to God. We are no longer our own, but are bought with a

say,

I

price-with what a price! Let us adore him also, that we are called in our youth; that while our hearts are susceptible of warm emotions, they are taught the glow of Divine affections. Let us glorify him on the earth, if many years are assigned us, and finish the work which he hath given us to do. And may we come to our graves in a full age, as a shock of corn cometh in his season."

CHAPTER III.

ལ་ས

MR. MARTYN was ordained to the ministry on the 22d of October, 1803. He complained to a friend that this occasion, so solemn in itself, through want of retirement, was not so to me."

He passed the time, which, by the rules of the English Episcopal church, is required before ministers can be admitted to the full exercise of the sacred office, as assistant to his friend, the Rev. Mr. Simeon, in his church at Cambridge, and as pastor in a small village at a short distance from the town. In this capacity he laboured constantly in preaching, and in making religious visits to the houses of the poor, and to hospitals.

he

After speaking of his preparations for the pulpit, says, "Another part of my stated ministrations, is to visit one part of Mr. Simeon's people every

week. Unless the mind be in a spiritual and heavenly frame, it is difficult to go through this service with any degree of satisfaction. However, though I have often gone to them cramped with sinful fear, I have been enabled to go through with ease and comfort, thanks be to God. I have been generally in great depression of spirits ever since my ordination; for, having at that time not a single sermon, my hands and head have been constantly employed in that business, while my heart has not had its due share of exercise. I am now recovering from my cowardly despondency on that head; but lately I have been in heaviness again, through the prevalence of self-will, and the prospect of incessant selfdenial. God help me to endure hardness, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus; to fight the good fight of faith; and to be a partaker of the afflictions of the Gospel, according to the power of God. My chief comfort is to meditate on the world to come, though it is a happiness which I can seldom steadily enjoy, the train of one's thoughts is so influenced and directed by the empty concerns of human life. Another evil with me is great childish levity, and want of serious conviction of the awful work of the ministry. In the pulpit I have hitherto been thinking only of the sermon before me, unconscious of the presence of God or the people. Deliver me from blood-guiltiness, O God!"