go in!

a

We must bave these things mended. Come, Clara. You're treacherous,

[Exit. And come to do me mischief. Enter Vitelli und Bobadilla.

Vit. Speak on still;

Your words are falser, fair, than my intents, Bob. With Lucio, say you? There he's for And each sweet accent far more treach'rous; Vit. And there's for thee.

[you. for Bob. I thank you. You have now bought Tho' you speak ill of me, you speak so well A little advice of me: if you chance

I do desire to hear you. To have conference with that lady there, Clara. Pray be gone; Be very civil, or look to your head !

Or, kill me if you please. She has ten nails, and you have but two eyes : Vit. Oh, neither can I: If any foolish hot motions should chance For, to be gone were to destroy my life; To rise in the horizon, under your equinoc- And to kill you were to destroy my soul. tial there,

I am in love, yet must not be in love! Qualify it as well as you can, for I fear

I'll get away apace. Yet, valiant lady, The elevation of your pole will not

Such gratitude to honour I do owe, Agree with the horoscope of her constitution: And such obedience to your memory, She is Bell and the Dragon, I assure you. That if you will bestow something, that I

[Erit. May wear about me, it shall bind my wrath, Vit. Are you the Lucio, sir, that sav'd Vi- My most invet'rate wrath, from all attempts, telli?

'Till you and I meet next. Lucio. Not I, indeed, sir; I did never Clara. A favour, sir? brabble;

Why, I'll give you good counsel. There walks that Lucio metamorphosed. Vit. That already

[Erit. You have bestow'd; a ribbon, or a gloveVit. D' you mock me?

Clara. Nay, those are tokens for a waitClara. No, he does not: I am that To trim the butler with.

(ing-maid Supposed Lucio that was, but Clara

Vit, Your featherThat is, and daugler unto Alvarez.

Clara. Fy! Vit. Amazement daunts me! 'Would my The wenches give them to the serving-men. life were riddles,

Vit. That little ring So you were still my fair expositor!

Clara. 'Twill hold you but by tlı' finger; Protected by a lady from my

death?

And I would have you faster. Oh, I shall wear an everlasting blush

Vit. Any thing Upon my cheek from this discovery!

That I may wear, and but remember you. Oh, you, the fairest soldier I e'er saw,

Clara. This smile; my good opinion; or Each of whose eyes, like a bright beamy But that, it seems, you like not. (myself! shield,

Vit. Yes; so well, Conquers without blows, the contentious When any smiles, I will remember yours;

Clara. Sir, guard yourself; you're in your Your good opinion shall in weight poize me And may be injur'd. (enemies house, Against a thousand ill; lastly, yourself, Vit. 'Tis impossible :

My curious eye now figures in my heart, Foe, nor oppressmg odds, dares prove Vitelli, Where I will wear you till the table break. If Clara side him, and will call him friend. So, whitest angels guard you! I would the diff'rence of our bloods were such Clara. Stay, sir; I As might with any shift be wip'd away! I have fitly thought to give, what you as fitly Or 'would to Heav'n yourself were all your May not disdain to wear. name;

Vit. What's that? That, having lost blood by you, I might hope Clura. This sword. To raise blood from you! But my black- I never heard a man speak till this hour: wing'd fate

His words are golden chains, and now I fear Hovers aversely over that fond hope; The lioness hath met a tamer here: (ing? And he whose tongue thus gratifies the Fy, how his tongue chimes ! -What was I saydaughter"?

Oh, this favour í bequeath you, which I tie And sister of his enemy, wears a sword In a love-knot, fast, ne'er to hurt my friends; To rip the father and the brother up: (mine, Yet be it fortunate 'gainst all your foes Thus you, that sav'd this wretched life of (For I have neither friend, nor foe, but yours) Have sav'd it to the ruin of your friends. As e'er it was to me! I've kept it long, That my affcctions should promiscuously And value it, next my virginity. Dart love and hate at once, both worthily! But; good, return it; for I now remember Pray let me kiss your hand!

I vow'd, who purchas'd it should have me too. "? Thus gratifies the daughter.] This gratifies seems to come in oddly; for what gratification does Vitelli make Clara here? He gives her good words, 'tis true, and sets off the service she had done him at her first appearance on the stage; but this ought rather to be called a panegyrick, than a gratification, and who knows but the authors might have given it thus glorifies the daughter. Sympson.

Vit.

Vit. 'Would tliat were possible; but, alas, My former nature? I begin to find 'tis not:

I am a woman, and must learn to fight Yet this assure yourself, most-honour'd Clara, A softer sweeter battle than with swords. I'll not infringe an article of breath

I'm sick methinks; but the disease I feel My vow hath offer'd tyou; nor from this Pleaseth, and punisheth. I warrant, love part

Is very like this, that folks talk of so; Whilst it hath edge, or point, or I a heart. I skill not what it is, yet sure e'en here,

Exit. E'en in my heart, I sensibly perceive Clara. Oh, leave me living !-What new It glows, and riseth like a glimmering flame, exercise

But know not yet the essence on't, nor name. Is crept into my breast, that blancheth clean

[Exit.

a

ACT III.

angry!

SCENE I.

Has he not well provided for the bairn?
Enter Malroda and Alguazier.

Beside, what profit reap I by the other?
If
you

will have me serve your pleasure, lady, Mulr. HE must noti nor he shall not? Your pleasure must accommodate my service; who shall let him?

[dom!

As good be virtuous and poor, as not You, politick Diego, with your face of wis- Thrive by my kpav'ry; all the world would be Don Blirt! The pox upon your aphorisms, Good, prosper'd goodness like to villainy. Your grave and sage-ale physiognomy! I am the king's vicegerent by my place; Do not I know thee for the Alguazier, His right lieutenant in mine own precinct. Whose dunghill all the parish scavengers Malr. Thou'rt a right rascal in all men's Could never rid? Thou comedy to men, preciocts! Whose serious folly is a butt for all (wit, Yet now, my pair of twins, of fool and knave, To shoot their wits at; whilst thou hast not Look, we are friends; there's gold for thee : Nor heart, to answer, or be

admit Alg. Lady!

supported by Whom I will have, and keep it from my don, Mulr. Peace, peace, you rotten rogue,

And I will make thee richer than thou’rt A staff of rotener office! Dare you check wise: Any's accesses that I will allow

Thou shalt be my bawd, and my officer; Piorato is my friend, and visits me

Thy children shall eat still, my good nightIn lawful sort, t'espouse me as his wife; owl, And who will cross, or shall, our interviews? And thy old wife sell andirons to the court, You know me, sirrah, for no chambermaid, Be countenanc'd by the dons, and wear a That cast her belly and her wastecoat lately. hood,

(mother, Thou think'st thy constableship is inuch! Nay, keep my garden-house; I'll call her not so ;

Thee father, my good poisonous red-hair'd I am ten offices to thee: ay, thy house, And gold shall daily be thy sacrifice, [deel, Thy house and office is maintain'd by me. Wrought from a fertile island of mine own,

Alg. My house-of-office is maintain'd i'th' Which I will offer, like an Indian queen. garden!

Alg. And I will be thy devil, thou my Go to! I know you; and I have contriv'd With which I'll catch the world. [fleshi

, (You're a delinquent), but I have contriv'd Malr. Fill some tobacco, A poison, tho' not in the third degree: And bring it in. If Piorato come I can say, black's your eye, though it be grey; Before my don, admit him; if my don I have conniv'd at this your friend, and you; Before my love, conduct him, my dear deBut what is got by this connivency?

vil!

[Erit. I like his feature well's; a proper man, Alg. I will, my dear flesh.-First come, Of good discoursc, fine conversation,

first serv'd : well said !Valiant, and a great carrier of the business, Oh, equal Heav'n, how wisely thou disposest Sweet-breastedi9 as the nightingale or thrush: Thy several gifts! One's born a great rich Yet I must tell you, you forget yourself;

fool, My lord Vitelli's love, and maintenance, For the subordinate knave to work upon; Deserves no other Jack i'th' box, but he. Another's poor,

with wit's addition,
What tho' he gather'd first the golden fruit, Which well or ill us'd, builds a living up,
And blew your pigs-coat up into a blister, And that too from the sire oft descends;
When you did wait at court upon his mother; | Only fair Virtue, by traduction

18 I like his feather well.] Amended in 1750.
19 Sweet breasted.] See note 28, on the Pilgrimn.

Never

a

I am.

Never sucrceds20, and seldom meets success: Bob. A receipt for a coward ! I'll be bold,
What have I then to do with't? My free will, To write your good prescription. (sir,
Left me by Heaven, makes ine or good or ill. Pio. Sir, hereafter
Now since vice gets morc in this vicious world You shall, and underneath it put probatum.-.
Than piety, and

my
star's confluence

Is your chain right?
Enforce my disposition to affect stise Bob. It is both right and just, sir;
Gain, and the name of rich, let who will praco For, tho’I am a steward, I did get it
War, and grow that way great; religious,

With no man's wrong,
And that way good! My chief felicity

Pio. You are witty. Is wealth, the nurse of sensuality;

Bob. So, so.

(rash, And he that mainly labours to bc rich, Could you not cure one, sir, of being too Must scratch great scabs, and claw a strum- And over-daring? (there now's my disease) pet's itch.

[Erit. Fool-hardy, as they say? for that in sooth SCENE II.

Pio. Most easily.
Enter Piorato and Bobadilla.

Bob. How?
Pio. To say, sir, I will wait upon your Pio. To make you drunk, sir, [twice,
Were not to understand myself. [lord, With small beer once a day, and beat you
Bob. To say, sir,

'Till you be bruis'd all over; if that help not, You will do any thing but wait upon him, Knock out your

brains. Were not to understand my lord.

Bob. This is strong physick, signor, Pio. I'll meet him

(to render

And never will agree with my weak body: Soine half-hour hence, and doubt not but I find the med'cine worse than the malady, His son a man again: the cure is easy; And therefore will remain fool-hardy still. I have done divers.

You'll come, sir?
Bob. Women do you mean, sir? (spark Pio. As I am a gentleman.

[his word. Pio. Cures I do mean. Be there but one Bob. A man o'th' sword should never break Of fire remaining in him unextinct,

Pio. I'll overtake you: I have only, sir, With my discourse I'll blow it to a flame, A complimental visitation And with my practice into action.

To offer to a mistress lodg'd here by.
I have had one so full of childish fear,

Bob. A gentlewoman?
And womanish-hearted, sent to my advice, Pio. Yes, sir.
He durst not draw a knife to cut his meat. Bob. Fair, and comely?

Bob. And how, sir, did you help himn? Pio. Oh, sir, the paragon, the nonpareil
Pio, Sir, I kept him

Of Sevil, the niost wealthy mine of Spain, Seven days in a dark room hy candle-light, For beauty and perfection. A plenteous table spread, with allgood meats, Bob. Say you so? Before his eyes, a case of keen broad knives Might not a man entreat a courtesy, Upon the board, and he so watch'd he might To walk along with you, signor, to peruse not

This dainty mine, tho' not to dig in't, signor? Touch the least modicum, unless he cut it: Hauh-I hope you'll not deny me, being a And thus I brought him first to draw a knife.

stranger; Bob. Good!

Tho' I'm a steward, I am flesh and blood,
Pio. Then for ten days did I diet him And frail as other men.
Only with burnt pork, sir, and gammons of Pio. Sir, blow your nose!
A pill of caviare now and then, [bacon; I dare not, for the world: no; she is kept
Which breeds choler adust, you know--

By a great don, Vitelli.
Bob. 'Tis true. (and cold cruditics, Bob. How !
Pio. And to purge phlegmatick humour, Pio. 'Tis true.

[Vitelli In all that time he drank me aqua-fortis, Bob. See, things will veer about! This don And nothing else but

Am I to seek now, to deliver letters [you, Bob. Aqua-vita, signor;

From my young mistress Clara ; and, I tell For aqua-fortis poisons.

Under the rose (because you are a stranger, Pio. Aqua-fortis,

And my especial friend), I doubt there is I say again: What's one man's poison, signor, A little foolish love betwixt the parties, Is another's meat or drink,

Unknown unto my lord. Bob. Your patience, sir ! stomach. Pio. Happy discovery! By your good patience, h' had a huge cold My fruit begins to ripen.—Hark you, sir ! Pio. I fired it, and gave him then three I would not wish you now to give those letsweats

ters; In the Artillery-Yard, three drilling days; But home, and ope this to madonna Clara, And now he'll shoot a gun, and draw a sword, Which when I come I'll justify, and relate And fight, with any man in Christendom. More amply and particularly. 20 Vezer succeeds.] i.e. Never follows by succession. ,

Bob.

а

2

Bob. I approve

(manos!

Enter Malroda. Your counsel, and will practise it. Bazi los

Malr. Oh, Here's two chewres, chewr’d?!! When Wis

iny

sweet! dom is employ'd,

[signor! Leap hearts to lips, and in our kisses meer! *Tis ever thus.-Your more acquaintance,

SONG,
I say not better, lest you think I thought not
Yours good enough.

[Erit.

Pio. Turn, turn, thy beauteous face away, Enter Alguazier.

Ilow pale and sickly looks the day,

In emulation of thy brighter beans! Pio. Your servant, excellent steward!

Oh, envious light, fly, fly, begone, 'Would all the dons in Spain had no more

Coine, night, and picce two breasts as brains!

[monsieur!
one;

[dreams. Here comes the Alguazier: Dieu tous guarde, When what love does, we will repeat in Is my cuz stirring yet?

Yet, thy eyes open, whu can day hence Alg. Your cuz, good cousin?

fright?

(night! A whore is like a fool, a-kin to all [signor,

Let but their lids fall, and it will be The gallants in the town. Your cuz, good Is gone abroad, sir, witli her other cousin, Alg. Well, I will leave

you to your

fortiMy lord Vitelli; since when there hath been tude, Some dozen cousins here to enquire for her. And you to temperance. Ah, ye pretty pair! Pio. She's greatly allied, sir.

'Twere sin to sunder you. Lovers being alone Alg. Marry is she, sir;

Make one of two, and day and night all one. Come of a lusty kindred! The truth is, But fall not out, I charge you, keep the I must connive no more; no more admittance

peace; Must I consent to my good lord has You know my place else.

[Exit. threaten'd me,

Malr. No, you will not marry; And you must pardon

You are a courtier, and can sing, my love, Pio. Out upon thee, man! [grave? And want no mistresses; but yet I care not. Turn honest in thine age? one foot i th' I'll love you still, and when I'm dead for you, Thou shalt not wrong thyself so for a mil- Then you'll believe my truth. lion.

Pio. You kill me, fair ! Look, thou three-headed Cerberus (for wit It is my lesson that you speak. Have I I mean), bere is one sop, and two, and three; In any circumstance deserv'd this doubt? For ev'ry chap a bit!

I am not like your false and perjur'd don, Alg. Ay, marry, sir!

That here maintains you, and has vow'd liis Well, the poor heart loves you but too well.

And yet attempts in way of marriage (faith; We have been talking on you,'faith, this hour, A lady not far off. Where, what I said-Go to ! she loves your Malr. Ilow's that? valour;

Pio. 'Tis so; Oh, and your musick most abominably! And therefore, mistress, now the time is come She is within, sir, and alone.- What mean You may demand his promise; and I swear you?

[Piorato changes sides. To marry you with speed. Pio. That is your sergeant's side, I take Mulr. And with that gold it, sir;

Which don Vitelli gives, you'll walk some Now I endure your constable's much better: voyage?, There is less danger in't; for one, you know, And leave me to my trade; and laugh, and Is a tame harmless monster in the light, bray,

[lord. The sergeant, salvage both by day and night. How you o'er-reachd a whore, and gulld a Alg. I will call her to you for that.

Pio. You anger me extremely! Fare you Pio. No, I'll

well!

me Charm her.

What should I say to be believ'd Expose Alg. She's come.

To any hazard; or, like jealous Juno, Pio. My spirit!

Th' incensed step-mother of Hercules, 21 Here's two chewres chewr'd.] That is, Here are two businesses dispatched. Chewre be a South Country word for business; but in the North we should say,

Here's two chares char'd. So in Noble Kinsmen we have the same word, act iii. scene 2. the Gaoler's Daughter, speaking of Palamon, says,

Ali's char'd when he is gone. No, no, I lie,

My father's to be hang'd for his escape, &c. Sympson. 22 Walk some toyage.) Voyage is now improperly applied only to journies at sea; but it properly signifies a journey either by land or sea, as the French use the word voyage. The word journey is derived from jour, the day; voyage is from voye, via, the way; and here is used in its proper signification, Sevcard.

Design

22

may

23

Design me labours most impossible?},

Enter Malroda and Piorato.
I'll do 'em, or die in 'em; so at last
You will believe me.

Malr. 'Tis he; do as I told thee; bless
Malr. Come; we're friends; I do!

thee, signor!I'm thine; walk in. My lord has sent me Oh, my dear lord. outsides,

(sad. Vit. Malroda? what, alone? (panied But thou shalt have 'em; the colours are too Malr. She never is alone, that is accom

Pio. 'Faith, mistress, I want cloaths in- With noble thoughts, my lord; and inine are
Malr. I have

[deed.

Being only of your lordship. (such, Soine gold too, for my servant.

Vit. Pretty lass! [done; but faith, Pio. And I have

Malr. Oh, my good lord, my picture's
A better metal for my mistress. (Exeunt. It is not like. Nay, this way, sir! the light

Strikes best upon it here.
SCENE III.
Pio. Excellent wench!

[Erit. Enter Vitelli and Alguasier, at several doors.

Alg. I am glad the danger's o'er. [Erit.

Vit. 'Tis wondrous like,
Alg. Undone!-Wit, now or never help But that Art cannot counterfeit what Nature
me!--My master?

Could make but once.
He'll cut my throat !- I'm a dead constable! Malr. All's clear; another tune
And he'll not be hang'd neither; there's the You must hear from me now.-Vitelli, thou’rt
grief.-

A most perfidious and a perjur'd man,
The party, sir, is here

As ever did usurp nobility ! Vii. What?

Vit. What mean'st thou, Mal? Alg. He was here

shim; Malr. Leave your betraying smiles, (I cry your lordship mercy!) but I rattled And change the tunes of your enticing tongue I told frim here were no companions

To penitential prayers; for I am great For such debauch'd, and poor-condition’d fel- In labour, e'en with anger, big with-child lows;

Of woman's rage24, bigger than when my I bid him venture not so desp'rately

womb The cropping of his ears, slitting his nose, Was pregnant by thee! Go, seducer, fly Or being gelt

Out of the world, let me the last wretch be Vit. 'Twas well done.

Dishonour'd by thee! Touch me not: I loath
Alg. Please your honour,

My very heart, because thou lay’st there long.
I told him there were stews; and then at last A woman's well help'd up, that's confident
Swore three or four great oaths she was re- In e'er a glittering outside of you
mov'd,

'Would I had honestly been match'd to some Which I did think I might, in conscience, Poor country swain, ere known the vanity Being for your lordship.

Of court! peace then had been my portion, Vit. What became of him?

Nor had been cozen’d by an hour's pomp, Alg. Faith, sir, he went away with a flea To be a whore unto my dying day!

Vit. Oh, th' uncomfortable ways such woLike a poor cur, clapping his trundle tail men have25!

(surance Betwixt his legs.— A chi ha, a chi ha, a chi Their different speech and meaning, no asha!-Now, luck!

In what they say or do: dissernblers 23 Labours most impossible.] This place, at first sight, appears to be a contradiction; for if the labours were impossible, they could not be done either by Piorato or Hercules. Alost, I take it here, should be wrote thus:

-Labours 'most impossible, i.e. almost. The using of a simple for a compound word, is frequent in our poets; and we have it again in this very play, act v. scene 2.

being by your beams of beauty form’d, i.e. inform’d. Sympson. This is refinement. The labours of Hercules were enjoined as supposed impossibilities. Almost impossible, is a poor phrase indeed. Poetry is not logick or mathematicks.

for I am great In labour, een with unger, big with child

Of woman's rage. -] Here we have a strange anticlimax, she is in labour with anger, and yet only big with child of rage. The editor possibly might be the author of this inconsistency, who seeing the line wrote

E'en with anger big with child, &c. thought that the measure was deficient, and so might out of his own head give us in labour, to make up the deficiency: but he did not see the inconsistency of this addition, which makes the place nonsense. Sympson.

25 Oh, th' uncomfortable ways such women have.] Seward thinks uncomfortable a corruption, and that we should read unstable.

E'en

all!

in's ear,

24