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leau gaine

think out,

Old father-i-law that shall be?? Do you Olde. A pestilence mazard! a duke Hum, think

phrey spark, I'll have any of the wits hang upon me after H'had rather lose his dinner than his jest!-I am married once?


I love a wit the best of all things.
None of my kindred ever had before me. Cunn. Always except yourself.
But where's this niece? Is it a fashion (her? Olde. H'has giv’n’t me twice now
In London to marry a woman, and never see
Olde. Excuse the niceness, sir! that care's

Enter Niece and Guardianess. your friend;

(seen her:

All with a breath, I thank him! But that I Perhaps, had she been seen, you had never love a wit, There's w.any a spent thing, call’d An't like

I should be heartily angry: Cuds, my niece! your honour,

[a countess, You know the business with her? That lies in wait for her: at first snap she's Cunn. With a woman? Drawn with six mares thro’ Fleet-street, and 'Tis er’n the very same it was, I'm sure, a coachman

stocks. Five thousand years ago, no fool can miss it. Sitting bareheaded to their Flanders but- Olde. This is the gentleman I promis’d, This whets him on.

present to your affection.

[niece, Greg. Pray let's clap up the business, sir! Cunn. Ware that arrow!

Liking. I long to see her. Are yo sure you hive her? Olde. Deliver me the truth now of your Is she not there already? Ilarki, bark, oh, Cann. I'm spoil'd already; that such poor

hark !
Oldc. Ilow now? what's that, sir?

Should be found out as I am!
Greg. Every carochyoes by,

Oldc. Go, set to her, sir.-Ha, ha, ha! Goes ev'n to th' heart of me.

Cunn. Hlow noble is this virtue in you, lady! Oldr. I'll have that doubt eas'd, sir, Your eye may seem to cominit a thousand Instantly eas'd, sir Gregory: and, now I slaughters


On your dull servants, which truly tasted A toy comes i' my mind, seeing your friend Conclude all in comforts. We'll bave a little sport, give you


way Olde. Pho! to't,

[ciously! Niece. It rather shews And put a trick upon her; I love wit pre- What a true worth can make, such as yours is. You shall not be seen yet; we'll stalc your Olde. And that's not worth a groat. -llow friend first,


like you bim, niece? If't please but biin to stand for th' anti

Niece. It shall appear how well, sir: I Greg. Pho, be shall stand for any thing humbly thank you for bim. (well, i'faith. (why his supper


Oldc. lla, ha! good gullery! he does it Lies i' my breeches here); I'll make him fast

Slight, as if he meani to purchase Lip-land Olic. Then come you forth more unex- Hold, hold! bear off, I say! (there: pectedly,

'Slid, your part hangs too long. The inasque itse!f, a thousand a-year jointure: Cunn. My joys are mockeries. The cloud, your friend, will be then drawn Niece. You've both express'd a worthy care away,

and love, sir: And only you the beauty of the play. Had mine own eye been set at liberty (sir),

Greg. For red and black, I'll put down To make a publick choice (believe my trutis, all your fullers;

It could not ha' done better for my heart Let but your niece bring white, and we have

Than your good providence bas. three colours.

[Exit Gregory. Oldi. You will sav so then! (bard; Olde. I'm given to understand you are a Alas, sweet niece, all this is but the scabwit, sir.

[favor to, sir. Now I draw forth the weapon. Cunn. I'm one that fortune shows small

Niece. How!
Olc. Why, there you conclude it, whether Oldc. Sir Gregory!
you will or no, sir.

Approach, thou lad of thousands!
To tell you truth, I'm taken with a wit.
Cunn. Fowlers catch woodcocks so; let

Enter Sir Gregory. not them know so much!

Greg. Who calls me? 2 Old father-i'-law thut shall be.] But that 'tis plain he never could be. The mistaking of one letter for another is very usual; biit here the editor has made a greater slip, and has changed one word for another. Uncle-in-law is what sir Gregory designs to call him. So in this act a little lower, the old knight says to sir Gregory,

Tush, nephew, I'll call you so,-
And in act the third sir Gregory says to him,

It's as tine a noist', uncle, as heart can wish. Sympson.
We believe the text genuine, and the slip perhaps intentional.
Anti-mask.) This, I believe, properly means a masque of anticks.






Niece. What motion's this the model of A very monkey, thy necessity sweeper

Shall prize at a thousand pound; a chimnes-
Oldc. Accost her daintily now, let me ad- At fifteen hundred.
vise thee!

[on you.

Niece. But are you serious, uncle?
Greg. I was advis'd to bestow dainty cost Olde. Serious.

(man Niece. You were ill-advis’d; back, and Niece. Pray let me look upon the gentletake better counsel!

[cost With more heed! then I did but hum him You may have good for an angel : the least


. You can bestow upon a wounan, sir,

In haste, good faith, as lawyers chancery Trebles ten counsellors' fees; in lady-ware, Beshrew my blood, a tolerable man, You're over head and ears, ere you be aware. Now I distinctly read him ! Faith, keep a batchelor still, and go to bowls, Grcg. Hum, hum, hunn! [good pitch; sir,

save, sir ! Niece. Say he be black, he's of a very Follow your mistress there, and prick and Well-ankled, two good confident calves, they For other mistresses will make you a slave, look sir.

As if they would not shrink at the ninth child;
Greg. So, so! I have my lerrepoop already. The redness in the face-why, that's in
Oldc. Why, how now, niece? this is the fashion,
man, btell you !

[but mock; Most of your high bloods have it; 'tis a sign Niece. He? hang him! Sir, I know you do Of greatness, marry; This is the man, you would say:

'Tis to be taken down too with May-butter: Oldc. The devil rides, I think !

I'll send to my lady Spend-tail for her mediCunn. I must use cunning here. [respect! cine.

Olde. Make me not mad! use him with all Greg. Lum te dum, dum, dum, de dum! This is the man, I swear.


Nicce. He's qualified too, believe me. Niece. 'Would you could persuade me to Greg. Lum te dum, de dum, de dum! Alas, you cannot go beyond me, uncle: Niece. Where was my judgment? [te dum! You carry a jest well, I must confess,

Greg. Lum te dum, dum, dum, te dum, For a man of your years; but“

Niece. Perfection's cover'd mess. Oldc. I'm wrought beside myself!

Grey. Lum te dum, te dum, te dum! (sir, Cunn. [to the Guardianess] I ne'er beheld Niece. It smokes apparently. Pardon, sweet Comeliness 'till this minute.

The error of my sex!
Guard. Oh, good sweet sir, [woman! Oldc. Why, well said, niece!

[sir. Pray offer not these words to an old gentle- Upon submission, you must pardon her now, Niece. Sir!

(ceeds thee.

Greg. I'll do it by course: do you think Cunn. Away, fifteen ! here's titty-one ex- I'm an ass, knight?

[seal-office. Niece. What's the business?

Here's first my band; now it goes to the Cunn. Give me these motherly creatures! Oldc. Formally finish'd! How goes this Come, ne'er smother it;

suit forward?

[mind, sir; I know you are a teeming woman yet.

Cunn. I'm taking measure of the widow's Guard. Troth, a young gentleman inight I hope to fit her heart. do much, I think, sir.

Guard. Who would have dreamt (nutes! Cunn. Go to then. [were ingrateful. Of a young morsel now? Things come in miGuard. And I should play my part, or I Greg. Trust him not, widow; he's a Niece. Can you so soon neglect me?

vounger brother,

(nothing. Cunn. Hence! I'm busy. (pudent baggage, He'll swear and lie; believe me, he's worth

Olde. This cross point came in luckily, lin- Guard. He brings more content to a wcIlang from the gentleman! art thou not man with that nothing, (any thing; To be a widow's hind'rance? [asham'd Than he that brings his thousands without Cunn. Are you angry, sir?

(shall desire We have precedents for that amongst great Oldc. You're welcome! pray court on: I ladies.

[be in fashion Your honest wise acquaintance. Vex me not, Oldc. Come, come! no language now shall After my care and pains to find a match for But your love-phrase, the bell to procreation. thee,

[Ereunt. Jest I confine thy life to some out-chamber, Where thou shalt waste the sweetness of thy

Enter Sir Ruinovs Gentry, Wittypotes, and youth,

Priscian. Like a consuming light in her own socket, Witty. Pox, there's nothing putsme besides And not allow'd a male-creature about thee!

my wits, + The model of Nineveh.) The model of Nineveh appears to have been a puppet-show in great repute in the time of our authors. It is mentioned in the old comedy of Every Woman in her Humour, 1609, quarto, signature H. • I have seen the city of new Nineteh, and Ju. lius Cæsar, acted by mammets.' It is also taken notice of by Ben Jonson in bis Bartholom meir-Fair, act v, scene 1.




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But this fourth, this lay illiterate share;

Enter Oldcraft und Sir Gregory.
There's no conscience in't.
Ruin. Sir, it has ever been so (where I am.

Ruin. Enough, enough! Ilere comes comWhere I bave practis'd, and must be still

pany! we lose Nor has it been undeserv'd at the year's end, Five shares in wrangling about one. And shuffle the almanack together, racations Iitty. My father? Put on, Priscian! And term-tiines, one with another; tho'I Iłe has Latin fragments too; but I fear !im say't,


(relieve. My wife is a woman of a good spirit;

I'll case my face with a little more hair, and Then it is no lay-share.

Oldc. Tush, nephew! I'll call you so, for Pris. Faith, for this five year,

if there be Ego possum probare, I have had

No other obstacles than those you speak of, A hungry penurious share with 'em,

They are but powder charges without pellets; And she has had as much as I always.

You may salely front 'em, and warrant your Iitty. Present, or not present?

own danger. Pris. Residens uut non residens, per fidem!

Greg. No other that I can perceive, i'faith, Witty. And what precedent's this for me? For I put her to't, and felt beras far as I could; because

And the strongest repulse was, she said, Your hic & hæc, turpis and qui mihi

She would have a little soldier in me, Discipulus brains (that never got any thing That, it need were, I should delend hier ree But by accidence and uncertainty)

putation. Did allow it, therefore I must, that have Oldi. And surely, sir, that is a principle grounded

Amongst your principal ladies: they require Conclusions of wit, hereditary rules

valour From my father, to get by?

Either in a friend or a husband. Ruin. Sir, be compendious;

Grey. And I allow Either take or refuse: I, will 'bate no token Their requests i'faith, as well as any woman's Of my wife's share; make even the last reck- Heart can desire : it I knew where to get onings,

Valour, I would as willingly entertain it And either so unite, or here divide company. As any man that lows.

Pris. A good resolution, profecto! let Oldc. Breathes, breathes, sir; that's the every man

sweeter plırase.

[I'm in Beg his own way, and happy man be his dole! Greg. Blows for a soldier, i'faith, sir! and Witty. Well, here's your double share, and

Practice that way. single brains,

Olde. For a soidier, I grant it. Pol, ædipol, here's toward; a castor ecastor for Greg. 'Slid!


I'll swallow some bullets, and good round ones I will endure it a fortnight longer, but

But I'll have a little soldier in me. By these just five ends-

Ruin. Will you on and beg, Pris. Take heed ! five's odd;

Or steal and be hang'd ? Put both hands together or severally,

Greg: And some scholar she would bave They are all odd unjust ends.

me besides,

[quality Witty. Hedius fidius, hold your tongue!

Olde, Tush, that shall be no bar; it is a I depose you from half a share presently else: In a gentleman, but of the least question. I will make you a participle, and decline you; Pris. Salvete, domini benignissimi, muni

(junction ficentissimi! You understand me! Be you a quiet con

Olde. Salucte dicis ad nos? jubco te salvere! Amongst the undeclined ; you and your Latin Nay, sir, we have Latin, and other metal in Ends shall go shift, solus cum solo, together us too, sir. else;

You shall see me talk with this fellow now. And then if ever they get ends of gold

Grey. I could find in my heart to talk with And silver, enough to serve that perundine If I could understand him.

[lim too, maw of yours,

stantly- Pris. Charissimi, That without do will end in di and dum in- Doctissunique, domini, ex abundantiá s Greg. And some scholar she would have me besides,

Tush, that shall be no bar, &c.] The inpropriety of makmg sir Gregory both tell the tale and give the answer, inclined me to prefix Olderaft before Tush, that shall,&c. Simpson.

6 Pris. Churissimi, dortissimique, domini, er, ubununtia

Charitatis vestræ estole propitii in me jejunuin

Aliserum.] Clarissimi I prefer to churissimi. Jejunum too I can by no means approve, tho' sense, because it is only an arbitrary reading of the editor of the copy of 1079. That of 1017, represents the passage thus; estole propitii in me junenem, which, tho' not sense, because not Latin, will yet be the hand-raid to lead us to what might very possibly have been the original reading; and that with no more trouble than turning of an it into a u-propitii in me juvenem. Sympson. VOL. III.







Charitatis vestra estote propiti in me juvenem Olde. Stay, stay, sir! I will talk a little with Miserum, pauperem, & omni consolatione eru- him first: lem!

(but I'll to him again. Let me alone with both! I will try whether Oldc. A pretty scholar, by my faith, sir! they

(love.-Greg. Does he bey or steal in this language, Live by their wits of no; for such a man I can you tell, sir?

And, what, you both beg together then? He

may take away my good name from me, Pris. Conjunctis manibus, profecto, domine. And I ne'er the wiser.

Ruin. With equal fortunes, equal distribuOldc. He begs, he begs, sir.


[even Pris. Ecce, ecce, in oculis lachrymarum flu- There's not the breadth of a sword's point unmen! in ore

[ pudentia; In our division. Fames sitisque; ignis in vultu, pudor fi im- Greg. What two qualities In omni parte necessitas & indigentia.

Are here cast away upon two poor fellows! Olde. Andi tu bonus socius; tu es scholas If a man had 'em that could maintain 'cm, ticus, sic intelligo,

wbat Ego facium argumentum.

A double man were that! If these two fellows Mark now, sir, now I fetch bim up!

Might be bought and sodden, and boil'd to a Greg. I've been fetch'd up a hundred times jelly, for this;

find eaten fasting every morning, I do not Yet I could never learn half so much.

Think but a man should tiud strange things Olde. Audi, & responde; hoc est urgumen

in his stomach. tum: Nomen est

(nunc, Olde. Come, sir, join yourcharity with mine, Nomen-ergo, quod est tibi nomen ? Responde And we'll make up a couple of pence betwixt Responde argumentum meum.

(for his penny, Have I not put him to't, sir?

Greg. If a man could have a pennyworth Greg. Yes, sir, I think so. (penn'd speech, I would bestow more money with 'em.

Witty. Step in! the rascal is put out of his Witty. Save you, gentleinen! How now? And he can go no further.

What, are you encounter'd here? What felOldc. Cur non respondes?

lows are these?

[a pair Pris. O domine, tantu me est miseria

Olde. Faith, sir, here's Mars and Mercury; Witty. So! he's almost in again.

Of poor planets, it seems, that Jupiter Pris. Ut nocte mecum pernoclet egestus, Ilas turn'd out to live by their wits, and we luce quotidie

About a little spark of charity

{are e'en Paupertas habitet.

[responde To kindle 'em a new fire. Olde. Sed quod est tibi nomen ? & quis dedit? Titty. Stay, pray you stay, sir! Argumentum.

You may abuse your charity, nay, make Pris. Hem, hem!

That goodness in you no better than a vice: Witty. He's dry; he hems: on quickly! So many deceivers walk in these shadows

Ruin. Courteous gentlemen, [fensive now-a-days, If the brow of a military face may not be of- That certainly your bounties were better spilt, To your generous eye-balls, let his wounds Thau reserv'd to so lewd and vicious uses.

speak better than his words, [planted Which is lie that professes the soldier? For some branch or small sprig of charity to be Ruin. He that professes his own profeso Upon this poor barren soil of a soldier.

sion, sir, Olde. How now! what, arins and arts both And the dangerous life he hath led in it go a-begging ?

This pair of half-score years. Ruin. Such is the post-progress of cold Witty. In what services have you been, sir?

charity now a-days, [so swift a motion Ruin. The first that flesh'd me a soldier, sir, Who (för heat to her frigid limbs) passes in Was that great battle at Alcazar, in Barbary, That two at the least had need be to stay her. Where the noble English Stukeley fell?, and

Greg. Sir, let's reward 'em, I pray you; where and be gone!

That royal Portugal Sebastian ended If any quarrel should arise amongst us, His untimely days. I am able to answer neither of them; his iron Hitty. Are you sure Sebastian died there? And steel tongue is as hard as t'other's Latin Ruin. Faith, sir, there was some other ru

mour hop'd 7 The great battle at Alcazar in Barbary, where the noble English Stukeley, fell, und where that royal Portugal Sebastian, 8c.) The battle of Alkuzur was fought in August

, 1578. Don Sebastian, one of the kings who sell in that engagement, being not found after the battle, was for a long time supposed to have escaped, and reported to be living in several different countries. Of Stukeley, who appears to have been a dissolute Englishınan, born in Devonshire, a volunteer in that battle, after having dissipated his property, an account may be seen in an old, ballad published in Evans's collection, 1777, vol. ii. p. 103. See also an old play, entitled, The Battle of Alcazar, with the death of Captain Slukeley, 1to. 1594.

R. Amongst



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Amongst us, that he, wounded, escap'd, Pris. Tous pollous strikerous, angelo to and touch'd (country at home Witty. Certainly, sir,

(peeso. On his native shore again; where tinding his A very excellent scholar in the Greek. Moredistress'd by the invasion of the Spaniard,

Oldc. I do note a wondrous readiness in Than his loss abroad, forsook it, still sup- Greg. I do wonder

[him. porting

Ilow the Trojans could hold out ten years' A miserable and unfortunate life,


[Achilles Which were he ended is yet uncertaiv. As 'tis reported, against the Greeks: if Witty. By my faith, sir,

Spoke but this tongue, I do not think but he lle speaks the neareșt fame of truth in this. Might have shaken down the walls in a

Ruin. Since, sir, I serv'd in France, the vennight,
Low Countries,

[porto, And ne'er troubled the wooden horse. Lastly, at that memorable skirmish at New- Wit!y. I will try him so far as I can in Where the forward and bold Scot there spent the Syriac. his life

Kircom brugmen, shag a dou ma dell mathou. So freely, that from every single heart

Pris. Hushaguth rubgabash shobos unoriadka. That there fell, came home, from his re- Witty. Colpack rubasca, gnauerthem shig solution,


[lashemech nagothi. A double honour to his country.

Pris. Napshamothem ribske bongomush litty. This

Witty. Gentlemen, I have done! any man, Should be no counterfeit, sir. Oldc. I do not think he is, sir.

.Go further! I confess myself at a nonplus. Witty. But, sir, methinks you do not Grey. Faith, not I, sir; I was at my furthest shew the marks


my natural language; I was never doubleOf a soldier: could you so freely scape,

I thank
my hard fortune.

(tongu'd, That you brought home no scars to be your Witly. Well, gentlemen, chronicle?

[in those parts

"Tis pity (walk further off a little, my friends), Ruin. Sir, I have wounds, and many; but I say, 'tis pity such fellows, so endow'd, Where nature and humanity bids me shame So qualitied with the gifts of nature and arts, To publish.

Yet should have such a scarcity of fortune's Witty. A good soldier cannot want

benefits: Those badges.

We must blạme our iron-hearted age for it. Greg. Now am not I of your mind

Olde. "'Tis pity, indeed; and our pity shall In that; for I hold bim the best soldier

speak That scapes best: always at a mock-tencing' A little for 'em: come, sir! here's my groat. I give him the best that has the fewest knocks. Ility. A groat, sir? oh fy! give nothing Witty. Nay, I'll have a buut with your rather! scholar, too. To ask you

'Twere better you raild on 'em for begging, Why you should be poor, yet richly learn'd, And so quit yourself: I am a poor gentleman, Were no question, at least, you can easily That have little but my wits to live onanswer it ;

(serve Oldc. Troth, But whether you have learning enough to de- And I love you the better, sir. To be poor or no (since poverty is commonly Witty. Yet l'll begin The meed of learning) is yet to be tried : A better example than so: here, fellows, You have the languages ? I mean the chief, There's between you; take purse and all; As the Hebrew, Syriac, Greek, Latin, &c. and I Pris. Aliquantulum; non totaliter, domine. Would it were heavier for your

sakes! Oldc. The Latin I have sutfciently tried

There's a pair of angels to guide you tự your him in,

[grounded. lodgings, And I promise you, sir, he is very well

A poor gentleman's good will! [domine! Witty. I will prove him in some of the rest. Pris. Grutins, maximus grutias, benignissime Toia miois fatherois iste cock-scomboy?

Oldc. This is an ill example for us, sir: I Pris. Kay yonkeron nigitton oy fouleroi would asinisoy.

This bountiful gentleman had not come this Witty. Cheateron ton biton ?

way to-day. $ Hop't amongst us.] Thcobald and Seward would read, kopt amongst us.

That memorable skirmish, &c.] This memorable skirmish at Newport happened on the 22d of July, 1600, between prince Albert and prince Maurice de Nassau; the former commander of the Spaniards, and the latter of the forces of the States-general. The Spaniards were worsted, and sustained the loss of 2000 men killed, besides a great number taken prisoners. This battle is inentioned in several contemporary writers;, but we do not find the least notice taken in any of the accounts, of the forward and bold Scot, whose bravery is here celebrated by our authors. R. 19 A cock-fencing.] Corrected by Sympson.



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