[Aug. do they fancy it is a pure unmixed essential delight to us, I say, to behold them in the possession of honours and eminences, and wealth, luxury, and grandeur of all possible sorts, to which we ourselves make no pretensions-to share in which we have neither hope nor wish? If so, I can assure them they have the misfortune to labour under a grievous mistake. I, Christopher North, am not a bit more incapable than any radical in the land of appreciating the conveniences, excellences, comfort, glory, and triumph of having nobody above me. You and I have not lived in the world (some seventy years, Timothy, eh?) without having mixed a good deal with people of all classes ;-we have not passed through" this visible diurnal sphere" without having experienced occasionally, quite as feelingly as others," the proud man's contumely," more especially in its most offensive form of condescension. We have all had our eyes and ears about us, my friend, and our brains and our hearts too,-and our support of the British Aristocracy has been, and is, bottomed on principles entirely unconnected with the selfish part of our own natures. That institution has never presented any thing at all likely to gratify either the personal vanity or the personal pride of individuals in our situation. We have stuck by it as a great bulwark of the Constitution—a great safeguard of the rights and privileges of our fellow-subjects of all classes-a mighty barrier, reared originally perhaps between the Crown and the people, to protect them from each other's violence, but chiefly valuable in our eyes, hodie and de facto, as a barrier between numbers on the one side and property on the other. If the Prince is so unfortunate as to have a set of Revolutionists for his Ministers, and if, following too literally (as, under supposable circumstances of more kinds than one, a very well-meaning Prince might do) the letter of the Constitutional doctrine, he allows them to do wrong in his name, according to the measure and modesty of their own discretion, the Prince himself becomes for the moment merged in the mob—and it is the business of the Peerage to defeat the mob, for the express purpose, not only of protecting US, but of rescuing and emancipating HIM. Let them be found false and faithless on one such occasion-let them convince the loyal gentry that they have been all along buttressing the predominance of a set of functionaries, who, when the great moment for discharging the essential function arrives, want either honesty to recognise, or courage to fulfil, at whatever hazard, the demands of the critical hour;-let them practically bring home this conviction to our bosoms, and they may depend upon the fact that thenceforth, even from that moment, they have not one conscientious adherent below the immediate connexions of their own small, and then isolated, circle.-Oh! ho! we must have something for our booin'! TICKLER. What an honest fellow is "The Examiner!" He, I see, tells the Lords very plainly that their lease is nearly out, whatever course they may pursue on this occasion. Assuming as an undeniable fact, that a decided, a vast majority of them are against the revolutionary robbery, he says-" You will either act according to your own absurd opinion, or you will not. If you do, the nation will cashier you for your presumption. If you do not, —if you, by your conduct on this occasion, manifest a becoming sense of your own incapacity to oppose the popular feeling when strongly pronounced on a momentous question, the conclusion will of course force itself on the dullest understanding, that you are of no use-that the order had as well cease to exist." I won't swear to the words, but that, I am sure, is this clever and candid Republican's sense-and I perceive you agree with him. NORTH. To be sure I do. Indeed all through this battle The Examiner, and The Examiner alone of the Ministerial prints, has met the case fairly and directly. TICKLER. He has and I give him credit for so doing. But you need be under no apprehensions of the second horn of his dilemma. Never was such a con trast as the bold, uncompromising attitude of the Opposition in the Lords, and the crouching, craven, convict-like bearing of the deluders and deluded who occupy the right-hand side of the Woolsack. The Bishops were the only people on that side of the House who looked any thing like men—and it is now no secret that whenever the Bill is tabled there, they are to walk across the floor in a body (all but old doited Norwich)-a thing unexampled since the days of THE IMMORTAL SEVEN!-I wish you could see our muster in that quarter-Wellington, Eldon, Mansfield, Caernarvon, Northumberland, Wharncliffe, Tenterden—and a dozen more of them-confronting such things as the old Jacobin, trembling in his blue ribbon, and his poor, silly socii criminis―his Holland, bloated with vanity and impotence, unwieldy as the Monument, fat and feebleness in every inch-Lansdowne, wasted, worn, enervate Lansdowne-Swag Sefton-but why should we bother ourselves with such nonentities?-The most pitiable, however, are the Canningite Lords-and I own I was vexed, on more accounts than either one, two, or three, when I saw such people as Goderich and Melbourne mixed up with Ulick, Marquess of Clanricarde! Simon Peter! Simon Peter! NORTH. 'Tis well. By the bye, it always strikes me as something more comfortable in itself, than exactly intelligible according to the received theory of actual feeling in certain quarters, that the heiress of England should all this while be intrusted to the care and keeping of a noble Tory lady—the good and graceful Duchess of Northumberland! TICKLER, I must leave that puzzle to Lord Prudhoe's friend, the Magician of Cairo. NORTH. Who?-Magician of Cairo ?—Are you coming Magraubin over us? TICKLER. You have not heard the story, then?, I thought it must have found its way ere now into the newspapers. NORTH. Not a bit of it. Come, we've had enough of King, Lords, Commons, and Newspapers-by all means, supper, and tip us your diablerie. \Rings, and orders lobsters and cold punch. TICKLER. I know you will laugh at what I am about to tell you-but I can only say I heard it at second hand-no more-from one of the two gentlemen who are responsible for having made this concern the tabletalk of all London. They are both men of the very highest character, and they are about, it is said, to publish, jointly, a volume of travels in Africa, including, among other marvels, this same apparently unaccountable narration. NORTH. Name-name. TICKLER. Lord Prudhoe, brother to the Duke of Northumberland, and his friend and companion, Major Felix. They have just returned from Egypt, and except Reform, and Cholera, and Lady their story was, I think I may safely say, the only thing I heard spoken about at any of the Clubs I frequented. Which were— NORTH. TICKLER. White's-the Cocoa-the Alfred-the Travellers'-the Athenæum-and the Senior United Service. NORTH. How the devil are you a member of the last? TICKLER. Multis nominibus. As Ex-fugleman of the Flatfoots-as Brigadier-General in the Scotch Body Guard-and as Deputy-Lieutenant in the counties of Mid-Lothian, Lanark, Renfrew, Dumbarton, Ayr, Argyle, Perth, Fife, and Banff. And how of the Traveller? NORTH. TICKLER. As having accompanied Baxter in " Garrion for ever," in the Kremlin, August the 15th, 1821.-As having eat eighteen inches on end, unbroken, of macaroni, out of the basket of the late King of Naples, the King's Own, in his own market-place, 12th September, 1823.-As having smoked fifteen cigars at one sitting with old Matthias, among the ruins of Agrigentum, in autumn 1824. As having got dead drunk on new rum within the spray of Niagara, with the Teeger, in the dog-days of 1827.-And finally, as having ridden the Spring Circuit of last year-only 7000 miles-in doeskin jacket, dogskin breeches, bullskin boots, and whalebone broadbrim, with the Honourable Mr Justice Menzies of the Cape of Good Hope. The Athenæum ? NORTH. TICKLER. An original member-proposed by William Spenser-seconded by William Sotheby. The Alfred? NORTH. TICKLER. Proposed in 1785 by Lord Thurlow-seconded by Bishop Watson-admitted unanimously. Cocoa? NORTH. TICKLER. Got in through Sheridan about the time of the mutiny of the Nore. White's? NORTH. TICKLER. Proposed by Canning-seconded by Castlereagh, just before their split. NORTH, Very well.-Now fill your glass, and to your story. TICKLER. Lord Prudhoe and Major Felix being at Cairo last autumn, on their re turn from Abyssinia, where they picked up much of that information which has been worked up so well by Captain Bond Head in his Life of Bruce, found the town in a state of extraordinary excitement, in consequence of the recent arrival in those parts of a celebrated Magician from the centre of Africa, somewhere in the vicinity of the Mountains of the Moon. It was universally said, and generally believed, that this character possessed and exercised the power of shewing to any visitor who chose to comply with his terms, any person, dead or living, whom the said visitor pleased to name. The English travellers, after abundant enquiries and some scruples, repaired to his residence, paid their fees, and were admitted to his Sanctum. NORTH. Anno Domini millesimo octingentesimo trentesimo? TICKLER. Imo. They found themselves in the presence of a very handsome young Moor, with a very long black beard, a crimson caftan, a snow-white turban, eighteen inches high, blue trowsers, and yellow slippers, sitting cross-legged on a turkey carpet, three feet square, with a cherry stalk in his mouth, a cup of coffee at his left elbow, a diamond-hefted dagger in his girdle, and in his right hand a large volume, clasped with brazen clasps The Supellex is irreproachable. NORTH. TICKLER. Laugh as you please-but let me tell my story. On hearing their errand, he arose and kindled some spices on a sort of small altar in the middle of the room. He then walked round and round the altar for half an hour or so, muttering words to them unintelligible; and having at length drawn three lines of chalk about the altar, and placed himself upright beside the flame, desired them to go seek a Seer, and he was ready to gratify them in all their desires. Was he not a Seer himself? NORTH. TICKLER. Not at all-but you mistake the business-Did you never read the History of Cagliostro? Not I. NORTH. TICKLER. If you had, you would have known that there were in the old days, whole schools of magicians here in Europe, who could do nothing in this line without the intervention of a pure Seer-to wit, a Maiden's eye. This African belongs to the same fraternity-he made them understand that nothing could be done until a virgin eye was placed at his disposal. NORTH. Had he never a niece in the house? TICKLER. Pooh! pooh!-Don't jeer. I tell you he bade them go out into the streets of Cairo, and fetch up any child they fancied, under ten years of age. They did so; and after walking about for half an hour, selected an Arab boy, not apparently above eight, whom they found playing at marbles. What was he? NORTH. TICKLER. I can't tell you-nor could they-but he was a child, and they bribed him with a few halfpence, and took him with them to the studio of the African Roger Bacon. Go on bye? NORTH. -I attend- -Fill your glass.-Was all this after dinner, by the Now listen, like a sensible man, for five minutes. The child was much frightened with the smoke, and the smell, and the chatter, and the muttering-but by and bye he sucked his sugar candy, and recovered his tranquillity, and the Magician made him seat himself under a window-the only one that had not been darkened, and poured about a table-spoonful of some black liquid into the hollow of the boy's right hand, and bade him hold the hand steady, and keep his eye fixed upon the surface of the liquid; and then, resuming his old station by the brazier, sung out for several minutes on end-What do you see? Allah bismilla! What do you see? Illalla Resoul Allah! What do you see? All the while the smoke curled up faster and faster Of course-of course. NORTH. TICKLER. Presently the lad said: “ Bismillah! I see a horse-a horseman-I see two horsemen I see three-I see four-five-six-I see seven horsemen, and the seventh is a Sultan."- -"Has he a flag?" cries the Magician.—“ He has three," answered the boy.-" 'Tis well," says the other," now halt!" and with that he laid his stick right across the fire, and, standing up, addressed the travellers in these words:-" Name your name-be it of those that are upon the earth, or of those that are beneath it; be it Frank, Moor, Turk, or Indian, prince or beggar, living and breathing, or resolved into the dust of Adam, 3000 years ago-speak, and this boy shall behold and describe him!" NORTH. Very good-now be so good as bring on Lord Prudhoe. TICKLER. I can't say whether he or Mr Felix named the first name-but it was WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. The Magician made three reverences towards the window, waved his wand nine times, sung out something beyond their interpretation, and at length called out, "Boy, what do you behold ?"-" The Sultan alone remains," said the child-" and beside him I see a pale-faced Frank-but not dressed like these Franks-with large eyes, a pointed beard, a tall hat, roses on his shoes, and a short mantle!" You laugh-shall I proceed? Certé-What next? NORTH. TICKLER. The other asked for Francis Arouet de Voltaire, and the boy immediately described a lean, old, yellow-faced Frank, with a huge brown wig, a nutmeg-grater profile, spindle shanks, buckled shoes, and a gold snuffbox! NORTH. My dear Tickler, don't you see that any print-book must have made this scoundrel familiar to such phizzes as these? TICKLER. Listen. Lord Prudhoe now named Archdeacon Wrangham, and the Arab boy made answer, and said, "I perceive a tall grey-haired Frank, with a black silk petticoat, walking in a garden, with a little book in his hand. He is reading on the book-his eyes are bright and gleaming-his teeth are white-he is the happiest-looking Frank I ever beheld." Go on. NORTH. TICKLER. I am only culling out three or four specimens out of fifty. Major Felix now named a brother of his, who is in the cavalry of the East India Company, in the presidency of Madras. The Magician signed, and the boy again answered, “I see a red-haired Frank, with a short red jacket, and white trowsers. He is standing by the sea-shore, and behind him there is a black man, in a turban, holding a beautiful horse richly caparisoned.""God in Heaven!" cried Felix.-" Nay," the boy resumed, "this is an odd Frank-he has turned round while you are speaking, and, by Allah! he has but one arm!"-Upon this the Major swooned away. His brother lost his left arm in the campaign of Ava! Verbum non amplius. Seeing is believing. NORTH. Why the devil did they not bring Maugraby with them to England? TICKLER. Perhaps the devil's power only lingers in Africa! Tell that to the marines. NORTH. SHEPHERD. I'll tell ye a ten thoosan' times mair extraordinar story than that o' Lord Proud-O's-gin I had only something till eat. But I wad defy Shakspeare himsell to be trawgic on an empty stammack. Oh! when wull thae dear guttural months be comin' in again-the months wi' the RRR's! Without eisters this is a weary warld. The want o' them's a sair drawback on the simmer. (Enter Supper.) What! Groose? Groose afore the Tualt? That's a great shame. Gie's the auld Cock. [They sup. Edinburgh: Printed by Ballantyne & Co. Paul's Work, Canongate. |