Satire upon Ladies Fans. I hope I shall not fall under the Cenfure of this auguft Affembly for fo doing; for it must be remembered, that while I cenfure the ridiculous Use of it, not in my own Words but those of another, I equally cenfure myfelf. The History comes from a Gentleman, who, I find, has long been accustomed to teach Ladies the Ufe of the Fan. Ladies, fays this Gentleman, are armed with Fans, as Men are with Swords, and fometimes do more Execution with them. To the End therefore, that Ladies may be entire Miftreffes of the Weapons they bear, I have erected an Academy for the training up of young Ladies in the Exercise of the Fan, according to the most fashionable Airs and Motions that are now practised at Court. The Ladies, who carry Fans under my Direction, are drawn up twice a Day in my great Hall, where they are inftructed in the Use of their Arms, and excrcifed by the following Words of Command: Handle your Fans. Unfurl your Fans. Difcharge your Fans. Ground your Fans. Recover your Fans. Flutter your Fans. By the right Obfervation of these few plain Words of Command, a young Lady of a tolerable Genius, who will apply herself di ligently to her Exercife for the Space of one Half Year, 'fhall be able to give her Fan all the Graces that can poffibly enter into that little modifh Machine. ! But, to the End that you may form to yourselves a right Notion of this Exercife, I beg leave to explain it to you in all its Parts. When my female Regiment is drawn up in Array, with every one a Weapon in her Hand, upon my giving the Word, Handle vour Fans, each of them fhakes her Fan at me me with a Smile, then gives her Right-hand Companion a Tap on the Shoulder, then preffes her Lips with the Extremity of her Fan, then lets her Arm fall into an easy Motion, and ftands in Readiness to receive the next Word of Command. All this is done with a clofe Fan, and is generally learned in the first Week. The next Motion is that of, Unfurl your Fans: In which are comprehended many little Flirts and Vibrations, as alfo gradual and deliberate Openings, with many voluntary Fallings afunder in the Fan itself, which are feldom learned under a Month's Practice, This Part of the Exercife pleases the Spectator more than any other, as it discovers, on a fudden, an infinite Number of Cupids, Garlands, Altars, Birds, Beafts, Rainbows, and the like agreeable Figures, that difplay themselves to View, while every one in the Regiment holds a Picture in her Hand. Upon my giving the Word, Difcharge your Fans, they give one general Crack, that may be heard at a confiderable Distance when the Wind fets fair. difficult Parts of the This is one of the most veral veral Ladies with me, who, at their first Entrance, could not give a Pop loud enough to be heard at the further End of a Room, who can now discharge a Fan in fuch a Manner, that it shall make a Report like a Pocket Piftol. I have likewife taken Care (in order to hinder young Women from letting off their Fans in wrong Places, or on unfuitable Occafions) to fhew in what Cases the Crack of a Fan may come in properly. I have likewife invented a Fan, by which a young Lady of fixteen, by the Help of a little Wind which is enclofed about one of the largest Sticks, can make as loud a Crack as a Lady of fifty with an ordinary Fan. When the Fans are thus difcharged, the Word of Command in Courfe is, Ground your Fans. This teaches a Lady to quit her Fan gracefully, when the throws it afide to adjust a Curl of Hair, replace a falling Pin, or ap ply herself to any other Matter of Importance. This Part of the Exercise, as it only confifts in toffing a Fan, with an Air, upon a long Table, which stands by for that Purpofe, may be learned in two Days Time, as well as in a Twelvemonth. When When my female Regiment is thus difarmed, I generally let them walk about the Room for fome Time, when, upon a fudden, like Ladies that look upon their Watches after a long Vifit, they all of them haften to their Arms, catch them up in a Hurry, and place themfelves in their proper Stations, upon my calling out, Recover your Fans. This Part of the Exercife is not difficult, provided a young Lady applies her. Thoughts to it. The fluttering of the Fan is the last, and indeed the Mafter-Piece of the whole Exercife; but if a Lady does not mispend her Time, fhe may make herself Miftrefs of it in three Months. I generally lay afide the Dog-Days, and the hot Time of the Summer, for the teaching this Part of the Exercife; for, as foon as ever I pronounce, Flutter your Fans, the Place is filled with fo many Zephyrs, and gentle Breezes, as are very refreshing in that Seafon of the Year, though they might be dangerous to Ladies of a tender Constitution in any other. There is an infinite Variety of Motions, to be made Ufe of in the Flutter of the Fan: There is the angry Flutter, the modeft FlutD 3 ter, |