His powers poor Ireland will never forget,
And the widows of Walcheren weep o'er them yet.

So much for the actors.-For secret machinery,
Traps, and deceptions, and shifting of scenery,
Y-RM-TH and Cuм are the best we can find
To transact all that trickery business behind.
The former's employ'd too to teach us French jigs,
Keep the whiskers in curl, and look after the wigs.

In taking my leave, now I've only to say
A few Seats in the House, not as yet sold
May be had of the Manager, PAT C-STL-R-GH.

away,

THE SALE OF THE TOOLS.

Instrumenta regni.-TACITUS.

HERE'S a choice set of Tools for you, Gemmen and Ladies, They'll fit you quite handy, whatever your trade is (Except it be Cabinet-making.-I doubt

In that delicate service they're rather worn out; Though their owner-bright youth!-if he'd had his own will,

Would have bungled away with them joyously still).

You can see they've been pretty well hack'd-and, alack! What tool is there job after job will not hack?

Their edge is but dullish, it must be confess'd,

And their temper, like ELL-NB'R-GH's, none of the best; But you'll find them good hard-working Tools, upon trying

Were't but for their brass, they are well worth the buying;

They're famous for making blinds, sliders, and screens, And they're, some of them, excellent turning machines!

The first Tool I'll put up (they call it a Chancellor)
Heavy concern to both purchaser and seller.-
Though made of pig-iron, yet (worthy of note 'tis)
'Tis ready to melt at a half-minute's notice.

Who bids? Gentle buyer! 'twill turn as thou shapest'Twill make a good thumb-screw to torture a Papist; Or else a cramp-iron, to stick in the wall

Of some church that old women are fearful will fall;
Or better, perhaps (for I'm guessing at random),
A heavy drag-chain for some Lawyer's old Tandem!
Will nobody bid? It is cheap, I am sure, Sir-
Once, twice-going, going-thrice-gone!-It is yours,

Sir.

To pay ready money you sha'n't be distress'd,
As a bill at long date suits the CHANCELLOR best.

Come, where's the next Tool?-Oh! 'tis here in a trice-
This implement, Gemmen! at first was a Vice-
(A tenacious and close sort of Tool, that will let
Nothing out of its grasp it once happens to get)
But it since has received a new coating of Tin,
Bright enough for a Prince to behold himself in!
Come, what shall we say for it? briskly! bid on,
We'll the sooner get rid of it-going-quite gone!
God be with it! Such Tools, if not quickly knock'd
down,

Might at last cost their owner-how much? why, a
Crown!

The next Tool I'll set up has hardly had handsel or
Trial as yet, and is also a Chancellor-

Such dull things as these should be sold by the gross ;
Yet, dull as it is, 'twill be found to shave close,
And, like other close shavers, some courage to gather,
This blade first began by a flourish on leather!
You shall have it for nothing-then, marvel with me
At the terrible tinkering work there must be,

Where a Tool, such as this is (I'll leave you to judge

it),

Is placed by ill luck at the top of the Budget!

LITTLE MAN AND LITTLE SOUL.

A Ballad to the Tune of "There was a little Man, and he wooed a little Maid," dedicated to the Right Hon. Ch-rl-s Abb-tt.

Arcades ambo.

Et cant-are pares.

1813.

THERE was a little Man, and he had a little Soul,
And he said, "Little Soul, let us try, try, try,
"Whether it's within our reach

"To make up a little Speech,

"Just between little you and little I, I, I, "Just between little you and little I!".

Then said his little Soul,

Peeping from her little hole,

"I protest, little Man, you are stout, stout, stout,

"Must our little, little speech be about, bout, bout, "Must our little, little speech be about?"

The little Man look'd big,

With th' assistance of his wig,

And he call'd his little Soul to order, order, order,

Till she fear'd he'd make her jog in

To jail, like Thomas Croggan,

(As she wasn't Duke or Earl) to reward her, ward her, ward her,

As she wasn't Duke or Earl, to reward her.

The little Man then spoke,

"Little Soul, it is no joke,

"For, as sure as J-CKY F-LL-R loves a sup, sup, sup, "I will tell the Prince and People

"What I think of Church and Steeple,

"And my little patent plan to prop them up, up, up, "And my little patent plan to prop them up."

Away then, cheek by jowl,

Little Man and little Soul