I

A two-fold moral here 's convey'd,
That fhould with double praife be paid.
Imprimis, you are made to learn,
How folks of difcontented turn,
Of ev'ry state they have not tried
Can only fee the pleafant fide.
You next are taught by Bunny's fate
Your powers not to over-rate;
He vainly thought himself a Hare,
Think yourself only-what you are.

THE FEAST OF KINGS.

[From the Morning Poft.]

Rex denique regum!

THIS whimsical wizard, this pigmy of France,
As he lately through Germany led fuch a dance,
To conjure his vanity fomething to eat,

I.o! monarchs like mushrooms fpring under his feet;
The dunghill ephemera fprouting the while,
Crouch to his mercy, and live by his fmile;
Till Kingfisher Bony may fportively want
To give higher zeft to his fauces piquantes,
Cries, "Champignons royales are excellent things,”
And gulps at one mouthful these Lilliput Kings!
FUNGUS.

1

CAUSES OF THE ENMITY OF THE FRENCH AGAINST ENGLAND PLAINLY STATED.

[From the General Evening Poft]

MR. EDITOR,

HAVE often read in the papers, letters figned Cato, Brutus, or Socrates, which I fuppofe are the names of fine gentlemen at the Weft end of the town, which talk a great deal about British principles and French principles, and conftitutions and balances of power, and fuch other high-flown matters. Some of thefe things they always pitch upon to be the causes

of

I like

of the wars between England and France. these gentlemen very well for the fine words they make ufe of, but the dla Cato or Socrates of them all knows any thing about the matter. Now, if you'll give me a little room, I'll let you into the fecret.

You must know then, that all this fighting is not about principles, or any fuch thing, but about one Shop felling more than another, and Mr. Bull's getting on in trade fo much faster than Mr. Frog. I don't wifh to say any harm of Mr. Bull, but certain it is he was not always fuch a great man as he is now. When first he beginn'd the world he was but a poor wool-ftapler, and used to fell all his wools raw to one Mynbeer Brabant, and other folks. After a little while, he got to be a clothier, and fold his wools made up; would not fell none no other ways. This foon makes him rich, and then he fets up cutler befides, with a great many work-fhops at Sheffield firft, and then at Wolverhampton and Birmingham. Well-money makes money, as the faying is; and it was always Mr. Bull's way, whenever he got a pound, to lay it out in getting another. So now he buys a very large eftate, called the Weft Indies. In courfe, you know, all his tenants there deal for every thing they want only at his fhop, and he buys all they have to fell, fuch as cotton, indigo, rum, fugar, and fo on.These here things he brings home to his own shop, and a fine figure you may be fure they cut there. Indeed, ever after this time he has called it a warehoufe, and is affronted if any body calls it any thing else. All forts of people come from far and near to deal there for every thing. The next thing he does he buys another great eftate called the East Indies, and ferves his tenants there the fame way, gets them to buy every thing of him, and fell every thing to him, So now he gets tea and filk, and twenty things more into his warehouse. Well, after this, he fets up his fifter Hibernia

H 2

Hibernia in another large fhop, and teaches her to make linens. Through these ways he came to be what he is; and now he is fo rich, that, wherever he choofes to employ his capital, he beats almost every other tradefian out of the market.

All this while Mr. Frog, though he began the world much better than Mr. Bull, has hardly been able to get into any other trade than the wine and brandy line, which he began with. Being moreover a devilish flashy, extravagant chap, whenever he gets any thing he fpends it right out either in junketting, or fwaggering about and quarrelling, which makes bad worse; To he feldom can make both ends meet, and he's been a bankrupt time after time. Having got no credit, he's obliged to pay money down for every thing he buys. Here again Mr. Bull beats him; for as his notes are as good as cash, he can buy every thing wholefale, all the world over, and make Mr. Frog himself come to his warehouse. Thus altogether, what with poverty and what with envy, Mr. Frog, you may be fure, cannot be quiet; and, as Mr. Bull will not give up bufinefs, they two can never agree. Mr. Frog wants fome of Mr. Bull's eftates in the Eaft and Weft, but Mr. Bull fays he'll be d-d if he shall have a bit.

Then there is another thing; Mr. Bull has got the best set of servants in all the world, called Jack Tars. O my heart! it is a leafure to fee thefe: fuch jolly, ftrong, brave, clever fellows, does their work in fuch a ftyle, and all in good humour too, it's a treat even to hear of them. Now Mr. Frog he wants to have fome tars too. So he puts jackets and trowfers on his people, and bids them go and fwagger about, and quarrel with the Jacks. O! if you was but to fee how Mr. Bull's people ferves them! Such upfetting, fmathing, and lathering! Away run Mr. Frog's people back again, and then Mr. Frog fpits at Mr. Bull, and calls him Tyrant! So you fee, as I faid be

fore,

fore, these two can never agree; and, if this is not a truer account of the matter than ever Cato or Socrates fent you, fay I'm a fool, and not a deep dog of

Houndfditch, March 23.

A GROCER.

STANZAS TO SPRING: A BURLESQUE. -
[From the European Magazine.]

THE

HE feather'd fish have fought the grove,
To warble forth their love-fraught lay;
While laughing lebs, their blifs to prove,
Frisk arm in arm on ev'ry spray.

The woolly tribes that fkim the ftream,
Now feize the unfufpicious fly;
While foaring owls forget to dream,
And face the fun's fuperbeft eye.

Each quadrupedal bird is feen

Cropping the tender thistle's ftem;'
Whilft all the blue-bells look quite green,
And rofe-buds look as blue as them.

Each bellowing zephyr foftly howls,
And light-wing'd tempetts deck the sky;
The voice of joy, in gentle growls,
Through ev'ry glade is heard to die.

Blue-ey'd funs now foftly fhine,

And mellow moons their tribute bring,
With ev'ry studded flar divine,

To hail the fad approach of spring.

June 4th, 1806.

J. M. L.

IMPROMPTU ON THE DEATH OF MR. PITT.

BY MR. JERNINGHAM.

MATCHLESS eloquence to wisdom join'd!
O fplendid honour of the human mind!

O fun-like orb, that cheer'd the public eye,
At thy extinction Nature heav'd à sigh !

H3

She

She met thy birth with gifts unknown before,
And o'er thy foul diffus'd a lavish ñore;
Yet then, thofe gifts from others to withhold,
With jealous hand the crufi'd the heav'nly mould.

LINES

ADDRESSED TO THE COMMITTEE WHO HOLD THE SUBSCRIPTION FOR THE ERECTION OF THE STATUE OF THE RI. HON. WM. PIET.

[From the Morning Poft.]

WHILE Paris fills the world with plafter kings,
And Rome, for faints, fome mould'ring carcafe
brings,

Let Britain fhew the fculptor's art divine,
And draw her glory with a marble line.
On Dover's rocks let Virtue's ftatue ftand,
In form of Pitt, to awe the Gallic land!—
There, white bold honour from each eye-ball glows,
And threat'ning juftice frowns upon his brows,
The breathing lips "My Country !" ftill exclaim;
My Country! echoes loud the voice of Fame!-
The found is heard-the watch-word fpreads afar,
And calls all England to the front of war:
While moveless on the fhore the patriot stands,
A beacon of the brave from diftant lands;
Like Troy's blefs'd ftatue, that Olympius gave,
Its men to rally-and the realm to fave!

BRITANNICUS.

EXTEMPORE ON THE DEATH OF MR. PITT. [From the General Evening Poft.]

T 'O heav'n he wings his glorious flight,

In death immortal, as in living bright;
He finks to rife-his earthly course now run,
Clafp'd in his father's arms lives Chatham's fon!

Almighty