women of every description to engage us in all public, and in most private parties; and it was deemed a fettled point of neceffity, as well as of etiquette, that no female fhould ftir abroad without one of us in front, and one on each fide of her. It hath been uniformly allowed, that this attendance was infinitely more requifite than one footman in front of a chair, and two behind. And as we have never been guilty of the flighteft indecorum, but have always evinced the warmest attachment to the most scrupulous propriety, we are the more deeply afflicted at the neglect under which we fuffer; feeing that our unmerited exile forebodes no good to our former patroneffes, but may be followed by deprivations of the most ferious nature.

"Humbly conceiving that our difgrace originates in your Royal Highnefs having, on fome proper occafion, difpenfed with our attendance, which the unthinking part of the world mistook for a general dereliction, we moft earnestly entreat your Royal Highness to undeceive the fashionable world in this particular, by permitting us, on all occafions, to fhew our attachment to your Royal Highness's perfon and virtues, which will confer the moft lafting obligation on, Madam, your Royal Highness's devoted fervants,

"TUCKER and SLEEVES.

P.S. We Tuckers are quite tired of adding to the length or to the ornaments of petticoats, and hope to refume our elevated ftation; and we Sleeves with to ceafe being sported as capes to gowns, coats, and fpencers, and to come down to our former ftation, that the elbows may no longer blush at our improper elevation."

The following laconic note, from a cynical correfpondent, fhall conclude my prefent felection :

“MR. WEATHERCOCK,

"Pleafe to ask the women, whether the emotion which induced Eve to make a drefs of fig-leaves, was a

fenfe

fenfe of fame, or of modesty, or of both? and whether thofe of her daughters, who, instead of fig-leaves, use nothing but tranfparencies, have a fenfe of either fame or modefty? Yours, as you behave,

"GREGORY GRIM."

IMPROMPTU ON FEMALE DRESS.

PRAY does the fex itself adorn,

By chance, or by defign?

Who drefs for Lapland in the morn,
At ev'ning for the Line.

Not fo the flowers-when Phoebus warms,

They court his orient ray;

But neve give their opening charms

To the declining day!

ARVIRAGUS.

ON THE PRETENDED PROPHECY,

TW

THAT, SOME DAYS AGO,

"Water parted from the fea *
Would increase the river's tide."

[From the Oracle.]

WAS faid, long fince, that many a fcull
Was empty when the moon was full;

And that 't is fo in modern times,
Witnefs the fequel of my rhymes.
Auguft the tenth, it was foretold
By fages, and by women old,

Would fee the Thames increase its waters
From ocean's ftores and other quarters,
To fuch enormous height, that all
Would get well fows'd before their fall.
The cellars near the river's fide
Were first to fuffer by the tide;

* See THE WEATHBRCOCK, NO. VIII. p. 58.

F 2

Each

Fach trembling, frighted parlour guest
To feek the attics thought it beft;

But these, 't was fear'd, would scarcely fave
Their inmates from th' intruding wave.
Such was the note of preparation,
And fuch the wondrous perturbation,
That all the tables, chairs, and beds,
Were carried on their owners' heads,
From Millbank to St. Giles's Pound,
Because that seem'd the highest ground.

Now, pry'thee, gentle mufe, be kind,
Paint the ftrange picture in my mind!
'T is done-I thank you-there they go,
Thoufands, to fee the river flow:

They line the banks, the wharfs, the bridges,
Nay, e'en the church and steeple ridges,
In eager expectation gazing

For this phenomenon amazing.

Lo! Sheridan and Tierney there;
Mark how Fox and Windham ftare;
While all the oppofition ranks
With anxious eyes furvey the banks,
As if, because there 's nought befide,
They would oppofe the rifing tide.
Nor does the mania weaker rage
Among the heroes of the stage;
For Matthews, Ellifton, and others
Of the fock and buskin brothers,
D-ning rehearfais, run to view
A fcene fo fplendid and fo new.
E'en Carlo can't at home remain,
Who play'd fo well at Drury Lane;
Behold he joins the gen'ral row,

Exclaiming fweetly," Bow, wow, wow!"
Eager to fee the waters fwell,

He loves the element fo well.

'Tis ftrange that this fagacious cur

Should thus with other puppies err.

'T is two o'clock-" The Tide"--all cry,
"As vet is not fo very high;

But let us wait an hour or two,
No doubt the prophecy is true."

An

An hour they wait, but all in vain,
The tide feems ebbing back again;
Yet ftill fo flow are fome to think
They have been dup'd, that on the brink
Three hours they linger, loth to go,
Thinking the tide again must flow.
What difappointment they exprefs,
To see the stream grow lefs and lefs!
Poor filly fouls!-the caufe is this-
The prophecy was but a quiz.
The moon may influence the tides,
But ftill it rules the brain befides :
And now 't is easily detected,

1

That ail your brains were thus affected.

AQUARIUS.

THE MANIFESTO,

WHICH BONAPARTE OUGHT TO HAVE PUBLISHED.

THE

[From the Morning Chronicle,]

HE Emperor of France, being no longer able to miftake the intentions and pans of the leading powers of Europe, and feeling that he must either undertake a very unequal conteft with them, or expose himfelf to the indignation of his own fubjects, and to the ridicule of the world, by fhrinking from a danger which he has provoked; deems it just and neceffary to make the following public confeflion. To avert the calamities of war, to counteract the deftructive effects of his former aggreffions-thefe are his principal motives for acting in this manner; his fincerity may be doubted, it can only be proved by future events.

The Emperor of France confeffes that his interference in the affairs of Holland and of Switzerland was tyrannical and unneceffary; that all his measures refpecting Italy were calculated to alarm the Court of Vienna, and to roufe the attention of every power interested in its own fafety; he confeffes that the infults which

F 3

which the ambaffadors of various nations have fuffered at Paris, were not only contrary to every prin 'ciple of common politenefs, but were of themselves fufficient caufes for infpiring the fovereigns, whom thofe ambaffadors reprefented, with fentiments of contempt and of hoftility-fentiments which must have been confirmed and juftified by his violation of the laws of neutrality. He is, moreover, fully fenfible of the futility and madness of those hopes which he once cherished with regard to the ruin of England; nor will he any longer infift on the Treaty of Amiens as the bafis of every future negotiation with that country, having difcovered that he owed it rather to the weaknefs of a Minifter, than to any general dejection or fears of the nation.

The Emperor of France expects not that moderation, which he has not himself fhown; he fees the gathering ftorm, and for his own fake, and for that of Europe, would difpel the clouds before they burst. He confeffes that the firm and manly conduct of Austria has furprifed him, that he relied on her fears of his power, and on her knowledge of his military skill. This is not the only difappointment which he has encountered. The active co-operation of Ruffia, the probable junction of the Northern States with the Confederacy, the dangerous hefitation of Pruffia, have confounded his projects, and have compelled him to renounce every hope of univerfal dominion. From this unreferved avowal of his paft conduct and expectations, the offended powers will judge that his wishes for present atonement are unfeigned, that his profesfions of future moderation are fincere. The Emperor of France can gain nothing by a general congrefs; he recommends it neverthelefs to all the fovereigns of Europe, as the only measure which can prevent a war, and enfure the tranquillity of the continent; it will then be his endeavour to deserve their confidence, and

to