While thus you smile, but storm within, 'Tis sauve que peut-the fruit desert And homeward now you all revert, THE BUTTERFLY BEAU.-ANON. I'm a volatile thing, with exquisite wing, And each blossom contributes its essence; I'm the butterfly beau. At first I enchant a fair Sensitive plant, Then I flirt with the Pink of perfection; I have long felt a strong predilection": A Lily I kiss, and exult in my bliss, But I very soon search for a new lip; And I pause in my flight, to exclaim with delight"O, how dearly I love you, my Tulip !" In short, you must know, I'm the butterfly beau. Thus forever I rove, and the honey of love On myself I must doat, for in my pretty coat, In short, you must know, I'm the butterfly beau! MISS MARY-WHAT SHE IS, AND WHAT SHE DOES.-ANON. MISS MARY is a charming maid, A comely lass is she; She every morning coffee drinks, She's never gadding in the street, She has a very pretty foot, And sometimes wears prunella; She's virtue's self personified— She scorns to do a wrong; The poor have always found her kind, On Sunday eve she sits alone, Each leisure moment she employs, To cultivate her mind; Whenever she a shopping went, Small faults she has, and who has not, Accomplishments like these would make SPECIMEN OF A SHREW.-ANON. BAH! that's the third umbrella gone since Christmas. What were you to do! Why, let him go home in the rain, to be sure. I'm very certain there was nothing about him that could spoil. Take cold, indeed! He does'nt look like one of the sort to take cold. Besides, he'd have better taken cold than taken our umbrella. Do you hear the rain, Mr. Caudle? I say, do you hear the rain? And as I'm alive, if it is'nt St. Swithin's day! Do you hear it against the windows? Nonsense: you don't impose upon me; you can't be asleep with such a shower as that! Do you hear it, I say? Oh! you do hear it! Well, that's a pretty flood, I think, to last for six weeks; and no stirring all the time out of the house. Pooh! don't think me a fool, Mr. Caudle; don't insult me; he return the umbrella! Anybody would think you were born yesterday. As hear if anybody ever did return an umbrella! There: do you it? Worse and worse. Cats and dogs, and for six weeks: always six weeks; and no umbrella! I should like to know how the children are to go to school to-morrow. They shan't go through such weather; I am determined. No; they shall stop at home and never learn anything, (the blessed creatures!) sooner than go and get wet! And when they grow up, I wonder who they'll have to thank for knowing nothing: who, indeed, but their father. People who can't feel for their own children ought never to be fathers. But I know why you lent the umbrella: oh! yes, I know very well. I was going out to tea at dear mother's to-morrow: you knew that, and you did it on purpose. Don't tell me ; you hate me to go there, and take every mean advantage to hinder me. But don't you think it Mr. Caudle; no, sir; if it comes down in buckets full, I'll go all the more. No; and I won't have a cab! Where do you think the money's to come from? You've got nice high notions at that club of yours? A cab, indeed! Cost me sixteen-pence! two-and-eight-pence; for there's back again. Cabs, indeed! I should like to know who's to pay for 'em; for I'm sure you can't, if you go on as you do, throwing away your property, and beggaring your children, buying umbrellas! Do you hear the rain, Mr. Caudle? I say, do you hear it? But I don't care- -I'll go to mother's to-morrow-I will; and what's more I'll walk every step of the way; and you know that will give me my death. Don't call me a foolish woman; it's you that's the foolish man. You know I can't wear clogs; and with no umbrella, the wet's sure to give me a cold: it always does; but what do you care for that? Nothing at all. may be laid up for what you care, as I dare say I shall; and a pretty doctor's bill there'll be. I hope there will. It will teach you to lend your umbrellas again. I shouldn't wonder if I caught my death: yes, and that's what you lent the umbrella for. Of course! I Nice clothes I get, too, traipsing through weather like this. My gown and bonnet will be spoiled quite. Needn't I wear 'em then? Indeed, Mr. Caudle, I shall wear 'em. No, sir; Ugh! I look forward with dread for to-morrow! How I am Paying for new nozzles for Oh! it's all very well for you; Ha! It was only last week I had a new nozzle put to that umbrella. I'm sure if I'd have known as much as I do now, it might have gone without one. other people to laugh at you! you can go to sleep. You've no thought of your poor patient wife, and your own dear children; you think of nothing but lending umbrellas! Men, indeed!-call themselves lords of the creation! pretty lords, when they can't even take care of an umbrella ! I know that walk to-morrow will be the death of me, but that's what you want: then you may go to your club, and do as you like; and then nicely my poor dear children will be used; but then, sir, then you'll be happy. Oh! don't tell me! I know you will: else you'd never have lent the umbrella! You have to go on Thursday about that summons; and, of course, you can't go. No, indeed : you don't the umbrella. You may lose the debt for what I care-it go without won't be so much as spoiling your clothes-better lose it; people deserve to lose debts who lend umbrellas ! And I should like to know how I'm to go to mother's without the umbrella. Oh! don't tell me that I said I would go; that's nothing to do with it: nothing at all. She'll think I'm neglecting her; and the little money we're to have, we shan't have at all:-because we 've no umbrella. The children, too!—(dear things !—) they'll be sopping wet ; |