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And one in blue, at Number Two,
Calls daily like a dun;
And not to Number One.
Miss Bell, I hear, has got a dear
Exactly to her mind,
Without a bit of blind.
Which she has never done,
Don't take at Number One.
'Tis hard with plenty in the street
And plenty passing by-
But only rather shy.
Has got a grown-up son;
There is a Number One.
There's Mr. Wick at Number Nine,
But he's intent on pelf,
His neighbor as himself.
The goods had quite a run;
On hand at Number One.
My mother often sits at work,
And talks of props and stays; And what a comfort I shall be
In her declining days.
maids about the house, Have set me down a nun; The sweetheats all belong to them,
That call at Number One.
Once only, when the flue took fire,
One Friday afternoon,
And told me not to swoon.
The Phoenix and the Sun ? We cannot always have a flue
On fire at Number One.
I am not old, I am not plain,
Nor awkward in my gait;
That went from Number Eight. I'm sure white satin made her look
As brown as any bun:
I think at Number One.
At Number Six, they say Miss Rose
Has slain a score of hearts : And Cupid for her sake has been
Quite prodigal of darts.
I wish he had a gun;
To shoot at Number One.
It's very hard, and so it is,
To live in such a row;
To aggravate my woe.
O take away your
I know, at Number One.
THE FRENCHMAN AND THE RATS.-ANON.
A FRENCHMAN once who was a merry wight,
His supper done, some scraps of cheese were left,
Our hero now undressed, popped out the light,
Sans cérémonie soon the rats all ran, And on the flour-sacks greedily began; At which they gorged themselves; then smelling round, Under the pillow soon the cheese they found ; And while at this they regaling sat, Their happy jaws disturbed the Frenchman's nap; Who, half awake, cries out," Hallo! hallo! Vat is dat nibbel at my pillow so?
Ah! 'tis one big huge rat !
In vain our little hero sought repose;
haste he runs it o'er, And every
time he viewed it thought it more. “ Vy zounds, and zounds!” he cries, “I sall no pay; Vat charge ten shelangs for vat I have mangé? A leetle sup of portar, dis vile bed, Vare all de rats do run about
head ?" “Plague on those rats !" the landlord muttered out; “ I wish upon my word, that I could make 'em scout: I'll pay him well that can." 66 Vat's dat
you say him well that can.” “Attend to me, I pray : Vill you dis charge forego, vat I am at, If from your house I drive away de rat ?" "With all my heart," the jolly host replies, “E'coutez donc, ami;” the Frenchman cries. "First, den-Regardez, if you please, Bring to dis spot a leetal bread and cheese Eh bien ! a pot of portar too ; And den invite de rats to sup vid you: And after dat no matter dey be villingFor vat dey eat, you charge dem just ten shelang : And I am sure, ven dey behold de score, Dey 'il quit your house, and never come no more."
6 I'll pay
MR. AND MRS. TINDER.
He. I say I will be heard, madam.
He. I'm not allowed to speak in the house; especially when you
turn the house out o'windows! I declare I never see an hour's comfort at home for you.
She. Because, sir, you 're never at home an hour to see it. Do I ever receive you coldly?
He. No, madam, you make the house too hot to hold me. You begin it always—morning, noon, and night.
She. Me! 'tis you. If you didn't begin it, I never should.
She. Aye, then I grant you; but after all that was merely a joke, for neither parson or witnesses believed me.
He. A joke, indeed, for-
Now, I say, madam, a woman ought to give in to her husband. Nature ordained it so; she being the weaker vessel, therefore, ought to be broke.
She. Not in all cases, for it often happens that possesses the most animal strength. Then, how is nature at fault? For my part, I prefer
“The good old plan,
Master let them be who can." He. Don't irritate me!