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Then says--" Thy name I do implore ?"
Out jumps the gardener in a fright,
The wond'rous tale a bencher hears,
A POLITICAL BORE.-MURPHY.
QUIDNUNC and FEEBLE.
Quidnunc. (without.) Hold your tongue, you foolish fellow: he'll be glad to see me. Brother Feeble ! brother Feeble !
Feeble. I was just going to bed. Bless my heart, what can this man want? I know his voice. I hope no. new misfor. tune brings him at this hour.
Enter Quid. Quid. Brother Feeble, I give you joy ! the nabob's demolished. Hurrah !
Feeb. Lack-a-day, Mr. Quidnunc ! how can you serve me thus?
Quid. Súraja Dowla is no more! Hurrah !
Quid. Our men diverted themselves with killing their bullocks and their camels, till they dislodged the enemy from the sotagon, and the counterscarp, and the bungalow
Feeb. I'll hear the rest to-morrow morning. Oh! I'm ready to die!
Quid. Odds-heart, man, be of good cheer! The new nabob, Jaffer Alley Cawn, has acceded to a treaty; and the English company got all their rights in the Phiemad and the Fushbulhoornons.
Feeb. But, dear heart, Mr. Quidnunc, why am I to be disturbed for this?
Quid. We had but two seapoys killed, three chokeys, four gaul-walls, and two zemindars. Hurrah ! Feeb. Would not to
morrow morning do as well for this ? Quid. Light up your windows, man !-light up your windows ! Chandernagore is taken! Hurrah !
Feeb. Well, well! I'm glad of it. Good night. (Going.)
Quid. Ay, ay, sit down, and I'll read it to you. (Begins to read. Feeble moves away.) Nay, don't run away: I've more news to tell you. There's an account from Williamsburgh, in America. The superintendent of Indian affairs
Feeb. Dear sir! dear sir! (Avoiding him.)
Quid. He has settled matters with the Cherokees—(Folloring him.)
Feeb. Enough, enough! (Moving away.)
Feeb. I wish you would let me be a quiet inhabitant of my own house.
Quid. So that the white inhabitants will now be secured by the Cherokees and the Catawbas
Feeb. You better go home, and think of appearing before the commissioners.
Quid. Go home! No, no ! I'll go and talk the matter over at our coffee-house. (Going.)
Feeb. Do so, do so!
Quid. (turning back.) I had a dispute about the balance of power. Pray, now, tell
Feeb. I know nothing of the matter.
Quid. Well, another time will do for that. I have a great deal to say about that. (Going-returns.) Right ! I had like to have forgot. There's an erratum in the last “ Gazette." Feeb. With all
heart. Quid. Page 3, 1st col., 1st and 3d lines, for bombs read booms. Feeb. Read what
will. Quid. Nay, but that alters the sense, you know. Well, now, your servant. If I hear any more news, I'll come and
Feeb. For heaven's sake, no more!
Quid. I'll be with you before you 're out of your first sleep
Feeb. Good night, good night! (Hurries off)
Quid. (screaming after him.) I forgot to tell you—the emperor of Morocco is dead. So now, I have made him happy. I'll go and knock up my friend Razor, and make him happy, too; and then I'll go and see if anybody is up at the coffeehouse, and make them all happy there, too.
FEELIN' a hand on my arm, I turns round; and who should I see but Marm Green! Dear me, said she, is that you,
Mr. Slick ? I've been looking all about for you for ever so long. How do you do? I hope I see you quite well. Hearty as brandy, marm, says I, tho' not quite as strong, and a great deal heartier for a seein' of you. How be you? Reasonable well, and stirrin', says she : I try to keep amovin’; but I shall give the charge of things soon to Arabella.
Have you seen her yet? No, says I ; I hav'n't had the pleasure since her return; but I hear folks say she is a most splendid fine gall. Well, come, then, said she, atakin' o'my arm; let me introduce you to her. She is a fine gall, Mr. Slick-that's a fact; and tho' I say it, that shouldn't say it, she's a considerable of an accomplished gall too. Now, I take some credit to myself, Mr. Slick, for that. She is throwed away here; but I was detarmined to have her educated, and so I sent her to bordin' school; and you see the effect of her five quarters. Afore she went, she was three years to the combined school in this district-that includes both Dalhousie and Sherbrooke. You have combined schools in the States, hav'n't you, Mr. Slick ? I guess we have, said I; boys and galls combined; I was to one on 'em, when I was considerable well grown up. Dear
me, what fun we had! It's a grand place to larn the multiplication table at, ain't it? I recollect once-Oh, fie! Mr. Slick, I mean a siminary for young gentlemen and ladies, where they larn Latin and English combined. Oh, latten! said I; they larn latten there, do they? Well, come, there is some sense in that: I didn't know there was a factory of it in all Nova Scotia. I know how to make latten. Father sent me clean away to New York to larn it. You mix up calamine and copper,
and it makes a brass as near like gold as one pea is like another; and then there is another kind o’latten workin' tin over iron-it makes a most complete imitation of silver. Oh! a knowledge of latten has been of great sarvice to me in the clock trade, you may depend. It has helped me to a nation sight of the genuwine metals—that's a fact.
Why, what on airth are you atalkin' about ? said Mrs. Green. I don't mean that latten at all; I mean the Latin they larn at schools. Well, I don't know, said I: I never seed any other kind o'latten, nor ever heerd tell of any. What is it? Why, it's a— it's a—--. Oh, you know well enough, said she; only you make as if you didn't, to poke fun at me. I
believe, on my soul, you 've been abammin of me the whole blessed time. I hope I be shot if I do, said I; so do tell me what it is. Is it anything in the silk factory line, or the strawplat, or the cotton-warp way? Your head, said she, considerable miffy! is always a runnin' on a factory. Latin is aNabal, said she, do tell me what Latin is. Latin? says he,why, Latin is--ahem, it's—what they teach at the combined school. Well, says she, we all know that as well as you do, Mr. Wisehead; but what is it? Come here, Arabella dear, and tell me what Latin is? Why, Latin, ma, said Arabella, is-am-o, I love; am-at, he loves; am-amus, we love ;—that's Latin. Well, it does sound dreadful pretty, tho', don't it? says I; and yet, if Latin is love, and love is Latin, you hadn't no occasion—and I got up, and slipt my hand into hers—you hadn't no occasion to go to the combined school to larn it; for natur', says I, teaches that a—and I was whisperin' of the rest o' the sentence in her ear, when her mother said, Come, come, Mr. Slick, what's that you are asaying of? Talkin' Latin, says I, smiling at Arabella ;-ain't we, miss? Oh yes, saia she, returning my glance and larfin’;-oh yes, mother; arter all, he understands it complete. Then take my seat here, says the old lady, and both on you sit down and talk it; for it wili be a good practice for you ;-and away she sailed to the end of the room, and left us a-talking Latin !
A poor simple foreigner, not long ago,