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The foreigner bow'd, and gave thanks for his lesson ;
INCIDENTS OF TRAVEL.--MAJOR JONES.
I'd hearn a great deal about steam ingins, but if the Semmynole ingins is any uglier, or frightfuller than they is, I don't wonder nobody wants to tack 'em. Why sich other cogwheels, cranks and conflutements, I never did see—and then they 's so spiteful, and makes the fire fly so. I couldn't help feelin sort o’ skeered of it all the time, and I wouldn't been that feller what rid on top of the critter, and fed and watered it, not for no considerashun. I was lookin round it a little, to try to git the hang of it, when the feller just tetched one of the fixins, and feugh-h-h! it went rite in my ear, and like to blowd my brains out with hot steem. “My eyes !” ses I, “mister, what made it do that !” “Oh, it was jest blowin its nose,” ses he, and he tuck hold of another thing, and the infurnel critter set up a yell like a panther with a grindstone on his tale. Thunderation, how the steem did fly! enuff to blow all creation to Ballyhack. “ All aboard,” ses the man, the bell tapped, and in bout a minit everybody was stowed away and waitin. Chug, went sumthing, and away I goes rite over the back of the seat-it jerked once more, and then it begun to go. Chow, chow, chow--chew, chew, chew--che, che, chittu, chit-to, fit-te, fit, fit, fit, cher-r-r-r-r; and the whole bilin of us was gwine a long, with a perfect whiz; and the way the fire flew was miracelus—grate big sparks now and then dodgin all round a feller's face like a yaller-jacket, and then drappin rite down in his busum. For sum time it would tuck three men to watch the sparks of one, and they couldn't.
Well, we went hummin along jest like iled thunder, makin more noise nor a dozen cotten gins all gwine at once, only stoppin now and then to pile on lighterd and fill up the bilers, and to drap a feller here and thar on the rode. They was the sleepyest set of folks abroad that ever I did see.
Thar they was, all scattered about in their seats, heads and heels together; here a pair o' boots stickin rite strate upwards, and thar a feller's face, opened wide enuff to swaller a saw-mill. Some of 'em was monstrous troubled in their dreams, and kept tossin and twistin about as bisy as bull yearlins in fly-time, while some big-foot fellers lay sprawl'd out on the benches, quiet as midlin of meat, snorin a perfect harrycane.
The fust thing I knowd I didn't know anything in pertickler, cept that my eyes felt monstrous gritty when I tried to open 'em wide
“ Look here; master-master !”
“I isn't Jim, master,'' ses the nigger feller what was shakin me by the coller ; “you better go to the Hotel, the passengers is all gone long time ago."
I soon seed how it was, and not havin no baggage but jest my saddle-bags, I tuck the road the feller pinted to.
I soon came to a place where there was nothin but wagons and a lot of fellers settin round a fire.
-- Whar's the hotel ?” ses I. “ Thar aint no hotel here,” ses one feller, what was singin,
“ Drive my wagon long the rode:
“Won't you take something?" ses he, drawin a old junk bottle of
rum, that smelled strong enuff of inguns to knock a man down, and pintin it rite under my nose fore I know'd what he was bout.
"No, I thank you,” ses I, “I's a Washingtonian.” " Who's they ?" ses he ; "sum of your Flurnoy preachers, I spose ?!? “ No,” ses I, they's revolutioners."
“Revolutioners !” ses he.“ why my father was a revolutioner, and fit agin the British at King's mounting, and helped to lick tyranny out of the country.”
Well, that was right,” ses I ; “hurra for the revolutioners.” " Come, take sumthing," ses he, and pinted the bottle at my nose agin.
"No," ses I, “I'm a revolutioner, and go agin King Alkohol tooth and toe nail."
King who ?" ses he. “King Rum," ses I; "that very tyrant that's got you by the guzzle now, and he'll have you choked down on yer knees to him fore a half hour if you don't revolutionize on him and
The feller stopped and looked rite down in the fire—then at me—then at the bottle, and then he tuck another look at the fire.
“ That's a fact,” ses he, “it's had me on my back afore tonight; but somehow I can't-yes I kin—and here goes, mister—hang all tyrants—I'm a revolutioner too, a Washington revolutioner, forever !” and with that he throw'd the bottle of rum smack in the middle of the fire, and it blazed up blue and yaller like a hell-broth, as it is.
ROMEO'S DESCRIPTION OF AN APOTHECARY.-SHAKSPEARE.
I do remember an apothecary,—
Remnants of packthread, and old cakes of roses,
I do remember an old bachelor,
SIR JASPER, JAMES, GREGORY, AND HARRY.
Sir J. Where is he? where is he?
Jam. Only recruiting himself after his journey. You need not be impatient, sir; for, were my young lady dead, he'd bring her to life again.--He makes no more of bringing a patient to life, than other physicians do of killing him.
Sir J. 'Tis strange so great a man should have those unaccountable odd humors you
mentioned. Jam. 'Tis but a good blow or two, and he comes immediately to himself. Here he is.
Enter GREGORY and Harry. Har. Sir, this is the doctor. Šir J. Dear sir, you're the welcomest man in the world. Greg. Hippocrates says, we should both be covered. Sir J. Ha! does Hippocrates say so? In what chapter,
Greg. In his chapter of hats.
Greg. Doctor, after having exceedingly travelled in the highway of letters ---
Sir J. Doctor! pray whom do you speak to ?
Sir J. Ha, ha !--I am a knight, thank the king's grace for it; but no doctor.
Greg Wihat, you're no doctor?
(Beats him. Sir J. Done?--what's done?
Greg. Why now you are made a doctor of physic-—I am sure it's all the degrees I ever took.
Sir J. What sort of a fellow have you brought here?