Judge. As I take it down, please to favor me with it once more. Wit. S-g-u-r-gent. Judge. What? Wit. S-e-r-gund. Mr. D. Have you always been what you say? What were you originally? Wit. S-y-u-r-g-e-n-d. Mr. D. Were you ever a gardener, Dr. Warburton? Mr. D. I do not ask you to spell that word again. Wit. Sergund-aye, that's it. Mr. D. My lord, I am afraid I have thrown a spell over this poor man which he can't get rid of. Where were you a gardener? Wit. I never was a gardener. I first was a farmer. I ceased to be a farmer, because I learnt the business I now is. Mr. D. Who did you learn it of? Wit. My lord, is that a proper question? Judge. I see no objection to it. Wit, I learned it of Doctor Hum: he practised the same as the Whitworth doctors, and they were regular physicians. Mr. D. Where did they take their degrees? Wit. I don't think they ever took any. Mr. D. Then do you suppose they could be regular physicians? Wit. No; I believe they were only doctors. Mr. D. Were they doctors of law, physic, or divinity? Mr. D. Did you ever make up medicines from the prescriptions of a physician? Wit. I never did. Mr. D. Do you understand the characters they use for ounces, scruples, and drachms? Wit. I do not. I can make up as good medicines in my way as they can in theirs. Mr. D. What proportion does an ounce bear to a pound? Wit. My lord, is that a fair answer-I mean question? Judge. Certainly. Mr. D. Are there sixteen ounces to the pound? Wit. We do not go by weight; we mix ours by the hand. Mr. D. Do you ever bleed? Wit. Yes. Mr. D. With a fleam or lancet? Wit. With a lancelot. Mr. D. Do you bleed from the vein or the artery? Wit. From the wain. Mr. D. There is an artery about the temple. Can you tell the name of it? Wit. I does not pretend to have so much knowledge as some. Mr. D. Can you tell me the name of that artery? Wit. I don't know what artifice you mean. Mr. D. Suppose I were to tell you to bleed my servantwhich heaven forbid!—in the jugular vein, where would you apply the lancet? Wit. In the arm, to be sure. I am a bit of a dentist. Mr. D. Indeed! Suppose, then, a person had the toothache, and could not bear it, how would you proceed? Wit. Beat it out, to be sure. Mr. D. With what? Wit. A hammer. Mr. D. You may retire. I am perfectly satisfied. THE THREE BLACK CROWS.-BYROM. Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand, Where I come from, it is the common chat; But you shall hear an odd affair indeed! And that it happened, they are all agreed: Not to detain you from a thing so strange, A gentleman, that lives not far from 'Change, This week, in short, as all the alley knows, Taking a puke, has thrown up three black crows. "Impossible !"—"Nay, but it's really true, I had it from good hands, and so may you." "From whose, I pray?" So having named the man Straight to inquire his curious comrade ran. "Sir, did you tell "-relating the affair— "Yes, sir, I did; and if it's worth your care Ask Mr. Such-a-one, he told it me; But, by-the-by, 'twas two black crows, not three." Whip to the third, the virtuoso went. "Sir," and so forth-" Why, yes; the thing is fact, Though in regard to number not exact; It was not two black crows, 'twas only one; "Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt." Then to his last informant he referred, And begged to know if true what he had heard. Black crows have been thrown up, three, two, and one, Did you say nothing of a crow at all ?" I did throw up, and told my neighbors so, Something that was as black, sir, as a crow." THE CHEAP SUPPER.-REIMER. In a neat little village not far from Berlin, There entered his house once, quite late in the day, "Bring cheese for my money, bring butter, bring bread !" The supper was brought, He showed his approval By quickly effecting Eating hearty, I mean, as hungry folks do, With a great deal of haste and a great deal of gout. It a witty conceit, Not thinking, to cheat; !! But, in my humble notion, 'twas no wit at all; *A coin worth about a cent and a half. A thing very fitting a reckless outlaw, To my neighbor who keeps THE BEAR o'er the way, Or the house of that name, And this put their keepers at war, as we say, SPEECH OBITUARY.-CLARK'S KNICK-KNACKS. NOTHING could more thoroughly impress us with the fact, that it is pretty impossible to communicate to others those ideas "whereof we ourselves are not possess-ed of," than the following funereal discourse, which was recently delivered in the Florida House of Representatives. The duty of making it was voluntarily assumed, and even insisted upon, by the speaker, to the no small wonder of the House, his utter incompetency being notorious: "Mr. Speaker: Sir! Our fellow citizen, Mr. Silas Higgins, |